Lady Leaf
by Allybalybee
Summary: After all the independence Yasu has enjoyed, she now must face the prospect of Lady Tsunade's shackles back in Konoha. The ex-ambassador ponders how Temari's plans are always so flawless - until a certain red head catches her up! What does he want to say?
1. Chapter 1

_I thought I'd better warn the purists out there first: it's important to note that some events from this story are not included in the Naruto plot anime or manga. Details have been changed to open up the opportunity for the other character's point of view. I hope this doesn't detract from enjoyment. ;0) Allybalybee x_

**Lady Leaf **

It was after the great battle to save the village from the Sound, and right on the heels of the funeral for the Third Hokage. The whole population were both miserable and traumatized after the events of that day. True, the losses could have been worse, and yes, Konohagakure was still standing, albeit shrouded in a haze of smoke. I, too, felt that the luxury of being objective was no longer an option.

The medical profession had standards to be maintained. As a nurse, my responsibility was to heal, to help those in need and do no harm; feelings and beliefs needed to be put aside for the good of the patient. It is said that the identity and background of the injured is not to be taken into consideration regarding treatment, but it was well known that not all the hidden villages shared this philosophy. Their own soldiers would be healed first and POW would be left to die in hospitals. . Despite this fact, the Village Hidden in the Leaves still gave aid to all inflicted with serious injuries.

Today had been a long morning. I felt sick and very tired, having watched the pale and frozen faces of the dead taken from beds and wheeled away.. What struck me more, however, was that I couldn't help in a meaningful way. All the other nurses were taking temperatures and making notes, assisting the doctors in their work, and what was _I _doing? I was permanently tied to the sluice: cleaning filthy sheets, emptying bed pans and taking charge of dirty laundry. Of course, everyone had to take their turn to keep the hospital clean—I'm well aware of hygiene regulations—but the truth is, no one else seems to take their fair share of laundry duty.

Matron, barking orders inches away from my eyebrows, snapped me back to reality. She stabbed a pointed finger toward a ninja who has just come in, blood gushing from his arms. Foreign knives, _butcher tools_ embedded in the fragile pink flesh were difficult to remove, but I lead him to a spare bed and watched as the doctor slowly drew out the blade. I noticed each part of the blade had upward grooves in the metal, creating more damage. _Weapons designed to cause as much pain going in as they do coming out – what sort of creature would create such a thing?_

The doctor took the bloody clothes and dumped them into a plastic bag. He pointed to the bed sheets and asked for them to cleared, along with the plastic bag. As I did as he requested, I offered to help stitch up the wounds, but he snarled at me to stop wasting time and do my job.

Konohagakure hospital is a large building with whitewashed walls and long, green-tiled corridors that stretch for miles. There are twelve wards altogether, including a ward for the medical core, a children's ward, A & E and rehab. There's always a funny smell that follows wherever you go - a mixture of disinfectant, hand gel and bleach. Whenever I return home after a long day, I can never get the smell out of my hair, despite having worn a nursing cap. I could spend hours in the shower rubbing and scrubbing with various flower-scented shampoos and oils, but alas, to no avail.

My break arrived quickly and a disgruntled male nurse mentioned something about having twenty minutes to eat (our lunch break should be thirty), before taking over. Outside, away from the chaos, the sun was shining, but there was a distinct smoky odour that floated on the faint breeze. The light wind tickled my long and rather stout nose, which was passed down from my mother's side. There were times when the thought of using Ninjutsu to change it were tempting, but as a nurse, I possessed no such jutsu.

The lighting changed from brightness to shadow as the clouds hid the sun and then revealed it again. It was quite warm. Settling under the Sakura tree, I retrieved my lunch from the barely functional rucksack that I always carried. A nurse always needed to keep her strength up. After all, who knew when those double doors would bash open with some emergency? There was a small feast of rice, boiled eggs and pork that Mother had made this morning, and with the snap of my chopsticks, I began to tuck in while the Lecture of the Morning repeated over and over in my head. Why was it that her smile always looked helpful, but underneath, she's smouldering with ambitious thoughts; thoughts about what to do next to fix me.

I had become the youngest qualified nurse in the village only one year ago. Training had been tough and highly competitive; for every vacancy in the village there were guaranteed to be at least seven other applicants. Some nurses were forced to relocate to other villages for employment, and this was okay, as the Village in the Leaves had the largest medical training facility for miles around. Smaller villages often made requests for medical assistants to augment their own doctors at the drop-in centres. This meant that, despite being a long way from home, you could still achieve a career, although it would be a lonely existence.

I had no intention of leaving Konohagakure. My mother would kill me, as nurses from the Katashi family had _never_ left the village--they were firm and grounded people. Only a complete black sheep would want to dishonour our good name with such wicked and selfish thoughts of travelling… Imagine setting such a bad example for my brother, Naoki, giving him absurd thoughts of expanding his horizons. Wouldn't that be terrible.

It didn't sound so terrible to me; my brother was very anxious, especially after father died. It wouldn't hurt to let the outside world influence him once in a while. On second thought, the attempted destruction of our village had come from the outside world… Perhaps mother was right. I didn't agree with her smothering, but what else could she do?

"Hey, if you don't get back inside soon, Matron Shun is gonna eat _you_ for lunch!"

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't even noticed Takumi sneaking up behind me. The remnants of my lunch box spilled out onto the grass; my resulting glare made him burst into laughter. Takumi was a nice guy, with short spiky black hair and glasses thick as milk bottles. He'd really looked after me when I first came to the hospital; you could say he had a knack for keeping me out of trouble.

"I thought I had twenty minutes! What's Shun trying to pull, anyway?"

"There's a situation," Takumi replied seriously. "A new patient came in and he's causing a few problems. Apparently, you're the ideal person to deal with it."

"It better not be an explosive case of diarrhoea. I'm really not in the mood for that, especially just after eating."

"Maybe you should call in sick and go home," he suggested, smiling weakly.

"Are you kidding? Shun would have me pulling night shifts for the next two weeks if I went home now. That woman hates my guts for some daft reason, now she wants _me_ to sort out some grumpy patient," I complained, crossing my arms.

Takumi looked nervous, shifting from one foot to the other. He was normally laid back and teasing, but something had spooked him. He took off his glasses and wiped them clean.

"You know I'd cover for you, don't you? I can take your shift and you can pay me back some time." His eyes were very blue in the sunlight. Without his glasses, Takumi actually looked okay. "We could go see the new _Princess Gale_ film… Even that's bound to be better than what Matron's got planned for you."

I stood up straight. Takumi was nineteen, at least four years my senior. I knew for a fact that he hated Yukie Fujikaze and all the _Princess Gale_ films ever created.

"I can handle whatever comes my way," I tried to reassure him, "Besides, if I ran away from every challenge, I wouldn't be a very good nurse, would I? I don't want to give anyone ammunition to put me down. Being the youngest on the staff is hard enough as it is."

He nodded sagely, he more than anyone knew how hard I'd worked to fit in and get along on the job. I never expected to be accepted, but the derision from my colleagues and even the patients was a little trying. Being judged on my age was unfair; I couldn't count how many times had a patient demanded a _proper_ nurse, or how many times had I been washing soiled nightgowns in the sluice when I should be taking temperatures. Yep, Matron Shun really loved giving me 'little jobs' to do.

"So, who is this awkward patient giving everyone grief, anyway?" I yawned.

Takumi cleared his throat. "His name is Gaara of the Sand."


	2. First contact

Together, we walked into the hospital, Takumi asking where exactly I had been hiding the past few weeks. Apparently, the Chunin exams had created an explosion of excitement and several surprising outcomes. As usual the shinobi wannabes were causing a stir and I was unable to keep up on the action. Sasuke Uchiha was the name on everybody's lips, but as for this Gaara… never heard of the guy.

Ahead, a flock of doctors and nurses surrounded Matron Shun, shouting and complaining. The elder woman looked distinctly annoyed, her usually immaculate bun coming undone. The wispy grey strands stuck to her sweaty reddened face, and the Matron's deep emerald green apron (which she wore to distinguish herself from everyone else) was in a sorry state of rips and tears. Suddenly, she pulled a male doctor aside and they spoke in whispers, trying to maintain a sense of calm.

"But Matron Shun, he threatened to kill me!" the male doctor whimpered.

"Don't talk such nonsense, he's a twelve-year-old brat!" she hissed back. "You're supposed to be a senior doctor! Grow a damn backbone. These young whipper-snappers are looking to you to show them how it's done and _you're_ whining like a baby."

"And you, _madam_," the doctor fixed his shirt and belt, sharply trying to reassert himself, "have failed to notice that not _one_ member of our experienced staff wants to go anywhere near him! Why can't you deal with him? Oh, that's right – you tried and came out covered in sand!"

I watched the two adults eyeball to eyeball with each other and coughed gently. They both jumped and turned to look at me.

"Nurse Takumi said that you needed me?" I asked.

The two seniors suddenly smirked in agreement. I didn't like the look of that smirk; it was very evil, in the sense that they were getting out of doing something nasty and giving it to me instead.

"Miss Katashi, so glad that you could _finally_ turn up for work!"

The jibe, I expected, but the use of my surname rather than 'young upstart', 'slacker' or 'squirt' was a big surprise. It was no secret that Matron Shun and her right-hand man, Doctor Sora, did not appreciate my appointment to the team.

Looking back, I still can't decide whether finally completing my training was the start of my dream or a terrible nightmare. Mother was so proud – of herself, of course, for getting me through med school. I was never going to be a member of the medical core (too dangerous, she said) but she was a powerful force when it came to reviewing for exams and endless spot questions. Naoki, too, ended up learning a fair proportion of nursing ethos and jargon by the end. When I felt tired and wanted to quit, the emotional blackmail would begin: the shame I would bring, father's memory tarnished because I was too lazy, or perhaps I did not care about the family's reputation in the village. There were times when I felt that the pressure of trying to live up the Katashi family expectation sucked. Did it make sense that just because my mother was a practitioner that I should be a nurse? Or that Naoki should follow in Father's footsteps? Even the famous Sasuke became a ninja despite being the last of his clan. He had the freedom to choose a brand new career for himself but he didn't – I wonder why?

Matron disturbed my thoughts. "There's a… _patient_," her pause was noted, "I'd like you to take care of him personally. He's a boy, only a little younger than yourself, but he's having trouble settling into the hospital routine. Now, I'm sure that even you - from one child to another - can bring him around. This is all to be kept confidential. so don't go blabbing…"

I stared blankly at Shun, not quite comprehending what was being asked of me. Was I actually taking care of a human being? "Until the council leaders have made a decision regarding a treaty, he is to remain under the protection of the hospital. I can't afford to lose crucial members of staff to baby sit. We have more important jobs to do! _You_, however, areexpendable."

"Excuse me, but why are the doctors afraid of him? Is he dangerous in some way?" I asked, noting the cruel remark.

"He's a spoilt boy with a talent for mind games and throwing sand." She furiously brushed at her face. "He can be quite the little monster, so you better watch yourself, slacker. Well?! Don't just stand there, here's the notes and get down to the isolation ward immediately!"

I made a swift exit round the corner and stopped to read the notes that Matron Shun had thrust upon me. What I had been given revealed very little about the patient. His personal history, biological makeup, and even his surname were unknown. He was to be put on a drip to avoid dehydration, but this action had resulted in several mysterious attacks on nurses, the details of which were not clear. His right arm had a serious wound with suspected internal bleeding, and there was severe facial bruising which was result of an assault.

A brief glance through the window showed that the blinds were firmly shut and only a few thin threads of light had broken through. It wasn't completely dark, but certainly shadowy and dim. In the bed, faintly visible, a figure was laying perfectly still, his eyes open and glaring at the ceiling. I took a deep breath, knocked on the door and stepped inside.

"Good afternoon," I began brightly; there was no reply. The atmosphere was as still as the body in the bed. As I walked toward the blinds, something crunched underneath my feet. I decided to ignore it for the moment. I twisted the blinds open gently. "It's such a lovely day outside; it would be a shame for you to miss the sunshine."

Again, there was no reply. I could see now that I was standing in a pile of sand strewn around the tiled floor. Despite the warm rays of the sun, goose pimples began to appear on my arms - there was something not quite right. The silence was eerie – usually, the twittering of birds, or at least the faint bustle of shoppers at the market could be heard from the window, but there was nothing at all. It felt like time had stopped and I was moving in slow motion; there was no marker to gauge movement or sound. Even the leaves on the trees were frozen and the watch pinned to my uniform had stopped dead. A tiny feeling suggested that moving towards the door, walking out and never returning would be a smart move.

I fought the overwhelming urge to leave and made a brief analysis of his injuries. It was obvious he'd been trying to take care of things himself without medical intervention. His shoulder was loosely bandaged with ripped strips of white cloth from his own clothing. The white had been stained with deep crimson drips of blood. Somehow he'd managed to wrap the cloth around the shoulder wound. I was surprised the boy hadn't gone into shock; he was deathly pale.

"My name is Yasu. I'm here to look after you for the next few days, so if you need anything, please ask."

There was a quick glance from dull turquoise eyes before they returned to the ceiling. The irises reminded me of the rock pools that I used to investigate at the beach when I was little: much deeper than they seemed, concealing nipping crabs or stinging by the sand mites that attacked the unwary.

"I noticed that your shoulder is bleeding. It might hurt a little less if it was treated properly. Would you like me to change the bandage, too?" Again there was no reply.

As I moved slowly towards the bed there was a hissing, and the next second, the grains of sand that had been scattered across the floor rose up and formed a solid wall in front of me! Curious, I reached out to touch the sand. It formed an outstretched palm and pushed me sharply towards the door. The speed with which the grains of sand had moved to build the structure was incredible. As I stole a glance at the bed, the boy was still motionless on his back, not even muttering a jutsu or creating hand signs. It was as if the sand was acting of its own accord.

"You don't have to protect him from me," my voice sounded croaky. "I only want to change that bandage so the shoulder can heal properly. If it isn't looked at soon, he could lose the arm. Do you understand? I only want to help."

I felt slightly silly talking to sand, but if it had a mind of its own, surely Gaara's wellbeing would come first. I turned back to the sand, careful to keep a good metre away from it. Gaara frowned but sat up; his hand flew the bandage, which was beginning to unravel. I could now see the ninja's full attire; a jet-black jumpsuit with a full brown leather body belt that stretched from his shoulder to his waist. The belt was secured with straps and buckles and pinned to the base was a headband showing the symbol of the village hidden in the sand. Just below the short sleeves of his arms were wire mesh bands. Wrapped around the ankles white bandages and on his feet open toed sandals.

"What do you mean, 'I could lose my arm'?" The voice was slow and deep, almost hypnotic in the way the words were spoken. I took a double take unsure whether he had spoken at all.

"If we don't stop the bleeding, you could suffer from gangrene. In many cases, we've had to amputate limbs to prevent further spread of infection."

"The sand will heal me. I have no need for your meddling. Leave me be." Gaara sniffed dismissively.

Outraged, I immediately stood taller and spoke up, "I will not! Sand is an irritant with rock and mineral particles. If you put _that_ into the wound you'll make things worse. That sand has just been lying on the floor and no matter how many times the wards are cleaned, it's still probably picked up dirt and bacteria! Are you prepared to take a risk like that?"

"I've never felt pain until Uchiha penetrated my barrier with that accursed jutsu. You know nothing, your concern is wasted. The sand and I are as one. It cannot let me die, for its survival relies on my own. You talk of the sand as an irritant, something that disturbs the harmony of my body… and yet we are the same."

What he was saying didn't make much sense.

The sand was hissing again, much louder this time. I normally wouldn't say sand has a personality, but these grains were getting more and more agitated. This was no ordinary kid - he was warped! How was I going to get through the next few days? I certainly wasn't a psychiatrist! The boy thinks he's one with the sand?

In absence of my common sense I reached out to touch the sand again, only this time the grains made a fist and punched my stomach. Toppling backwards, I landed roughly on my arm. I clutched my stomach with the other and tried to breathe, a tight crushing pain below my abdomen and tears blurring my vision. I felt like I was choking; unable to take big breaths, I was gasping for small, painful pockets of air. My ribs felt tight, too; I 'd been winded by the fall.

With horror, I could see the sand moving towards me. Gaara stood behind, glaring with anger. The fight or flight instinct waged a war inside; I felt annoyed that a child younger than me had lashed out and hurt a nurse, and yet my hand was already grasping for the door handle. With a final effort, I collapsed into the corridor and slammed the door shut, my back pressed against the door just in case he tried to leave the room. For the next ten minutes, my shaking body fought to keep itself under control. I felt nauseous and beaten. Matron Shun thought I was the person to handle _this - _now I knew for certain she wanted me dead.


	3. Tears

_Author notes - Manythanks to a lad / lass called Kendansa for proof reading! It just goes to show that the fan fiction community can help each other once in while! Allybalybee x _

**Lady Leaf **

**Chapter 3 **

It felt like hours had passed before I gathered the courage to once again stand on my own two feet. All I needed was some strong sweet tea from the hospital staffroom and to stay there permanently until Gaara of the Desert went away. I kept my eyes firmly ahead and tried not to attract attention despite my blotchy eyes and flared up cheeks. In anger, I cursed the sand village for creating ninja so cruel and barbaric, Matron Shun for this awful job and myself for being too soft.

The staff room sign finally appeared and I smashed my card into the key slot. There was a loud buzz and the familiar green light appeared, signalling entry. The staffroom was empty; everyone was doing their rounds. I sank into one of the old green leather chairs and fought off another barrage of tears. It felt odd, sitting here, willing myself not to cry but knowing that I really needed to. All I wanted was to curl up and sleep; however, if I was caught here without a good reason I'd be reported.

My eyes felt tight and sore, so I washed my face in some freezing water near the sink. As I patted my skin dry with a towel, I caught my reflection in the mirror. I hated looking at myself after crying –always the same pathetic, sorrowful face that told me the world was crashing down. Mother always chid me for being too open with my feelings. 'People can read you like a book,' she used to say, and yet I never really understood what she meant. If I felt happy or upset, why couldn't I let people know?

With my throat parched, I checked to see if the kama was still warm. A brief investigation of the small black brazier showed it contained flickering light golden flames. I took a chipped tea bowl carefully in my hands and then ladled the tea into it. The aroma was soothing, if a little bitter to the taste, and with each tiny sip I began to feel normal again.

"So, this is where you're hiding?" Takumi looked concerned sitting down next to me on the next leather chair. "What the heck happened? The nurses said one minute you came stumbling out the room and then just took off."

"I said or did something he didn't like," I sucked air into my mouth to stop the tears that threatened to pour again. "When I went to touch the sand it became a fist and punched me in the stomach, even though I was a safe distance away."

"I told you to go home…the rumours I've heard about this Gaara really frighten me. The thought of you being anywhere near him gives me the creeps. You have to tell Matron Shun that you're not going back in there."

"No."

"Yasu, don't be so stubborn! That kid is a trained ninja from the Sand Village!"

"Matron Shun gave me the job because she thought I couldn't stick it. If I run away from this, I'll be back to the sluice and the staff at this hospital will poke fun at me all the more. I've had a wake up call, and now I need to learn from it. I need a plan, something to get more information about this Gaara."

I paused for a moment trying to wrack my brains for something that might be useful then it hit me. "Takumi, is Sasuke Uchiha on one of the wards?"

"Uchiha was brought in about the same time as our Sand friend, and another boy called Naruto Uzumaki, both ninja trainees. Apparently they fought Gaara on the outskirts of the village and took him down. The doctors decided to keep the Leaf ninja on the children's ward and Gaara isolated away from everyone else. Why do you want to know all this, anyway? Yasu, where are you going? Yasu? YASU!"

The journey down to the children's ward took forever. My arms swinging powerfully by my sides, I was determined that nobody was going to stop me. A quick glance at the ward chart showed Uchiha in room 7 and Uzumaki in room 11. I borrowed the laundry cart abandoned by reception and slowed down my pace.

Rounding the corner, I almost bit my tongue. Sasuke's room was crawling with guards! It would be difficult to get in with that amount of security. My heart sank but I decided to try room 11 just in case Naruto might be able to tell me about his encounter with Gaara and share what he found out.

As I knocked and opened the door the first thing I noticed was the mess of the room.

In the centre, someone was bent over wearing one of the hospital gowns and showing their bare behind in all its glory. The figure darted from one side to the other muttering under breath trying to find something important.

"Aww man, I've gotta find my clothes, otherwise I can't train! Pervy Sage will disappear off on _some more research_ and leave me behind again! Grrr, how am I supposed to become Hokage if I stay stuck in the hospital? Damn it!"

"Erm, excuse me. Are you Naruto Uzumaki?" I gingerly enquired.

Instantly the frantic boy stopped and stared in my direction. He looked just over four foot at full height, although with his spiky blond hair it was difficult to tell. There was a shocking blue bruise in the centre of his forehead. This contrasted with the blue of his eyes that shone brightly like twin sapphires. He had an instant sunny smile that radiated confidence. It was a shame that my first impression of him had been an ass.

"You better believe it!" he replied immediately. "Hey! Are those my clothes? You brought them just at the right time I was going stir crazy looking for my stuff. I really need a change of underwear; wearing gowns like this are a little breezy!"

"So I noticed…" Naruto blushed scarlet realising what I meant. I smiled kindly at him. "Don't worry, it's nothing I haven't seen before. I _do_ have a younger brother, after all. Here, take the clothes, but before you rush off, I need to ask a few questions, if you don't mind."

"Well…sure, I can do that," Naruto shyly took the bundle and pulled the curtain around him. "What did you wanna know?" His voice became muffled as he pulled the t-shirt over his head.

"You're a ninja in training, aren't you? I heard that there was fight between you and another called Gaara."

"Gaara," Naruto grumbled and grunted as he pulled his pants on. "Yep, I fought him alright, and kicked his butt with Gama Oyabin. Man, I never knew that the summoning jutsu would come in handy so quickly! When Gaara fell asleep and let that crazy Shukaku start trashing the forest, I thought it was over. But Gama managed to grab onto his body with a duel transformation jutsu of the nine tailed fox, and I head butted Gaara to wake him up. Boy, was he mad…" The curtain swiped open, revealing the plucky young ninja in bright orange. He pulled the ties of his blue headband tightly, despite the obvious discomfort he must have felt from the bruise on his forehead. Puzzled, he sat down at the edge of the bed, swinging his legs from side to side.

"What do you want to know about him for, lady?"

"I've been asked to look after him, and to be frank, Naruto, he isn't the easiest person to care for – as a nurse, I mean. There's this sand that protects him and he seems intent on hurting others. Is there anything you could tell me that might help?"

Naruto hung his head and stared at the floor suddenly quiet. What came next was spoken in a rumbling whisper, "Gaara told me once that there's a sand spirit sealed instead his body. Something about the grudge of an old monk that had been trapped inside a jar of tea back in Suna. He hurts and kills people to make himself feel alive, like it's his purpose in life. He laughed at me when I told him that I fought for my friends and he said that I should love only myself."

"The sand and I are as one…" I said aloud beginning to understand. The ninja cocked his head to one side and I grinned at him. "Naruto, if it feels right to fight for your friends, then you should never stop, no matter what anyone says. It shows that you truly have the spirit of the Leaf Village."

Aware that at any moment, the nurse for the ward might burst in searching for the laundry cart, now was the time to take my leave.

"I need to go now, but thank you."

"No problem. Hey, lady, I know he seems scary and all that," Naruto hesitated. "He kinda reminded me of how I used to be. He's had a rough deal with people trying to kill him, and, well, that would enough to freak anyone out. Just help him get better, okay? I want to fight him again someday!"

As I rolled my eyes, the blond chuckled and gave an enthusiastic thumbs-up. To boys his age, it seemed all that mattered was the next fight. He'd been battered black and blue and was yearning for more of the same. Was that courage or arrogance? Whatever it was, I wanted to seal some in a bottle and give it to Naoki; he could learn a thing or to from this hyperactive ninja.

"I'll try my best, Naruto, but I won't make any promises."

Before setting off home, I made a point of stopping by Gaara's room and peeked through the window. He was still staring at the ceiling, having closed the blinds again, shrouding the room in darkness. If he was as powerful as Takumi made him out to be, why didn't he just up and leave? What was stopping him from making an escape back to the Land of Wind?

I pulled the screen door back slowly, checking to see if Mother was around. It was empty in the kitchen, and I felt a small sense of relief. I really didn't feel like explaining my lateness, because dinner was ruined. There was a note attached to a brown paper bag, scrawled in angry, spider-like characters. It read 'don't expect hot Yakitori after treating this place like a hotel.' I sighed.

Placing the chicken skewers onto a clean plate, I began to nibble them carefully, trying to make sure the honey didn't dribble down my chin. The house was very quiet but I was glad of the time to be alone. It was rare to have time at home without Mother interrogating me about the day or Naoki desperate to play a game of Chopsticks.

I could see the moon outside; it was nearly full and very bright against the midnight blue sky. I knew that perhaps Gaara would be watching the same moon.

Tonight, I would be safe in my own bed, away from the dark and echoing corridors of the hospital night shift. If there was one thing I hated more than having a lecture from Mother, it was holding a lamp and creeping from ward to ward, checking on the sleeping patients. If Matron Shun had her way, I would working the night shift tomorrow and only checking on one patient in particular, which made me shiver.

"How come you're so late?" A tired voice asked. Naoki was rubbing his emerald green eyes and scratching the back of his head. At eight, my little brother was an extremely light sleeper, unlike my father, who used to be able to nap through a hurricane. He was a kind little boy, devoted to his family and especially fond of big sister, even though she never had time to play with him.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry, I've been working late at the hospital."

"You always work late. Mother was moaning about how you missed dinner again."

I ruffled his strawberry blond hair and smirked. "I don't know why mom gives you such a hard time even when you're working really hard. When you graduated from med school I thought all that was going to stop."

"She's worried, that's all. Listen Naoki, I might not be around a lot the next few days, but my next day off, I promise to take you somewhere really special… just the two of us. Don't look at me like that! This is really important. I have to look after a difficult patient for the sake of the village. Before you ask, I can't tell you either!"

Naoki crossed his arms and huffed. I gently turned him around and ushered him back to bed. "Big Sister, you're not going to go anywhere, are you?"

"Naoki?"

"Like father did…I would rather see you late at night eating cold Yakitori than not at all. Sometimes I have nightmares that you and mother are going to disappear."

"Don't be silly, I'm not going to disappear. What happened to father was a tragic thing. There was always a risk in his line of work. You know that."

Tears began to appear in his eyes and I hugged him tightly.

"Nightmares aren't real. You're the man of the house now; mother and I really need you to look after us. You have to carry the Katashi name with honor and pride, even if you feel afraid. Do you understand?"

Naoki nodded reluctant to leave the warmth of my embrace.

"You need to try and sleep now." I whispered soothingly. "The only thing that is going to disappear are those nightmares by the morning sun – you'll see."

In my own heart I wished it were true.


	4. Hidden Strengths

"New day, new beginning": that was the best way to interpret things, I decided firmly. I smoothed my nurse cap into place and secured it with pins; my white uniform was neatly pressed, belt buckle shining and shoes pristine. If anything did go wrong today, at least it wouldn't be because my presentation was poor.

Matron Shun found me early and gleefully explained my new hours: both day and night shifts for the next two days. It didn't bother me; I was prepared, and no matter what happened, I was _not_ going to give in.

Keeping a sharp eye out for Takumi, I gathered a variety of foods from the breakfast trolley and carried the tray towards the isolation ward.

"Oh, hey, Yasu, how are things going? I heard you weren't feeling too good yesterday." Another nurse smiled. I recognised him and smiled back- he was one of Takumi's friends.

"Erm, a lot better thank you. Have you seen Takumi around, by any chance? He doesn't seem to be anywhere!"

"Well, I did see him a while ago. He was acting pretty strange, to be honest… carrying one of those new-fangled vacuum thingies the Third Hokage gave to the hospital to tidy up the gardens. I asked him where he was off to, but he didn't stop."

"Which way was he going?" I asked urgently. The male nurse shrugged his shoulders and then pointed further down the corridor, the direction of Gaara's room. I gulped.

"I'll find him for you. He's probably been told to clean some smashed glass or something like that. Thanks for your help!" As I turned away and ran down the hall, I knew that Takumi might be trying to do something very chivalrous but incredibly stupid. I could already hear loud cries and shouting from behind the closed doors. In panic, I turned the door handle and stood in the entrance, aghast, greeted by a disturbing scene.

Takumi was trying to use the vacuum to suck up all the sand around him. His face was animated with a terrifying smirk, the pale light casting sinister shadows across his usually kindly face. As I listened more closely I realised he was belittling Gaara and spitting at him with menace.

"If I take your sand away," he yelled loudly, "then you can't punch anymore vulnerable ladies, can you? Can you?! Talk to me, you pathetic little freak! You think your kind are so _special_, don't you? Without this crap, you're nothing! Where are your ninja comrades now? Even _they_ can't put the effort in to rescue their failure."

I placed the tray of food onto the table, unable to believe my ears. In the year that I'd known him, I had never heard Takumi talk to anyone like that.

The Sand ninja was hunched on all fours as rasping breaths escaped his lips, becoming more and more desperate. His whole body was shaking, eyes bulging out their sockets. The whites of his eyes became blood shot and diluted with pink specks.

"TAKUMI! What are you doing? Stop that immediately!" I stood in front of my dearest friend, carrying whatever professional air I could muster, and snatched the device from his hand. As the whirl of the engine died, I knelt down and unscrewed the clasp linking the small drum to the strange contraption. I tipped the sand slowly back onto the floor, stood up, and opened the door for my older colleague. "You better leave." My voice sounded like a snarl. I was surprised at myself, realising it was shame I felt for my friend, not anger.

"What?" Takumi gaped at me in shock. "He tried to kill you yesterday, and now you're…you're protecting him?" He was part of an invasion force that tried to burn down our home! Don't you remember that?!"

"Just go Takumi…please. Let me do my job." My voice threatened to break.

Takumi's face twisted up--at any moment, I thought he might start yelling again. I could feel the muscles in my arms and shoulders tensing in preparation.

"If you do not leave this room immediately, _nurse_, I _will_ call security." Takumi laughed at me and spat on the floor.

"You go ahead and call for security! They can take that fiend away with them while they're at it."

"The only monstrous thing here, _Takumi_, is your cruel words. What happened to 'do no harm'?"

The longer we stood there, the louder and louder the growling became. I wasn't sure what was happening behind me; I was too afraid to leave my patient with Takumi, and too terrified to turn around and face the noise. I bit my lip and insisted that the nurse leave once more. Again, another barrage of verbal abuse directed towards Gaara… this was getting us nowhere. I hadn't expected Takumi was capable of holding such a venomous grudge against the Sand village--it just didn't seem real.

Suddenly, I was smacked hard against the wall, a bolt of pain shot through my entire body. I heard a voice, hungry, rasping, completely inhuman. There was a gale of movement as something crushed into Takumi and pulled the door off its hinges. The male nurse was still cursing and screaming at whatever was coming towards him, but my vision blurred, I couldn't make out what it was.

Stumbling, I fell to my knees and inched towards the alarm, and, weakly fumbling with the catch, I slammed my palm onto the bright red button. A haunting siren rang out, its shrill wailing echoing in my ears, making them throb in agony. However, the alarm cleared my head and I was able to focus the double images ahead of me into a single picture.

I saw Takumi pinned against the wall by a gigantic yellow claw. Connected to the claw was a deformed, muscular arm scrawled with dark blue swirls and strange symbols. My breath caught in my throat; the creature was moving towards him, growling and hissing. Where in Konoha had it come from?

Looking closer still, I knew that my observation was in error. This wasn't a monster. The large arm was attached to a smaller body with clothes that were very familiar. Between the shoulder joint of the human and the 'thing' was a white scarf with drops of crimson blood – Gaara. I didn't want to believe it, but there he was, his flame red hair dancing with energy, pulsing back and forth as an immense amount of power crackled around him; Father had referred to this power as chakra. This chakra was getting steadily stronger.

Naruto had mentioned that there was a sand spirit inside the boy. Had Takumi angered him so much that Shukaku was being released? As much as I understood why Gaara wanted to kill the Leaf nurse who had sworn and insulted his country, I couldn't let that happen. I wanted to stop the noise and all the burning hatred that I could feel between the two males. Takumi's dagger eyes bore into Gaara's. His fists were clenched, teeth gnashed in fury. These could be his final moments, but all he cared about was killing the sand ninja. He didn't think of his promising career or even his family or friends. The things that kept him grounded had been wiped from his mind, replaced with the lust for revenge.

Something inside me snapped. I didn't know how, and I didn't know why, but as my hands moved and my body charged between the two rivals, I knew it felt right.

I called out and then all went black.

I waited for what seemed like hours in Matron Shun's large office. There was a strange array of coloured glass bottles dotted about the room, and in the corner, a skeleton model hid, caked with dust. A photograph of two Shih Tsu dogs with wrinkled faces and saliva-laden tongues rested with pride on the bookcase. Inside the heavy bookcase were manuals of various sizes, as well as textbooks relating to medicine. A shiny gold plague was fixed onto the central mahogany desk, and on top of the desk stood a gleaming decanter of vile brown liquid, a half-finished sudoku puzzle, and plate of dango. The desk was littered with scrolls, all signed in crow black ink.

On the coat rack behind the desk, several green aprons hung up side by side. Finally, next to these was the staff rota, containing countless corrections and crossed out lines scribbled in green ink. There was one name, I noted, that was always circled and underlined in red ink. Curious, I leaned forward and discovered my own name causing the red eyesore within the sea of green.

"Well, I _hope_ you've enjoyed the chaos you've caused in my hospital!" Shun burst into the office, catching me off guard. There was no point denying it, I supposed, so I crossed my arms and stepped away from the table.

"You, _You!_" she hissed, seething. I was sure there was steam escaping from her ears. Matron Shun was furious, and had every right to be. She made a sharp turn towards the decanter and poured herself a large measure, then downed it in one greedy gulp, slamming the glass roughly back onto the desk. Every time she would open her mouth to say something, she changed her mind and closed it again.

Eventually, she took a seat and clasped her hands together, almost in meditation.

"Can you explain," she began carefully, "why there is an oak tree planted in the middle of the corridor between the isolation and children wards, Miss Katashi?"

It was my turn to be speechless--I simply did not have a clue. No sensible answer came to mind that could explain the unusual occurrence.

"I don't know, Matron Shun," the reply was very quiet.

" '_I don't know, Matron Shun'_," she mimicked with a sadistic glare. "How do I explain this to the patients and staff of this hospital? You performed a Mokuton jutsu right in front of them!"

"I didn't know what I was doing. Takumi and the patient were about to kill each other and I felt compelled to stop them. I can't explain it, only that it happened. Matron, I need to know, did I actually see Gaara transform into a monster?"

"That, nurse Katashi, is none of your business. If you cannot give me an explanation for the tree, I'll have to accept it – for now. Hear me, though, _slacker_, the village elders will want to know more about that chakra you released, and they won't be impressed with selective memory loss. We do not, and have _never_ trained nurses to use such a jutsu, and yet you come along and perform the impossible."

"I don't understand…"

"No, you wouldn't." Matron narrowed her eyes as she spoke. "The last ninja who was able to perform Mokuton jutsu was the First Hokage, way, way back when the foundations for Konoha village were laid. He was able to combine earth and water styles in order to create wood from anything. He's been dead for years, and with him his bloodline and the jutsu. So how, exactly, are _you_ able to create an oak tree out of thin air?"

I stood, still unable to provide an answer.

"This is a waste of my time. Nurse Katashi, you are to continue with your assigned duties. Think about what I have said…"

"You still want me to look after Gaara?" I exclaimed. "After what just happened?"

"If I'm going to clean up your mess, then you better get back to work."

"You cannot be serious! What about Takumi?" I strongly protested.

The elder stood up from her desk sharply and barked. "Don't make me throw you out of this office – MOVE!"

Having little choice, I retreated from the room with Shun's insane order carved into my mind. I wondered what lay behind the isolation ward door now.


	5. Haiku

**Lady Leaf **

**Chapter 5 **

My heart thumped painfully as I dragged myself back to Gaara's room. How Matron Shun could expect me to skip back to work, knowing full well the dangers, was beyond me. Typical of adults, hiding behind a desk and forcing others to do their dirty work.

Why was she so angry about the tree, anyway? Wasn't what happened to Takumi more important? When did he go off the rails like that? How are things able to change so quickly in such a short space of time? I scolded myself. There was no point trying to justify why things went wrong in the world… they just did. There was no need to ask questions and think deeply - it was simply life, wasn't it?

The oak tree stood proud and tall, having made a large hole in the hospital ceiling. I knew that, at some point, I would have to mend the roof before heavy rains came, but they were not due tonight. It was a beautiful sight; the trunk bumpy and wrinkled, covered with soft green moss. Thick, dark green leaves poked through the gap above my head. Hanging from the thinner branches, I could make out the shiny brown acorns swaying in the wind.

Side-stepping the tree, I knocked loudly on the wall beside where Gaara's door _used_ to be, and stepped inside. The tray of food I had brought previously was upside down on the floor beside the bedside table, which was smashed in half. Sand was still scattered around the floor. Several of the blinds were hanging precariously whilst others had been torn down. The bed was empty, I noted, and more of the white sheets had been ripped to tatters.

Gaara was crouched in the corner, trying once again to change the bandage on his arm, having resumed human form. Relieved, I moved towards him, but the eyes flashed back with menace. Two dangerous and glowing sea green orbs framed with black strongly reminded me of a raccoon. The shy and nocturnal creatures rarely ventured into town away from the safety of the forest. Here was a wounded animal backed into a corner, ready to fight.

Slowly, I moved away and began to tidy the room, listening to the frustrated growls and sharp intake of breath. It was obvious Gaara was in pain. The extra strain on his weak arm had taken its toll; no doubt the shreds of skin that had managed to seal over the clotted blood had reopened. However, there was no point in forcing the issue for someone as stubborn as him.

The blinds clicked back into place, but I only opened the half on my side, leaving the boy in shadow. I wiped up the spoilt food, and after some hunting, replaced the broken table. I changed the bed sheets and left the other strips of cloth within Gaara's reach, should he choose to use them. All the while, I felt distrustful eyes boring into my back.

Satisfied that all was back in order, I took a small notepad from my pocket and settled down to write. After an hour or so, Gaara's glares had lost their heat and became bewildered.

"Are there no other patients in this hospital?" he asked mockingly.

"You are my one and only patient," I replied cheerfully. "As I said before, if you need anything let me know. Otherwise I'll just continue to sit here."

So we spent the entire afternoon in silence. He, trying in vain to replace the bandage, and I, reading and writing haiku. We didn't mention the tree outside nor what Gaara had become only hours before.

I studied my first haiku_: _

_patient angel reads_

_still the redhead crouches low_

_we sit in silence_

I laughed out loud, forgetting where I was for a moment.

"You find my pain amusing?" Gaara accused sharply.

"No, I'm writing haiku to pass the time, that's all. Will you allow me to clean your wound properly?" I countered. He narrowed his eyes and turned away. I sighed softly and returned to the haiku. My second attempt I felt was more apt:

_Ninja from Suna_

_proud and stubborn born in pain_

_one with grains of sand. _

Time passed on; it was now evening and the beginning of the night shift. I closed the blinds and lit the room via the dim side-lights, which gave enough to see by but kept the room reasonably dull. Gaara still hadn't moved from his spot in the corner.

"Excuse me," I said politely. "Are you hungry, Gaara? There is some fresh chicken broth in the kitchen if you would like me to fetch some." Half of me expected no response, but I continued. "If your body has had no nourishment, it can't heal itself properly. Did you know the best time for your body to recover is when you're fast asleep?"

"I never sleep," Gaara stated flatly.

Surprised, I crossed my arms, surveying his features in the light; he looked deadly serious.

"Do you suffer from insomnia? I can give you a herbal remedy for lack of sleep."

There was a brief moment when the corners of Gaara's mouth raised into what resembled a weak smile… then it was gone.

"You won't stop, will you?" He drew out the words in a long rasping sigh. "Just like him…people from the Leaf village annoy me with their persistence. You should learn to leave things as they are."

I watched the sand ninja stand gracefully and settle back onto the bed. He tore the strip of cloth from his arm and pulled down the material of his shredded sleeve.

"Are you letting me wash it?" I tried to confirm, quite unsure what such gestures meant. He pulled the sleeve down harder, ripping it until his whole arm and shoulder were visible. His skin was even paler on his arms than on his face. His arm was very thin, with little muscle. Unlike other ninja, who physically trained their bodies to increase their strength, Gaara seemed as fragile as a china doll. I was shocked at how small he seemed with flesh exposed. This morning, he'd been so powerful and frightening--the contrast was amazing.

I pulled the material a little further away, feeling as he tensed suspiciously. Every minor touch made him flinch violently, but he breathed deeply through his nose, forcing calm. The sand was rustling slightly, unhappy with the intrusion of Gaara's personal space. He gazed at the sand, frowning.

Gently, I removed blood sodden strips of cloth and saw the full extent of the damage. There was a lot of swelling on the skin to either side; it had begun to blister. Inside the wound was a mixture of deep red clotted blood and fresher, lighter blood that trickled sluggishly. A sticky green ooze coated the left side of the tear; it was already infected. Inside the wound, I found foreign bodies--wood splinters.

I began by reopening the wound and removing the splinters, one by one. Gaara's face grimaced with pain; his teeth clashed together and his cheeks tightened. After, I drained the excess fluid and gave him an injection of antibiotics. As I wiped away the dark red blood, his whole shoulder was shaking. His left hand seemed desperate to grab his shoulder and jerk away, but he restrained himself.

"I'm sorry if this hurts, it won't last long," I tried to reassure him.

"You talked of haiku," he hissed. "What is it?"

"It's a form of poetry. You take words, usually relating to nature, and write down three lines. The first has five syllables, the second seven and the third, five again. I used to have competitions with my father to see who could write the best one. Right, all that's left is the stitches and a final bandage. Do you want to take a rest?"

"Finish everything." Gaara commanded. The tone suggested that he was not in the mood to wait, nor did he want to go through anything like this again.

By the end of the process, there was a startling collection of dirty swabs, compress pads and antiseptic wipes in the rubbish bag. I washed my hands thoroughly and applied the dressing. As I wound the bandage slowly around the damaged limb, Gaara relaxed, sensing that the worst was over. It had taken over forty-eight hours to convince him, but at least the arm had a better chance of healing without permanent damage.

As I sat back in the chair, I smiled at the patient. "How does it feel now?"

Gaara predictably said nothing, simply nodding in my direction. He then lay flat on the bed and stared at the ceiling, just like the very first time I met him.

"It's a shame you can't sleep. Your body would really appreciate some downtime right now."

"If I sleep, you would not be alive in the morning," he replied.

The statement was so matter of fact that it chilled me to the bone, even after the small breakthrough. There was nothing simple about Gaara.


	6. Acer palmatum Bloodgood

**Lady leaf **

**Chapter 6 **

It was no good. No matter how much I tossed and turned, or how many times I flipped the pillow over, I still could not sleep. My brain was buzzing with activity, thinking about the events of the day. The number of questions threatening to overwhelm my mind was ridiculous, but I refused to indulge them. Only by focusing on the day ahead and willing myself to catch forty winks would I keep my sanity.

The hospital bed did not offer any comfort. It creaked relentlessly no matter if I rolled over or coughed. The itchy sheets scratched against my skin, so I kicked them from me, feeling the coolness of the air reach my feet. The sheets twisted around my legs as, in annoyance, I tried to get comfortable. There was something about the material that made me sneeze wildly. In the end, frustrated with my runny nose, I had taken to stuffing several rounds of tissue up my nostrils. Only then did I receive some relief, despite looking like a miniature elephant with tusks.

I had no idea what time it was, but the staff dormitory was empty apart from myself. Defeated, I sat up in bed and took out my note pad. My eyes felt heavy around the lids, squinting against the hazy light of the lamp. As the beam shone on the page, I began to think about writing a diary entry. Perhaps if I wrote enough diary entries, I would become bored and fall asleep! At home, it would be easy to make a warm milky drink and sit outside watching the stars. There was something about a contented stomach and the chilly night air that made me feel sleepy.

Very rarely did I find it difficult to sleep. I loved to sleep and lie in bed, daydreaming of all the things that I never got to do, things like going to the cinema, shopping and travelling. At times like this, the power Mother held over my life was very clear and a familiar resentment would started to bubble in my gut. One day, I would have to pack a bag and go trekking to the next town, just to see what life is like there. I'd take Naoki with me and we could camp in the forest, perhaps just like I promised.

I re-read the haiku I had created early that day and gasped. Just below my final haiku there was some more writing. My finger traced along the lines and came away with glittering grains of sand on their tips.

There were three lines – another haiku;

_Monster from my birth_

_blood lust within to survive_

_detested by all._

I read the words again, taking them in, and realised they must have been written by Gaara. When he had asked what a haiku was, I assumed it was to take his mind off the pain. My hands were frozen to the page. How anyone could believe that they were detested by every soul in the world made my heart sink. What people could possibly allow a sand spirit to be sealed inside a child's body?

There was a crash. In haste, I threw on my dressing gown and tied the belt. Cautiously, I kept my back to the wall and followed it down the corridor where the sound had come from. As I poked my head around the corner, my eyebrows rose with surprise. There were a number of buckets, mops and brushes strewn about the floor. Whoever had been here was now gone.

The next morning, Gaara was particularly grumpy and refused to speak at all. I left him some breakfast of toast and orange juice, but it was neglected. He did allow a change of bandage, although he was not nearly as patient or calm as last time. I winced as the sand came dangerously close to striking me. However, Gaara always regained his composure just in time.

"What _is_ the matter?" I finally asked him outright.

Gaara frowned all the more. "Something was taken from me. I sense it in the hospital."

"Really, what was taken from you?"

"It is none of your concern," he warned.

"I know. Tell me anyway. I might be able to help," I smirked at him. The ninja looked confused, unsure of how to respond to such a reply. I wondered if anyone had offered him a helping hand before, or whether he struggled alone solving all his own problems. His eyes flickered restlessly, toying with the idea.

"The Sand village ninja infiltrated your village, prepared to kill every last man, woman and child. They wanted to destroy every trace of life in Konoha. They wanted to turn this place into a wasteland to serve as a warning to others. I was crucial to the mission by performing a transformation jutsu. My intent was to harm and cause bloodshed." His voice betrayed no emotion, only drawn out words stating them clearly as facts. He paused, searching for something within my face.

"Did you not hear what I said? I was prepared to _slaughter thousands of lives_ without remorse. The clans of the Konohagakure were to be wiped out. Why do you show no anger towards me?"

"Well, you didn't go through with it, did you?" I replied briskly. "We lost many good people, but it was Orochimaru, one of our own, that caused the most loss of life. He was brought up here, one of the legendary Sannin. He was meant to be our protector, someone to look up to and admire. Now…he's like a curse.

"Maybe I should feel anger, but you never chose to become what you are. Orochimaru actively sought the power for destruction and death. He knew the names of many people in the village and lived side by side with them for so long. It's easy to attack strangers-- they're like shadows, they have no features—but it's quite another to kill friends and comrades, to recall their history, the spirit within them and the loyalty they have shown over the years to this place… to know all that and yet still attack is pure evil.

"Maybe you felt part of it all, the killing and murder, but the fact remains: you never killed a single Konoha citizen."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because you were fighting Naruto Uzumaki."

Gaara's breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened. It was obvious the mention of Naruto's name had stirred up some undesired response. His lips drew together and he clenched and unclenched his right fist.

"From the sounds of it, that fight was very intense, but you both came out alive.

Uzumaki said that he wanted you to get well so he could fight you again. I don't think that means he detests you, Gaara." He looked up. "I thought the haiku was pretty good, actually, although I was a bit surprised to find it."

"In battle," he changed the subject rather abruptly. "I carry sand infused with the blood of my enemies and chakra inside a gourd. When I awoke in this room, the gourd had been taken and placed somewhere within the hospital."

"You've been looking for it, haven't you?" It hadn't meant to sound like a challenge, but the thought of Gaara wandering around the hospital at night worried me. "The mess that I found last night… it was you!"

"Is it custom for Konoha ninja to wear white tissue protruding from their noses at night?" He spoke with a cruel slur of a smile painted on his face. I blushed, slightly embarrassed at the thought of being seen in such a state.

"Why don't you draw what the gourd looks like?" I suggested, trying to avoid more awkward questions by distracting him with something else. With paper and pencil in hand, Gaara shrugged and began to sketch an image of the gourd. He had some talent, I noticed. His fingers held the pencil carefully and he built the gourd, at first using simple shapes and then layering more intricate details.

The gourd was the shape of a large calabash vegetable with a small cork stopping the contents from spilling out at the opening. It was cracked in places and tied around the centre was some material (crimson red, Gaara explained.) There were symbols painted on both sides that looked like inverted capital E's. Gaara finished with a small flourish of shadow using cross-hatching and then handed the paper back.

"So, there's sand inside the gourd? The only reason I can think of why it might have been removed is because it's a potential weapon. The hospital policy forbids patients and staff to carry weapons on their person. If that's the case, you might not be able to have it back until you leave the hospital. Still, I'll see what I can find." I ripped the page out carefully and left the pad and pencil on the bedside table, Gaara staring at them dumbly as I left the room.

My search for the gourd had so far come to a dead end. There was no record that Gaara had been admitted to the hospital with any possessions, nor that they had been taken away for security reasons. Matron Shun was less than helpful, as expected, and told me to stop chasing phantom objects. According to her, there had never been a gourd of that shape sitting around the hospital. She wasn't lying, either. I knew when Shun was stretching the truth, if the number of creative excuses for why I couldn't have a day off were anything to go by.

In lost and found, I had identified twenty-seven headbands (sweaty), threes pair of false teeth (dirty), one fake eyeball (green iris) and no calabash gourd. Shelves piled high with clothing, jewellery and books were intriguing to look at, but I forced myself to remain on task.

As I walked around the hospital with more than a fair share of funny looks, I checked the potted plants to make sure no one had used the gourd as a pot by mistake. The thought of sunny daffodils poking out the top of the gourd made me smile. Alas, all the plants and flowers were in proper order, with appropriate containers.

I decided to try and hunt for the gourd in the hospital gardens. It would be pleasant to have a wander amongst the beautiful flora and fauna for a while. The gardens were kept in top condition by the elderly hospital gardener – Mr Teien. He loved the evergreen plants that gave the garden permanence of life. In a clashing collage, he had chosen irises, tree peonies and maples to inject colour within the bed of green. The irises flowered proudly with a spectrum of magenta, han purple, lighter violets and pink tones of orchid. I admired the openness and delicate shapes of the tree peonies, with their elegant heads plundered by buzzing insects.

I stood before a particularly sturdy maple in the centre of the garden, at least three metres tall. The foliage was striking red, demanding attention.

"_Acer palmatum_ Bloodgood," a voice quoted behind me. "Hello there, Yasu. Haven't seen you in a while." I nodded smiling. "Soon, there'll be seeds growing on that maple, ready to fly away in the summer winds. Taken its time, though. There was a moment when I thought the damn thing was going to die on me. I had to help the bugger through the winter. Now, it's standing there, bolder than anything else in the whole garden, puts the rest of the plants to shame."

"Mr. Teien, this garden is breathtaking, as always! How can you say one flower is more beautiful than another?"

"He's right though." Another voice joined the discussion. I turned sharply. By the pond, resting on the bench, was Takumi. He removed his glasses to polish them. "By helping the maple, he has stopped the other plants from growing properly. The maple is taking over the garden."

"In the summer, though, the maple will be scorched by the sun and provide shade for the other plants. Fair exchange, wouldn't you say?"

"Ha ha, quite the heated discussion over a plant," Mr Teien chuckled softly and grinned. "I might make a pair of gardeners out of you yet! Anyhow, best be getting on. See you again, Yasu."

I watched the gardener slowly go, then sat next to Takumi. He seemed much calmer now, his arm hanging in a sling and a crutch leaning against the bench. I didn't know where to begin.

"How are you feeling?" I asked finally, gazing into the pond. There were flashes of gold and silver as the fish flicked their tails and swam from one end to the other.

"I'll live," he said shortly. "My leg is broken and I've pulled several tendons in my arm, so…I won't be on duty for a while." My throat tightened at this news. I knew how much he loved his job and how hard he worked.

"Takumi, I'm sorry." I offered, guilt pulling at my heart.

"What for? It wasn't you that did this to me," he grumbled. "There's nothing to forgive."

"So, we're still friends?" I asked him hopefully.

"Of course," he grinned, shrugging off the question.

"Oh, that's a relief…" I exhaled deeply. "You look really scary when you're angry."

Takumi laughed out loud. "Not as scary as you!" The playful lightness had returned to his voice now and he genuinely seemed happy to see me. I felt relieved that there would be no awkward silences between us. "You know, that tree you made has caused mayhem in the village. Some of the elders think you've been possessed by the First Hokage's spirit!"

"You're joking…" I said with heavy scepticism. Matron Shun had told me about the apparent 'miracle' I had performed. "I still have no idea how I managed to do it. I thought Matron Shun was making a big deal out of it because she was so mad at me."

"Yasu, it was awesome!" Takumi beamed. "You'll have to teach me how to do it."

"Oh, Takumi, I need to ask you something." My memory had been jolted and Takumi knew about these things. "When Gaara came to the hospital, did he have a gourd that looked something like this?" I pulled out the piece of paper from my pocket and placed it into his hand.

Studying the paper, he shook his head.

"So, you haven't seen the gourd?" Takumi was still shaking his head. Without warning, he tore at the picture, ripping it violently into small pieces. Alarmed, I stood up and jumped away from him.

"After what happened to me, you're still treating that rotten excuse for a human being?" He was hurt, his eyes glazing over with tears. I reached out for him but he smacked my hand away.

"Takumi?"

"Keep away from me!" He fought to keep control of himself. "_You'll_ have to leave. I can't storm away at the moment because my leg is _broken_. That monster has ruined _everything_ for me and you don't even care! Just get out of here!"

He wouldn't be persuaded by any pleas and began throwing the shreds of paper into the garden pond. Regretfully and unable to make amends, I turned on my heel and ran back inside the building.


	7. People Watching

**Author note - **Many thanks to Kendansa once more! Cheers x

**Chapter Seven - **People Watching

I was furious, both at myself and Takumi. It didn't seem fair that he didn't take any responsibility for his actions. When Takumi had walked into that room with a vacuum, he knew exactly what he was doing. His intentions had been as clear as the insane smirk on his face: he wanted to provoke a fight, and that was exactly what he got. How could he complain when things didn't go his way?! Did he seriously expect me to just stand there and accept the situation, or was he mad because he expected loyalty above everything else in our friendship? It was beyond wrong, it was… sick.

"Oww!" I screamed as the hammer made contact with my finger for the fourth time. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. There was swelling in my chest and my throat felt very tight. "Don't you bloody dare," I growled, smacking my arm sharply. There was no point blaming myself for everything that went wrong. Takumi was a man, immature, but nevertheless an adult who could make his own decisions. I was fifteen…

"OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!" I roared, casting the hammer away from me with such violent force that it slid across the wooden planks and fell down the gap that I hadn't boarded up yet. In horror, I crawled across the scaffolding and peeped down the hole. Gaara glared back up at me, holding the small silver hammer.

"Have you lost something?" he asked. What would have been his right eyebrow was raised slightly, but I couldn't tell whether this suggested annoyance or amusement. I wondered for a moment why it was always so hard to read Gaara's expressions.

_He doesn't have any eyebrows,_ I realized. At that point I remembered that Gaara was still holding the tool, waiting for a response. "Yes! Yes, I'm sorry to make so much noise. It didn't hit you or anything, did it?" He shook his head slowly.

"I'll be with you in a minute. Just give me a chance to get down the ladder – oh!" I jumped a little as Gaara collected some sand and passed his hand over it. Within seconds it formed a cloud which floated upwards and returned the hammer to me. Speechless, I took the tool from the cloud and smiled. "Thank you. That was very kind."

"You do not usually…lose things," Gaara observed, crossing his arms.

"Oh, well, I suppose that's true enough" I laughed. "No harm done. The hammer is back where it should be."

"I was not referring to the tool," he replied, and with that, swung back into his room.

I spent the rest of the afternoon fixing the hospital roof. By the time I was finished, my thumbs and fingers were red and raw. I slapped some green gunk Matron Shun had given me for water proofing purposes onto the roof. It stank. Why the Matron had to use such vile ingredients to create a sealant, I had no idea. She had given stern instructions to let the green paste harden in the sun for at least one hour, so I sat down and gently slipped the paint brush back into the pot of slime. This would be a great opportunity to look out over the village from a unique viewpoint.

Konoha Hospital was located near both the Ninja Academy and the Hokage's Official Residence. The Ninja Academy had been expanded many times over the years, its builders adding new rooms and training facilities for students. Further to the left was the Hokage's Residence with the proud and majestic backdrop of Hokage Rock. This place was not only home to the Hokage, but also housed the most dangerous forbidden jutsu scrolls, containing techniques that no ninja should attempt to use due to their powerful and unpredictable nature. At least, this was what Takumi had always told me.

As I was growing up, Mother took great pains to explain how important the Shinobi are to the village, how ordinary citizens relied upon the strength of its armed forces to protect them and to help the economy prosper. In some way, she seemed to feel that by telling me this, it would make the frequent separations from father less difficult. If he went away, there was always a _very_ good reason, and we, his family, should support him as much as possible.

Towards the South was Kikyo Castle in the distance, its twin carp statues' tails suspended high into the air. The wide road leading back towards the hospital had many different types of shops, stalls, and entertainment for the villagers. There was the movie theatre, Yamanaka Flowers, Tea Avenue, Shushuya (a Chinese restaurant,) Amaguriama's sweet shop, and Ichiraku Ramen, amongst others. Everyone was busy scurrying from one place to another.

One fateful summer two years ago, I remembered sitting next to Naoki, 'people watching' on a balcony above the same busy street. We were staying with one of mother's friends because she had to go away. Naoki was staring, wide eyed, at another young boy just below, leaning precariously close to the edge.

"Naoki, be careful!" I'd warned.

"Wait - just you watch!" he said, ignoring me. It took another five minutes, but eventually the young boy looked up directly at Naoki with such confusion that my brother burst into fits of laughter. The boy waved gingerly, unsure whether Naoki was friend or foe. With delight Naoki waved back and smiled broadly.

"What on earth did you do that for?" I asked him.

"It doesn't matter where you are," he explained with glee. "If you spy on someone for a certain length of time, they eventually _know_ they're being watched. They can sense where you are and find you – isn't that cool?" My brother's eyes were shining with excitement. To him, it was as if he had made the most important discovery in the world.

"Well, I think it's rather rude. One day, someone might take real offense at what you're doing, climb up here, and smack you on the nose!"

"Spoilsport…" He stuck his tongue out playfully, then promptly continued to search for another victim.

The memory stung. I remembered _that_ Naoki so well. He was always up to tricks and adventures, seeking out new friends. When father died, he became this fragile, terrified individual that I had to protect all the time. Mother's fussing and pressure didn't make him any more calm or secure. He retreated more and more into the house, never venturing out. Slowly but surely, he shunned all his friends until they didn't call anymore, leaving him completely isolated. Now, his only company was himself and the family.

At first, Naoki's former friends pestered me for information. Why had Naoki abandoned them? Had they done anything to upset him? I, too, struggled to come to terms with the death of my father and couldn't think of the right words to say. One by one, they began to turn against us; the sudden rejection had made them all bitter. To make matters worse, one simple-minded youth chipped in that he felt Naoki was avoiding them because he thought that he was above being their friend. That was it, the whole group of youths then turned against me, as well.

"Hey, Yasu! How's that hermit brother of yours?" They would shout in the street.

"Shut up!" I always growled back.

Mother had stubbornly determined that there was nothing wrong with Naoki. If the boy wanted to stay close to his family, then so be it –more young people in the world should show such devotion. When I tried to reason that it was strange for Naoki to be behaving this way, she countered that, unlike myself, my brother was demonstrating true bereavement, and because I was trying to continue my daily life as though nothing had happened, I obviously did not share the pain felt by the rest of the family--as if this 'open book' had any chance of hiding its feelings!

"Hmm, I wonder what's in the delivery today…" To my right, one of the hospital staff in dusty grey overalls had opened up the back door of the storage facility. They took a hand trolley and began unloading bulky objects onto a flat table truck to be taken inside. After that, they began heaving broken equipment, such as wheel chairs and trolleys, onto a much larger cart, this one pulled by a buckskin horse. It was common for broken equipment to be recycled or sent to the metalworks for repairs. The whole process took less than twenty minutes and the horse was about to pull away when it was stopped.

I moved a little closer towards the edge of the roof out of curiosity. The workman went back inside the building and for a moment, nothing else happened. Finally, when I was about to stand up, another figure appeared – a nurse dressed in a white uniform. I wasn't quite sure who it was, because they were wearing a surgery mask and cap. They also had a hand trolley with a rather large object wrapped in brown paper.

The nurse was pointing at the cart to which the workman, who had followed the other person outside, shook his head. Again, the nurse pointed at the cart and took something out of his or her pocket. On closer inspection, there was a heap of shiny gold coins, which the nurse thrust into the workman's hands. The recipient studied the coins for a while but ultimately handed them back.

In amazement, I watched as a blue flame began to glow on the nurse's hands. There was unsettling feeling in my stomach. The workman had already turned and given a signal to the driver to be on their way. Suddenly, the nurse hit the other man in the back and did nothing as he slumped to the floor.

The driver eyed the nurse suspiciously, but when presented with the same gold coins he had seen earlier, was more than willing to help the other load the object onto the cart. Together, they stood and the nurse removed his or her mask, giving oral instructions to the driver. His accomplice nodded in agreement and leapt back into the seat, pulling the reigns tightly.

As I watched the scene unfold, I froze. When the nurse had removed the mask, I couldn't pull my eyes away from him. I knew that face, and yet it didn't make any sense. The nurse had been fit enough to move such a large object without too much trouble, yet this person should be hobbling around with his arm in a sling! I had to talk to Matron Shun immediately.

Takumi pushed his glasses further up his nose and smirked. I suddenly realised that he was looking directly at me.


	8. Cat and Mouse

**Author note -** Tis now the summer holidays! So, updates should be a little more regular. Hope everyone enjoys their time off - I know I certainly will! ;0)

Allybalybee x

**Chapter Eight -** Cat and Mouse

Takumi beamed and opened his arms out to me. "Well, hey there, Yasu! What are you doing all the way up there?"

"Fixing the roof…" I replied honestly. My voice was wobbly as I swallowed the saliva that had gathered in my throat. The workman was in clear sight, still laying face down on the floor only metres away from Takumi. The horse drawn cart had already begun its journey towards the metal works.

"Takumi, that man... Is he breathing?" I asked gently.

He sniffed and turned the man over with his right foot. The man's face was ghostly white frozen in a half scream, his mouth wide open and dusted with dirt from the floor.

"No." My old friend shrugged his shoulders without a care. "He suffered trauma from two punctured lungs. I penetrated the thin lining inside his chest walls known as the pleura – in case you didn't know. Gas then collected in the pleural cavities, causing them to collapse. His heart tried to compensate by pumping more blood around the body, but, of course, without fresh oxygen, he didn't stand a chance."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He had just admitted to murdering another person! He stood proudly over the body, admiring his handiwork, then grinned back at me once more.

"He didn't do anything to you!" I yelled back with exasperation and more than a little fear.

"Calm down, Yasu. I'll explain everything. There's no need to be frightened."

"No way! What was in that package, Takumi?!" I was already backing away from the edge, trying to regain my balance. He suddenly appeared behind me, and two strong hands pulled my arms sharply backwards. As I tried to spin around, he changed his grip on my arm and wrenched it hard in a painful direction.

"Always sticking your long nose where it's not wanted, aren't you, Yasu?"

"Let go! You're hurting me!" I cried out in alarm. There was burning sensation crawling up my arm and even the slightest movement was agony. I looked back at him in fury, having to tilt my head. He cackled mockingly and yanked off my nurse's cap. Strands of long golden hair flew wild in the breeze.

"What was on the cart that was so important you had to kill someone?!" I growled, trying to think of what it was. Takumi began to pull me towards the higher part of the roof, away from the busy street... and nearer to a farther drop.

"It was pretty big, wasn't it?" I continued to probe, trying to shove back my overwhelming fear. I thought back to the glimpse I'd had of the object, only moments ago--it was large and bulky, and wrapped in brown paper. Why? Perhaps Takumi didn't want it to be recognised by anyone on the way to the metal-works. However, the workman had refused to help him – was it because the object wasn't suitable for recycling?

We had reached the edge. Now, Takumi held me by my uniform collar, dangling half of my body playfully over the edge. If he let go, it would be only a few long seconds before I hit the ground, but I couldn't look down at the empty street below, only at the young man whom I could no longer understand.

"I thought you were my friend…" I choked between desperate breaths. In response, I only received waves of insane laughter. He shook me violently from side to side, my head whipping around like a rag doll. I couldn't take much more of this--I was beginning to feel dizzy, and the lack of oxygen taking its toll as well.

"You still have no idea, do you, _little nurse Yasu_?" he chuckled venomously, but there was something different. The voice was lighter and softer than Takumi's! Takumi had a slight accent when he spoke and his pitch was deeper. The unsettled, suspicious feeling in my stomach increased dramatically. I knew at any moment, 'Takumi' was going to toss me some twenty-five metres to my death. When I tried to thrash out of the vice-like grip, he merely put more pressure onto my already throbbing neck. I remembered that my arms were free; I cuffed him as hard as I could, but it seemed that he was made of iron. No matter what I did, there was no reaction, not even a little redness to show where I'd struck him.

My vision turned to watery greyscale, and the once intense heat radiating from my cheeks began to cool--I was dying. This was not how I had imagined my death; killed by a colleague for reasons beyond my comprehension. It just wasn't fair. My pale face and struggling body were reflected in his deep black eyes.

"What was that, Yasu? I can't hear you through all the blubbering…" he sneered, increasing his grip some more. Violently, I lashed out one more time, this time with both arms and feet in a combined attack. I pushed my body forward, further choking myself, but at least the man had not expected this. As he tried to compensate, I kicked him hard between the legs and fell hard onto the roof, fighting to catch my breath.

"I…said…you are _not_ Takumi!" I repeated, gasping. To confirm my suspicions, I pulled hard on my attacker's hair. It came away in my hand, revealing that his face was actually a mask. Underneath the mask was another young man with coal black eyes, pale skin, glasses, and long grey hair tied in a loose ponytail. He couldn't have been much older than Takumi.

"Where is... the real Takumi?" I demanded, my breath beginning to return.

"Well, I certainly didn't expect this…" he grunted in pain, grinning maliciously. "The boy you call Takumi, I expect, is still dead and buried underground in the grave I so painstakingly dug for him. Shame, really. He was a pretty decent guy, very trusting, always willing to help the Konoha Ninja... It was quite easy to portray him. Still, I'm surprised that, as one of his _closest_ friends, you didn't realise something was wrong much sooner. Guess you've had other things on your mind, huh?"

"Who the devil are you?" I growled, refusing to believe that Takumi was dead.

Beginning to recover, he shifted onto his knees. "I'm someone who works in medicine, same as you. It seems a little discourteous of me not introduce myself on a first name basis, since we've been colleagues for such a _long_ time. Now, Yasu, don't give me such an ugly look, it really doesn't suit you." He pushed his glasses up higher on his face with one finger. "My name is Yakushi Kabuto, and I'm afraid..." he paused, sneering, "that I'm last thing you'll ever see!"

A shockwave rippled through the roof tiles, shattering several and sending the rest flying in all directions with great force. My legs moved of their own accord; I leapt from the roof onto one of the nearby houses. I had barely made the jump and pulled myself onto the ledge when I realised Kabuto was on the hunt. If I stayed here, I'd be as good as dead.

I turned around, a rush of adrenalin pumping through my veins. It carried me as I leapt frantically from roof to roof, never daring to look back, even for a second. My feet slipped and slid on lose tile, casting pieces of the stuff everywhere. The rest crunched underfoot as I scurried faster and faster away from my assailant. Flashes of yellow, coral and blue planks of wood blurred in my vision as I changed direction; left, right, left again. I bounded over metal pipes and gutters. Many of these were sloping downwards, allowing rainwater to drain away from the buildings. The angle made escape very difficult--my ankles began to hurt madly due trying to balance on them. My poor heart thumped and jolted as I pounded along this dangerous racetrack. This was crazy! If Kabuto didn't catch and kill me, then a deadly fall from up here would! I forced myself to keep going, even though stitch shot through my sides.

I took deep, rasping breaths, halting briefly on a flat rooftop surrounded by washing lines, all pegged to bursting with freshly washed clothes. It was unnerving, standing around and surveying the area for even the slightest movement. Just who was this Kabuto, and why did he want to kill me? My legs began to shake so much that I leaned back against a small water tower to rest. The solid, cool metal met my clammy skin. When a nearby yukata flapped in the wind, I bit my lip, straining to see if there was anyone hiding behind it. Nothing.

A minute or so--which felt like a lifetime—passed, and I knew that, sooner or later, I would have to try to get help. With sweat dripping down my forehead, I pushed my golden locks out the way. More than ever, I wished that I had taken a hair band or piece of ribbon to work... but then again, I had never expected to be separated from my cap.

I snatched a glance to my right and ducked as I heard a swishing sound from above. A flurry of shrunken came out of nowhere and embedded themselves into the tower, sending a shower of water into the air. As the clothes became damp, Kabuto sliced through the garments with a nasty-looking knife, with a curved blade and sinister black handle. He walked through the water jet, ignoring the droplets soaking his purple bodysuit. Wrapped around his waist was a loose grey sash. Two metal plates flashed in the sunlight, sewn onto the back of his gloves. His forehead proudly displayed a headband with a single quaver note etched into the steel. This wasn't an ordinary nurse--he was a ninja, a ninja from the new village Takumi had been talking about!

The village of the Sound.

Kabuto continued to hack through the clothes until he was about seven metres away.

"If you keep running," he sighed, "it'll only prolong the inevitable. You _are_ going to die today, so stop fighting it."

"What was in the cart, Kabuto? I want to know," I said slowly, stalling for time. It seemed to be my only option. There was no way that I could outrun a ninja. Moreover, ninja were well known for their tracking skills and often had to pursue targets for missions.

"Oh, but where's the fun in telling you that? Besides you already know. After all, you have been searching _so carefully_ for it." He pouted at my stupidity, crossing his arms.

"The gourd… It _was_ in the hospital! But why couldn't Gaara find it?"

"You can hide pretty much anything as long as you have the right jutsu," he explained rather proudly. So Matron Shun had been telling the truth, after all. Kabuto had stolen the gourd when Gaara was admitted to the hospital and stowed it away until he could transport it elsewhere.

"That's pretty clever," I admitted, hoping to flatter him a little. "What I don't understand, though, is what a ninja would want with someone else's gourd. It's full of nothing but sand, in case you didn't know."

Kabuto laughed long and hard. "Yes, sand, infused with chakra and the blood of a thousand enemies! That gourd has been passed down through that family for generations! Imagine, all the ninja that have been defeated by that sand. Now imagine that every one of those ninja held unique abilities, some of which could even be extinct Kekkei Genkai. My master would be able to extract all of those abilities and become even stronger!"

"You're going to steal ninja skills from people who are already dead? You can't do that! It's impossible! Not to mention immoral… Besides, how would you like someone doing that to you?!"

Kabuto did not seem amused by that last statement and stalked even closer. I could see a drop below me, just to the side of the water tower, nothing at all to break my fall. The knife was raised high, ready to strike, thundering with the momentum of a charging run. Pinned against the tower, I regretted never being able to take Naoki to see the next town.

Too late, too late...


	9. Unexpected First Aid

**Chapter nine – Unexpected First Aid**

"Move!" I heard a familiar shout in my ear as I was pulled away from Kabuto's murderous grasp. The male ninja snarled back at me, his knife sliced into the water tower sending further spray shooting into his eyes. This was enough to stall him a moment but he was coming back! I could see things too closely tucked over the shoulder of my rescuer in a tangled fireman's lift.

"Stop! We need to find the delivery cart!" I protested. "There's something in it that could spell disaster for the whole village!"

"Slacker, you have the most preposterous of priorities!" the high pitched voice ranted sternly.

"Matron Shun?!" I squeaked in disbelief. It was then I spotted folds of emerald green material flapping behind us and sure enough underneath my arm was the same tightly pinned bun that she always wore. I had no idea that a woman her size was capable of running so fast.

There was no slipping and sliding as we galloped along, it was as if she was sprinting on a completely flat road. Her feet stuck to the tilted planks with no trouble at all. A close call with a kunai scratched me back to reality. A trail of something sticky and wet was trickling down my cheek. As I swiped it with the back of my trembling hand there was red residue. It occurred to me that I was unsure which was worse: being assassinated by a rogue ninja or rescued by Matron Shun. Both situations seemed equally ridiculous.

We continued running along the roof tops and after several well timed jumps Shun had brought us a few blocks further down away from the main road.

"Where are we going?" I asked in a panic watching us leave the safety of the crowd behind.

"Foolish girl, I am hardly going to confront this maniac in such a public place! The hospital doesn't need any more casualties…"

"_Confront_ him?" I repeated her words and gulped. "Are you insane?"

Sure, Matron Shun was tough as old boots when it came to giving the doctors a firm ticking off but…this was hardly Doctor Sora! This man had impersonated members of staff and infiltrated the hospital for months. She didn't know he had already killed another person and showed not the slightest bit of remorse. He was dangerous, sadistic and cruel could she really stand against such a ninja?

At that moment I finally caught sight of the cart driver continuously glancing behind, whipping the horse harshly to move faster. I tried to explain to Matron what Gaara's gourd was and how Kabuto's Master was trying to use the gourd to gain Jutsu from the dead.

There was a brief silence as she descended into one the side streets with smaller alleyways branching off either side. We had landed just a few metres behind the cart which was still making steady progress further and further away. Just as I was about to chase after the gourd Shun eyed me carefully.

"On second thoughts… whatever you do," she spoke quietly but the seriousness of her tone was poignant. I winced as she gripped both my shoulders tightly and forced me to look at her. "Keep the gourd out of Kabuto's reach and return it immediately to the Sand Ninja. The treaty between our two villages might depend on it."

"The treaty? We signed another treaty after what just happened!"

"And one more thing Squirt, no matter what - _do not_ come back this way, understand? Go straight to the Hokage Residence and alert elder Utatane. Tell her everything you know."

I nodded firmly trying to show that despite her misgivings about my age, I could still be useful in a crisis. There was a queer strangeness in the way she smiled then, pinching my cheek like Grandmother's do when greeting their grandchildren. We said nothing and she left me, darting in the opposite direction ready to greet Kabuto directly. In turn I renewed my hunt for the gourd with vicious determination. There was no point in dwelling on strange behaviour at a time like this.

Keeping a watchful eye on the driver I tailed the cart and climbed silently into the back compartment. The package was still wrapped up tightly. Tearing at the paper the familiar E symbols and calabash shape were revealed. It was astounding how accurate Gaara's sketch had been – he had captured every crack and line from memory alone. When testing the weight my heart sank it was pretty heavy. Apparently Gaara carried the container on his back wherever he went. I couldn't even begin to imagine the strain on his spine if it was fragile as his arms.

Standing with my legs wide apart I begin to manoeuvre the gourd towards the edge of the cart. I grunted wiggling the precious heirloom from side to side scrapping along the floor. Suddenly everything came to an abrupt halt and I clung to the large object for dear life. The cork popped out with the force, sending a small haze of sand into the air.

I could hear the latch on the backdoor being released and held my breath.

"What the?" the driver gasped with surprise when he saw his unexpected stowaway. In a knee jerk reaction I threw the gourd at him, which he caught and toppled backwards onto the road. My hands flew to my mouth in shock. I had just thrown Gaara's gourd. What if it was broken? The treaty between the Sand and Leaf villages would be in pieces!

I hopped off the now stationery vehicle and gingerly took a look at the driver. My stomach was wrapped in tight knots as I rolled the heavy burden off the man. First I checked that his airway was clear, his breathing steady and pulse strong. Miraculously the gourd was still intact too although sand was still pouring out of it onto the dusty Konoha road. Feeling rather guilty I retrieved the cork and tried to replace it, but no matter how hard I tried to squeeze the stopper back in, it simply would not go.

"There must be a knack to it…" I sucked air through my teeth trying once more in vain.

Defeated I placed it upright and tucked the cork into the breast pocket of my now rather grubby uniform. I dragged the driver's body behind some apple crates and barrels. There was a hand trolley in the cart I noticed and took the opportunity to load the gourd onto it. Although it wasn't easy to move the trolley in a straight line at least I now had a way to reach the Hokage's Residence. Oddly despite the gourd being in an upright position the sand was still rising out of it. It swirled in the faint breeze and blew down the road as I made my journey back towards the central part of town. I thought briefly about Matron Shun and if she really had managed to stop Kabuto.

With the trolley in front I ran as quickly as my tired legs could carry me. There were explosions and loud noises coming from the Southern side with smoke and bright red light illuminating the perimeter wall.

* * *

"Ushi, Tora, Uma, I, Ne Tori!" Matron Shun bellowed. "Fire style: dragon flame Jutsu!" A thin wire shot towards Kabuto wrapping itself around his leg. She tugged hard inhaling quickly followed by a loud exhale with a streak of deadly red flame igniting along the wire. It was so quick that before Kabuto knew what had happened his leg was smoking and burning rapidly.

Kabuto studied his leg for a moment and then smiled slyly. "Is that all you can do, old woman? Alright, I'll play your little game but make no mistake – I'm a lot better at this than you are!" He disappeared, immediately replaced with a single wooden plank that was crumbling to ashes in his place.

"Transformation jutsu," Shun huffed unimpressed. "Child's skill taught at the academy, can't you handle your fights with any honour? I would have expected more from Orochimaru's own right hand man - how pathetic!"

The two fighters flew high in the air and crashed down on one another. Matron Shun was aware that her enemy was skilled in medicine. She never dreamed that Yakushi's own son would have caused such havoc in his own home village. After such an intense investigation to finally flush out the traitor was a relief.

When she had discovered the dead body of Ebisu, one of the hospital's longest serving labourers it had sent alarm bells ringing. Unfortunately for that particular member of staff the luck of his name had ran out prematurely. There had been no cuts, grazes or bruises on the body to give an indication about the cause of death. Therefore Matron knew that a chakra technique had been used which led to irreversible internal damage. There were few that could recognise such a technique and fewer still that would ever consider using it. Shun had suspected that something wasn't right at the hospital for a little while.

It began with small, minor things; more than once Shun had returned to her office to find documents not quite where she remembered placing them. There were power cuts, breakages and hot spices being added to food from the kitchen. Staff rosters had been changed without authorisation and no one was quite sure who was responsible. Shun thought of Yasu, the youngest nurse believing that the child perhaps was playing practical jokes. She watched the girl intently stamping immediately on any perceived inappropriate conduct. As a result Yasu had been placed in taking care of Gaara but then the events continued. Supplies began to disappear from the medicine cabinets despite being under lock and key. Some patients had been given the incorrect dosage of crucial medicine. Others who were on the road to recovery had suffered relapses due to allergic reactions. Shun knew that it couldn't possibly be the girl as she was stuck in the isolation ward.

After the 'Mokuton Incident' her attention had shifted to Takumi. Checking old reports it was not always easy to determine where the nurse had been when these strange events occurred. Trying to keep a close eye on him had been impossible when the attack on the village first began. It was only further down the line when he was spotted talking to other staff about the times of the delivery cart, and paying cash for questions with gold coins that further suspicions were aroused. This was about as much proof as she needed to hand Takumi over to officials for questioning. When the time came to arrest the suspect however, Takumi had disappeared.

When Yasu was no where to be found on the roof just above where the dead body was found, a new problem surfaced. The elder nurse knew that Yasu and the young man were close friends. She had spied on the pair, watched with interest as Takumi ripped a small piece of paper to shreds in the garden. Much to the bewilderment of the young girl, who tried to talk sense into her friend before fleeing back into the main building.

Mr Teien had felt compelled to speak up explaining that conversation between them was now awkward – almost as though they were strangers. The young man who had once showed such an interest in the garden throughout the seasons was evasive and withdrawn. One day he'd told the gardener to mind his own business with such a sharp tongue only to quickly smile and apologise. He blamed his erratic mood swings on his encounter with Gaara suggesting with black humour that the Sand ninja's demon must have possessed him.

"What business do you have trying to take such a young life?" she asked plainly.

"Just curious…you saw for yourself what she did at the hospital. A few cell and blood samples would give me all I need to know. I wouldn't kill her or anything – at least not at _first_." Kabuto smirked checking the sharpness of the small blade by slicing it along his small finger. "Mmm," he murmured licking the blood with his tongue, obviously satisfied. "No one else needs to die you know. Just head back to the hospital and carry on with your work. Surely you have better things to do than protect that weepy, long nosed runt? You never wanted her working for you anyway. If you ask me Matron Shun, I'm doing you a big favour."

"So, I walk away and you get exactly what you want? A tempting offer perhaps, but you're forgetting that I run a very tight ship. To be frank, rats like you who try to gnaw at the insides should be exterminated. No doubt you also remember the patients you've messed around with your sick practical jokes. Should I walk away from them too? Don't be such a naïve little brat. Face the consequences of your actions like a man, Kabuto Yakushi!"

Kabuto pressed his lips together forcing himself to remain silent. It was obvious the old woman wasn't going anywhere and he wasn't happy that she recognised him either. It was hard enough to wake up most mornings trying to remember his role; checking his surroundings before slipping on his mask for the day. Whether he was lying in a soft bed awoken by the twittering of birds in Konoha or listening to the hollow echoes of Orochimaru's hideout deep underground, just for a few moments he needed to re-register who he was. Some might say such shifting roles and personalities would be enough to drive a man mad, Kabuto saw this as an added bonus to the challenging game of his life.

He ran at the old woman throwing several kunai at her chest for good measure. She deflected the projectiles as expected with ease using a hair pin and moved back into a defensive stance. As his right arm began to glow with a pulsing stream of concentrated blue chakra he got ready. He carved the air up between them hacking and slicing at the decreasing distance. Shun spun backwards veering left and then right sliding across the ground. In diagonal lines she kept a safety net of grace away from her opponent's tricky fighting style. When backed against a wall the Matron gasped aware of the error in her judgement. Kabuto was now bearing down on her and she swerved ready to continue running backwards blindly. Just at that second however the ninja made a rude and smoky exit into thin air.

With her legs set in a wide stance for balance the older fighter became confused. Shun felt the gravity of the situation as she was pulled by the ankle towards the muddy earth. It seemed the rat had been making good use of his time setting an underground trap. Matron Shun had never thought that a medically trained ninja could possibly know Earth Style: Underground Move Jutsu. When it came to a fight with Kabuto the reliance on his opponent's underestimation of his skills usually brought his win home.


	10. End Game

**Chapter ten ****- Endgame**

I had to stop, just for a second. Sweat trickled down my neck and I wiped it roughly with my sleeve. The smell was highly unpleasant I couldn't remember ever feeling as grotty and exhausted as of this very moment. There was still a little way to go before reaching my destination. If Matron Shun couldn't stop Kabuto it was a fair bet he'd be on my tail again.

With a deep sigh I regained my grip on the trolley and leaned forwards gaining momentum. Some children pointed and laughed as I pressed on, completely unaware of the dangerous events unfolding around them. As I crossed from another side street back onto the main road I gained more than a few strange looks from the villagers.

"Er, good afternoon, nurse?" one of the shop keepers greeted me whilst scratching his head. I waved back forcing a sweet smile and pushed harder with greater pace. There were whispers and more pointing the nearer I got to the Hokage Residence. Trying to ignore the attention was becoming difficult.

"Do you need a hand with that?" another stall holder asked politely. He was a tailor quite tall and slim in stature holding a large mirror. He stood next to a small cart with beautiful strands of soft silks in a rainbow of colours. "Perhaps afterwards you might want to have a gander at my wares?"

"No, no! It's a new initiative for hospital staff – a training regime to improve overall fitness. The gourd? Oh, it's just the right size and weight for my muscle groups. There's really no need to worry…"

"Sweetheart, there's always a need to worry about _fashion_! Take a look at my mirror – it never lies!" As he thrust the looking glass towards my face it was hard to deny that I looked positively unsightly. My skin was clammy, coated in black patches and sore scratches. Hair unkempt, sticking up as through it had been dragged through a bush. My uniform was torn, creased and missing several buttons!

"I look terrible…"

"Exactly darling, let me fix you right up. Now, I think a peridot green scarf would instantly brighten up those sapphire gem eyes of yours, what do you think?"

"NO! Sorry, I didn't mean to shout." I immediately regretted raising my voice. More villagers turned around to stare. "I have to get back. You might want to pack up for the day it's not safe at the moment…I'll come back tomorrow for the scarf and maybe even a hat!"

"Oh, you are a tease little lady! I'll keep it aside just for you, okay?"

"Yes, fine, right…I have to go." words raced out my mouth in a bumbling breath as I moved away from the cart with a creeping sense of unease. Perhaps it was my imagination going too far I had been under a lot of stress recently. No, I shook my head twice it was _him _walking through the crowds with that same maniac smile and shining glasses. He took his time weaving in and out of the villagers but always his gaze was fixed on one thing. There wasn't a scratch on him and no sign of Matron Shun either.

"Oh, hell…"

"That a friend of yours, sweetie? He's cute!" the tailor cooed.

"He's no friend of mine and not so cute either - believe me!" I turned sharply hoisting the trolley back into position and continued running. There was one place I would be safe and if I managed to get close enough in time perhaps there was a chance a ninja squad could intervene.

"Don't forget to come back tomorrow!" the man cheered behind me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry the stupidity of trying to finalise a sale when there was a murderer chasing me was too absurd. My heartbeat pounded and I could feel the beat of blood pumping. It throbbed in my ears increasingly steadily until I could no longer focus on any other sound. The bustle and life of the market street was drowned out. I felt so tired, running scared, trying to get away from this evil person.

It reminded me of nightmares I used to have; long, rambling dreams where I was being chased by someone or something that I couldn't fully see. It was always a threatening or sinister presence - it didn't make sense to run otherwise. There was a constant sense of exhaustion in the dreams as if all my energy had been taken away. I would stumble and run with all my might but never fast enough. There were times when I felt a force pushing against me making me run in slow motion. My pursuer caught up with me and just when I thought it would end, I would escape either by a miraculous Olympic jump or ducking into a tunnel. The pursuit was endless but I was never caught until finally I would awake the next sunny morning feeling restless and grumpy.

A shockwave howling like a gust of wind knocked me off my feet. I landed squarely on my chest, the pain was excruciating. Panic set in I couldn't actually breathe. It felt like my ribs were shrinking, crushing my lungs tighter and tighter. I couldn't speak, there was wheezing as air tried to escape, squeezing itself out my body. Blinking frantically I tried to clear the tears that disturbed my vision making the buildings and ground blur into wobbly shapes. I knew that at any moment Kabuto was probably going to slice open my throat with his knife and it would all be over. I couldn't let that happen not now, not after everything!

With small sharp breaths I snatched oxygen and began to recover, realising that I had only been winded. Where was the gourd? My body groaned it felt sluggish and weak there was no time to waste. Crawling on hands and knees I frantically searched for the missing object. It was there just a few centimetres ahead. My joints protested and lungs burned but I wrapped my arms around the gourd and propped myself against the nearest wall.

"Well, here we are again little nurse Yasu. Close to safety and yet so very far away, seems almost unfair doesn't it?" Yakushi crouched low beside me resting on his ankles. "I know what you're wondering. Matron Shun is dead, and Yasu, it is _your_ entire fault."

"You're lying!" I choked clinging to the gourd for support.

"Oh, but she is and what's more she'll be working for me now. Have you ever heard of the Shikon No Jutsu, Yasu?" He laughed lightly. "It's a specialist jutsu I've developed with Lord Orochimaru. It allows me to use dead bodies as weapons. You can manipulate them to do pretty much anything your heart desires." He held up a black scroll bound with red ribbon. "I'm saving Matron in this scroll here for a rainy day. Perhaps I could do the same with you," he whispered thoughtfully. "Then again what possible use could I have for a nurse with zero talent and emotional problems?"

"Shut up, you evil bastard!" I instantly felt the sting of a palm striking my right cheek.

"You should show more respect to your elders," Kabuto said heatedly. "There's no need to draw this out. I'll be taking the gourd now, hand it over and I'll make this quick."

"Give me the scroll," I replied bravely blocking easy access to the gourd. Kabuto surveyed me unable to contain his amusement at such resistance. He shook his head in disbelief even laughing a little more at the fallacy of such a situation.

"Such loyalty, how touching… you used to moan about her everyday to me. Groaning on and on about how much you hated the Matron, remember? Now you want to take the scroll and what – give her an honourable burial, is that it?"

"Matron Shun was dedicated to Konoha Hospital. She always cleaned up my mess, no matter what trouble I got into. She came for me. We should honour and respect the dead not desecrate them! I can't let her body be used in such a sick and twisted way."

"I'm not interested in your petty morals. Give the gourd to me!"

"It doesn't belong to you it belongs to the village in the Sand. You have no right!"

"Then you die!" Kabuto roared with deadly finality.

I closed my eyes ready to take the hit and when none came there was even bigger shock. A hardened wall of sand seven metres high had appeared. There were cracks appearing and grains crumbled away from the barrier. I stared at the gourd in wonder when it began to shake and jump violently. There was the sound of steady footsteps crunching nearby, whirling around I was suddenly face to face with Gaara.

"You found the gourd," he stated as a matter of fact. It wasn't exactly the thank you I was looking for but considering who was behind the sand wall I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

When Gaara had appeared there were screams and shouts from the villagers. Windows slammed shut children were scooped into the arms of concerned parents and tucked away indoors. He ignored all this and made sure the gourd was securely fastened to his back. When this task was completed he retreated away from the wall.

I found myself lifted into the air and taken along with him. He clapped both palms together followed by hand signs. Beside me a doppelganger appeared wearing the same clothes as Gaara but made entirely out of sand. It stood stationary arms folded keeping a focused look out around the area. When I tried to move, the twin engaged me, immediately a flat palm stopping inches from my nose.

"I need to get to elder Utatane and explain what the hell is going on!" My babysitter was not interested in any excuse to leave there was no choice but to sit still and watch.

Kabuto was not impressed at the intrusion spitting particles of sand from his mouth in disgust. His once smiling and cocky demeanour had transformed; it was nice to see sweat forming on his brow for a change and even a look of concern. The Sound ninja made no attempt at offence or defence only keeping a safe distance from Gaara trying to think of a plan.

"I'll be taking my leave," Yakushi bowed slightly and began to walk away.

"Sand Coffin!" Gaara thundered raising his voice. He commanded the sand from his gourd to rush towards the target. Kabuto was easily overcome now trapped in a cocoon of sand up to his neck. His head bizarrely was sticking out allowing him to breathe.

"You were the contact during the mission against Konohagakure."

Angry that he had been immobilized the medic spoke in a waspish tone, "That's correct our two villages are _allies_…" He seemed happy to be able to remind the other ninja of this crucial fact.

"You were prepared to kill this nurse to acquire my gourd, why?" Gaara returned betraying no emotion. He glared at his prey struggling with no hope of escape. Kabuto glanced at me nervously licking his lips.

"Lord Orochimaru has need of it. To improve the alliance between our two nations we must combine our resources and jutsu."

"He's lying!" I had to interrupt. Listening to the lies was more than I could bear. "You told me to try and imagine, all the ninja that have been defeated by the sand. Imagine that every one of those ninja held unique abilities, and that _your_ master would be able to extract all of those abilities and become even stronger!"

The red haired boy was deep in thought pondering perhaps who he should believe. He said nothing in reply to my accusations only clenched his fist tightly. Kabuto continued to struggle in vain his cheeks becoming a brighter shade of pink. The lenses in his glasses cracked and shattered sending small shards of glass onto the floor.

"What…are you…doing?" the Sound Ninja croaked and gasped. "Trying to crush me? Lord Orochimaru will know of your deceit, you will regret this, Sand Freak."

"Trading jutsu was not part of the agreement. Tell Orochimaru that the treaty between the Sand and Sound villages no longer exists." Gaara strolled silently up to his opponent who was now shaking and gritting his teeth in desperation. "If you try to attack our village for revenge, this _sand freak_ will kill you all." The raccoon eyes narrowed as he said this with absolute certainty. There was no doubt between the two ninja that this was not an empty promise.

Suddenly there was a flurry of activity. We were surrounded by men and women in green uniforms, all wearing headbands. Finally a Konoha Squad had managed to find us!

Gaara clapped his hands twice and the cocoon around Kabuto fell away. There was stillness in the air as I wondered what could possibly happen next. The Sound ninja grinned at the welcoming party.

"Looks like I've outstayed my welcome," he declared.

"GET HIM!"

It was too late he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. One ninja barked orders to the others to search the perimeter then they too were gone. The nightmare had come to an end and I closed my eyes relief washing over me. The sand clone disintegrated returning to the gourd. I remembered the cork in my breast pocket and went to return it to Gaara.

"I managed to spill your sand everywhere, sorry about that." I felt extremely awkward. "This belongs to you as well. I couldn't put it back in, there must be a certain way it goes I guess…here."

Gaara nodded and took the cork, "I followed the sand trail to the gourd's location." He didn't seem angry, only explaining how he'd managed to track us down. No, I reminded myself track the _gourd_ down. His turquoise eyes seemed softer than before. I noticed up close how the pangs of his red hair spilt apart more on the left side of his forehead. There was a red tattoo etched there with a symbol that I couldn't recognise. Noticing the focus of my gaze he coughed suddenly.

"You lost this," he turned away embarrassed but insistently held out a scroll towards me. It was the black scroll.

"That's the second time today…" I laughed feebly. Feeling overwhelmed I bit my lip and sniffed furiously. "You got her back. Thank you so much, Gaara." His pale cheeks blossomed for a moment with dusty pink.

"I'll be leaving for Sunagakure at dawn," he said brusquely. "We're even."

"I understand," the barriers were back in place. Gaara glared at me once more crossing his arms defensively over his chest. "Take care with that arm," I offered. "It still needs to be cleansed twice a day."

"Persistent as always," he muttered walking away from me with long strides.

I looked down at the scroll clutched in my hand. Things were never going to be quite the same ever again.


	11. Changing Paths

**Chapter Eleven – Changing Paths **

What a day. By early evening I was ready to punch the next person who came along and asked me _exactly_ what I had been thinking chasing after the gourd like that. The interrogations from both Koharu Utatane and my mother had left me drained and irritable. According to them I was an irresponsible youth who through putting my life in danger had caused the loss of one of Konoha's greatest medical professionals. They didn't want to hear about the threat of Kabuto and Orochimaru – apparently it already was and always had been 'in hand.'

To make matters worse it seemed there was no way to retrieve Matron Shun's body from the scroll. Only the person who cast the jutsu could release the prisoner inside. The thought of Shun trapped in darkness awaiting instructions set my teeth on edge. She would be safe as long as the scroll remained in Konohagakure but there was always a chance that the village could be attacked again and if Kabuto ever found the scroll…this worried me greatly. I couldn't stand it, after getting the scroll back with such a struggle there wasn't anything that could be done.

A search was conducted for Takumi's dead body. It was recovered from an underground grave near the centre of the woods. At least Yakushi had told the truth about that. A barrier had been placed around the grave preventing anyone from going near it. Once deactivated reports suggested that the young man had been buried alive in a coffin, there were scratch marks on the roof and surrounding sides. His fingernails were bloody stubs evidence that he'd tried to claw his way out, when I heard that I began to sob uncontrollably. The loss of my friend had suddenly hit me full force.

Despite everything he was never coming back. He truly was dead and I never got to say goodbye. I had laughed and joked with a complete stranger while poor Takumi was fighting for his life. I felt nauseous unable to come to terms with the cruelty and injustice of it all. I should have known. What sort of friend was I?

The hospital had decided to give me a temporary suspension until its own investigation was completed. Until then I was to treat the break as a holiday and recuperate. The last thing I wanted to do was enjoy myself and relax. At least if I was working I could keep my mind occupied, work double shifts to help the patients perhaps. There was no way around it however and I knew that if I ever returned everyone would lay the blame at my door. Mother was devastated and threatened to disown me, Kabuto had been right it was entirely _my_ fault.

I sat down warily on the cold ground. This was my sanctuary the one place that I could be alone – my peace garden. I first got the idea after father's death as a memorial to him. Somewhere Naoki and I could sit and talk about the good memories we shared. Mother never came near as she was allergic to the flowers and plants which brought her out in a rash. In the centre was a small grey stone carved with two proverbs father had loved to quote time and time again. He told me once that our grandfather sought out words of insight because he believed that he was never a wise man himself. I laughed at the time and asked him why he liked those particular quotes so much. He replied with a twinkle in his eye that they were useful guidance within a marriage.

"One who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger," I read the inscription aloud. "Let what is past flow away downstream…father, I still don't understand." My voice was tinted with frustration and sadness. It seemed like a life time away I needed him and he wasn't here. What was I supposed to do now?

"It means do not hold onto what has happened in the past. Let it go like the water that flows downstream. Sensible advice, do you intend to follow it?" the voice was elderly.

A shaggy grey beard greeted me matched with stern black eyes. A pair of green glasses pushed high on a long wrinkled nose. Wrapped tightly around his neck was a thick white scarf with yellow robes and royal blue tunic. He had an aura of both wisdom and strength as he stood tall, arms linked behind his back. He wasn't in a hurry. Dedicated to the Leaf Village until his dying breath this was Old Man Mitokado Homura, one of the Third's advisors.

I didn't want to reply the unhappiness in my heart was threatening to explode.

"You are young and perhaps at the moment your world looks bleak and barren. Everything you've ever known has blown away like the cherry blossom in Spring. The limited path that you follow has come to a rather abrupt end, has it not?"

"Limited path…"

"To me it seems unfair to be so grounded when you never had the chance to travel. The world is an exciting place with much to be discovered and explored."

"The world is a horrible and cruel place. Just look what it did to my family and friends! Matron Shun is trapped in a scroll, Takumi's dead, Mother hates me, Naoki is falling apart and father…" I stopped, squirming against my own emotions. I forced myself to breathe slowly and regain calm. "As soon as the investigation is over I'm getting back on my limited path and I am going to make up for all the…all the _mess_ that I've caused. I have to put things right somehow."

"Yasu, there are some things that you can never _put right_, no matter what you do. It is not your sole responsibility in life to fix people. Sometimes it is up to the individual to change like your brother, Naoki for example. I am sure that Takumi would not want you to wallow in self pity like this.

Has there ever been a nagging doubt in your mind that somewhere further down the line that you would regret this path? After some time off you may feel differently about the world and be glad that you took the time to stop and reflect."

"Why are you here?" I asked impatiently. I was as far away from tranquillity and reflection as you could get.

"I have a task for you and it will not be an easy one. The Third Hokage once told me that each person holds a unique talent that should be grasped with both hands. Orochimaru has sown seeds of discord choking all relations with others. What the village needs now is loyal allies and close ties to stop everyone stabbing each other in the back.

You, Yasu have a willingness to forge friendships with the most unlikely of individuals and this sets you apart. With Suna recently captured by our ninja the cuts will be deep and many citizens will be suspicious about the treaty. We need an ambassador for Konoha someone who would be willing to spend a year with our neighbours and show them our better side."

"But Master Homura, I don't know anything about politics!"

"It is precisely for that reason why I believe you would be perfect for the job. What do you say Yasu, will be our ambassador for the Leaf Village?"

"I'm fifteen! I'll be laughed out the village."

"Ha, this from the youngest nurse in Konohagakure's history? There are far too many in this world willing to say that you are inadequate. Do not allow yourself to be one of them young one. Gather your will of fire and be prepared to fight your corner! Your escort will be leaving at dawn by the front gate. If you do not know which way to turn, then believe that your new path leads South West."

He left then just as silently as he came. How could he expect me to make a decision like that tonight! I entered my bedroom and pulled a large rucksack from the cupboard.

A year Homura had said, a year in the Hidden Sand Village trying to maintain diplomatic relations with a country which despised us. What was I doing? Mixed with a sense of unease was excitement and energy. This was an opportunity to leave the village and see what was outside. Mother would have time to calm down and after a year I could return and thrill Naoki with tales all about the Land of Wind.

Naoki… I hadn't even thought about how all of this would affect him. He'd be the brunt of mother's attention all year. I promised him that I wouldn't disappear and yet here I was doing just that.

Torn between a chance of freedom and selfish needs I stopped dead, but the village was counting on me - I tried to justify the mission. Would he understand? If I stayed there was a danger that I could end up resenting him and that would hurt more. The thought of hating my own brother made my blood run cold.

"I have to do something for myself just this once," I gasped aloud. With renewed enthusiasm I threw clothes into the backpack and a few other bits and pieces. I had no idea what an ambassador might need to do the job properly. My own impression of ambassadors from other countries were senior people dressed in smart kimonos and signing lots of paper. They went to tea ceremonies and had held long meetings with whatever kage in their residence.

Having left a letter to Naoki, I met up with the Sand ninja by the front gate as requested. Mitokado Homura was smiling broadly as I walked up to the group and gave me a pat on the back.

"Here," he said placing an emerald green box into my hands. "Use the tools in the box for correspondence and don't forget to seal the wax with this ring – that's important Yasu." A cold and shiny silver ring was placed onto my index finger it showed the emblem of the Leaf village. Taken aback I muttered an astonished thank you and placed the box into my rucksack.

"This will be your escort to the village. I believe you've met Gaara and this is his team." I nodded nervously. Perhaps this was a mistake!

"Let me know when you've settled in and remember if there's anything you need to help diplomatic relations then you only need to ask! Now then, if you'll excuse me there is a pressing matter to attend to which concerns finding a new Hokage for our own village."

"Master Homura," I called urgently. "There's a ninja trainee called Naruto Uzumaki, do you know him?" the elder man rolled his eyes and smiled. "I'll take that as a yes? Could you ask him to drop in on Naoki now and then, keep an eye on him? It would really do him the world of good."

"Are you sure about that ambassador?" he asked sceptically. His wise black eyes were glinting. "Well, I suppose…anyhow don't let me keep you."

The group of four watched him go and Kankuro rolled his eyes with disgust.

"Man, I thought he was never going to leave droaning on about the alliance like that. Still, at least we got you back Gaara without lifting a finger!" The second oldest of the three seemed cheerful enough. It was difficult at times to see what expression he was wearing due to the purple tribal marks on his face. I wasn't sure whether it was warrior paint or tattoos that had been sealed onto the skin. In my puzzlement to decide the ninja looked sharply at me and growled.

"What are you staring at?"

"Oh, sorry about that. I was just wondering about the unusual markings on your face," I replied honestly.

"My face is none of your business," he snarled back. "Talk about it again and I'll snap you in half, you got that?"

"Kankuro, you should be more polite to the ambassador!" the sacasism from Temari's voice was not masked. She stood with a single hand on her hip holding a gigantic metal fan with the other. This girl was the eldest and the same age as me and yet the way she held herself reflected a more mature and confident individual.

"Don't intefer on my behalf, you three may as well go on ahead. If you plan on using me for amusement and cheap shots all the way to Sunagakure I'd rather you didn't bother. I can look after myself without an escort and don't worry I'll never look at your face again if it makes you happy!" I glared at him and then pushed past Temari.

After my treatment at the hospital, I was not going to swap one bully for another two. I pulled the rucksack higher onto my back and marched into the forest alone.

After three hours my rage had fizzled out and combined with the weight of the rucksack on my back I decided to take a break. Sweat was dripping steadily down my face, neck and back. I had packed a minimal amount aware that the trek back to the Land of Wind was going to take approximately three days. With the escort it might feel more like three weeks I thought with horror.

A cool drink from my water bottle was heaven but I was careful not to spill a single drop. I'd have to think about filling up before we left the Land of Fire although I had no idea where the Hidden Sand Village was in the hot desert. At some point whether I liked it or not I would be relying on my escort to get there.

"Feeling tired already? You'll need to develop that stamina of yours if you're going to survive in our country," Temari came slowly out the bushes nearby. I ignored the girl determined to get my breath back before the next three hour stretch. I reached for the backpack only to have it swiped away from me. "I better carry this for a while before you faint on us - a bag is easier to carry than a dead weight after all."

"That's not necessary," I insisted. "I can carry my own bag!"

"Look ambassador, as much as you might enjoy leisurely walks if we have any hope of getting back to our village before tomorrow afternoon we need to up the pace."

"Tomorrow afternoon?!" I couldn't hide my surprise. "You can get from one land to another in one and a half days?"

"Well it's not like we're ordinary shinobi, don't you even get that yet?" She seemed pleased that my perceptions had been blown out the water. I thought I'd been making encouraging progress and storming ahead when all the time I was slowing them down!

Temari sighed and shook her head making the four spiky blond ponytails dance. "I'll take the bag and Kankuro can carry you on his back." Her teal blue eyes pierced mine as I was about to protest. "It'll be much faster that way."

"Absolutely not!" My voice rose two fold in pitch and my cheeks blushed.

"What, you prefer Gaara to carry you?" the widening of my eyes made her laugh out loud. "Look here he is now – I'll go and ask him…"

"No, I have a better idea Kankuro can carry the bag and you take me! You'll get home faster and there's no embarassment involved."

"What are you, eleven stone?" Temari's lips curled into a cruel smile.

"Eight and a half actually, too heavy for your stamina?" I piped back quickly enough.

The female ninja threw the bag towards her brother and unfolded the crimson red obi which she had tied around her waist. As she lifted me onto her back Kankuro wrapped the obi around both of us and pulled it tight. I settled my hands on Temari's shoulders which were covered in black mesh detailing much the same as Gaara had on his arms and legs. A headband with the symbol of the Sand Village was tied as a necklace. She pulled down the white dress she was wearing slightly, trying to adjust to the extra weight.

"Let's get this over with…" she yawned. " I don't want to carry this lug around for longer than necessary."

"Hey!" I yelled back. "Who are you calling a – whoah!!" Before I even had the chance to complete my retort we were flying through the trees at amazing speed.


	12. Desert Flower

**Author note - **Having not watched the second arch of the Naruto series I know very little about Suna, its culture and history. This chapter is based from observations of art work, internet research and a little creative thinking! Anyways hope you enjoy - Allybee x

**Chapter Twelve – Desert Flower**

Arrival at Suna was swift. My first glimpse of the Hidden Village however was slightly disappointing as it was shrouded in a menacing sandstorm that had picked up almost as soon as we entered the area. There was a strong possibility that we could be thrown off course back towards the central desert.

"Shouldn't we find shelter until it blows over?" I tried to reason with Temari shouting in her ear over the noise.

"Knowing our weather," she replied. "This storm could last for days."

Kankuro was taking the lead this time, briefly leaving the party to lift up what looked like an ordinary rock. Underneath was a shallow hole concealing a pack bound together with rope. He unrolled the pack which contained ten wooden rods each with diamond shaped silver tips.

"Instead of busting our guts like this we could just ask Gaara to redirect the sand…" Kankuro moaned at his sister. She responded with a disapproving frown.

"We can't risk causing a mass riot from the villagers, you know that. They're already on edge because they know he's coming back!" She hissed smacking him roughly over the back of his black hood.

He sighed bitterly taking one of the rods and charging it with blue chakra. He stabbed the rod into the ground and shielding his eyes from the sand watched as the chakra projected a bright blue beam towards the desert. We followed the beam to its farthest point before Kankuro once more charged another rod and rammed it into the ground.

This procedure was repeated eight more times. I was still unsure whether we were heading in the right direction but the sand siblings simply looked bored. I tightened my grip on Temari's shoulders.

"Don't panic Ambassador," she purred. "We won't be taken by the desert today. We've done this a hundred times before. They're chakra homing beacons, believe me, this is _no_ big deal."

Despite my concerns we reached Sunagakure with nothing more than minor wind burn. The storm had subsided (a little) by the time we reached the main pass. We came upon a gigantic rock face with a narrow entrance. The wind whistled and howled down the passage which took us deeper into the Hidden Village. There were eyes everywhere although I couldn't actually see anyone standing around. I guess it made sense that covert sand ninja would keep the entrance heavily guarded.

Inside I could finally see the village with its clay spherical buildings. There were few detached homes. It seemed that the larger towers housed most of the citizen population. Each level had small porthole windows to allow light to get through. There were stone spheres on the rooftops which I guessed served a decorative purpose.

In central position was the largest building of all. It reminded me of a gigantic cookie pot masked in a blanket of honey yellow dust. There was a large circular tile attached to the outer wall with a single red character bearing the Kaze Kanji. When I screwed up my eyes tightly enough I believed the symbol represented Wind. Springing away from the 'central hive' were eight sheltered walkways with reinforced hard stone roofs.

We were ushered inside and greeted by a rather gruff looking man. He wore a white bandana secured in place by a head band of the hidden sand. Bandages were tied securely around his chin linking back to the other side of his face. The right half of his facial features however were hidden by a white piece of cloth that hung like a curtain. I wondered what the man had to hide. His left side showed tanned skin and two red triangles that curved around the contours of his cheeks. His dark black eyebrows arched slightly when he saw me strapped to Temari's back.

Directed along the corridor we came to a red door which led to a conference room. Inside there was a blue sofa with its legs cut low to the floor, a table of a similar height was in the centre along with mats to sit on. There was a cupboard and a picture of an older man grinning pleasantly from the back of the room. Attached to the wall was a grey metal grate with sloping plates that allowed air to get in but kept the sand out. I was beginning to realise how much the weather influenced life in the Land of Wind. The room was dim and quite dark with the same tiny windows that I had noticed before.

Temari stretched and finally untied the obi that bound us together. After being released my body began to suffer the most appalling case of cramps. Reluctantly I wiggled one leg then the other knowing exactly what was going to come next. Right on cue my toes tingled and burned. I ignored the numbness and the illusion that my left foot now felt like it weighed a tonne. I couldn't feel the hard floor underneath me and combined with this was the odd sensation that my toes had turned to jelly and refused to budge. This was the worst possible time to have pins and needles!

"Are you _going_ to sit down?" Kankuro glanced at me strangely.

Trying to retain some dignity I dived onto the blue sofa before my legs gave out completely. Frantically I stamped my feet under the table trying to get some feeling back into them – this was embarrassing!

"Thank you for escorting me. You did a great job!" I exclaimed.

Temari and Kankuro smirked at each other and then burst into fits of cruel laughter.

"Oh my," Temari began with an air of sarcasm. "We managed to pass the ambassador of Konohagakure's high standards, aren't we honoured?" Her loathing of my presence here was crystal clear.

The remark hadn't been meant in a snotty way but as I learnt quickly Temari couldn't handle compliments. I decided to say nothing more since my attempt to break the ice had failed miserably. I couldn't really complain after all she had carried me all this way. There was a deathly silence in the room after that which made me feel even more uncomfortable – I didn't know what to do.

"Temari, you're annoying." Gaara spoke up with an edge to his voice. "You're forgetting the treaty. Show the ambassador to the guest room – if you can even manage that. Dinner will be in one hour."

She scowled not at all pleased that little brother had spoilt her fun. Kankuro had stood to attention and stopped smirking also. It was eerie the way the eldest children jumped out their skin whenever Gaara (the youngest) spoke or gave an order. I stood up and wobbled trying to follow the female ninja out the room.

It was dark and stuffy indoors we turned two corners until the corridor finally ended. I could hear Temari breathing through her nostrils.

She pushed open the bedroom door roughly banging it against the wall. As she turned to look back at me, the 'new arrival' her eyes were narrowed forcing almost majestic calm.

"Enjoy your stay, Ambassador," her voice was low, almost a whisper. People didn't have to shout to be menacing - this low and deliberate hiss made my skin crawl. The way she stood there with mock respect I could just tell that she wasn't going to let this slide. I knew she was pretty mad and perhaps it might have made me feel better if she had been yelling!

"Thank you," I muttered unconvincingly. I closed the door and listened to the light footsteps becoming fainter as she walked back down the hall. I flopped blissfully onto the bed and curled up on my side tucking my knees into my chest. A creeping sense of loneliness wormed its way into my conscience. I hadn't been here a single day and already I was desperate to go home. What had Master Homura been thinking? I wasn't cut out for striking deals or making negotiations!

Everything here is so dark and depressing I thought sadly. It's like the sand is pressing down on everyone, smothering them. Visiting other countries was supposed by an exciting experience, an opportunity to see new things and meet new people. So why did I miss the rustle of leaves and the clear blue sky with only hints of white fluffy clouds? I was craving madly just to see a hint of greenery, anything instead of these confounded yellow grains!

"Why would people even want to live in such a place?" I grumbled punching the soft sheets with my fist. "There's nothing here that could possibly be worth seeing!"

Disturbed from my spiteful thoughts I sat up and admired a beautiful painting hanging by the mirror on the opposite wall. It was the picture of a flower. Its petals were pointed at the end like spines and the pink colouration was quite intense. I leaned over the desk to get closer and discovered with delight that there was an inked verse to go with it.

"Where flowers bloom so does hope," I read with interest. The faint hint of a smile reached my lips for the first time since I had arrived. Then I felt ashamed of myself for being so judgemental. Whoever had written the verse was obviously an optimistic individual, not everyone in the entire village could be as hard faced as Temari surely?

I was unsure how much time had passed and decided to dress for dinner. Although there were only a few items of clothing in my backpack I made sure to include three smart dresses. For this particular dress the bodice and underskirt was deep fuchsia, made from cotton. Draped over the cotton were several layers of lilac chiffon. I carefully wound some thick blue ribbon around my waist and tied the ends into a loose bow. For my feet I decided to simply wear clean white socks as I had been given no guest slippers.

As I sat back down next to the mirror I realised it would probably be pointless to ask to have a bath! I released my long blond hair from its ballerina bun and took a fine comb trying to untangle any knots. It wasn't too much of laborious work as my hair had not been caught in the high winds. Unsure exactly how to make myself look even a year older I decided to wear it long with two braids joined together at the back to keep it in check. When satisfied that all was presentable there was a knock at the door.

It was the same man as before so I relaxed a little having expected another dose of Temari's special hospitality.

I tried to make conversation as we walked side by side down the corridor. "I apologise for my rudeness before it was a long journey. My name is Yasu Katashi."

"I know who you are, Ambassador…" he replied curtly.

"It's polite to give your own name before you ask someone for theirs" I insisted rising to his lack of interest far too quickly.

We reached the dining room. '_I really don't want to go in there'_ I hesitated stepping away the anxiety was making me feel sick.

"Baki," he said quietly. I turned to him in confusion. "My name is Baki," he repeated before sliding open two mesh screens.

Inside were Gaara, Temari and Kankuro wearing the same clothes they had an hour ago. They stayed seated on their mats that surrounded another low table.

Although I felt like taking the seat furthest away from the group I made an effort to sit opposite to Kankuro ignoring the glare he gave back.

Baki was kind offering food, drink and some conversation throughout the meal. I knew that the only reason he bothered was due to obligation but it was helpful to avoid the awkward silences.. At home Naoki would chatter away whilst throwing a heap of ingredients into the cooking pot. I would enjoy a game with him afterwards whilst sharing any new gossip I'd heard at the hospital. It was informal, friendly-ish and ten times more fun than the miserable gathering I found myself in now.

"Temari, there was a painting in the guest room that I wanted to ask you about. It's a pink flower with an inscription do you know anything about it? It's a lovely piece of work." I was determined to show that I took my role seriously. Discovering aspects of a different culture was important and besides I had to write _something_ to Master Homura in my first letter.

"Where flowers bloom so does hope," she said absently then looked surprised that I'd picked up on the painting. "It's a desert flower, part of a folktale that you tell kids. You want a bedtime story Ambassador?" She smirked but continued anyway as I listened intently.

The story went a little something like this…There was once a fierce samurai who was known as the greatest warrior throughout the land. He trained for many hours each day and fulfilled every desire of the Daimyo who he served. The Daimyo however was a paranoid fool, a coward who preyed on nations weaker than his own. He sent the Samurai to plunder neighbouring villages and to murder innocent men who he suspected might attempt to assassinate him. The Samurai though brave had not the wisdom to question the actions of his master.

One day as he travelled to a village hidden in the desert he was overcome by a storm and presumed dead. When he awoke he found himself in the village tended to by a lowly, young maiden with the kindest grey eyes and hair as blue as the sky. The Samurai could not remember who he was, his memory clouded with fog. Over time he learnt and followed the livelihoods of the villagers becoming one of them. He fell in love with the maiden and they were married.

Two years passed and the Daimyo together with his armies came upon the village. They stole whatever they could find, burnt down the houses and kidnapped the local women. The Samurai's wife was taken. He gave chase and smote down soldier after solder of the Daimyo's guard their bodies falling like thunder claps to the ground. The Samurai knocked the Daimyo from his horse and beheaded him with the sharp sword he always kept by his side.

The Samurai looked about him at the death and destruction he had caused. In the chaos lay his dying wife. Her body crushed by the horse that had fallen on top of her. As she lay in his arms, the maiden tried to encourage the Samurai to rebuild the village and begin anew. His grief was too much to bear having remembered all those he had killed and maimed in the past.

"How can I build a new village?" he cried in despair. "This place is barren there is nothing here."

"Look to the desert flower," his wife pointed. "Where flowers bloom so does hope." With that she took her last breath and her soul travelled to the heavens.

The Samurai remembered with great love the words of his wife and gathered survivors from the village. They worked hard it was not easy for them - the desert heat scorched their backs by day and froze their bones at night. The fruit of their labour was the village that stands before you today, Sunagakure.

"I haven't heard that story in a _long_ time." Kankuro pondered when his sister had finished the tale.

"Was there really a Samurai that founded Sunagakure, Baki?"

The man shook his head, "It's simply a folktale Ambassador. I told the story to Temari over six years ago, I'm intrigued that she even recalls…"

"I don't remember the story," Gaara interrupted surprising everyone in the room.

"You weren't there," she replied quietly, her suspicious eyes flitting towards me for a moment before returning to her brother. "You were training with father."

The mood became tense. It seemed conversation was over for the evening. The eldest siblings excused themselves and swept out the room in a hurry. Gaara followed shortly afterwards rising slowly and saying nothing as he closed the screens behind him. I made an attempt to clear away the plates and chopsticks but Baki stayed my hand.

"We have servants for that sort of thing." He shook his head. "Tomorrow you shall relocate to a space of your own - I'm sure you would appreciate the privacy. The Administration Building is not an appropriate place for guests to stay on a permanent basis, especially at the moment."

"Can you give me a tour?" I asked rising from my mat hopefully.

"The Kazekage Residence is _not_ a tourist attraction, Ambassador. You are very honoured to be staying here tonight! Would you ask the same in Konohagakure?"

"No, I guess not sorry… I'm a little over excited. It's the first time I've travelled away from home before."

"Ambassador?" Baki sighed deeply.

"Yes."

"Please save your energy there is a long year ahead. Now, it is time to retire if you follow me, I will escort you back to your room." I looked wistfully behind me as we headed back to the guest room, the wonders and secrets of the administration building to forever remain a mystery it seemed.


	13. Elbow Grease

**Chapter Thirteen – Elbow Grease**

Having slept like a log the next morning was brighter and full of promise. I changed, packed my things and waited. Eventually it was Baki accompanied by Gaara who came to escort me to my new home. The black rings around the young ninja's eyes looked particularly prominent in the weak sunshine. I wondered if his insomnia was getting worse and whether I should offer that remedy again. He blanked me however as we left the great building his eyes fixed steadily in front of him.

The early sun twinkled over the sand dunes that surrounded the village. It felt cool, the storm had died leaving the sand settled and calm. There was some movement as the stall holders, deliveries and early risers went about their morning stroll. We walked passed the hints of life along a faint dirt track that led away from the Kazekage Residence and market square towards the western part of the village.

I spotted the ram shackle of a house immediately. It was a lot older than the other buildings in Suna. The outer walls crumbled as my fingers ran across them. They were made from a mixture of clay, sand and mud. I thought about how exactly this ancient cement had held together for so many years. With weather conditions as extreme as last night it was a miracle the structure was still standing.

Baki appeared uncomfortable as though he didn't quite remember the building being in such disrepair.

"We could find alternative accommodation, "he coughed looking at the house sideways on. It still looked just as weather beaten and neglected.

"It's fine." I grinned trying to reassure him placing my hands on both hips. "What's a little dereliction? Just give me the tools and I'll fix this place up in no time."

"You want to stay?" Baki was having trouble digesting this fact.

Perhaps he'd expected me to be offended, outraged even. The truth was grandeur, airs and graces made me queasy. There was something very humble and honest about the establishment in front of me and besides this way I could _really_ make it my own.

"In that case we should introduce you to Shiro, your house keeper and attendant."

A young woman with slim build crept apologetically out the shadows from the porch. She was in her twenties, pretty with medium viridian green hair that was arranged half up and half down. Dressed in; long flowing black trousers, Geta shoes and a daffodil yellow wrap top that clung to her curves, Shiro waved back shyly.

"Hello there," I stretched out my hand and shook hers with great enthusiasm. There was no reply once more – a response that I still found hard to get used to.

"She's mute," Gaara revealed speaking to me briefly. "If you need anything ask. There is nothing wrong with her ears." He sounded cold and I could see Shiro's hands clasped together in front of her almost in defence. I knew that he was simply stating facts but I found it insensitive of him to mention it so publicly.

"I think Shiro and I will get along just fine, thank you."

When the gentlemen left we got straight to work. Inside the house was a cobweb infested mess with broken cupboards, mouldy food in unwashed bowls and bug ridden furniture. I attacked the task with much vigour; throwing two filthy rugs outside and smacking the dust into submission with a beater bar, prising open the sticky windows with a spoon, unblocking the kitchen sink which was rotten, brushing half a desert worth of sand out the door, scrubbing the table tops, polishing pictures, repairing an old set of curtains that had been eaten by moths - the list was endless. I was both disgusted and amazed that the previous occupant had left the house in such an awful state.

By lunchtime the bottom half of the house was just about inhabitable. Shiro giggled silently at our clothes which were a lost cause. She'd been really helpful and was not the least bit afraid of the hard work. I slumped into one of the chairs that had been treated with bug repellent and tried not to breathe. It felt good to see the house coming together my first day as Ambassador perhaps had not been productive but for Yasu Katashi it was a great victory! A sweet smell wafted through my nostrils, Shiro had very kindly made tea.

"I used to work in a hospital," I explained to her a little later that morning. "There was a girl very much like you Shiro, except not only could she not talk but she was also deaf. Communication was very difficult for a while and she became very frustrated. She started causing trouble to make people notice her, after some time we came up with a way of talking to each other through hand signs like this." I demonstrated. "Food, hunger…is a cupped hand close to your mouth. Tea is a cupped hand and you swirl it around like this as though stirring it. Erm, some signs we had to make up specifically like Hokage, you pretend to hold onto the rim of a hat and dip it slightly, see? Konoha is a falling leaf…you mimic it falling with your hand slowly."

Shiro nodded politely copying my movements. She probably thought the new Ambassador was a sandwich short of a picnic.

"Kazekage could be the same I guess except... because of the wind you have to fix the hat firmly back on your head rather than dip it. Suna, now, what could we do for that? I could trace the character with my finger in the air that's not very clear though."

Shiro shook her head at my suggestion and tugged on my sleeve. Her index finger created a slow spiral from top to bottom. I laughed comprehending what she meant. It was the sandstorm from the other night. "That's great, okay Suna…" I copied the hand sign.

With a knock at the door we both jumped caught up with the sign language lesson. The attendant instantly cowered and went to hide in the kitchen. Confused I went to answer and found Kankuro stood there with a box.

"That's a good look for you, Ambassador!" he gloated sniggering at my scruffy attire. I was beginning to feel that the middle child's only talents were bullying and making wisecracks. "Enjoying the five star treatment?"

"Do you have something for me?" I replied ignoring his unkind remarks.

"Basic tool kit, hammer, nails stuff like that." He thrust the heavy box and a package into my arms without any warning. Stumbling I had to quickly strain my muscles to cope with the weight.

"What's in the package?" I gasped struggling to put the box down without pulling something.

"No idea." He shrugged his shoulders and without saying goodbye began to walk off.

"Who is it from?" I persisted, calling after him.

"Like I care!" Kankuro spat and didn't turn around. There was a noticeable urgency in his pace which was odd.

Shiro was looking out the window as I came in with fear in her eyes. Upon seeing the box through, she immediately relieved me of my burden and coaxed me back to the chair. There was deep concern plastered on her face. She checked me over as if looking for signs of injury.

"I'm alright, Shiro! Why don't you unpack and see what we've got to work with, hmm?"

Reluctantly the older woman left my side and opened the box. Meanwhile I ripped open the lilac package that had been placed on top of the box, trying to imagine what it could contain. To my utter surprise it was the desert flower painting from yesterday. The cheerful bright pink head of the flower was just as beautiful as the first time I laid eyes on it. I considered who sent the painting but it was tricky as there was no card or letter attached. It must be Baki I concluded perhaps he felt guilty about the house and was attempting to make amends. I would have to make a point of thanking him personally the next time there was a meeting.

The rest of the afternoon Shiro and I separated, with my attendant tackling the upper floor of the house and myself the rather precarious and battered roof. My worst fears were realised. I removed any broken tiles and debris which unfortunately was rather a lot. It was easy to see why the inside of the building had been caked in so much dirt and grime. There were gaping holes that hadn't been tended to for years. I showed Shiro the full extent of the damage and she was horrified.

"I need something like this," I handed the maid a piece of the thatch material that had come away. "When you weave it together it creates the underlay for the ceiling. Also some mud, wet sand and grit anything you can find. When they bake in the sun for a bit they'll become rock hard I think and protect us from the storms. You've got a better idea where these things are, I really hope you don't mind."

Shiro smiled and bowed deeply.

"What the…look, there's no need to do that. Just see if you can find the materials it would be a really big help, okay?" my cheeks burned with embarrassment. This was a lady was over seven years my senior and she was acting like I was royalty or something.

She left immediately and was back within the hour pulling a box cart up the track. Not only had she found exactly what I was looking for but she had also returned with a few other things that had not been on the shopping list. She bustled the cart out of sight returning with the materials as requested and a sturdy ladder. Not wanting to offend Shiro I went back to the grind sealing the gaps in the underlay.

When it came to mixing the ingredients to make a covering for the roof I didn't have a clue. Conscious that if I got it wrong it would be a waste and cost me a day's worth of work I was stumped. The house keeper knew nothing about quantities either and understood my reluctance to proceed. We both looked at the materials hopelessly.

"Gawping at anything interesting?" a familiar voice asked. "Oh, grit how exciting for you Ambassador, you're making such good use of your first day in office!"

"Hello Temari." I narrowed my eyes and turned to face her steely teal blue ones which reflected a rather tired and grumpy me. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you're failing of course." she pushed past us both and entered the house uninvited. With alarm I realised Shiro was about to chase after the bitch when I held onto her. The house keeper tried to pull away, breathing heavily and clutching her fists. There was a foolish bravery about the maid now that had come from nowhere. When Kankuro had arrived she literally scampered into the kitchen terrified of the boy. Temari wasn't the type to suffer fools gladly so why did she have sudden fire in her belly?

"Stop it Shiro," I whispered fiercely the pulling stopped. "What do you think?" I changed topic keeping things civil. "You can even see the floor now and not a cobweb in sight."

"So, you're attempting to fix the roof with…that. Know anything about construction? No, silly question of course not." Temari sounded like a teacher reproaching a student my own temper was beginning to boil. It wasn't as if she was older than me anyway, why did she always think she knew everything? It was so annoying!

"Well, do you know how to make cement as a roof base? No, I guess not. Now, if you don't mind I'll be getting on."

"Don't be so hasty…my, my quite the little hot head aren't we?" Temari grinned wildly pleased that she had managed to get under my skin. "Okay, I'll give you a hint but don't expect me to get down and dirty to your level. You can do the donkey work, got that?"

The unexpected help took me unawares I had been prepared to release a torrent of insults against the young woman. To find instead that I had to keep my mouth firmly shut and follow orders, felt incredibly harsh!

In the end it was good advice she stirred me clear of the most common mistakes. Temari explained that if too much sand was added it would become brittle, too much water the mixture would dissolve and too much grit the small pieces would not bind together properly. The mixture had to be smooth and thick so that it was easy to spread. You had to apply one layer then allow it to dry thoroughly before applying the next otherwise the layers wouldn't seal properly which would cause leaks. Apparently the medium requirement was three layers.

Temari supervised me for the rest of the afternoon yelling at me when I was about to do something wrong and never praising me when I got something right. By the end my nerves were frayed but the job was finished and with any luck there would be nothing else that needed to be fixed. I climbed slowly down the ladder my legs threatening to seize up.

"That was pretty tough, my poor legs!"

"You thought that was tough? You better get used to it living around here. Not everyone is going to give you a handout when you ask for one." Temari's tone was distinctly crisp.

"I don't ask for handouts. I fully intend to reimburse Shiro." I corrected her wiping the sweat from my brow.

"Then again most people of Konoha have everything handed to them on a plate. They take things for granted," She smirked at me. It was obvious that she had plenty more to say.

"I'm not sure what you're getting at. I really appreciate your help, so why spoil it by slagging off my village? It sounds like you're jealous," I deliberately kept my voice even, trying to be calm. Temari towered over me.

"_I'm jealous?_" she mocked me with a fake smile. "Jealous of a village that is soft and weak, I watched your ninja during the chunin exams they were a bunch of brainless idiots! You didn't even realise that your village was under attack until we had to spell it out for you. Your own Hokage was too weak to kill one of his own pupils! Then they send a _nurse_ to play at being an Ambassador! What exactly am I jealous of?"

My face wanted to twist into the ugliest scowl. I wanted desperately more than anything to slap that smug cow's face. We stood facing each other she demanded a heated response and it took all my will power not to oblige.

"Too scared to punch me? I can say what I like and you just take it like the garbage you are," she shook her head with disappointment.

"I think you better leave. You're making _yourself_ look like a brainless idiot," I replied slowly, my eyes not leaving hers for a second.

"You're not wanted here. The Ambassador position was a token gesture on the treaty in other words, _idiot_ - a joke. I give you one week and you'll either be dead or crying back home."

She was relentless and intimidating. I had no idea where this resentment was coming from it was unreal. Temari was a smart person, why was she lowering herself like this? I didn't want to think badly of my hostess but there was a glint in her eyes and the way she smirked suggested that she was enjoying the argument. I knew people like this at home they thrived on confrontation and heated exchanges. The drama and energy was irresistible to them and they could conjure a fight from anything no matter how minor.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I won't be going anywhere soon. We have a year together. We don't have to like each other but we should try to get along for the sake of both villages. Isn't that what peace is about, Temari?" I pointed out trying to get back on track.

Temari wrinkled up her nose with disgust. I thought for a moment in her fury that she was going to strike me instead she looked me up and down repulsed. Having grown bored with me, she gave a final snotty look in my direction before walking off into the distance. When out of sight I picked up a nearby stone and threw it after her as hard as I could.


	14. Suna Village

**Chapter Fourteen – Town**

It had been two weeks since I arrived in Suna. Shiro brought me breakfast in bed which made me jump out my skin. I was used to looking after myself and to have another person fetch and carry after me just wasn't normal! She smiled brightly and pointed to the window framing the sun. I nibbled on the toasted bread dipped in marmalade wondering where she'd managed to find the sweet treat in such a desolate place.

She always seemed so happy when I thanked her taking great satisfaction in performing duties and doing anything I asked without hesitation. We'd developed a fair amount of sign language too which I'd committed to memory. We'd thought about signs for some of the colourful characters I'd met so far in Suna. For Baki, we covered one half of the face with a hand. Temari was two fists placed at the back of the head signifying her bunches. Kankuro was index fingers tracing lines across our cheeks. It was primitive perhaps like two children creating a language that only they can understand, but quite fun.

Shiro was becoming the big sister I'd never had a reassuring presence, kind and proactive. Before I even knew I was hungry she would always appear with food and brought an endless supply of tea. She knew to leave me alone when I was working on official business and not to mention home too often because she knew it would unsettle me.

When it came to Gaara however, Shiro made a sign that at first glance was completely understandable. Two fingers representing horns on either side of the head which signified demon. I didn't like it.

"I don't want to see that again." The volume of my voice had risen so sharply that Shiro dropped to the floor begging for my forgiveness. She pawed at my hand fearful that I was angry. I was shocked at how such a small thing made me blow up.

I tried to justify my reaction and explained softly. "I know he has a reputation. I've even seen a glimpse of his transformation… I understand how scary he might seem. Listen, for the others we chose something to identify the person from what they looked like. We could refer to his tattoo by making a cross on the left of the forehead like this. I didn't mean to snap it's just such a cruel gesture and it made feel bad."

After an awkward pause I went to the bedroom and picked out a clean white shirt with embroidery of a baby blue sakura print, light blue leggings and open toed sandals.

"I'm going to take a walk," I informed my attendant cheerfully pulling my hair quickly into a loose ponytail. "It's about time that I met some of the locals and said hello, don't you think?" Her mouth dropped further, eyes sparkling and widening as they always did when she was worried. "I'm sure you'd like to finish off your chores without having me under your feet. See you later!"

It took about twenty minutes to reach the village centre which was quite busy. Unlike Konoha which had many different streets and winding alleys the shops were located close together in a hub. There was a large market square paved in an intricate mosaic style with slabs of yellow and blue. Surrounding the square were further shops those that had been established here for quite some time. The various names and symbols above the windows and doors were those linked to individual families. Some depicted windmills, birds such as herons, pipits and swallows others were soaring kites with long flowing tails.

I was surprised to see so few people in the main square. Surely the citizens liked to interact with one another, gossip? But aside from the shop keepers there wasn't a soul to be seen. There were two ninja patrolling the area. As I approached them they immediately reached for their pockets pulling out two shuriken.

"Who are you?" one growled. "Haven't seen you around here before, where you from?" His friend looked equally ready to fight.

I glanced at the headband the ninja was wearing it was a swirling leaf pattern engraved into the steel. "The same place as you. My name is Yasu Katashi, I've just arrived here. Why are you still hanging around, I thought the war between the nations was over?"

"Oh, _you're_ the Ambassador sent by Master Homura?" the armed man exclaimed looking at me curiously. "Forgive me, I was expecting someone…"

"Older perhaps?" I ventured. "I am the Ambassador and here is the ring to prove it given to me by the man himself."

The ninja took a brief glance and nodded quite satisfied. He instantly relaxed a little placing the shuriken back into his pocket. "My reaction was rude, I apologise." He said swiftly. "We've been stationed here for quite a while but there has been nothing to report."

"Can't you go home?" I asked puzzled.

"We were told to stay and maintain close watch over Sunagakure in case there was a counter strike. Nothing of great interest has happened apart from the moaning locals. They don't want us here and I guess in all honesty I'd rather not be here either. It's not that I don't understand the elders' caution I just think the citizens here are getting fed up. Why would they risk going to war against us, again?"

I nodded and continued with my exploration. There was a shop that specialised in inks, scrolls and sumi as the elaborate and decorative parchment illustrated. I made a swift entry and a bell chimed. There was an elderly gentleman in the nearest corner snoozing across the counter. A black eboshi was balanced rather hazardously on his head.

"Can I help you, miss? You'll have to forgive grandfather," another voice spoke much younger. As I glanced about the shop there was no one else there until I looked down. "He's getting old and needs a nap now and then to keep his strength up. What do you need?"

"Oh, I was looking for some pre-prepared ink preferably in black."

"I can find that for you please, wait here."

The young boy barely six with brown curly hair went running to the second shelf on the left. He jumped up and swung on the ladder shifting across the shelves muttering colours quietly to himself. Suddenly he stopped dead and nodding in confirmation took one bottle. Climbing down the ladder he returned to me as promised with the ink.

"Here you go, one fifty please." I handed over the exact amount of yen. "Are you new here, lady?"

"Actually yes, I'm from Konoha the Land of Fire."

"Really?" the boy seemed surprised. "But you seem so…nice not dangerous at all."

"Why, do you think all people from Konohagakure are dangerous?"

"They captured the village. When the Leaf ninja came in the dark everyone was scared. Some people got caught in the cross fire and buildings fell down. I hid under the bed and grandfather was cursing trying to find his sword. He hasn't fought for years and I started crying because I thought he was going to die too. Afterwards people kept whispering that the Kazekage was murdered and the Konoha Ninja had done it.

I don't know what to believe and the ninja won't go home so Grandfather refuses to leave the shop. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you all this." He became flustered handing over the paper bag trying to smile.

"Thank you for taking care of this for me." I placed the ink in the small straw bag I had brought with me.

Upon leaving the shop I pondered about the child's words. There was no sign of the two ninja I had seen before. Was the Kazekage really dead? When Baki had said that the Administration Building was not an appropriate place to stay _especially at the moment _what did he mean? They were perhaps trying to hide a dilemma that now existed although Konoha was in exactly the same position! Surely the two nations couldn't hide the fact that they both needed new leadership it was silly.

In my own village there was a group of elders that made an Advisory Council they would decide who was best to take charge and protect the village's interests. Who could take the place of the third? That was the next question. One of the Legendary Sannin was the most logical choice after all they were powerful and talented. Orochimaru was out of bounds, then again Master Jiraiya and Lady Tsunade had both left the village for different reasons although it was never explained fully why. There were other ninja that could step into the role but no one with the same amount of respect or standing. I wondered if there was anybody in Suna who was strong enough to fill the breach.

I was attracting attention wandering around the square. A wave of curious eyes followed as I picked up and admired many of the fine jewellery and figurines that dotted the stalls. There was one statue of a snow white dog stood to attention with a black shiny nose and friendly eyes.

"That's a wolf dog," the stall owner pressed on me. "If you keep it in the home it helps to ward off evil spirits. I have several of my own and they never fail me. At three seventy five that's a bargain, something I won't repeat!"

That's awfully expensive for a statue I thought over double the price of the ink which took a lot more time and effort to produce.

"That's too much," I returned the statue. "It's made from clay and painted. Bargain or not I can spot a swindle when I see one, one twenty five and not a penny more." I'd haggled goods on Naoki's behalf before as my brother was far too naïve to navigate his way through a market transaction. The lady on the stall considered my offer and smiled surly.

"Are visitors too cheap to give an old woman a fair price?" she warbled pathetically looking for sympathy from the other sellers.

"Fine, one fifty and for that you can tell me something!"

"Bless you, bless you my child. Gracious and generous you won't regret it. What would you like to know?"

"Is it true that the Kazekage has been murdered?" I lowered my voice seriously.

The old woman choked, her hands wrapped around the dog statue frozen in terror.

"My dear, if you go around saying things like that you will find yourself in terrible trouble." Her voice dropped below a whisper as she came very close to me. "What you say is rumour but I believe it to be true."

"Why don't they make an announcement and choose another Kage?"

"You jest, why would the Kazekage tell us what is going on? We are always the last to know many things. The question is not why child, but whom."

I was shocked to learn that the villagers in Suna knew so little about what was happening in their own country. The Hokage kept some information secret that was true but for the most part he'd been honest and open about even dire situations. If the people are fore warned they're forearmed it was said. Having the support of your people was important that was why the Professor was so greatly loved and respected.

I began to wonder what sort of leader the Kazekage had been. Would his people mourn so publicly for their loss as the Konoha villagers had done?

The sun's rays beat down burning the back and scalp of my head. When the winds stopped the full intensity of the heat hit me I had no idea how powerful it was. My lips felt dry and forehead warm since I had no fringe to provide protection. There was a shine to my skin a band of light resting on the brown freckles that dotted my arms. A strange smell of oil and cooking skin was becoming steadily stronger. I decided to try and find shade before I got some nasty sunburn! As I stretched and squinted at the sunshine it was a ball of gold with spidery legs poking at different angles from the centre. The heat was engulfing everything even the fabric of my sakura shirt felt taut and rough now.

I sat down on a bench overshadowed by the roof of one of the shops and sighed.

"Rooba," the elderly woman from the stall came to join me a few moments later and introduced herself. "And what would a pretty youngster like you be wandering around here, asking such serious questions?" She readjusted her brown shawl wrapping it around her frail body.

"I'm sure you already know." I replied sceptically.

"As I told you before we are the last to know," she was speaking the truth. I began to explain what happened in Konoha with Kabuto the Sound Ninja, then onto becoming Ambassador and moving to Sunagakure trying to bring the two villages closer together. She listened without comment when I finished there was a pause and she gave me grin.

"Sending a young un like you out here, I've a mind to think your elders are a bunch of fruit bats! It is very nice to try to help but you'll have a rough time I'm afraid. It's not just relations between Konohagakure that are strained. The Kazekage, his…family and the citizens have never seen eye to eye. All that man did was act mysterious surrounded by worm tongued advisors and making moves without consulting anybody. Mind you who am I to complain? When the Daimyo lost his senses that was the beginning of everything – lack of money and rash men are always a _terrible_ combination. Ho, you may laugh, but don't be naïve, a desperate man with power can be very dangerous." She took a small fan from her robes and began waving it gently to and fro over her face.

"It sounds like Suna had a real stroke of bad luck."

"The Kazekage's hand was forced it was the Daimyo that decided to cut funds and gave missions to Konohagakure instead of us which was wrong, the village looked weak and that made life worse here. We couldn't trade with other merchants that used to come because the rates were too high. They went elsewhere and the economy suffered something wicked. The ninja forces were slashed we began to feel powerless. I didn't realise how bad things had got. We had no idea the Kazekage had waged war against the Leaf!"

"There's Leaf Ninja still stationed here I see. The little boy in the shop told me about the invasion. Was it really that bad? "

"Your ninja from are swift and to the point. Yes, there was some fighting but our armies were in Konoha there was no-one left to protect us. There was shouting and fires burning over the desert sands that night. The village was taken easily and our advisors held hostage. Things have relaxed a little in recent weeks but there are still patrols watching us. It's extremely unsettling with a stranger's eyes on you in your home. How would you feel? All we want is to get things back to normal."

"To be honest, I think my fellow kinsmen are fed up with being here too. I might not be able to do much but I can always ask Master Homura to send them home."

Rooba looked at me as a person may look with pity towards a court jester. She smirked and patted me lightly on the head as she went back to work. I gave a heavy sigh and wondered whether I should write home or not. It was about time for my first official letter as Ambassador and I had plenty to write about. The only question was, would anything I say make a damn difference?


	15. Murder in the Dark

**Chapter Fifteen – Murder in the Dark**

Master Homura took his time composing a response to my many questions. In the meantime I took regular visits to the village centre and spoke with Rooba who introduced me to the citizens. It took over another week for the letter to finally arrive containing the information I needed. Homura was interested to hear that the villagers believed that Konoha was responsible for the death of the Kazekage and that their lives were being disrupted by the ninja presence there. He agreed that the forces should withdraw as Suna posed no further danger. He encouraged me to announce this as an olive branch from one village to the other and set up a meeting with the Administration as soon as possible.

So it came that very evening I was escorted back to the large building in the village centre. I found myself surrounded by Gaara, Temari and Kankuro amongst another five advisors with their faces hidden by white coverings. This reminded me of the job interview Matron Shun gave when I first started nursing. So many faces staring at you it gave me the creeps.

"You have something to discuss," Gaara began the proceedings looking just as unhappy as I felt.

"Yes, I requested that the remaining Leaf ninja forces be removed from Suna and this has been accepted. Our leaders wish to offer this as a good will gesture and to show the trust placed within the treaty. I hope that it will relieve some of the tension felt by the villagers." I kept my voice steady focusing only on the business at hand.

"So what do you want, a pat on the back?" Temari piped up beside her brother. "You think one little favour is going to get you anywhere around here? You got the intruders to leave now why not take yourself back to Konohagakure!"

My hatred for the girl was increasing dramatically each time we met. Why was she so determined to have a fight? I ignored her and tried to continue with some degree of dignity. No matter what, I was not going to give her the satisfaction of knocking me down in front of the council. I was not going to run away, she could be damned before I let her win.

"As I was saying the villagers…there appears to be some confusion about the Kazekage. There are rumours that he is dead and nothing has been confirmed. The mood in town is restless they're not sure what is going on. Would it be possible to either confirm or deny the status of current leadership?"

There was no answer to this question, Temari and Kankuro instantly looked strained behind their wall of silence. There were mumblings from either side as the advisors whispered to each other. Only Gaara remained unmoved by the question and clasped his hands together.

"The Kazekage's body was discovered lying in the desert a month ago. It appears that he was murdered before the Chunin exams and that Orochimaru was responsible."

I was mortified the Kazekage had been dead all this time? Gaara was talking about him so impersonally, but I knew from Shiro that the fourth Kazekage had been the siblings' father. It was no wonder that his brother and sister sat so quietly trying to hide their grief. I thought about the death of my own father and how Naoki and I united in our sadness helped each other. I could feel my heart twinge a little as the memories flooded back. So much death had surrounded both villages it was inhumane not to be affected but his eyes were still trained on me awaiting the next topic of conversation. I tried to gather my thoughts all I could think about was how raw they must feel.

"I'm sorry to hear about your loss," I tried to mask the sympathy in my voice as I knew it would wind up Temari. She was drooping slightly her usually straight posture abandoned. "When is the funeral?"

"That is none of your concern." Gaara replied bluntly. I did expect that.

"No, I mean will an announcement be made so the citizens can pay their respects?"

Again, stone silence the meeting wasn't going so well. I tried to explain, "I think the villagers would appreciate the opportunity to say goodbye."

"They blamed him for everything. There's nobody here that's gonna lay flowers and cry, are you thick in the head or something?"

"Kankuro," Gaara spoke in a warning tone, "You're becoming a disgrace to the village."

"What the hell does she know anyway?" Kankuro shouted back at him. He stood up and banged both fists onto the table nearest to my side. I watched as it shook violently trying to remain composed, _why did I always say the wrong thing?_

"She's a cushy nurse living in the strongest village with the largest ninja population! What the fuck could she possibly know about us? You're sorry about our loss?" He sneered at me furiously. "You backward witch, they don't give a damn!"

There was a sharp crack and Kankuro's black form suddenly fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The sand rustled loudly and Gaara's face was emotionless but the eyes told a different story. They were glowing like white hot fire pulsing with menace. "Temari, get him out of here" he said quietly but the words growled deep within his throat. Kankuro struggled to sit up and winced as he stood on the ankle.

The red haired ninja turned back to me as though nothing out the ordinary had happened. I looked at Kankuro with concern and then back to Gaara.

"Will he be…he's just upset surely?" Somehow I found myself making excuses for the middle child. Considering how mean the ninja had been to me since I arrived it was surprising how worried I felt for his wellbeing. I wasn't quite sure what it was that disturbed me so much, I was frightened for him.

"Please, continue." Gaara insisted. I was being swept along by the efficiency and pace of the meeting. Everything was moving so quickly, before I had planned every detail there was so much I wanted to say but this had completely thrown me. The table was a metre long but suddenly the distance was too close. I was nervous sitting next to him knowing that he had deliberately hurt his own brother.

"Has a new Kazekage been chosen?" I mumbled taking a steady sip of the water laid out for the group.

There was a twisted smirk before he answered. "We are in the process of appointing a new leader. As of yet there has been no final decision, is that all?"

I considered what he had asked and then realised there was nothing else left to say. My brain hurt curiously for some reason. I nodded, thanking the advisors for their time and offered my continuing services to Sunagakure. I left the room feeling extremely small and insignificant.

Walking side by side with a silent Temari was a rare occasion. She was to escort me home but there were no sneers or twisted jokes to listen to. Her confidence was absent she was like an empty shell tonight staring ahead. I wondered if Kankuro was seriously hurt and if Gaara would punish him further for the outburst. I decided it was safer not to ask.

The moon was half full casting shadows through the wisps of purple cloud. The stars twinkled, their bright lights dotted throughout the cobalt night sky. There were familiar constellations but these were outweighed by others that I did not recognise. I thought about asking Temari about them, again I thought better of it.

Our footsteps were hollow along the hard ground for every step she took I caught up with two. She had a slight lead at least two inches taller than me.

"I hope you enjoyed yourself," her chin jutted out as she spoke.

Nothing was given for free with these people I thought suddenly it had to be extracted piece by piece. There were snippets of the truth buried underneath all the bravado and tough fronts they portrayed. With Temari the defensive wall was so high it touched the heavens themselves.

"I wasn't trying to get Kankuro into trouble," I sighed finally breaking the spell and hating my loathing for long pauses.

"The _hell_ you weren't!" there she was again, trying to get a rise out of me.

"The villagers I spoke to wanted to know the truth, Temari. Don't you listen?"

We continued walking briskly her face in profile lit against the white light of the moon. She was looking very tired. From time to time she clutched her stomach and wiped her brow which was coated in sweat despite the temperature being quite low.

"Temari, are you okay?" I asked bravely.

She flinched as though the concern of another caused her pain. This was familiar - irritable, snappy with stomach cramps I had a hunch what was going on. I could imagine Gaara and Kankuro giving their sister a wide berth when she acted like this. Living so closely with two brothers and no other female company must be quite hard.

"Are you on?" I laughed a little as the usually calm eyes ballooned and nearly popped out her skull. I suppose it must be a bit of a shock for Temari to be asked such a direct question.

"You can keep out of it!" she warned with an icy stare.

"Are the stomach cramps painful?" I pressed on - the nurse part of me taking over. "I could make a remedy for you that would really help."

"Just because I'm a woman it doesn't mean that I allow trivial things like _that_ to get in the way. It doesn't work like that in Suna. As I told you before we're not like other ninja, weakness is not tolerated in _any_ form."

I couldn't understand why she was so defensive about a period surely this was one time that a little sympathy could be accepted. It wasn't a sign of weakness to have cramps and to feel drained and grumpy at that time of the month. Most people understood - it was nature after all.

There was a shout from our left side and the next moment Temari had thrown my body to the floor and jumped on top of me. We both peered at the darkness ahead wondering what was out there. She crawled on her belly a little further scanning the area.

"Maybe it was someone walking home from the tavern?" I whispered.

"Shhh!" the Genin hissed through gritted teeth.

I heard a distinctive clink from behind me - a sword being drawn. I stayed still willing my body to sink into the ground where I lay which of course was impossible. Heavy footsteps drew near slow and deliberate. _Who the heck is that?_ I gulped and my muscles tensed up. Even in the moonlight it was too dark to see far and there were plenty of shadows to hide in. Temari was ahead scouting, how was I going to warn her?

"Death to the Leaf!" a shrill male cry rang out in the desert night that made my blood turn cold.

I was beginning to realise that my instinct for self preservation was quite strong. Rolling quickly away from the path I caught sight of a figure accelerating towards the female ninja.

"Temari!" I cried out in alarm.

She turned around with lightning reflexes and tried to disarm the crazed swordsman. Light glinted off the smooth metal surface of the blade. There was the clash of steel as sword met with fan a swift twist of hands trapped the weapon in the between the folds and she pulled both hard and fast. They struggled for a few moments bending forwards and back. I could hear her grunting with the effort and crunching sand as she shifted stance. The sword flew and crashed into the darkness leaving the aggressor exposed.

In triumph the victor pointed her fan towards the attacker and grinned. Suddenly there was a great gust of wind that erupted from two outstretched palms sending the sibling sister flying into the air. Making a quick recovery she retrieved the fan and prised it open. In mid air it was swung backwards sending a new blast of powerful energy racing towards the target. This knocked him clean away smacking his body against the ground. The skilled ninja landed firmly took the fan and snapped it shut.

"Who sent you?" Temari kicked him over roughly with a dusty foot. Her fan was poised above the spine of the young man "Tell me, or you'll never walk again I can promise you that."

"Go to hell, leaf lover!" he grunted into the dirt.

I watched with horror as she unmercifully drove the sharp steel edges of the folded concertina into the man's back. He winced as the steel began to crush the vertebrae and draw blood that looked black in the creamy moonlight. Temari bent over pushing down with more force and plucked the band from his head. She held it up studying the image carved into the steel.

"Another one," she frowned. "What was your mission?" A sharp dig of the foreign object embedded into his back made her trapped prey yell. His fingers grasped at the dirt as though in some way it could stop the agonising pain shooting through his spine.

"To assassinate the Ambassador." He gasped saliva now bubbling from the sides of his mouth. He coughed with more spots of black blood splattering onto the path.

"Good and now, who sent you?" I hugged myself staring at the man on the floor, the man who tried to kill me only moments ago. When he didn't answer the pressure was increased and still he refused to speak. I heard Temari mutter something about 'useless puppet' and took the metallic edge slamming it down hard into the man's skull. He screamed aloud, a ghastly sickening sound that ended abruptly. It took all I had not to scream with him. The body twitched and shook for a few seconds until at last it lay deathly still.

I turned the door handle to the house and collapsed inside. Shiro took one look at my face and went to make some very strong, sweet tea. Temari didn't leave immediately instead she leaned a carefree arm next the fireplace and stared into the orange flames.

Shiro stroked my hair determined to find out what had happened. "I'm okay, please don't fuss." The housekeeper pressed my fingers around the cup handle. I didn't want to explain straight away it would only make her panic.

"Can I see the headband?" Temari passed it over careful not to knock the tea. I could see the familiar leaf symbol carved into the steel but this particular band had a crude gash slicing in a straight line through the image. "He said death to the leaf," I recalled slowly.

"That's right. He was part of an anti-leaf group. I've heard reports about them before but we've never seen any in Suna. They don't belong to any particular hidden village they're acting on their own."

It sounded plausible and yet the way she was standing there so calmly made me suspicious. There was a growing knot in my gut caused by the ill thoughts sweeping into my mind. She was desperate to get rid of me, what if all of this had been a set up? Was she the type of person to scare another out of their wits to win? I wanted to believe that even Temari couldn't be capable of such an evil hoax. She'd been put in danger too it wasn't a rubber sword that struck her fan. If I accused her and was wrong it could make future meetings even more difficult. Then again, this was the perfect excuse for Konoha to call me back if my safety couldn't be guaranteed. That was exactly what she wanted! Perhaps that was why she was here to make sure I wrote a letter of resignation immediately to Master Homura.

The tea was boiling hot in my shaking hands but I couldn't get warm. There was an inner chill something to do with watching the life of another person being cut short so brutally. First the labourer from the hospital, then Matron Shun and Takumi my heart felt heavy. "How could you kill another human being so easily?"

"His mission was to assassinate you." She replied simply. "Be realistic Ambassador, it was either kill or be killed that's the way it works in these situations." She accepted the tea from Shiro and blew away the steam casually. "Make no mistake if I'd been killed in cold blood he would have shown no hesitation in slicing open your pretty neck. I'm surprised that this is only the _first_ attempt."

I couldn't deny she was right. In my naivety I hadn't expect resistance from anybody but of course the Leaf Village had its fair share of enemies. If there was one way to get back at the people they hated taking out a political figure would rank as an easy score. Being an Ambassador was hard enough without threats on your life!

"If you're going to survive the year," she said thoughtfully taking a swig of the tea. "We need to do something drastic. The fact is the more independent you are the less of a target you'll become."

"I thought you wanted me to leave?" my tone was wary I didn't want another argument right now. I was spooked and suspected that sleep would not come easily tonight.

"I can't see you packing your bags." She shrugged still gazing at the fire.

"That's because I'm not going anywhere. Just because someone tried to kill me doesn't mean I'm going to run away!" I snapped madly. _Why couldn't she understand? _

"And I can't keep saving your hide either!" she shot back. The two of us glared at each other neither backing down. "Look, if you want to stay fine - but you're a liability and we can't spare any ninja to baby sit."

"So, what do you suggest?" I asked squeezing every last amount of patience I had into the words.

"Training, self defence techniques maybe even some study strategy." I was gob smacked that wasn't the answer I expected! She'd said it was fine to stay but I had no idea she was serious.

"You would do that for me?"

"It would increase your chance of survival and give us a break," Temari spoke logically. "It makes sense to take precautions. I've got some time tomorrow if you meet me at the training grounds we can make a start." She placed the tea cup on the fire place and turned to leave. For the first time she considered me without sarcasm in her voice, "if you think you can handle it be there eight o'clock sharp."

"Wait!" I remembered and rushed to a drawer by my desk. I returned with a small bag of crushed bark and thrust it into her startled hand. "Take this with hot water it'll help with those cramps."

She raised an eyebrow in amusement, "Is it poison?"

"For goodness sake…are you suspicious about everything? Take it as a thank you for saving me."

"I won't go easy on you, Ambassador." She warned approaching the door.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I countered with a determined grin.

When she was gone I pulled a t-shirt and some shorts from my backpack folding them over the back of a chair. Shiro checked the windows and doors were secure. I went straight to bed and as expected didn't sleep a wink.


	16. Training

**Chapter Sixteen – Training**

A morning sunrise in Suna was I had to admit, a pleasant assault on the eyes. The soft pastel colours smudged together in a cascade. Nearest to the sand dunes in the distance was a slither of sunlight mixed in tones of light orange and golden yellow. Marginally higher up to where the stratus and cumulus clouds had gathered the purple hue was shadowed with burning red. Despite my hesitation to stay in the beginning the longer I stuck around the more reasons there were not to leave. Sunagakure was unveiling itself to me one sunrise at a time.

Despite the amazing backdrop I rubbed my eyes vigorously as they were still heavy and caked with sleep. At seven thirty there was barely a soul about. Those sensible people were probably tucked away in bed snatching a few more minute of precious, sweet sleep. They allowed themselves more time to day dream before the harsh break of daily life would come and rudely open the shutters.

The best time for me to be fully awake and alert was 11 o'clock. By eleven o'clock I'd have drank several cups of steaming tea, completed my first two rounds on the ward and there was only a single hour until lunch time. Here I was yawning and dragging my weary body along the dirt track which led towards the training grounds.

By five to eight I spotted what looked like an amphitheatre surrounded by stone steps that had been cut from the rock and smoothed over to provide seating. Around the outer edges was golden sand and in the centre brick red sand that had been disturbed with dozens of footprints. As I stepped into the middle of the grounds my eyes were peeled awaiting the unmerciful blond. With no idea what sadistic training regime Temari had thought of I was completely unprepared. My only comfort was that if I did fall flat on my face nobody would be able to see!

When ten minutes had passed after the designated time I began to wonder where Temari could be. She definitely said eight on the dot and there was no sign. Perhaps she'd changed her mind? Then I wondered whether she'd had an allergic reaction to the herbal remedy I gave her last night. What if she'd broken out in spots or was being violently sick cursing my name? No, don't be silly I scolded myself - cramp bark has been used for decades.

When I heard sandals crunching on the sand I jumped up enthusiastically, thank goodness she was okay!

"Gaara?" I couldn't mask the disappointment in my voice. "I thought Temari was coming to train with me?"

He stood tall, always the arms crossed and such a serious expression chiselled into his pale skinned face. The white cloth draped around his body flew in the light wind and the gourd as ever was securely fastened onto his back.

"Temari informed me of last night's events," he walked slowly towards me the turquoise eyes staring out from rings of black. "She has left the village to complete a mission and sends her apologies."

"I see, can't be helped. I'm glad she's feeling well enough to take on a mission. Guess I didn't poison her after all!" Gaara tilted his head at an angle unsure what I was mumbling about. "Never mind, guess I'll heading home then. Thank you for coming out here to tell me I'm sure you have a hundred other things you'd rather be doing!"

As I turned to leave Gaara stayed exactly where he was. "Do you not wish to train?" He asked without turning around. It felt strange being asked such a question when I was dressed for training and here at the grounds ready to go.

"I do, but I can't train myself. I wouldn't have a clue where to start and besides who's going to have time to train me, you?" I laughed at the intended joke. When Gaara still hadn't made a move I suddenly realised that in fact he was quite serious. A training session with the sand ninja who can transform into a demon, I suppose there were worse ways to spend a morning, even if I couldn't think of any right now!

He took a few steps back, "Engage me." He said without even blinking.

"I beg your pardon?" my throat went dry.

I really didn't want to attack him. There was a sense that even if I tried he would end up making a fool of me. He wouldn't just stand there and take it would he? I was deliberating over this when something hard and round made contact with my cheek. Flipping over backwards I could see the sky and then the red brick sand coming to meet me. The impact sent a small sand cloud into the air.

"THAT HURT!" I yelled back at Gaara, I'd been caught off guard by the sand. I brushed it roughly from my clothes and felt my cheek sore and throbbing. The bastard actually hit me!

"An assassin will not stand still waiting. If you have to think about whether you can hurt another, the likelihood of death is imminent."

_This is complete madness _I thought rushing towards him. I brought my left arm to my side and twisted aiming the punch directly towards his face. There was to be no satisfying revenge for me however as the sand jumped up in front of Gaara and I crashed into that instead. The punch connected but I was so shocked to see the yellow grains flying into my eyes I lost balance and was tossed away.

For a good ten minutes I threw punch after punch at my target trying to get through the protective screen. Every time I tried and failed miserably the shield would disappear and Gaara was left exposed as though there was nothing there. Yet, to get within a few metres and the sand would return chasing and thrashing towards me. Sweat was pouring down my neck, shoulders and forehead – this was pathetic I hadn't even touched him once!

"How can I punch you when sand gets in the way?" I growled in frustration. "It's hardly fair!"

The boy considered this and replied, "As I said before the sand and I are one you can not find one without the other."

"Well, what if you didn't have the sand. What if one day you weren't able to use it anymore?" I plucked a desperate response from thin air.

"That is… unlikely," his raspy, slow voice was becoming aggravated.

"Could you defend yourself without the sand?" I challenged him. "If all your attacks and defences are based on using the sand, what _would_ be left?" Gaara shifted uncomfortably perhaps thinking over the scenario.

He glared at me and then looked about him. A doppelganger rose from the sand dressed in exactly the same clothes as its master.

When satisfied he began loosening the buckles linked to the back support holding the gourd. When they came undone he set the calabash shaped object onto the ground and then stepped forward. He looked determined having made a firm decision I wasn't sure whether this would be good or bad news in the long run.

After a brief rest to regain my strength we continued once more in earnest. I tried again to land a punch on Gaara's cheek and even without the sand this time it was no contest. Whatever reliance I thought my sparring partner had on the sand it was not justified.

I was surprised at how fast he was. In all the time I'd known him Gaara was not the type of person to waste energy by recklessly jumping about. He was a lot faster without the gourd weighing him down but he didn't run. Instead his body twisted and spun dodging around his opponent. He never stayed close for long and only lashed out when he spotted an opening. I knew it was Gaara's fist ploughing into my face but when we made contact his skin was rough and gagged as rock.

Desperate not to be knocked to the ground again I blocked blindly with my wrists and inner arms which ached with the punishment. A glance showed bruises, cuts and grazes to my arms but I ignored them. An uppercut caught me off guard and sent me flying once more.

I lay on my sweaty back panting and gasping my fingertips sinking into the hot brick sand. I willed the intense sick feeling in my chest and stomach to go away. Above me set against the clear blue sky was Gaara with that strange red mark on his forehead. He didn't look particularly impressed,

"Keep your eyes open to avoid being struck," he pointed out.

"I kinda guessed." I could feel the heat of the midday sun warming my closed eyelids. "I'm sorry I misjudged you. A poor workman blames his tools I guess."

He nodded and asked, "Are you _unable_ to continue?"

I scowled at him. It didn't matter how Gaara phrased things he had a way of saying them that instantly got my back up.

"No, I came here to train and that is exactly what I am going to do," Gaara leaned against a column in the shadows. I joined him taking shaky sips from my near empty water bottle. Once more I attempted to hit him wondering if I was ever going to learn something rather than continue to fail.

By three in the afternoon I was dead on my feet I hadn't expected to be training this long. He was a bully forcing me to continue fighting knowing that I didn't have a chance. It felt like my limbs were turning to jelly and dissolving underneath me. After a final bout of sparring with punches, blocks and kicks I collapsed coughing and spluttering on my knees.

"You're weak," he huffed unsympathetically.

"I am trying my best," I panted. "I'm no ninja I've never trained like this before." Muscles shook and wobbled in parts of my body that I never knew existed. There were sore bruises on my arms, wrists, legs, thighs and my bottom was particularly tender. My skin felt tight it was burning as though heat was radiating from me. The nausea which had struck me before made an unwelcome return. As I hunched over on my hands and knees my body couldn't get up.

"Where is your power?" Gaara demanded.

"I don't know what you expect from me, but this is all the power I've got!" I wheezed desperately.

He was glaring again and I knew he didn't believe me.

"You have reached your limit, take some water." He offered the canister as I peered through strands of sweat soaked straw hair.

_Come on!_ I thought as my elbows and knees quivered underneath me. _It's all over, all I have to do is drag myself home, come on! _My body refused to leave this spot it was humiliating kneeling down like a dog on all fours. I had to sit up, lean against something - try to compose myself. It just wouldn't happen as I lifted my head and fell against one of the larger boulders I wanted to gag. _I can't be sick here. Not the sacred training grounds of Suna!_

There was a stinging in my eyes I was in so much pain and there was a tingling at the back of my throat. I forced myself to swallow and focused on the red sand, thankfully it passed. A few moments later I felt cold my skin was still on fire but I was shaking. There were convulsions powerful jerks that made my whole body tighten and shake. I clasped my arms around me trying to stop them. I was slumping against the stone sliding down the cool smooth surface.

"Take the water," Gaara was suddenly next to me holding up my head drawing the fresh water to my flaking dry lips. "You're not used to the temperatures here."

I didn't have the strength to reply the heat was still there even the water couldn't quench it. Every part of me ached, it was agony shaking and burning at the same time.

"I'll do better," I whispered before succumbing to the darkness. 


	17. Two for Tea

**Chapter Seventeen – Two for Tea**

I could hear noises in the distance the wind blowing hard through the trees making their branches bend and creak. The leaves with their once shiny green foliage now dying rustled and shook. Their brittle bodies clinging to the empty skeletal fingers that stretched with longing towards the sun. Finally with no power to resist the leaves are snatched away twirling and curling in the breeze. They blow down the road, past the flower shop and land with their kin to be swept up into piles by a broom. Then so many piles of crunchy leaves being thrown high by children shrieking and laughing, they run through them disturbing the peace.

"The leaves should be falling in Konoha by now," I mumbled through chapped lips.

"Ah, sleeping beauty awakes," the voice belonged to a woman, slightly croaky.

I could feel a hand caressing my forehead gently then something cold and soothing being applied. My eyes flickered open trying to register my surroundings and the two fussy faces standing over me. After a few more seconds Shiro came into focus with her green hair looking dishevelled and Rooba with a toothy smile. I twisted my head and instantly regretted it as my neck screamed in protest. It felt tight and sore my muscles contracting with a spasm.

"Now, you just stay still! What is it about the arrogance of youth that they believe they can take on the world even when they've been bedridden for a week?"

"I've been in bed for a week?" I asked in surprise.

"The most severe case of sunstroke I've ever seen. What possessed you to stay out in the Suna sun for hours on end? That pale skin of yours is going to be peeling ever more and by the end of it you'll have a tan to rival any local!"

"I was training with Gaara…most have worked too hard."

"Huh, that demon boy beat you black and blue. The swelling on your cheek was nearly the size of an apple and as for the bruises on the rest of you! Shiro nearly fainted when he came trampling in here and dumped you on the couch!"

"He brought me back here?" I wondered how tired he must have felt after training and then dragging me all the way back to the edge of town. "Gaara was training me to defend myself because the assassin came and Temari thought it would do some good."

"You're still in shock. I know how it must feel to be on the receiving end of that power after all, many villagers have felt the brunt of his unprovoked attacks. If you should look at him in a funny way the sand lashes out. It's happened many times especially when he was younger. He would wander around the village with those suspicious eyes always clutching some ugly bear. The children would be terrified and try to keep out his way but he would still hurt them deliberately."

I as a captive audience listened to Rooba sensing there was no point arguing at this moment in time. The story she portrayed was a sad one both for the children and for Gaara. I remembered the haiku he had written at the hospital:

_Monster from my birth_

_blood lust within to survive_

_detested by all._

What was life like for him at that time? I couldn't begin to imagine walking through the streets with whispers and unkind stares from your own people. Being left alone and having no one else to play with was every child's nightmare.

"Mark my words you will not be the last person to feel the wrath of that demon."

The elderly lady was trying to comfort me but I didn't like what I was hearing. It was as though she was talking about Gaara like he was some kind of myth – the beast of Suna. The way she spoke of him was a painting, caricature of the monster and demon that existed to frighten small children to behave well.

"Enough of that," I said brusquely. The old woman withdrew the cloth on my forehead and looked at me carefully. "He's a person and despite what you say he is capable of acts of great kindness."

"Ahh bumped your head as well I see…" she sighed brushing away my words. "You don't understand our history my dear. I told you before that the Daimyo cut resources to our troops in the hidden village."

"That's right it caused a lot of problems." I remembered vaguely.

"There was more, in an attempt to save face the Kazekage had to down size the ninja squads and make every man and woman count. He wanted the most skilled and talented - quality not quantity was the key. The best began training at a very young age with copious hours and hard work but this was not enough, what came next was bordering on the unthinkable. This thing called Gaara was never intended to be a person but a weapon to protect the village. When the Kazekage instructed one of our great elders to seal the spirit into a foetus inside the womb of his own wife it became a demon. We heard the screams and the curses echo across the dunes at the moment of its birth. The woman was spilt apart and a true monster was born.

The Kazekage was desperate to eliminate his mistake sending numerous assassins to murder his own son. We watched from behind closed shutters as the child walked alone in the darkness to be set upon and always the sand would protect the devil.

The very name Gaara means a demon that loves itself!"

Rooba's kindly eyes grew wide as she focused on the memories it was unnerving. So, this was the blanket of silence that kept Suna in check. Fear of an experiment that went badly wrong, a desperate short term solution to a long term problem that had spectacularly backfired. _What would I have done in his place?_ The question was a daunting one even for this fifteen year old. Who was responsible for sealing such a terrible curse inside a child? I wondered again. Suna had so many beautiful sights why tarnish it with such a callus act?

"Speaking of devils," she stood up and tipped her head towards the hall door. Shiro signalled to me drawing a cross on the left side of her forehead then two bunched fists at the back of the head. "I should send them away for now."

"No, let them come in. Rooba, why don't you help Shiro make some tea and bring it up, please?" Both women looked equally put out by such a suggestion. I could understand that they were concerned but their presence would probably make this meeting more awkward than it needed to be. The house keeper left the room opening the door for waddling Rooba and her clickerty clack walking stick.

Soon after Temari and Gaara stepped inside, the red haired boy stared at the floor refusing to look at me. His sister strolled over and sat on the chair next to the bed. I was expecting a lecture from her but the teal eyes gazed over my body no doubt taking in the wounds and bumps I'd accumulated during training. I tried to sit up in vain frustrated at my weakness.

"Fed up of lying down on the job?" she asked, when I rolled my eyes in response she roughly heaved me up. I felt dizzy for a few moments rubbing my temples.

"Yeah, about the _training_…" the words came out as though they were being extracted like teeth. "I never asked Gaara to be quite so tough on you. Training for eight hours straight without food in the burning sun is what we might call slightly _hardcore_ for a beginner. It wasn't exactly my intention to leave you in a comatose state, tempting as it is. My younger brother here has a habit of taking things a little too far."

"You said you wouldn't go easy on me," I recalled with a sly smile. "What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger, right?"

"As usual you are far too cheerful to be taken seriously," Temari smirked back. She examined one arm which was disgusting. There were blisters and giant white flakes of peeling skin coming away it was very sensitive to the touch. "Well, at least you won't stick out like a tourist anymore. We know you're a wimp so we brought something to help ease the pain."

"Is that your first attempt at an apology, Temari?" I said in mock astonishment.

"Don't push it, Leaf loser." Her lips were upturned slightly trying to hide a smile.

Gaara stepped forward holding a brown paper bag which he placed into my hands.

"That's an ointment which speeds up skin cell regeneration, "she explained. "After use your skin will be more resistant to the sun's rays. That's assuming you even bother to get out of your pit to feel the sun."

I laughed a little, "When I'm better I will start training again. Perhaps I might take things a little more slowly though," I eased myself higher up the bed. "I can't be taking sick leave every time I go to the training grounds. Master Homura might think I'm trying to pull a fast one!"

The atmosphere relaxed and Temari gave me snippets of news that I'd missed. There was a delivery from Konohagakure; a heavy wooden trunk and several packages. As I read the letter that had accompanied them it appeared that the collection was a gift from the high council. They were presents to help the Ambassador make a good impression and to offer advice and guidance about the role. _Why bother sending all this now?_ I considered in a daze.

"I really could have done with the help when I first arrived!" I grumbled. "Oh, they've appointed a new Hokage for the village that's good news. Wow, Lady Tsunade! I can't believe they managed to track her down after all these years that's really lucky."

Gaara coughed. Embarrassed I placed the official letter aside planning to return to it later.

There was a knock at the door and Shiro entered balancing an enormous metal tray with care and precision. She set down the tea with much relief on the dressing table and informed me with a note that Rooba had left rather abruptly. When I declined the offer of anything more she bowed and left the room again.

Gaara poured the tea trying to keep occupied and avoid discussion at all costs. Temari pulled up another chair towards the bed encouraging him to sit down he refused, then considering my discomfort from craning to speak with him he relented. Releasing the gourd and placing it against the wall he sat down. His whole body was stiff sitting perfectly upright with a straight back. It was laughable to see the stern ninja shifting and looking uncomfortable. I guess he wasn't used to socialising like this in a small group.

"So," I asked when there was a lull in the chitchat. "How are things?"

"The advisors actually considered what you said about the villagers," Temari began. They're making plans for public remembrance on Sunday. Following that there will be a private ceremony." The girl sipped her tea quietly as my mind boggled over the subject of choice. This was the last thing I expected to be talking about. "If you want to do something marginally useful you might consider joining the villagers in paying their respects as a Leaf representative."

"I'd be honoured." It was such an odd feeling being invited to take part in a Suna event.

"Thank you… Ambassador." There was an awkward pause. "I have to go and actually do some _work_," Temari said returning the tea cups to the tray. She nodded towards the red head and closed the door behind her.

Gaara sat quietly in the chair casting nervous glances in my direction. I was unsure what he was looking at then noticed the desert flower painting propped up on my bedside table. Our eyes met, immediately Gaara's face changed to the same one in the hospital like the raccoon trapped in a corner. He looked terribly self-conscious and could only sit there looking from the painting and then to me.

"Oh, that was a present from Baki a while ago. It's the same painting from the guest room in the administration building. Is there something wrong?"

Gaara's eyes widened slightly but then he shook his head. "No." he replied frowning completely lost. This was strange considering how controlled and confident he was in front of the high council.

"Worried about Sunday?" I hazard a guess and then hissed as a sharp pain shot through my spine. I closed my eyes leaning back on my arms until it passed. Gaara's frown grew deeper.

"What pain do you feel from the death of another?" he asked the question so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.

I blinked at him in shock and then realising I was being rude stopped. I thought for a moment, "The most painful thing about death I suppose is that you never know when it will happen. Someone important to you can be there one day and gone the next. You feel torn open and yet other times completely numb. There's an emptiness a void in your heart that never quite fills. You remember things about the person and share them with others - you grieve and feel the pain together."

Gaara nodded taking in my words attempting to make sense of them.

"What if you can not grieve with them?" his turquoise eyes looked so very sad.

"Everyone grieves in their own way. Just because some people claim to feel the loss more it doesn't mean that your pain is any less than theirs."

He grew silent fiddling with the buckles on his back brace. I wondered who it was he wanted to grieve with, was it the villagers or perhaps Temari and Kankuro?

After seeing what life was like for the siblings I understood why Gaara felt awkward. Aside from missions, training and eating together the Kazekage's children never had the time to develop relationships with each other. Kankuro was controlled by threat of punishment and death that Gaara held over him. Temari treated the boys as team mates rather than family. The power balance between the siblings was upside down with the youngest calling the shots. It must be a very stressful arrangement for all of them.

"I'm not quite sure why you're asking me all this. We've hardly said two words to each other since I came here."

He stood up suddenly, his head turned away drooping. His red hair was tussled the pangs draped, hiding his face.

"Thank you," he said turning his back to me.

"Gaara…?" I asked confused, but by then he'd already swept from the room.


	18. Life Cycle

**Chapter Eighteen – Life Cycle **

On Sunday it was an overcast cloudy day I opened the wooden trunk and tried to find some suitable garments to wear. Luckily enough there were black formal silk robes and a red sash to tie about the waist. I kept my hair neat in a simple plait and met Shiro at the porch. She too was dressed in black although in much simpler attire.

We walked together quietly down to the market square where a large altar was set up. There was no one about and my heart sank I had told Rooba to pass the message on. I didn't want the body to arrive with nobody to see it! To hear Temari and Kankuro say _'I told you so_' would set me back again. There must be someone in the village who respected the deceased Kazekage? Nerves of panic grew it was all my bright idea and the advisors thought enough about it to agree.

When Temari had invited me to attend I'd asked Shiro to explain how Suna conducted funerals. In response she filled five pages of parchment on the subject! Apparently it was common for a body to be burned as there were no trees nearby to source the wood needed for coffins. To import such resources for a traditional burial was not a cost effective exercise.

Bodies were cleansed and the orifices blocked with cotton. They were treated with salt and herbs to prevent any strong odours and slow down decomposition before the cremation. Once cremated the ashes were scattered to the winds so the soul may be free to cross over and begin its journey on the River of Three Crossings. Important figures were also remembered in the grave yard marked with stone mounds.

It had been a long wait for the Kazekage to finally receive closure. I knew that the man had been found before the chunin exams had even begun. The investigation into his death had been a long and thorough one. It must hurt to know that the body of a loved one is lying there waiting to rest in peace. To watch the days grow into weeks and stretch into months must be awful.

The procession appeared, silent figures walking in step to a slow and steady drum beat. The body was carried by a selection of sand ninja their steel head bands gleaming in the light. In their black tunics they cast long dark shadows on the sandy ground. The Kazekage was laid on the altar draped with smooth black silk. Several candles were lit and flowers laid next to a picture of the deceased man. He had reached his forties, a tall man with spiky brown hair and intense black eyes. There was no smile in the photograph only a rather serious but strangely familiar frown.

Shiro had taken the liberty of finding two beautiful snow white lilies to place on the altar. I bowed and placed my flower near to the photograph and said a quiet prayer. The house keeper repeated the same procedure and then suddenly tugged on my arm.

As I turned around to see what the matter was a small crowd of people had gathered in the market square. One by one they presented flowers and charms placing them carefully next to the Kazekage's body. I could see Rooba at the head of the group chanting a melody and pounding the ground at set intervals with her walking stick. The Suna villagers joined in with the chorus harmonising the same tune. It was both haunting and uplifting the hairs on the back of my neck jumped up.

It wasn't until after the song was finished that I could see Gaara, Temari, Kankuro and Baki behind the taller ninja that had been part of the procession. They were dressed in rather grand black kimonos aside from Kankuro who remained in his usual black ninja outfit. His hood was pulled back showing his brown spiky hair and the purple tribal marks were absent from his face. The three siblings stood by each other without speaking.

With time more people came and went, laying flowers so that the altar was overflowing with them. There was no rain fall as when the Hokage died the Suna sun shone brightly as ever on the villagers and the deceased. It was a stiff reception no tears were shed but the reverence was there and that was all that mattered. At noon the body was taken away from the market square to be cremated. Then all the villagers returned to their homes but did not work that day.

Two days had gone by since the funeral and I sat outside by the porch feeling quite bored. There was no news for Master Homura and I planned to give the Suna siblings some much needed time and space. What should an ambassador do if they have no official engagements? It was too soon to visit home the death of Matron Shun was sure to be fresh in people's minds. Then an idea formed in my mind something which would keep me busy and I grinned.

A few days later the package arrived with a curious letter from Master Homura which made me smile. I placed the apple barrel outside and closed the lid. With Shiro I dragged the heavy crate around to the back of the house. This was the part which although had a good dose of regular sunshine was overshadowed by the crumbling rock face. The soil here was very sandy and dry. I took a handful and played with it for a while before rubbing my hands together.

I wandered close to the inner village wall my eyes searching the ground for a small boulder. It didn't take long to find one of a reasonable size - I guess that rocks and debris tumble down the slopes quite regularly. With hammer and chisel in hand I began to shape the boulder a little and returned back to the house.

As I spread the crow black soil over the top of the sandy ground I heard whispers behind me. From the corner of my eye I could see small figures gingerly peeping out from the side of the house spying intently. Shiro raised an eyebrow but I put a finger to my lips. Our work continued and I whistled cheerfully while churning up the ground half a metre deep so that the fertile soil would mix with the dry one. Afterwards I dug a narrow trench surrounding the patch and created furrows dividing the land into squares.

"Why don't you grab a spade and help me?" I asked the children who were still hiding behind the house. There were gasps of panic followed by dead silence.

"I told you she'd spot us," one voice hissed with annoyance.

"You didn't have to come!" whined another.

"Now, she's gonna get the Leaf Ninja to slit our throats!"

"Stop trying to scare us…she can't do that, can she?" someone else whimpered.

"No, of course not." The first voice spoke again with reason.

"They'll have to catch us first!" a different voice pitched in.

"Hello there." I smiled kindly leaning against the house with my arms crossed.

The small group froze pointing and clutching their necks. There were three boys and a girl completely petrified like animals caught in a trap. Two of the boys were twins with long shaggy black hair and emerald green eyes. The girl was younger with blue hair tied back into an efficient ponytail; behind her was a smaller boy with brown curls clinging to his friend as though his life depended on it.

"I recognise you," I said slowly. "You're the grandson of the elderly man who owns the ink shop in the centre of town, aren't you?"

"Don't tell her nothing!" the girl glared back regaining her brave spirit.

"Oh lady, forgive me!" the smallest child burst out with uncontrollable guilt. "When all this strange stuff was arriving from Konoha and the man wouldn't tell us what it was… We didn't mean to follow you but Toshie wanted to know what you were doing with the stones so we were trying to work it out and the soil and the strange markings on the ground and…and….Grandfather will be angry and… please don't make the ninja come back and slit our throats!" the boy wailed loudly tears streaming down his cheeks.

"My goodness you have a good set of lungs, don't you?" I knelt down next to the boy and produced a tissue. "Here, now stop all this nonsense. It is not the Ambassador's job to behead children from other countries! In fact I'm pretty sure that you like your heads just the way they are, don't you?" The twins giggled.

"You're not going to send for the Leaf Ninja?" the boy enquired once more unable to believe his ears.

"Ninja have far more important things to do than to deal with nosy children!"

"Then, you're going to let us go?"

"Well now, I didn't quite say that," I grinned slyly.

"But, you said that Ninja…"

"You wanted to know what I was up to."

As I stood up and left the children they whispered together for a while. It wasn't long before curiosity got the better of them and they came to survey my work. Throughout the afternoon I was introduced personally to; twins Ayuta and Azuma, little Hiro and the only female of the group - Toshie. They were very quiet at first watching carefully every movement I made then the questions began followed by an eagerness to help. I sent Shiro to make my regular tea and some lemonade for the children. Their eyes lit up and they were amazed that people from the Land of Fire also drank lemonade!

According to the children everything about me was very strange; the way I looked and talked the house I lived in and the company I kept. Their parents disapproved of my appointment and were suspicious about my motives. They gossiped about the items in the deliveries from Konoha and wondered why the ninja patrols had suddenly upped and gone. I shook my head in disbelief when Toshie told me that her uncle even believed I was a witch sent to destroy the village.

"My mum says that you cast a magic spell to look pretty," Ayuta admitted and then went bright red when Azuma wolf whistled behind him. "Do you wear make up because really you're like sixty years old or something?"

"No!" I gasped in outrage.

"My brother says that you're here to cause trouble but Grandma Rooba thinks that he just hates everybody." Toshie smiled.

"Grandma Rooba?"

"Well, she's not _really_ my Grandma. She's hardly got any teeth but smiles a lot anyway. She's ancient and has loads of common sense. Everyone in the village likes her and whenever there's a problem they can go to her for help."

"Grandfather told Grandma Rooba that someone was trying to kill you and she got pretty mad." Hiro whispered to me afraid of being overheard.

"No, she got mad because your Grandfather said he didn't want to get involved – as usual." Azuma corrected, digging Hiro in the ribs.

I began to get the distinct impression that Hiro was the lowest in pecking order of the troop. Toshie was in charge and Azuma and Ayuta were thick as thieves always on the look out for the next distraction. They looked a handful but I could tell that underneath all that they were good kids. Shiro brought out the lemonade and some chocolate biscuits which were consumed within a matter of seconds.

"So, what is this all for, Mrs Ambassador?" Azuma spoke through a half chewed mouthful of biscuit.

"Well, it's basically a peace garden," I said. The confused and blank looks that followed didn't inspire any confidence. "It's a special place that you can always go to when you need time for yourself. It could be to daydream, try to think things through or perhaps just to get away from your worries."

"Why does it have to be a garden with flowers and stuff?" Ayuta showered me with biscuit charged spittle. _Do these kids have any manners?_ I thought with amusement.

"Well, in Konohagakure nature is very important to us because the trees protect the village and without flowers and plants we couldn't feed ourselves. I'm sure you already know that the desert is very barren." The children nodded. Nature, life, is a very precious thing. It's beautiful and very soothing too. I like to plant flowers in the garden so I can take care of them and watch them grow."

"We don't really have gardens here, lady." Hiro explained. "We have the greenhouse on the other side of the village though. We grow herbs and crops there and sometimes our school teacher takes us there to draw sketches so we can recognise the nice plants from the poisonous ones."

"It sounds wonderful, I'd really like to see that one day," I smiled.

Hiro's face fell, "Well, strangers are kinda banned from going there."

"Oh. That's okay I think that's probably very wise. Anyway, it might be a good idea to head back home before it gets dark. I wouldn't want your parents to think I'd kidnapped you, hmm?"

"Can we come and see you again?" Toshie asked shyly.

"I don't know whether that's a good idea…"

"But Mrs Ambassador, who's going to help you look after the peace garden?"

"Let me worry about that. Come on, I'll walk you back down to the path."

Reluctantly the children waved goodbye and set off back towards the centre of the village. Spending time with them had left a lump in my throat. I couldn't help but think of Naoki back in Konohagakure. Of all the letters I had sent to him there was not a single reply. Did he hate me? I wondered if Naruto was visiting him and if they got along. It would be a long time yet before I could find out.


	19. Hidden Depths

**Chapter Nineteen **

Time drew on in Suna and I realised that over six months had gone since the day I arrived. I began training again with Temari even though at times she tried my patience. The female ninja was an excellent teacher and gradually learned how to get the best out of me. She decided it was pointless trying to pass on her skills using the fan. An Ambassador doesn't make a habit of carrying such bulky items for combat. The element of surprise was our friend she constantly told me. The only weapon which made sense was either a dagger or perhaps shrunken tucked away in the folds of a kimono. If all else failed Taijutsu would be a safety valve.

For this reason all of our training sessions began with basic techniques for close quarter combat. I was improving slowly but kept forgetting the basics.

"Your stance should be balanced with the left foot in front and the right slightly to the side," once more she pushed me hard knocking my startled body to the ground. "This will prevent you from falling over." I hated _that_ smile, I really hated it!

I stood back up shakily clenching my teeth.

"Hold out your left arm and create a fist. _Do not_ place your thumb inside the fist otherwise you will break it when making contact. Ensure the knuckles are aligned and _do not_ lock the arm. Pull your inner arm towards to your side and keep it there. As you punch, the wrist and arm both twist, it is this momentum and action that provide the power for the punch. Your opposite arm should be pulled into your side the same as before."

"Yes, Temari," I groaned.

She studiously looked over my posture and checked the technique. Whenever there was a correction to be made my arms were pulled roughly into the correct position. She demonstrated the twist several times and I had to stifle giggles when I noticed even her hip was twisting with the motion.

We then worked for twenty minutes on blocks to counter the punches. I was shown how to use my hands to push attacks to the side and my arms to prevent attacks to the torso. The more robust blocks hurt my arms making them go red. Whenever the subject of taking a break came up I was denied. She was insistent on perfecting the basics. The Genin was meticulous in strategy; every stance had to be balanced, every punch had to be strong and the blocks performed correctly. Whenever I made an error I was floored and paid the price for lack of focus.

I never realised how much work there was involved to become 'merely competent'. Takumi told me once that his cousin (a ninja trainee) used to train up to seven hours in the forest everyday during the summer months. I thought he was pulling my leg making jokes because I was moaning about the length of a double shift. How wrong I was.

We took a brief break - that is, paired sit ups for five minutes which gave us a chance to talk. I held onto Temari's ankles as she pulled her upper body towards me, hands anchored behind her head. Up, pulse, pulse, pulse and down, she repeated the sets eight times and I felt exhausted just watching.

"After another week you can start learning to use your chakra effectively." she said breathlessly slumping down to the ground. "Come on, change over."

We swapped places, with Temari now locking my knees and using her weight as a balance. I was much slower but over time I noticed that I could do more sit ups than when we first began. My body felt energised and muscles toned but there was still plenty of work to be done.

"Are you going to teach me all that?" I asked huffing and puffing forcing myself to keep going.

"We'll target the arms next with press ups," she leaned over me with an evil smile.

"Oh joy," I scowled back. Despite the fitness training my arms didn't seem to keep up with the rest of my body. I found it difficult to lift weights above my head for long periods. The stinging and pain that I felt in my upper arms after press ups was excruciating and unfortunately Temari had worked this out very early on. If I was getting cocky or she wanted to take me down a peg or two just one mention of the dreaded press ups would have me quivering at the knees.

"Come on Yaz, you managed five whole ones yesterday!" Again, yet another annoying habit the female ninja had developed. After complaining about being called Ambassador constantly I begged Temari to call me something less formal for example – Yasu. Instead she had come up with possibly the most common sounding nickname imaginable. I tried to view it as a sign of affection or at least acceptance.

"Gaara will teach you how to manage chakra," Temari told me at the height of my sixth press up.

"What?" I lost control and crashed onto my elbows wincing with the pain. I wasn't sure whether I'd heard her right – more training with _Gaara_, after what happened last time?

"Kicks!" she chirped with enthusiasm leaving me in a tangled mess on the floor.

We followed the same pattern with Temari reminding me of the basics about technique and balance. Beginning with; front snap kick, side and the axe kick which I painfully mistimed and landed flat on my backside. All through my training and despite my many mistakes and embarrassing cock ups, Temari was adamant that the only way to improve would be to practise again and again. There was something to be said for all that but I had neither the patience nor stamina!

"I can't train with Gaara," I said seriously.

Temari threw the kick pad at me (a small padded leather pillow with a wooden handle) and I tensed up ready for the inevitable whiplash. The pad could be held out to the side turned upwards or sideways to practise different types of kicks. There was a sadistic determination in the way the ninja ploughed all her energy into a kick. Almost as unstoppable as a tornado, Temari was never satisfied until the pad was smacked clean out my hand.

"You haven't got a choice-" she grunted looking back at me with an immovable glare.

"You have to learn how to create defence barriers."

Sighing I ran to retrieve the pad and retook my position. Temari eyed the target and I watched in awe as she pivoted on her left foot and swung the right in a large powerful arch. The pad was snatched away and landed several metres behind me the force alone enough to break someone's arm! She performed the spinning crescent kick effortlessly, something I could only do in my wildest dreams.

Temari snatched the pad and held it in front of her. I began hopping from one foot to the other shuffling them quickly before swinging my right leg into the air. I brought the heel down into the centre of the pad watching it bend backwards before shooting back into place. It was a perfect axe kick and I was still standing!

"Someone's been practising…" Temari muttered under her breath. The remark was unnecessary but at that moment all I wanted to do was jump for joy and hug somebody – just not my trainer!

"So I'm not so useless after all?" I sang my face illuminated by a proud smile.

"It's a start," Temari huffed. "You've finally grasped the basics, but you've got a long way to go."

"Well, what exactly have we been doing for this past month?" I asked surprised.

"Yaz," she sighed. "The basics you've just learnt are the same level as a five year old at the ninja academy. I mastered every kick, punch and block within the first week. You really are just above a complete novice."

That was my bubble burst the feeling of deflation was quite overwhelming. I tried to remember that my goal was not to become a fully fledged ninja but to learn enough to survive assassination attacks. Temari had specialist training from Baki after all, an extremely gifted and talented man. I was learning the basics twice a week from the goodwill of a Genin.

"It's your turn," I sulked lowering my gaze towards the floor. Amused my partner shrugged her shoulders and prepared another spinning crescent kick on the opposite leg. In the middle of the kick however there was an alarming ripping sound. Temari cried out and then proceeded to curse rather loudly.

She growled tugging at the folds of her white dress. I went to take a closer look and discovered a large tear which began from her bust all the way down the side.

"I can sow that back together, no problem." I tried to soothe her but the ninja was inconsolable. She pathetically tried to place the folds of the material back together pretending that nothing had happened. She held the frayed stitching in her fingertips slowly becoming more and more hysterical. I knew karma had a way of giving payback but this wasn't what I expected! The girl was genuinely upset I could even see tears threatening to form in the teal blue eyes.

"Not this dress, damn it!" Temari swore quietly.

"It's only a dress…" I said lightly trying to put things into perspective.

"Don't you _dare_ say that," she hissed. I instantly backed off, the wall once more stacked up higher than it had ever been. I knew we'd been getting along far too well. We sat close together for twenty minutes in silence. Temari with her eyes boring into the ripped fabric and I thinking of a new haiku in my head. I suddenly remembered that I'd been here before in a hospital seven months ago waiting for time to pass.

"It belonged to my mother," she explained softly. "It was one of the few possessions that I managed to save. When my father..." Temari stopped, swallowing sharply. Her pretty face was twisted in knots.

"When did she die?" I asked.

"About twelve years ago."

"When Gaara was born?" When my companion looked toward me the sadness that was there a moment ago was replaced by fear.

"You know about him?" she asked horrified. I nodded slowly and placed a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"If you _ever_ tell anyone about this – I'll kill you," she breathed nosily through her nostrils and snapped her body away from me.

"What happened to your mother was pretty harsh…"

"Shut it, Leaf Loser!" Temari snarled clamping her hands over her ears.

"Have you ever talked about it with anyone?" I wondered whilst at the same time feeling sick to the stomach. "Why do you always have to be so tough Temari? I've heard some pretty rotten stuff about Suna; a corrupted Daimyo, the deceased Kazekage and Shukaku. The way you lost your mother when Gaara was born and how he's been treated?"

"Leave me alone," Temari warned bitterly. Her face crumbling, I knew at any moment there was the possibility of being smacked over the head with a large fan. However it was too late to back out now even if I wasn't exactly sure what I'd started.

I did the only thing I could and stood my ground.

"All this crap happened in Suna and you carry on like it's normal? How would the other four Hidden villages react if they knew that Suna was making weapons from its own people?"

"So go ahead and tell them!" Temari blurted out. "I don't give a damn anymore. If you want to be a traitor then go ahead and do it. Tell them how Suna is falling apart; tell them how my father was murdered, how his men carried out the orders of Orochimaru because they were too blind and stupid not to notice!"

"Temari…" the name tumbled out pathetically.

"I tried you know." She pointed a stubby finger directly at my nose. "I questioned Baki; I asked him why we should begin another war when we've only just secured peace? He said it was the will of the Kazekage and I just accepted that. Except it wasn't even the _right man._ We played straight into his hands. We did exactly what he wanted us to do and in the meantime my father was rotting in the desert several miles away. Nobody even knew he was gone!" she laughed insanely. "They never questioned his actions…never thought that he was acting strange. His closest advisors and the elders didn't even notice that their leader _was gone_."

In a maddened temper she threw the pad away and collapsed in a heap. I stood there feeling ashamed my guts turning inside out. This was my work – well done. I'd managed to get my own back but there was no sense of triumph or glory. I watched Temari silently weeping in a tight ball of pain. No matter how bad the ninja had made me feel she didn't deserve this. What had happened to me?

"I'm sorry," my own cheeks were becoming wet. I sat beside my companion and held the shuddering form close. She didn't flinch there was no fight left inside anymore. I listened to the whimpers and chokes as she struggled to regain control. What becomes of a person who can not release their grief and puts on a front for most of their life? I began to realise that such a person becomes Temari, who mocks and belittles you because it makes them feel a hell of a lot better.

After a time the wind was becoming chilly. She picked herself up looking at me strangely. "You're pretty weird, you know that?"

"Weird? Me? Absolutely!" I winked back. "How about we go into town and kit you out in some new ninja gear? That dress needs to be sown together and protected in a box somewhere not damaged further, right?"

"Yeah," Temari agreed a wry smile escaping her lips. "Let's go."

We walked into town with no further word of what had happened during training. A fresh start was a fresh start and I knew all about those. Our eyes had dried and we casually wandered from stall to stall looking at the more athletic attire of t-shirts and shorts. She was obsessed with wearing something black until I compared her with Kankurou

"How can we tell the pair of you apart?" I joked opening the door into a much larger clothing store. As we glanced through the racks I tried to convince my friend to consider a more feminine style pulling out a selection of dresses from lemon to rose, but she shook her head wildly. There was all manner of clothing in here for lots of different occasions; beautiful long sleeved furisodes, tomesode kimonos for married women, hakama skirts, jinbei for nightwear and uwagi for ninja trainees. I became lost in the sheer variety of designs and colours all painstakingly made in rich silk. The price tags made my breath hitch and I politely returned a yukata back to the rack that would quite happily eat up three months worth of my nurse wages.

"Now, this could work," I spotted something promising, "Hmm, smart top,"

"It's purple!" Temari stiffened crossing her arms firmly.

"The Feudal Lord wears purple, it signifies power," I insisted trying to be persuasive. "Hang on a minute. There were some vest tops here a moment ago, aha and you can still wear that around the waist. Maybe trousers… no a skirt definitely a skirt and maybe we can recycle those mesh things. " I threw the garments at my startled companion who caught them in both hands. "Come on, dressing room let's have a look!" Temari had zero time to argue as I ushered her into the back of the store. The owner was sniggering ever so slightly at the scene.

Over ten minutes later I was still waiting for the results of the makeover to emerge. It had gone very quiet in the dressing room. _I did pick the correct size didn't I? _I worried suddenly, convinced that Temari was stuck in clothing too small and worse still too stubborn to ask for help. I tapped my foot and sighed impatiently.

Giving up I went for another browse and came across the male section of the store. I held up a fluorescent green shirt with orange buttons. It was completely hideous and as I conjured up an image of Kankurou wearing the garment I snorted with laughter. Forcing myself to stop laughing I thought about the middle sand sibling seriously for a moment. The last time I had seen him was back in the administration building.

"Temari," I asked. "How's Kankurou doing these days?"

"Moaning like always," was the curt reply. "He's been to the Hidden Leaf to visit that new Hokage of yours."

"Oh. I didn't receive a letter or anything." I tried to hide the puzzlement in my voice.

"He's due back tonight," she replied through a symphony of zipping, rustling, grunting and crunching. "Hey Yaz, I need a larger vest this is too tight."

"Sure, be right back." I strode over to the ninja gear and retrieved another vest. There were a few weapons also sold here I noticed in particular large, shiny swords with intricate patterns carved onto the handles. The steel was also engraved with what I assumed was the store logo. This was most certainly a place where any ninja could buy anything their hearts desired.

"Temari," I asked once more passing the vest behind the curtain. "I was thinking of getting Baki a little present or something. Do you have any ideas?"

"You want to buy Baki a gift?" she scoffed at the thought. "Whatever for?"

"Well, it was to say thank you. Do you remember that first night when I arrived and I saw the painting of the desert flower? Kankurou brought me a package with the painting inside but he wouldn't tell me who it was from. I kinda guessed it would be from Baki…so, I thought it would be polite to return the favour. You know him better than anyone."

There was a deliberate pause. "You really are dim sometimes, Ambassador. It wasn't Baki who gave you the painting." the female ninja said finally, her voice sounding muffled.

"But then who?" I began, scratching my head in confusion.

Temari ripped back the curtain and stepped out. She appeared to be satisfied with the new look; the lilac top was feminine with even a faint hint of a bosom seen from the v-neck. For protection a white vest was strapped across her chest and secured with ties at the back. She had taken the red sash from her original dress and tied it about the waist. Complete with a short navy blue skirt and mesh coverings pulled up from her right ankle and the top of her left thigh.

"That really suits you!" I gave her a massive thumbs up to which Temari simply nodded. She looked back at herself in the looking glass admiring the reflection.

"It was Gaara," she said abruptly turning back around. "Gaara gave you the painting." At this she collected her belongings and walked to the store owner to pay.

I stood still a little shocked at the news. The shock immediately melted into guilt. That strange night when Gaara had stayed behind to talk, the way he was glancing at the painting, I understood now. He'd wanted to know if I liked the gift, _his_ gift. In horror I recalled exactly what I'd said:

"_Oh, that was a present from Baki a while ago. It's the same painting from the guest room in the administration building. Is there something wrong?" _

I winced in spite of myself, how completely insensitive can one person be?

"Yaz, you coming?" Temari called out near the shop entrance disturbing my thoughts. I sighed and shook my head.

"I'm going to hang around a little longer. Can you let me know when Kankurou returns from Konoha, please?" she rolled her eyes and then left me alone in the store.

"Are you looking for something special, madam?" the curious owner asked.

"I have absolutely no idea where to even begin…" I told him honestly.


	20. The Mission

**Chapter Twenty – The Mission**

It was late in the evening when Kankurou finally returned. He wasn't happy, the indigo paint around his eyes made them look even more menacing than usual. His black ninja suit was creased and wrinkled. There were chalky marks left from dust collected on the road. The circle emblem on his chest was half golden yellow and the other half indigo to match his warrior paint. The strange object he always carried on his back was wrapped in white bandages which looked ripped and tattered. Taller than both Temari and Gaara, he cut an impressive figure.

"Trouble?" Gaara asked surveying his battle weary brother.

"Yeah, someone thought they'd stop me returning to Suna with the message. I soon put them straight," he yawned. "Hardly worth the bother."

There was no greeting from the middle child as he plucked a scroll from his pocket and began to read in a bored tone.

"To our allies from the Sand, I – Tsunade, Godaime Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves have need of your assistance.

One of our most talented ninja, Sasuke Uchiha the last surviving member of the Uchiha clan has renounced his loyalties to the Leaf. He seeks to gain power from joining the ranks of Orochimaru. Needless to say this is a situation which must not happen if we wish to ensure the safety of both villages.

Presently a team of five Genin: Neji Hyuga, Kiba Inuzuka, Choji Akimichi, Naruto Uzumaki and leader Shikamaru Nara, have been dispatched to stop Uchiha. Although these young ninja are some of our most gifted I believe it is wise to proceed with caution. I'm no fool the Sound Ninja Four were trained and manipulated by Orochimaru himself. They are capable of anything even overpowering a team of five highly trained Genin.

I ask for the expertise of any sand ninja you can spare to take on the same mission and aid the retrieval team. I cannot express strongly enough the importance of the mission. This could be an opportunity to further strengthen trust and relations between our two countries.

Whether or not you decide to prevent such a danger is your decision alone. However it would be appreciated if your final decision be made known to our Ambassador who may complete the necessary correspondence. I wait eagerly for your swift response, the Fifth Hokage."

Kankurou made to tear the scroll in half before it was snatched away by Temari. I was completely stunned yet another of our own ninja had betrayed us. I looked around the room trying to gauge the response from Suna's advisors. There were murmurs and ramblings the white curtains shrouding their faces twitched. Some shook their heads and others shrugged their shoulders.

"We have enough problems of our own to contend with," one man whispered into Gaara's ear. "To send even one of our troops would weaken Suna's defences greatly. The Leaf can afford to lose men we however cannot. The Village needs to feel secure if we send away our best the civilians will lose confidence. If Orochimaru should counter attack…"

"Orochimaru is incapacitated at this present time," I interrupted suddenly. "I was informed that the Third Hokage before his death was able to seal the traitor's arms. The seal prevents its victim from casting jutsu. It is highly unlikely that Orochimaru will attack Suna in this weakened state."

"Well, you kept _that_ quiet," Kankurou said slyly looking towards his sister.

"The information was strictly on a need to know basis." I snapped back at him. "If the Hokage is worried enough to ask for help you must listen to her. You've seen with your own eyes what Orochimaru can do. If he starts recruiting ninja from our own villages he'll become unstoppable, with or without his jutsu."

"The opportunity to strengthen relations between our two countries? Your Hokage talks a load of crap!"

"If you asked for help our village would take on the mission without hesitation."

"If you'd told us that Orochimaru was injured we could have tracked him down months ago and be rid of him. In fact if you'd told us, this threat would never have happened. Instead you wait until one of your ninja goes AWOL and then you want _us _to do something about it! You want us to risk our butts because your Genin are too weak to finish the job? Man, that is just embarrassing!"

For some reason everyone looked to Gaara waiting to hear what he had to say.

"We owe the Leaf a great debt." He said slowly his eyes gazing past the audience in the room to the porthole window. It was almost as though he was in a daydream the eyes vacant. No more needed to be said it seemed the advisors bowed and stood to leave.

"May I speak with you one moment please?" I asked Gaara with a lump in my throat. He nodded

Temari dragged a reluctant Kankurou by the arm towards the screen door.

They left us alone and my sweaty hands clutched the wrapped box close to my chest. Gaara waited patiently for me to say something but I was unsure how to proceed. I wanted so desperately to put things right, I'd made such an embarrassing mistake. I realised that I was inhaling rapidly and it was becoming difficult to breathe.

"We do need to leave immediately, Ambassador." Gaara reminded me.

"Yes, yes of course, sorry." I squeaked and then exhaled rather loudly. He was still looking at me perplexed. "Right, okay. A while ago you came to see me and I told you that Baki had given me a painting. I was in error and I apologise if I offended you in any way. Erm…to make amends I bought you this," I offered the box. He rose from the table but did not take it.

"It's not just a box there's something inside it," I told him and promptly wanted to smack myself for saying such a stupid thing.

Gaara was staring at the brown box tied with a ruby red ribbon. He surveyed the box as though it may contain something dangerous. His suspicious green eyes flickered from one side to the other. Then he swallowed and looked back at me as though he was unsure what to do next.

"You have to open it?" I suggested.

Gaara licked his bottom lip and nodded. He was nervous I realised. He was opening a present, why was he nervous? He pulled one end of the ribbon and it fell away in twists onto the dark oak table. Awkwardly he opened the lid. His eyes widened in response and he reached inside releasing the gift from the confines of the box. He held up the garment and smoothed it gently back onto the table.

It was a coat, claret red on the outside with grey inner lining. It was made from cotton drill, light but quite tough. The coat was spilt at the front and tail to allow ease of movement. The neck line was high and could be completely buttoned up.

I remained seated clasping my hands together on my lap. Anxiously I waited but he never spoke only blinking and staring at the foreign object in front of him. My stomach lurched._ He hates it,_ I thought sadly. It had taken such a long time to decide and the shop keeper had even stayed open late to help me choose. Then I realised that I was being ridiculous - this was the deceased Kazekage's son. In his lifetime he had probably received thousands of gifts, why should mine be given any special recognition?

"Good luck with the mission," I mumbled trying to be professional. The shining racoon eyes softened but I didn't see them. I was annoyed that he hadn't said a single word, was he playing with me? If he hated the coat that much he could just say so instead of standing there.

My temper flared, was it beyond him to compliment the effort or even simply to mutter a brief thank you? This self centred fury that I felt had come out of nowhere. It wasn't like me to have such venomous thoughts I usually tried to look at things from all points of view. That was Yasu Katashi; open minded, understanding and receptive.

Tonight I wasn't in the mood to tolerate silence as a form of communication anymore.

"Excuse me," I jumped up and stormed out the room without the formal departure. I passed Temari who threw a questioning look in my direction but I didn't stop. Picking up my skirts I forced myself to power walk back to the house. Why did I feel so angry? It was only a gift from the Ambassador for goodness sake. I slammed the door in frustration and barked at Shiro to leave me be.

In my darkened room I sank onto the bed. I listened to the stillness and the quiet ticking of the clock. It had been a long day. I would have to apologise to Shiro in the morning for being so rude. As for Gaara…the mission was a dangerous one. I was concerned for all of them Suna couldn't afford to lose three of its best ninja to Orochimaru's henchmen. I picked up the desert flower painting from my bedside table and gently wiped away imaginary traces of dust.

There was no reason to run away like that.

What if they never came back?


	21. Old and Young

**Chapter Twenty One **– **Old and Young**

I wrote with relief to the Godaime Hokage giving details about the Sand's swift action. At least it might seem to the Lady Tsunade that my performance as Ambassador was satisfactory. I knew at some point a visit home and formal introduction would be expected. I sighed. Over time I had convinced myself that being here in Suna was a good thing for me. But it was Mitokado Homura who gave me the job and now there was a new leader, my time in the Land of Wind could be up. I would have no choice but to return home and finally face the inconvenient questions and gossip of the villagers. As much as I loved my home, being the centre of attention for all the wrong reasons made me feel ill. I only had to remember the slander against the Uchiha clan to recognise how cruel people could be.

No one would understand what I went through with Kabuto it had taken many months for the nightmares to stop. I was forever jumping at the sound of shrunken thrown through the air and was particularly wary of young men who smiled at me and wore glasses. If I was ever unlucky enough to meet Yakushi in a dark alley I wasn't sure how I'd react; whether I'd forget my training and run, or without hesitation knock his block off!

The days that followed were painfully slow with requests for news yielding nothing useful. Against my better judgement and possibly due to loneliness, I allowed the children to tend the peace garden. They seemed happy ploughing the soil with sticks and carefully watering the bulbs.

Ayuta suddenly frowned with disapproval at the flower patch and spun to find me. "Mrs Ambassador, how are you gonna protect the flowers when they're fully grown? The sand storms will blow them away you know!"

"Master Gaara will teach me how to create barriers using chakra," I reassured the twin and remembering what Temari had mentioned during training. "I'm pretty sure I can create a small protection shield around them – at least during a storm."

The children looked at me their mouths gaping open and faces pale.

"Whatever is the matter?" I asked with concern.

"Lady, you can't train with _him,_" Hiro whispered, looking around fearfully in case Gaara was hiding about to pounce on him. "He's nasty and he'll kill you with one blast of his sand!"

"And I suppose I'm still a witch that will bring Suna to its knees?" I asked with more than a hint of sarcasm. Dusting off the soil from my trousers I stood up and looked hard at Hiro who was now staring at the floor trying to avoid my eye.

"But he's got a monster inside him and when he gets mad my grandfather says he makes the sand hurt people. It's the truth!" he squeaked, head bowed to the ground. The other children nodded and although they did not voice their agreement with Hiro, I knew that their thoughts were the same.

I sighed and shook my head, how could Gaara compete with this? One generation had already turned against him and now it seemed history was repeating itself with the next. I still felt anger towards the red head even after several days but it wasn't right to hear the children talking this way. I asked them seriously if Gaara had ever hurt them and they had to admit (after pinning them down) that he had not. In fact rarely had any of the villagers seen Gaara walking around the village in broad daylight since his return from Konohagakure. The children were afraid because their parents were afraid that was the bottom line.

Ayuta tugged on my arm and waved a small hand towards my face. As I looked down at him waking from my daydream I realised that the future of the village was still on shaky ground. More than likely one of the Suna siblings would be chosen as the next Kazekage. Perhaps I should be making better use of my time to try and build some bridges while they were gone.

"Master Gaara and the others are trying very hard to keep the village safe-" I began.

"But he hurts people!" Toshie countered immediately. "He hurt you! Grandma Rooba told us - you were in bed for a whole week because he beat you up."

Evidently building _this_ bridge was going to take longer than most.

"That's true," I said slowly recognising that sugar coating the incident wouldn't satisfy Toshie. "But I forgave him for that a long time ago."

"You did?" her head jerked backwards with confusion. "Why would you do that?"

"Because everyone makes mistakes and if they genuinely try to make amends you should always give them a second chance," the child pouted her small red lips, I continued, taking no notice. "I bet you're fallen out with Hiro here more than a few times in the past?"

"Some friend that beats you black and blue," she replied defiantly with a flick of blue hair. "I bet he never even said sorry! If you had any sense you wouldn't go near him ever again."

"It's a part of my job to meet regularly with the members of the council and that includes Gaara. As Ambassador you have to try to get along with lots of important people in Suna. You can't just pick and choose who you want to speak to."

"I don't understand," Hiro shrugged his shoulders. "Why bother with strangers you don't know, people you might not even like?"

"Hmm, why indeed," I winked at him. "Tell me, what is the desert made from?" The boy picked up a handful of sand from the floor and shrugged. "Show me," I said gently and Hiro came closer tipping the yellow dust into my own hands. "These are grains of sand and the desert is made up of thousands upon thousands of these tiny particles. When they come together you can see them for miles around in every direction you can think of. What do you think might happen to the desert if over time the grains scattered away from one another?"

"There would be no desert?" Hiro enquired gingerly.

"Yes, now imagine that the desert is Suna and each grain of sand represents the people of this village. It doesn't matter whether you're the Kazekage, a ninja, civilian or even Grandma Rooba without all the grains joined together there is no Sunagakure. Each person has a part to play no matter who they are and I respect that, _you should too_." I snapped sharply at Toshie who was rolling her eyes in mock boredom. For the first time since I'd met the young girl there was no quick retort only the faintest blush of shame across her cheeks.

* * *

One afternoon I found myself drinking sweet tea outside Grandma Rooba's front porch. She sat on a straw woven chair her bare feet brushing against the heat and dust of the clay floor. The pashmina she always wore was loose about the shoulders allowing some breeze to reach her wrinkled arms. In comparison I had dressed in a peach silk blouse and white trousers. My hair was tied neatly into a bun and secured with a green emerald hairpin.

We talked about the funeral of the Kazekage and very briefly about Gaara. The elderly lady was beginning to mind her tongue about the late Kazekage's son. We'd agreed to differ about whether he was a monster or not. In a way I was glad more for the sake of our friendship than anything else.

Rooba took a pipe from her pocket and began to press a strong scented weed into the bowl, lighting it carefully. I watched as she took a few puffs and then blew smoke rings into the air. They took off in the light breeze and travelled south towards the main square before slowly disappearing. Her eyelids were crinkled and slightly obscured her vision, but I knew that those twinkling onyx spheres were watching me very closely.

"I see you've made friends with some of the children," she grinned turning over a creased card to reveal a pink flower with five petals.

"Yes," I replied defensively. "They like to help with the peace garden." The elderly lady smiled but it was a sad smile. She leaned to one side of her chair and came nearer to me.

"I'm getting old," she confided smacking her lips together and taking another long drag. Afterwards as she coughed her whole fragile body shook. She was so thin I realised that the bones of her knuckles and collar bone almost protruded through the skin. I gazed at the cards for a little while wondering whether to check out the corners first or just take a chance in the middle. I turned over a leaf followed by thunder clouds and threw them back in disgust - just my luck.

"It's a waste that the children of the village have no interest in the teachings of their elders. The past it seems, our history before the fourth Kazekage is a blank void. Don't you agree? Of course you do!" she moved on quickly before I had the chance to open my mouth.

"The young are so easily swept away with the entrapments of excitement and danger. They always want everything _now_, have you noticed that? Aside of course from the shinobi trainees who are disciplined by their sensei, but the civilian children are not the same." She plucked another card from the bottom row, a flower quickly followed by the other.

As my skin soaked up the sun's rays my ears caught the sound of an instrument being played. I turned around in my chair searching for the source. It was a string instrument being plucked at set intervals by an elderly man.

"That's beautiful," I said to Grandma Rooba and she nodded turning yet another card.

"Ongaku has been playing the koto since I was a young girl. He was teaching his son how to play but the youngster entered ninja school and pays no heed to his lessons anymore. When Ongaku dies there will be no one left in the village that can play those strings and their melodies will cease to exist. It's a tragedy that the traditional ways are dying out. Some afternoons we elders come together and remind ourselves of the old Suna, before that wretched Daimyo and try to salvage what little comfort we can. There are others you know that play the fue and taiko and some even dance!"

The thought of watching children dancing in the streets of Suna wasn't an easy image to conjure up. What Grandma Rooba described was a crowd of people in a circle following each other stepping in time to the beat of a large drum. The girls held straw hats entwined with flowers and the boys had fans decorated with a family emblem.

She laughed softly, "I would love to see fresh blood tackle those tricky steps. It's a lot harder than it looks, takes patience and dedication to master. I can't remember the last time all the villagers got together. Seems people prefer to be cooped up in their own worlds rather than actually being a community – ha! I wonder if anyone will even miss the music and dancing when we're gone."

These seemed to be throw away comments - the ramblings of a grumpy old woman.

"Surely you must have some way of preserving your own culture?" I raised an eyebrow wondering where the topic of conversation was headed. "You're one of the largest Hidden Villages in the world! Don't you have schools where you can teach traditional music and dancing?" I was still deliberating over the second choice of card.

"With the troubles we've had in recent years that would be last thing on any Kazekage's mind! The talent of youth is being spent on the military; musicians, writers, artists, dancers, - any training within the performing arts is a luxury. In the meantime the civilians are stuck in a limbo of insecurity and lose their sense of self day by day." The elderly lady smacked her palm onto the small table scattering the cards from the table. "Yasu," she commanded. "_You_ have to do something!"

It was a fight but somehow I managed to force the sweet tea I had just swallowed back down my throat. What exactly did this old coot expect me to pull off anyway?

I placed the cup carefully onto the table and weakly grinned back at her. She was up to something I could feel it. Like Matron Shun and Doctor Sora before the little cogs in her brain were working overtime.

"I can't kidnap the children and bring them to you to learn music!" I protested trying to stop whatever she was scheming.

"Oh and here's me thinking you were a creative thinker! Dull, dull and dull! Yasu do better!" she looked disappointed and sulked. "Think of the solution Ambassador, I know you can! That's your job isn't it?"

"Umm well," I couldn't deny that. "We'd have to think of a reason to get the elders and the children together. Something fun I guess…a performance with dancing and music. There has to be a reason though. I think a celebration like Bon Odori - with that sentiment and then take all the arts that have lagged behind and showcase them. That's it, an annual event! Something that shows Suna is moving forward again and the past will not be forgotten, a festival of change."

"Perfect Yasu," Grandma Rooba purred and tapped me on the head affectionately. "I'll leave it in your hands then."

"What? Hey, now just a minute…" My shoulders slumped in realisation. I saw it coming! How did that mischievous old minx manage to twist… it was too late, the other elders gave a round of applause and whoops of encouragement. They told me how happy I'd made them feel and how much they were looking forward to the festival. The word had already begun to spread from door to door - the Ambassador was organising a festival in honour of Suna. I couldn't do anything about it and in shock I sat there glaring at Grandma Rooba.

She bowed her head desperately keeping her laughter within from exploding at my expense. There were some things that never changed - adults would find a way to make you do jobs that they never want to do. It was then I noticed the surviving card on the table, I turned it over another green leaf to match the card I already held.

"Seems even the cards have chosen you," Rooba finally cackled. "Don't let us elders down, Lady Leaf. This could be the most important task that you complete in your entire career!"

So that was how the whole sorry scenario began, tricked by an old woman into organising the biggest event in Sunagakure's recent history. Somehow against all the odds I would have to make this work even if it killed me.


	22. An Unexpected Turn

**Chapter 22 –** An Unexpected Turn

I sat out on the porch steps looking at the moon as faint hints of cloud drifted across the milky face. If my eyes squinted enough a green, purple and black haze framed the moon and blended the colours together. A faint sense of dread still clung to me even after I'd thrown open the doors to the night to escape it.

Anyone passing my residence tonight would no doubt shake their heads and wonder what I was doing sitting outside in my night attire. Then again they'd not endured another half nightmare about an assassination attempt on their life. I say a half nightmare as my brain was aware the dream was taking a distinctly uncomfortable turn. It was a dream and therefore I could open my eyes deal with my thundering heartbeat and reassure myself that it was not real. The knife slitting across my throat _was not real_ and there was no point staying in the dream to find out what happened next.

I carefully picked up the long stringed instrument and laid it flat on the floor. It was a weight, just under two metres long and made from kiri wood. I recited the scale that Ongaku had shown me and insisted that I practise each day. The thirteen strings stretched over the small white bridges that maintained the pitch. I plucked at the strings half heartedly with my thumb, humming the notes quietly. Why the old man had presented the instrument to me was a mystery. I was hardly a musician…then again I didn't think much of becoming Ambassador back then either. I stared at the instrument thoughtfully and tried once more.

The finger pick rings were placed onto my thumb, index and middle fingers and I tried not to scrape them against one another. A low base note vibrated pleasantly before I tackled several high notes in quick succession. Pleased with the sound I read the next line on the small piece of parchment in front of me. On the paper were some hastily scribbled notes Ongaku had recorded. The second line was more challenging than the first and I wrinkled up my nose. Still, I took the pick trying to remember the notes in my head before plucking at the strings. Naive that I would perfect the song easily I plucked at the notes with too much gusto and consequently trapped my ring finger. The scrapping of my knuckles followed. The burning sensation across the top of my skin made me curse. I sucked at the raw skin and decided the instrument was teaching me a valuable lesson. When would I learn? Nothing in Suna was ever easy!

"It seems more practise is required," said a slow rasping voice above me. "Can you not sleep, Ambassador?"

"No," I replied shortly settling back down on the steps. Ignoring the intruder I continued to play the koto taking care not to rush this time. The rings were cumbersome made for fingers much wider and larger than mine. If it pleased the ninja he could listen to my torturous music all night - it certainly wouldn't bother me! As I tried once more it was becoming easier to dart my fingers to and fro across the strings. The trick was to play with grace and skill, at the moment my frantic efforts produced the music but made me look a fool.

Half an hour passed before I finally took a break. I knew Gaara was still up there staring at the moon. I could hear the wind whipping the folds of material around his gourd like a flag.

"I see you came back then…" as expected there was no answer. I rubbed my arms against the cold. "Did you manage to stop Sasuke?"

"The mission was a failure for both Sand and Leaf," he replied sounding neither disappointed nor worried. He was simply reporting the end conclusion with no indication of how Temari and Kankuro had fared. I wondered if the Leaf Ninja were still alive or if this Sound Ninja Four had murdered the whole lot in cold blood.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said. And then added, "I'm sure you tried your best."

Gaara jumped to the floor below and stood behind me. I could hear the sand rustling nearby keeping watch. Staring straight ahead I dared not to think about how odd it must seem to be sitting here in the dark. He walked slowly his tapping footsteps coming to rest on the step and sat down too. We just sat there side by side, the koto at my feet and the gourd at his. Both of us watched the night sky in silence.

I won't speak I thought stubbornly. If he demands an explanation about my conduct at the last meeting I will simply avoid the subject. It was awkward just waiting here though wondering if I should make an excuse about sleep and leave. He didn't ask about the meeting or even talk about the mission. I could sense there was something on his mind and he wasn't prepared to leave until it was settled. More time passed, at this rate we'd still be sitting here till dawn I thought bemused. I imagined the pair of us as lifeless statues perched on the steps.

"Thank you for the gift, Ambassador," Gaara inhaled saying something finally. "You perhaps would not believe me if I told you that it was the first time."

"I highly doubt that you've never been given a present," I said dubiously. "With your father as Kazekage surely you could have whatever you wanted?"

At the mere mention of his father Gaara's voice hardened, "I have never received a gift that was solely for myself. I have only received gifts with the purpose of furthering the agenda of others and for no other reason. When you presented the box to me I did not know what to expect. The coat was most… unique."

"Then, you _don't_ hate it?" I asked with amazement. Stupidly the koto toppled away from me and I hastily grabbed the instrument.

"I do not make a habit of wearing clothing that I dislike," he said simply. Having turned to retrieve the koto from Gaara's side, I realised with embarrassment that he had been wearing the coat all this time! When he saw my surprise his eyes blinked in understanding.

"I see you interpreted my confusion as ingratitude," he said smirking. "Which in turn explains your sudden departure."

"I didn't mean to be rude especially after you'd just accepted the mission," my voice didn't sound right. It was stuck in my throat and again I was fighting to catch my breath. "I wanted to thank you by finding something suitable. I spent a lot of time looking in fact, only for you to stare at it like it's a paper bomb or something!"

Gaara nodded, "Since I was a small child many attempts have been made to take my life. My own father seeing my inability to control the demon inside me decided it was better to destroy the very thing he created. He tried to poison me, sent ninja with the intent to murder in the dead of night. I soon learnt to accept that no one would present a gift as a gesture of kindness. Shukaku could sense the danger he was the only one who would want to keep me alive, but only to preserve himself. When there was no warning signs from Shukaku I became confused unable to accept there was no threat, I am... sorry."

"There's no need to apologise!" I insisted waving my hands erratically. "I just wanted you to understand…"

"Understand what?" his turquoise eyes flicked towards me. His question was valid the only problem was I had no idea why I had just said those words. I wanted him to understand? I wanted him to understand what? I could feel heat rising to my cheeks I had to give an answer. My mind was buzzing I should really think things through before opening my mouth but it was too late now.

"Understand that I should have known it was you that gave me the painting. I keep misjudging you and that must be really annoying. I know Temari sees me as a burden and Kankuro, well Kankuro, just wants to snap me in half, right?" I laughed. "Despite all that I'm glad you came back and I wanted you to understand that it must be because I see you as friends now."

"Worrying about the thoughts of others is a waste of time," Gaara spoke coldly. "You should use the energy for more productive tasks." I clasped my hands together it was strange how the atmosphere could change so quickly with a few words. I wanted to take back what I'd said and there was an indignant sting in my heart.

"If I didn't think about other people I wouldn't be much of an Ambassador," I growled in reply.

Two dark rings glared at me and I stared right back at them. As a peacemaker the last thing I wanted to do was start a fight, but I was determined not to be intimidated by him anymore.

As I sat still I could hear sand spitting inside Gaara's gourd. I hadn't even noticed the cork teasing itself open with sand spilling onto the steps and snaking its way towards my left foot. I didn't want to scream - then the sand clamped onto me.

When he heard my cries, the ninja realised what the sand was trying to do. The grains twisted around my neck constricting the air flow I fought against them. My hands seeped through sand as I desperately tried to prise the noose away from my neck. Gaara was above me concentrating intensely whispering strange words under his breath over and over. There was fear in those eyes I could see the turquoise pools shining dark. Wrinkles furrowed across his forehead with the effort of controlling the sand.

Finally he clapped his hands together and scattered the sand in different directions.

"The house!" he boomed as the sand gathered once more.

In horror I now understood that the sand was acting of its own accord. I grabbed the koto and dashed towards the door. As I slammed it shut behind me the sand thrashed against the shutters. It hissed at the windows trying to find a way in. I crouched with my back against the door in the dark. Hugging the koto I could feel the wire strings pressing into the skin of my arms and I hung onto that pain. I didn't want to feel scared I couldn't stomach it. There were marks etched on my leg where the sand had crept before striking. I smacked wildly at the stray grains dusting them off and then curled my knees towards my chest. I wished bitterly that Shiro was here and not visiting friends elsewhere. I was completely alone.

After a time a faint light seeped through the windows casting shadows on the floor. When the jelly feeling in my legs had subsided and there was no sound outside, I forced myself to move. Slowly I stood up and pressed my back against the wall. I grasped the door handle and twisted it open. As I peered fearfully outside the sand appeared to have vanished and Gaara was nowhere to be seen.

A wind had picked up and I shivered. There were markings on the ground and on closer inspection they turned out to be claw marks. I followed the long thin tracks across the cold ground. As I rounded the corner I didn't want to admit that the tracks could only be leading to one place; an important haven at the back of the house.

"No," I pleaded. "Please, no."

My heart sank it couldn't be true - the children had worked too hard. In a few weeks the first flowers would be blooming…

As I neared the peace garden great clumps of earth were heaped in piles on both sides. The barrels of soil from Konoha had been smashed and strewn across the ground. Garden canes were snapped in half and scattered. The flower bulbs with their fragile roots lay torn unmercifully from their beds. So much time and love had been ploughed into it - my little piece of home. Hands clenched into fists when I could see the rows which had been painstaking dug replaced by a smoking black hole. All this I could forgive, but perhaps the most hurtful thing of all was the rock carved with the proverbs my father had shared obliterated into tiny fragments.

In the mist of this chaos and madness was Gaara. Shaking and wailing liked a caged animal on his knees - hands clamped forcefully over his ears. I held back, both furious and terrified at the sight in front of me. It was hard not to resent him I wanted to believe that Shukaku had made him do it. I wanted to know that Gaara was not so cruel to completely annihilate something because I'd stood up to him.

Gaara shook his head irritably and rocked back and forth. Jumbled whispers escaped his lips until at last I could see the sandy claws beginning to disintegrate leaving the flesh of his human skin.

He turned to me part of his face still human the other transformed. As he gnashed his teeth the left side of his face had large incisors protruding from his wet and growling mouth. Tuffs of brick red hair jutted out from the scalp, but what was most disturbing about the transformation were the eyes. Gaara's light turquoise iris still shone brightly from the right in contrast to the opposite side. His left eye was jet black apart from an eerie yellow ring that glared back frostily. Inside the ring was a black four pointed star with concave sides and four grey circles situated in the upper and lower spaces both left and right of the star.

Memories of the hospital came flooding back and I remembered Takumi pinned against the wall. I shook my head it wasn't Takumi at all but Kabuto. This wasn't the time to be thinking about this! I couldn't understand how Gaara had lost control, why was this happening?

I stood there unable to respond; actions, words, movement, they all failed me. A great wave of sadness was building up. I felt powerless unsure about what I could do to stop this destruction. The creature snarled throwing one of the flower bulbs as a missile towards me. It landed pathetically at my feet, discarded like a piece of rubbish.

Then in a loud contemptuous voice Gaara bellowed, "So, do you still want to be my friend _now_?"


	23. Here to Stay

**Chapter 23 – Here to Stay**

"Leave him alone, Shukaku!" I yelled racing forwards, ready to take on whatever that wicked spirit could throw at me. In hindsight it was both reckless and stupid to go charging against the powers of a jinchuuriki. Seeing the garden torn asunder must have made me snap. I took a kunai from the pocket of my house robe not knowing exactly what I intended to do with it. The yellow eye acknowledged me with great howls of mocking laughter.

Sharp blade clashed against the sand barrier lining his skin. He caught my arms and I pushed as hard as I could. Taken by surprise we tumbled heavily onto the ground until he was on top of me. Breathing fast into my ear the half transformed creature was snarling. The fangs dripped with slimy strands of saliva onto my face. Pinned to the floor there was nothing I could do. This was it I'd be ripped to shreds by my host possessed by a sand demon!

"I want to kill you," the chilling voice said toying with my blond hair.

"Oh join the fucking queue," I spat at him my skin crawling at the touch.

Shukaku roared, "You insolent little pest!" My fingernails dug into the soil I didn't feel quite so brave anymore. The kunai knife was now in his hands. His menacing smile grew wider and wider towering above me. The fear I'd been fighting was breaking through and I hated this monster all the more for it.

"Is that all the great Skukaku can do?" I attempted to provoke him through my chattering teeth. "Toss a bit of earth around and make a big mess? I've seen my brother's bedroom look worse! I thought a great demon like you would at least have the decency to wipe out all traces of my existence. Or are you losing your touch?"

There was a twinkle in that yellow eye and then without warning the knife was withdrawn. If I wanted to move I could, but my body felt flattened and limp.

"I enjoy challenging prey," he said in a slow, dragging moan. "Just remember I'm close. Don't let your guard slip or I may just devour your body and your soul before too long." A tongue licked the blood red lips before returning to that ghastly smile. What he said chilled me and I finally gathered the strength to roll away onto all fours.

Two foggy green eyes blinked tears back at me. As I watched, the fangs retracted and Gaara slowly returned to human form. He murmured something with a haunted look on his young face. I would never forget the anguish that seemed to radiate from him. No, it was more like pain; a pure insufferable pain that could never be taken away. His whole body collapsed onto his side, stiff and lifeless.

I panicked thinking the demon had killed him. Lifting the Kazekage's son gently onto his back I checked his breathing and heartbeat which were slowing down rapidly. I pinched his cheeks trying to gauge a response there was nothing.

"Gaara!" I called loudly into his ears.

He reluctantly opened his eyes which had returned to normal. The ninja pushed me away surveying the surrounding mess in the garden. He frowned deeply.

"Is there nothing left?" he asked his voice trembling.

"No," I sighed kneeling next to him. "Are you okay?"

The frown that followed creased his face so much I thought it might break. Every glance of his head revealed more and more devastation that he was responsible for. The look of unhappiness continued to grow until all colour had drained from his already pale face. He was genuinely horrified, ashamed even to look upon me. I hated seeing him like this defeated, loathing himself.

"Can you see now, why we can't be friends?" he hissed. His head drooping in misery.

Don't get me wrong I wanted more than anything to pick the ninja up by the collar and shake him until all my frustrations were released. But just looking at him there I consented there was no point. His whole body and mind had just been violated. For someone to have power and control over you like that was truly sickening. He didn't need me to chastise him; Gaara was already being punished enough.

"The sand spirit doesn't like me very much does he?" I whispered picking up a flower bulb absently and laying it down again.

Gaara put his head in his hands his voice sounding strained. "I allowed myself to become distracted…it will not happen again."

"You can't promise that," I said accepting the fact honestly.

"How can you be so calm?" He demanded. The boy turned away aggravation tearing at his body, "Did you not hear what he said?"

"I heard what he said all right," still uncomfortable with the bubbling volcano beside me. I placed my hands onto my hips and bent backwards stretching out the kinks in my spine. There was dirt trapped in my fingernails I noticed and pieces of debris littered in my hair. "He wants to devour my soul," I said simply teasing a piece of stubborn cane from my locks. "So what's to do? I could refuse to speak to you ever again - after all, my garden _is_ completely trashed." My hands went behind my back as I circled Gaara. "That would accomplish nothing of course and Shukaku gets exactly what he wants. You're further isolated, become _even more_ grumpy."

"Must you turn every event into a joke to hide your own pathetic cowardice? Your cheerfulness irritates me."

"That's right just fire away with your boundless pessimism! Because that is really going to help solve the problem, isn't it?" I screwed my face up with frustration. "I haven't got time for this the children will be here soon. Goodness knows what they'll say if they find the garden like this!"

"It is none of my concern," Gaara stood to leave.

"_Oh no you don't!"_ I glared at him my voice becoming quite stern. "Your taniku did this, so you are going to help me fix it. I don't care about excuses; you couldn't do anything to stop it…fine! But you are not walking away from this because you're feeling sorry for yourself. I will be _damned _before I let you sneak off and lock yourself away in that Administration building until the next meeting!"

"You think you can stop me?" he challenged with an ugly scowl.

My face fell, "Do you really hate me so much that you won't even try?"

There was a long pause before he pointed at the devastation and grumbled, "There is nothing left to save Ambassador."

We looked at the garden in ruins and I had to admit the sight was pretty bleak. I could replace the stone, even carve the same proverbs into the rock and find additional canes. One letter to Konohagakure and a fresh delivery of fertile soil would arrive in a matter of days. But there was no guarantee that the replanted bulbs would grow. Before the flowers had a chance at life they'd been cruelly thrown aside. Nevertheless it had to mean something to give them a fighting chance.

"You remember the story about the samurai, don't you?" I asked as the morning sun burst from the horizon. Its sunny beams stretched across the sky bringing some much needed warmth to my bones. My companion thought about this trying to retrieve the tale from memory.

"I understand," he said in acknowledgement.

"Good, you can start by picking up all the snapped canes and look for bulbs that have roots still attached…what's the matter?"

The ninja had blushed so suddenly and dropped to the ground I was quite taken aback. "Ambassador," his voice was so quiet. "I believe a change of clothing may be appropriate."

Confused I glanced at my house robe which was gaping wide open. To compound the horror I was exposing my flowery nightdress. Out of respect Gaara had realised and turned away. Incensed by my lack of dignity I frantically tied the belt around my waist to cover up. This is a _fine way_ for an Ambassador to behave I thought madly striding back towards the house in complete humiliation.

After changing into some thoroughly appropriate attire for gardening, the hard work began. It soon became obvious that Gaara did not possess green fingers. He was heavy handed with the remaining bulbs trying to shove the roots back into the ground forcefully. It took a while before he would listen and copy my own gentle actions for the desired effect. Trying to make him see that flowers needed patience and care to grow was a struggle. The whole concept was a complete mystery to him.

"How can you find pleasure kneeling in mud like this?" he muttered under his breath.

"Give it time," I laughed.

We'd replanted most of the rows before the children arrived and just as expected they weren't particularly impressed. I knew how they felt and all four children with their little faces red with anger glared at Gaara accusingly. As I tried to explain Toshie exploded in a fit of uncontrollable rage.

"I knew it!" She screamed at me. "I told you, but you wouldn't listen!"

"Toshie," I groaned.

"They're dead and he killed them! Now they'll never grow…we'll never get to see them. I wanted to see them!" There were wet hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she beat two fists against my chest. She pounded me again and again but I didn't let go. She screamed and wailed with the boys looking on aghast. Hiro in particular was extremely concerned about his friend. The twins glanced at each other they'd never seen the tomboy react this way it made their stomachs flip.

It took a long time but even Toshie's angry energy had a limit and when it was spent she sat on my knee gasping weakly. I stroked her hair trying to soothe the pain a little.

"What's going to happen now, Mrs Ambassador?" Hiro asked politely trying to avoid eye contact with the older red haired boy in front of him.

"We'll just have to wait and see. Master Gaara and I have done as much as we can - the rest is up to nature."

"I hate him," Toshie sniffed through a snotty nose. "You should ban him. Anyone that can wipe out pretty flowers like that deserves it!"

"She's right," Gaara answered before I could stop him. "Who am I to decide if something should live or die? I do not have the right to marvel at such beauty if I can not respect its right to exist."

My mind felt disconcerted he was a strange one I thought; one moment irrational and immature like a child and then to say the most poetic of things. He meant every word and there was kindness in his eyes. Toshie hid herself away shyly behind my long sleeves. Her eyebrows were narrowed with the same confusion I felt.

"He's weird," she whispered in my ear.

I untangled myself from the child and stood upright, "This garden is for everyone." I was speaking more to myself than to the children. "If Master Gaara is not welcome here then no one is."

"But you can't!" Ayuta protested. "That's not fair."

"That's just the way it is," I walked away from the astonished Sunan and went to stand by Gaara.

He looked at me, head tilted slightly, quizzically.

The children scratched their heads wondering what I was doing. In the end there was no choice they resided themselves to the fact that Gaara was here to stay.


	24. Mokoton Sand Combination!

**Author's note** - The story of the raccoon dog was retold by Nami Sugimoto. He has a collection of some funny and sad Japanese folk tales – take a look!

**Chapter 24 **

**Mokoton Sand Combination! **

Another week had past in Suna and I had just finished jotting down some very rough ideas about the festival. Trying to convince the council that the village needed to have a party was going to be tough. The finances were a head ache and I would bet that they would not be forth coming with yen for the project. This would mean a begrudging letter to Lady Tsunade begging for money and a distinct possibility of rejection. If no one was prepared to put up any funds at all the whole idea would fall flat on its face!

The teenager had been watching me with idle curiosity when he swiped my note board and began reading.

"Hey!" I protested walking up to him jumping to retrieve my hard work.

"Items for purchase; ribbons, fireworks, silk for costumes, straw, garden canes, flags, hand pressed flowers…a yagura?" his eye brows continued to narrow. "What the heck is this?"

I snatched the board back annoyed at the intrusion. Why did I have to be 'honoured' with a visit from Kankuro?

"None of your beeswax," I replied tapping the side of my nose. The younger boy didn't appreciate my uncooperative attitude. He smirked and leaned a carefree arm on the bandaged object he had released from his shoulders. I glared back at the ninja.

"Ah quit yer scowling, Ambassador." He yawned. "Remember you're a guest here. The way you've been walking around lately anyone would think you owned the place."

"Getting to know people isn't a crime, Kankuro, you should try it sometime!"

He placed a hand on his heart miming injury before huffing.

"You might have pulled the wool over Temari's eyes but am onto you. Whatever stunt you're planning, you can forget it!" He straightened his black hood.

"Give me strength…" I whispered. "It's a plan for a _non- threatening _festival for Suna. That's the list for the things I need to order." I pointed out. "It's not death threats or bombs just an agenda for what needs to be done and when."

"And what about Gaara, you have an agenda for him too?"

He spoke so enigmatically I wondered if he had seen what happened in the garden last week.

I spoke cautiously, "I'm not sure what you're getting at exactly."

The shinobi grinned, "Personally, I find the sweetness and like act completely unattractive."

"Well that's a relief," I returned the sly grin. "You're not my type."

Kankuro scowled as he took a letter from his pocket, "He wants to meet you at the training grounds."

I raised an eyebrow seeing that the seal was already broken, "This was supposed to be private."

He laughed, "Hey, security is a serious business. If you have nothing to hide then you don't need to worry." To which he added darkly, "Do you?"

* * *

It had been a while since I stepped into the large arena after my last fainting episode. I felt nervous wondering if I could conjure up any chakra never mind controlling it! Soon a familiar shape shifted slowly onto the different coloured sands. The grains crunched underneath his sandals as he finally halted a metre or so away.

"Do you possess any knowledge of chakra?" He asked. When I shook my head he wasted no time and began the lesson. "Chakra is produced through a combination of physical and mental energies. This energy flows through the body much like a circulatory system. In most cases to release chakra you must perform a sequence of hand signs. Depending upon the hand signs used this will manipulate the chakra to perform an action or jutsu. Do you follow thus far?"

There was a vague familiarity to what he was saying. I had forgotten my father had tried to explain about chakra many years ago before he died. I remembered him drawing pictures of a body and lots of arrows pointing to various things. Segments of words came to mind and an incurable insistence that it was so very important to learn. I had always wondered about that, why was it so important for me to know this?

Gaara was watching me unimpressed by day dreams. "To perform a shinobi jutsu, first the chakra must be summoned then transformed into a jutsu using a hand sign. I will demonstrate." He made some hand signs saying clearly the names of animals to match each one. It didn't take long before the sand rose to meet his hand and then began to take the form of Gaara himself. He had used this technique before, when confronting Kabuto back in Konoha. The doppelganger and original stood side by side mirroring each other with crossed arms. I peered at the creation in awe.

"The aim of the session is to learn a chakra technique that will allow you to generate barriers?"

"That's right," I confirmed. "Temari thought it would be good protection."

"No barrier that you create would be impenetrable."

"I still want to learn," I insisted.

Gaara nodded accepting that I would not be put off.

"To create a simple barrier, first build chakra in the palm of your hands." Again he demonstrated holding both palms towards me. I could see the palms glowing with a light blue chakra energy steadily becoming stronger. Looking down at my own palms I couldn't fathom how to transfer power from my body towards my hands. My grimace caught the ninja's attention and he crossed his arms.

"You need only direct the energy towards the chakra points linked to your arms."

"I don't know how," I admitted with embarrassment.

There was no retort.

"Close your eyes and imagine a blue flame in the centre of your stomach." I kept a single eyelid open checking that the sand was not planning another sneak attack. "You must ignore all other distractions and _focus_ on the flame." He snapped at me immediately I sprang back to attention. "Allow the flame to grow and draw a line from the stomach to your hand, first one side then the other. Imagine blue chakra flowing along these lines, the chakra flows slowly…"

"My hands are tingling, is that normal?" I asked apprehensively.

"Such a response indicates that the chakra is being transferred to the correct position. It is important to maintain a steady flow and increase the amount of chakra to both hands simultaneously."

Listening to his slow voice was quite hypnotic. I wanted to loosen up allow myself to sink into a calm and relaxed state. The skin of my palms was not burning exactly but the tingling sensation was increasing. Gaara continued to observe expressionless.

"You are ready to make the hand sign; Ne, Inu and Tora." He modelled once forming the signs clearly. This particular sequence was easier than most I realised as the signs varied significantly from each other; with Ne (the rat), I clasped three fingers from one hand into the other with my left thumb to the outside. Inu (dog) had the left hand laid flat on a clenched right fist. The last was Tora (tiger) with palms facing in fingers knitted together and thumbs straight up. On their own the signs were simple enough to learn but joining them together in sequence accurately was nerve racking.

I tried my best to mimic the movements and at first nothing happened. As I continued however the blue chakra took on a life of its own spiralling around my body from head to toe. When the spiral had completed its journey Gaara stared unblinking appearing to be quite satisfied.

"Has it worked?" I asked confused.

A fist of sand came bursting from the ground and I cried out in terror. Waiting for the impact to come I tensed up my stomach but nothing came. In shock I realised the sand was below me darting and smashing not quite reaching the target. It was as though the yellow grains kept hitting an invisible pane of transparent blue glass. The chakra barrier was holding up even against the most powerful of the blows.

"I've got it!" I giggled with delight waving to the sand triumphantly. For once I had the upper hand against it and I was determined to relish the sweet moment.

Suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass and shards of blue chakra fell to the floor. I'd allowed the chakra flow to be disrupted. "Oh no," I mouthed scrambling to my feet. Gaara's eyes twinkled with a mischievous light as he bid the sand to continue the chase.

I ran frantically across the training grounds jumping and dodging trying to keep away from the murderous grit.

"Would you hold off for just one minute?" I yelled across to him. "I lost my concentration and broke the barrier!"

"Demonstrate what you have learnt," he grumbled back. "Repeat the signs quickly, before the enemy has the opportunity to attack."

My eyes widened I couldn't remember what the hand signs were. In a fuzzy panic I tried to gather chakra in my hands and make the signs. Was it Tora before Ne? Or perhaps Ne was last and Inu the first? I could feel the adrenaline rush through body it was so hard to remember under pressure. The hunter was going to catch me! What if Gaara couldn't control the blood lust this time? I swallowed the saliva gathering in my dry mouth.

I tripped over my feet and crashed to the floor. The sand had taken the form of a snake slithering and snapping at its prey. It reared its dangerous head ready to strike. In the heat of the moment all sense left me as I let out a blood curdling scream. My hands made signs automatically and then another frightening thing happened; thin curling snakes erupted from my own hands! I screamed again twisting my palms around to face me there was… I couldn't believe my eyes.

The sand serpent saw its chance opening its large jaws. My palms reacted again sending more brown twisty snakes back at the monster. I gnashed my teeth trying to clamp down on the squeal that was building in my throat. The snake came back charging from a different direction I continued to build chakra and when the creature came at me once more there was a great thunk. The sharp fangs had embedded themselves into wood, oak wood that had grown from the skin of my arm. The snake recoiled. In horror I could see the wood sinking back into my flesh as if it had never been there. I clamped a hand on my elbow searching for holes but my arm was clean.

More chakra was building in my palms thin branches came rushing up from the ground. I gasped as the branches grew wider almost as thick as tree trunks. They creaked as they wrapped around each other sprouting beautiful green leaves. The ripples of a fierce blue energy swept through the branches making them shake and twist. The branches broke free and lunged into open space. One branch which was over six metres long was continuing to grow. This branch had spiky thorns and was tangled in lime green vines.

The branches sown in the ground became heaver and thicker still. These shot into the air as gigantic oak trees, five of them popping up one after the other. Watching the forest emerge the trees continued to sprout and with each one I felt more and more nauseous. The horizontal line of trees went crashing through a section of the auditorium. The clay stone steps were reduced to a pile of rubble! How was I going to explain _that_ to the council?

There was something wrong I was losing control of the chakra. The tingling in my palms was now beginning to sting instead. The bearable pin pricks were becoming agonising bites and I winced against the pain. The snake was nowhere to be seen but that was the least of my problems.

"I can't control it!"

Then the trees stopped growing and I breathed a cleansing sigh of pure relief. This was to be short lived as the nearest tree began to move once more spinning round and round on the spot. The spinning grew faster and faster drilling crazily into the ground sending clouds of dust everywhere. I tried to shield my eyes but then on the trunk sharp wooden spikes formed. As the tree rotated in a circle the spikes flew away from the trunk like darts. I dived for the ground resting on my elbows.

Spikes whizzed past my head narrowly missing my ears. I had a feeling that if I wasn't stopped soon this was going to end rather badly, "Help!" I screeched.

Two strong hands grabbed my wrists and I felt a different chakra combining with my own. "The chakra is responding to your emotional state," Gaara spoke loudly against the roar of the tree still spinning in the earth. His red hair was flying to and fro with the pulse of the chakra. "Calm yourself!" I shook my head violently and wriggled out of his grasp.

"I can't," I whimpered unable to feel my hands anymore. I had never felt like this scared before, what was this alien power jolting through my body?

He growled with annoyance and seized my wrists again. He pulled me to my feet and his chakra travelled along to the tree. His sand followed the chakra and clung to the turning wood slowing it down. The mighty oak fought against the sand until it was overcome and smothered. I let out a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding. All was finally still.

After such chaos I wanted to collapse and sleep, then I saw it. Gaara and I couldn't tear our gaze away from the tree it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my lifetime. The tree shone golden with the attached grains glittering and sparkling in the light. Every crease and bump in the trunk had been preserved in yellow dust - even the leaves.

"Jukai Koutan," Gaara spoke distantly, "A ninjutsu that combines elements of both water and earth with the ability to manipulate Mother Nature herself." He turned to me studying my reaction and concluded that my shock was genuine. "The hand signs occurred only when you faced what was perceived as certain death. It was a last line of defence buried in your sub-conscious. I suspect the signs were implanted by another person someone capable of powerful genjutsu, many years ago."

"You're being ridiculous!" I looked down noticing that he hadn't released my wrists yet.

"Is that so?" his question made me angry.

"This is my body! I'd have known if someone had planted something inside my mind, wouldn't I?" I couldn't ignore the doubt in my mind. You don't just go walking around one day and beams of wood come shooting out of you.

"It appears to be far more than simple mind tricks." His tone was serious, "Few ninja can be trained to mix styles, rarer still in a neophyte. No amount of genjutsu would be able to reproduce plant life in the middle of a barren arena that has no source of water. What you have done is impossible." He finally released my wrists, "Unless it is the trait of a Kekkei Genkai."

"Whatever it was I never want to do it again!" I wheezed. "It was horrible! When the chakra kept going…I felt like it was never going to end. I couldn't pull it back." A sinister thought occurred to me, "What if it bursts out again?"

"There is no further danger of exerting the chakra points. I suspect your chakra reserves are depleted it may take several days before you regain the full amount."

"I don't care about that!" I blurted out. "I don't want to regain any amount. If I do that I'm going to end up killing someone!" All reason was falling away I couldn't hold onto reality anymore. My ranting grew more hysterical. I wanted to rip the chakra from my veins and let it pour out. I held up my trembling hands they were dirty, but there were no scratches. "Take it out of me…" I moaned desperately. "Get rid of it!"

For a moment I felt a deep and bitter sadness that took my breath away. I looked at Gaara with concern and instinctively he backed away. Was it from him? Our chakra had combined for a few moments the fierce energy compared to mine was immense. I could still sense the chakra lingering I focused on it.

I froze as flashes of memory, snippets from conversations and jumbled emotions bled together. There was the glint of a knife and smoke rising towards the moon; agony, Temari, pointing hands, blue, it didn't make sense. More came; Kankuro, cold stares, fear, salty tears, hope, the reassuring pep talk of a man speaking to a young child, the taste of iron and red blood.

At the next wave there was a blinding madness. Then darkness that seemed to stretch out forever with a void that blocked out any emotion at all. All measures of time were lost as the darkness continued.

Finally colour came back into focus. I could see a blurry figure, someone crawling on their front towards me. It was a boy, a boy with a bleeding face and sharp blue eyes. He was breathing and grunting like an animal. I could hear a small voice crying out, _stay away _it said. As the face came closer mouthing silent words I couldn't catch.

My head snapped back as my body flew through the air and crashed. I woke up rubbing my temples, how did I get here? Gaara was holding his own head with pain and gasping sharply. He recovered quickly but kept a good distance away from me. I'd exposed things that were clearly very personal and he didn't like that. He's just a frightened kid I thought. Whatever power he possessed it couldn't hide the hurt of the past.

"Who is that woman?" he demanded irritably. "That relentless nagging… it was annoying!"

A creeping sense of unease was beginning to grow, "short woman?" I asked, "With blond hair wearing a kimono?"

"Yes," he replied exasperated.

"That sounds like my mother," my lips twisting into an awkward smile. "She can be a bit _much_ at times."

Gaara's look suggested that I'd made the understatement of the year.

So it seemed that while I was able to see his thoughts and memories in turn he could see mine. I felt naked suddenly wondering exactly what he'd seen. Then I realised he was perhaps pondering the same thing - it made things easier somehow.

"The boy," he continued slowly. "Naoki, your brother?"

"Yes."

"You care about him."

"That's right," I said. "We're family." After a pause I questioned him. "I saw a boy with blue eyes and an orange jacket. Was that Naruto Uzumaki? He was saying something but I couldn't quite hear."

**"**He was the persistant, irritating runt that defeated me. I remember fighting him and wondering where his strength came from. I remembered that he too had a jinchuuriki and I assumed that the reason I failed was because his was stronger than mine. But when we lay there in the forest with nothing left he was still coming. He said that he would protect those precious to him because they saved him from himself. I didn't understand what he was talking about."

"It was you shouting at him to stay away," I comprehended putting the pieces together.

"Yes, I was..." he struggled with the right word. "For the first time in years Shukaku's power was gone. He said he would kill me. I believed that I would cease to exist."

"Nobody wants to die - to be taken away from those you love," I sighed.

"Love. That is when I wondered. Love, is that the thing that makes him so strong? The bonds he has with friends, a desire to protect them."

"I thought you said worrying about others was a waste of time?"

"When I fought Uzumaki, he taught me that you can change how you live your life. To make friends – I do not know how." He seemed to pause for a moment before asking, "Do you believe that even a monster can change?"

"Gosh, this is all very deep for a training session," I shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe not all, but I certainly know that raccoon dogs can!" Gaara looked puzzled and stood up a little straighter.

I began recalling a story that my father had told me one day when bedridden with flu. It went that a long time ago, there was an old man and an old woman who lived at the foot of a mountain. The old man had a vegetable patch and he and the old woman lived in perfect harmony.

One morning, the old man went to the vegetable patch. He heard a noise. He looked quickly and saw a tanuki. The raccoon dog was eating his vegetables! He scolded the raccoon dog and it ran away.

But the raccoon dog came back every day and he ate all of the vegetables in the garden. The old man got angry, so one day he caught the raccoon dog. The raccoon dog cried and he apologized, so the old woman set him free. But the raccoon dog bit her leg before he escaped.

The old man became even angrier. He went to the mountain to get some medicine for his wife's leg. On the way to the mountain, there was a rabbit. The rabbit said "Why are you in such a hurry?" The old man explained to him about the raccoon dog. Then the rabbit said, "I'll get revenge on him for you."

The rabbit went to the mountain with a rice ball and gathered some hay.

When the raccoon dog passed, the rabbit offered him the rice ball. But the rabbit said, "I'll give you the rice ball only if you help me carry this hay." So the raccoon dog agreed to take the hay upon his back.

When the raccoon dog carried the hay, the rabbit set the hay on fire. But the raccoon dog didn't notice. Soon the raccoon dog could feel heat on his back, and the next thing he knew, his back was burned!

The raccoon dog regretted his previous actions and reflected on what he had done to the old woman and man. He went to the house and apologized to them.

That night they all had a delicious meal together and for the rest of their days became firm friends.

"When the raccoon dog changed his ways he was able to make friends. But you know if the villagers could just move forward in their own lives like the old man and woman, the focus wouldn't be on you and the Ichibi all the time. Oh listen to me prattling on," I laughed pulling my ponytail tight.

"I can not extract the chakra," Gaara forced the subject I was desperate to avoid. "But I will instruct you in how to control it." I pulled a face. "You would rather ignore the power until your emotions get the better of you?" He pointed towards the auditorium. I immediately felt guilty he was right. What if next time there was a crowd of people sitting there? I was lucky no one got hurt today.

I clasped my hands together, "I don't respond very well to change either, Gaara. I don't think I'm cut out for this!" I took another glance at the rubble. "But okay, I just hope I learn quickly. Otherwise poor Suna will have no stadium left!"

For the first time since I'd met Gaara his lips jerked at odd angles forming what could actually pass as a smile.


	25. The Calm before the Storm

**Chapter 25**

**The Calm before the Storm**

Over the coming months my schedule became increasingly hectic; between the festival preparations, physical training with Temari and chakra management with Gaara, I was the busiest I'd ever been.

With encouragement the children and elders had begun to meet regularly in the garden to enjoy the flowers together. I felt a great sense of pride admiring the tree peonies snug and at home in their flowerbed. There was very little that could spoil the peace and yet I had the curious sensation of being watched from time to time. I told myself that I was just being silly – no one else had mentioned it.

Shiro was currently making colourful decorations under the shade of the house. Grandma Rooba was sharing an old folktale with Ayuta and Azuma. Toshie had borrowed my koto and was practising under the instruction of an enthusiastic Ongaku. There was singing and dancing in the garden each day followed by much debate and gossip.

"There should be a huge dance with everyone in the community taking part!" One Sunan woman insisted. "The girls can entertain with a fan dance and the boys with acrobatics."

"I can do backflips better than any _boy,_"Toshie complained.

"Which songs shall we sing?" Hiro piped up excitedly. "Lady Leaf, what do you think?"

I squirmed at the name, "I think we should learn all the songs and then have a vote at the end."

"But that'll take _ages_," Hiro moaned.

"Yes, but you have to remember this will be an annual event. I'm hoping that the festival will become as popular as the celebration of cherry blossoms. That means the songs and dances could change year on year. You have to have surprises to keep an audience happy, don't you?" The boy grinned and nodded before running to join Grandma Rooba's story.

I enjoyed listening to the different stories and takes on life that people had. To see young and old coming together like this reminded me of home. There was a village atmosphere here with laughter and joy something that had rarely been seen before. With each passing day more and more people came to join in and wanted to help. It was becoming the highlight of an otherwise dreadful year in the history of Sunagakure.

The evenings were much calmer. I was able to generate a barrier to protect the garden during the cold nights and this had occurred without incident. Although there was that one night when Shiro caught me setting up the barrier and believed I was being attacked. She tried to pull me away, and the chakra I'd built up pummelled into the nearby rock face. It took a little while to explain _that one_ to my house keeper.

Gaara continued to train me although the term experimentation was more accurate. So far we'd concluded that as well as oak trees I could produce bushes, thorns, vines, ivy, in fact any form of vegetation that I could wish for. The Mokoton jutsu could be used in a variety of ways for defence as well as offensive attacks. I could control the wooden beams at will (with much practise) from any part of my body where I directed the chakra flow.

In the end learning how to use my new talent was quite fun. The fear and panic I had felt that day in the training grounds was like a bad dream. I understood now how my chakra network worked in tune with my body. I had to be careful not to overexert myself and above all not allow my emotions to influence the chakra. The latter piece of advice was the hardest to follow and I was all too aware of what could happen if I failed to keep to it. Somehow Gaara had managed to keep my little 'mishap' as a big secret and I was eternally grateful.

My favourite use of Mokuton was to create wooden beams from my feet which I could use to make ramps, rails and tracks to speed along. Having learnt how to use chakra for balance I could run along these aerial pathways with ease. I could create bridges across mountains, lakes and streams. The more I thought about it, the uses just seemed to be endless.

Gaara was always pushing me that little bit further I noticed. He was intrigued to find out how the sand and wood styles compared to one another. When I was ready to call it a day he'd already thought of another jutsu to try. Some of the ideas were quite useful for example the Moku Shouheki no Jutsuwhich allowed the user to create a half spherical barrier from wood. Other things such as using poison from particular plants for chemical warfare didn't sit very well with me. My instincts as a nurse were too strong, so I refused to reproduce plants for this purpose much to his annoyance.

Tonight the same shadowy figure was sitting on my steps again. He'd taken to visiting often in the evening recently. At first the exchanges were awkward and short – not on my part you understand. Gradually though the penny was beginning to drop and he was learning that it takes two people to have a conversation. Admittedly some topics were easier to discuss than others but it wasn't always the company he wanted. To just receive a little dose of social interaction helped him to explore the more puzzling aspects of his humanity. Above all else I think rediscovering his humanity was at the top of his list right now. Whatever Uzumaki had said during that fight it had changed Gaara's life.

I talked about my family, Konoha, books I'd read and haiku poems. Every so often the ninja asked questions and I answered them. Our friendship was not conventional and neither party cared, it didn't matter. But as much as we could both ignore the threat of Shukaku he never really went away. The rustle of sand which played in the background was a constant reminder.

"Naruto Uzumaki told me once there's a sand spirit sealed inside your body. What I don't get is why he becomes a raccoon dog of all things when he's released?"

Gaara raised his head a little. He looked so tired these days turquoise eyes drooping with exhaustion. He turned his back so it was leaning against the banister too and crossed his arms.I remembered how he could not sleep and felt it grossly unfair; especially as I fell heavily into bed each night straight into a deep slumber.

"Shukaku was a corrupted sand priest. The priests at the shrine knew a jutsu to transform themselves into tanuki as a disguise. Should the shrine be infiltrated by the enemy, it allowed them to escape without harm."

"Those priests sound pretty crafty if you ask me!"

"As a man, Shukaku was very irate. His memories are thick with violence and death, he enjoyed killing. When I was young controlling him was … difficult, he would not always obey commands. He made the sand lash out at his choosing. His victims blamed me and in return I hated them."

"It must have been hard."

"That was the way things were," Gaara shrugged.

"And now?" The ninja gave no reply and I smiled knowingly. "I've spotted your sand eye hiding behind the house watching what's going on. It's a lot more fun taking part than being an observer. Why don't you come and spend time with the villagers? You can help them prepare for the festival."

He blushed slightly at this, "So, you spotted me, eh?" He shook his head sadly at my suggestion, "My presence would only spoil their happiness." I was surprised at his reaction. For someone who wanted to be alone he was going to some lengths to be near others. Perhaps the need for humans to congregate in a social group was stronger than I thought.

"It won't be easy," I consented. "You know, Toshie asks about you now and again, even after what happened with the flowers. You've already took the first step and I'll stick up for you if you want."

"I have no need for your protection, _Lady Leaf_," he smirked. "But I am grateful for all you have done for my people."

"That's alright," I brushed off the compliment before doing a double take. "Don't start calling me that! That's Grandma Rooba's bad influence…it's like she's trying to make me into some kind of village idiot. I suppose you agree with that role?"

The deceased Kage's son deliberately remained tight lipped. After the time we had spent together I realised that he had a very subtle sense of humour.

"Anyway, I'll have to leave you, it's getting late," I apologised but he didn't seem to mind. As I walked back towards the house he delayed a little longer than usual. With the gourd on his back a gust of wind sent the tails of his cloak flapping behind him.

"Ambassador,"

"What is it?" I stretched with a yawn.

I could tell by the way he was standing around that there was something wrong. He was deliberating about whether to share something with me. There was a long pause as he stared at the floor before replying, "It is nothing important." I stayed a while longer giving him time but he slipped silently away in the direction of the Administration building.

"Are you sure there have been no deliveries this morning, Shiro?"

The young woman glanced back sympathetically the answer was still no. I flopped back into my chair and stared out the window feeling restless. It was pathetic to think the Ambassador of Konohagakure only lived for the post delivery from between nine and ten each morning. I craved for news about home devouring every correspondence from Lady Tsunade in seconds.

My imagination was in overdrive after Kankuro cruelly mentioned that Naruto had been badly hurt when trying to retrieve Sasuke. I immediately sent a card to the hospital asking how he was and whether my brother was coping. A while later I'd received a crumbled up note with the words:

_Sorry, didn't mean to make you worry. Letters are not my style. Naoki is okay, you should write him sometime. Give the sand sibs my thanks they really saved our butts out there. When you visit, how about we all go out for some Ichiraku ramen? _

_- Naruto. _

I couldn't count the number of letters I had sent to Naoki since I arrived in Suna and there had been no reply, not one. What did Naruto mean?

Shiro placed a cup of steaming tea onto the desk. I rested my chin on my hands as I complained loudly, "I can't help it. What if Kankuro is keeping letters from getting through? I'll kill him. If something has happened to mother or Naoki there won't be a damn thing I can do about it here! Maybe he hasn't sent news because he doesn't want me to worry. He should know by now that if he does that I worry anyway!"

My house keeper with her kind eyes tried to reassure me that everything would be okay. I wanted to believe her. I didn't deliberately go looking for a crisis everyday addicted to the thrill of drama. Maybe I was over reacting a little but it still didn't explain why Naoki never gave a response.

"I'll have to take a trip home anyway," I suddenly decided leaping away from the table. "It's been over a year and my contract hasn't been extended. I need to find out where I stand with the fifth Hokage."

Shiro watched me pacing up and down the room making a hole in the floor. I pulled down my hold-all from the top of the cupboard. What did I need? Clothes something smart to meet Master Homura and my new boss, water, rations, kunai and perhaps my plan for the festival – I could mention it, no harm in that. I remembered the wolf dog Grandma Rooba had sold to me it was still wrapped in brown paper at the back of a drawer. I resisted trying to pack much more as the lasting memory of my last trek through the desert was fresh in my mind. The ache of my joints and back had been agony for days afterwards.

I dressed quickly into a dark green tank top and loose khaki trousers. Around my shoulders I looped a brown shawl to protect me from the wind. A quick smear of oil on my chapped lips and I was ready to face the journey home.

Shiro again offered the steaming cup of tea coaxing me to sit down. I smiled and took the tea - it wouldn't hurt to delay for a few moments. It felt good to have an action plan and be on the move again. My nerves twitched with a curious mixture of excitement and dread. I was yearning to see my family again but the reception I'd receive from my neighbours was painful to think about. All the gossip and stories they must have told and me, hundreds of miles away unable to defend myself.

What would Naoki be up to? Probably chasing after Mother and making deliveries for the Yamanaka flower shop. I supposed even he might tire of such a mundane Saturday job after all this time. My brother's ninth birthday had come and gone, I would have to ask him about it. I knew a belated present wasn't going to make up for much and I worried that he might sulk for days.

My thoughts wondered whether to leave a note with Gaara and the others. I didn't want to bother them with details about an escort, and besides using the Mokuton I could probably make the journey alone in a day. Another sip of calming tea eased its way down my throat. It wasn't professional to just take off though…

I jolted back awake in an instant. My surroundings seemed a little blurry so, I rubbed my eyes furiously to clear my vision. The chair was too comfortable I suddenly felt like snuggling into it. Perhaps the organisation for the festival was taking its toll if I needed a nap in the afternoon! I laughed and walked over to the sink to splash my face with cold water. This didn't seem to have the shocking effect I expected as the sleepiness continued to grow. It was strange I felt so energised a moment ago. Now, my body was slowing down like I'd just eaten a full meal. My stomach ached as if it were bloated. There was a dizziness creeping in and the next moment I was falling.

Coming to my senses I woke up with a start. What the heck happened? I sat up with a throbbing head and parched mouth. There was a bitter powdery taste on the tongue and I spat trying to get rid of it. Looking about me I could see the sun low in the sky, it was well past noon. Shiro would worry like mad if she knew I'd fainted randomly. It was only then that I noticed my hands and legs were bound with rope. Eventually the cloud lifted and the full extent of my situation was becoming increasingly clear. I was slumped against the door and tied up in my own office. My immediate concern was for Shiro. Was there an assassin in the house?

When I breathed deeply to force calm I could hear voices from beyond the door. By tilting my head at a certain angle towards the key hole I could hear snippets of sound from the next room. I needed to know what was going on. Wiggling closer to the door I strained my ears trying to gather information.

"You can't just change your mind," one voice spoke with a sneer. "This was a cushy number which is more than you deserve." It sounded like a young man but it was muffled and disjointed. "Don't talk to me about morals just because things turn a little nasty. You've been playing this game for a long while. The terms and conditions were agreed. You signed the contract – so finish the job!"

Another voice lighter this time distinctly feminine, "I know what I agreed and I have followed my orders to the letter. Until today my performance has been impeccable." The second voice paused as the first mumbled something inaudibly. "I can not go through with what has been asked. There is no point in trying to pressurise me."

"You'll forfeit the remainder of the bargain, is that what you want? The male asked in a harsh tone.

"Please, there must a compromise." Again the male spoke quietly and I struggled to catch his words. "What harm could there be allowing the Ambassador to visit her family?" the female reasoned. "That is no justification for murder."

My eyes blinked, I didn't know who was behind the door. I only knew that they were talking about me, and if I wanted to see another sunrise I had to escape – fast!


	26. Little White Lies

**Chapter 26 **

**Little White Lies**

The ropes were tied so tightly that my wrists were beginning bleed and throb. I could feel blood trickling over my fingers and spilling onto the floor. When I tried to move the pain shot through me and I gave a low cry. The voices stopped and my body froze in horror.

"What was that?" The male voice demanded. "I thought you said she was knocked out!"

Footsteps bounded towards the office. I grunted against the wall pushing my body into a standing position, despite the pain. The door exploded open and in walked Kankuro glancing to the left and then the right. I smacked my wrists onto the top of his head and proceeded to make a swift exit. The porch doors were just ahead and I slammed into them before fumbling with the catch.

I wasn't sure which was more disturbing; finding out that Kankuro was trying to kill me or the lack of surprise about it. It was old news that the elder brother hated my guts and wanted to be rid of any Konohagakure influence. Still, I didn't expect him to have a partner involved in the affair. I hoped against hope it wasn't Temari that I'd heard speaking with him. All this I pondered while I struggled on with the final latch. Suddenly there was something sharp and cold lodged in the small of my back.

"Don't move," the voice warned. "Look straight ahead and head back towards the room. Don't try any funny moves or I won't hesitate to kill you."

We came back to the office and I smirked at Kankuro who was keeled over in agony.

"What are you playing at?" the woman asked spitefully.

"Stupid bitch," Kankuro growled in my direction.

"Never mind that - take the chair," she must have gestured for the ninja to turn my small wooden stool (that I kept to reach the higher regions of my bookshelf) towards the opposite wall. The sand sibling did as instructed looking past my shoulder.

"Sit there," the voice said firmly. I sat down awkwardly bending my knees until I was sure my bottom had a secure landing. The second of my 'would be' assassins was determined not to reveal herself just yet.

"So, what do you suggest we do now?" He challenged. "We can't keep her cooped up in here. The old fogies will know she's missing, they're planning that blasted festival remember?"

"Leave Rooba and the children to me. I'll explain that the Ambassador has other plans. It won't be a problem they'll forget about it given due time."

"You must both be pretty dim if you think that'll ever happen!" I mocked them. "It was Grandma Rooba's idea in the first place. There's no way she would allow me to crawl out of it that easily."

Kankuro jumped up teasing a shuriken into my side. "Think you're so clever, don't you? Got the village wrapped around that sweet, little finger of yours. I've a good mind to cut it off!" He grasped my smaller finger and bent it backwards to emphasise the point.

"Gaara will hear about this," I promised my threat was met with a giggling sigh. There seemed to be something particularly amusing about my threat that tickled the older brother.

"Gaara will hear about it? He practically authorised it!" The black figure bent down and cupped my face in his hand. He forced my chin upwards to meet his smirking gaze. Behind the purple paint I could see his crow black eyes glinting with glee. Seeing me tied up like this was like a sick thrill for him. "Since you came here people have been going soft! The ninja of Sunagakure have a certain reputation to keep up. I'm not going to let you run free and mouth off some rubbish about us - I'm in charge of security."

"What are you talking about? I'm bound by a confidentiality agreement!"

"Yeah, well your agreement means zip to me. I make my own insurance and believe me, _Ambassador_- it never fails." He said my title as if it was a name that shouldn't be mentioned in polite society. I didn't realise how unbalanced and paranoid Kankuro was. Had he been harbouring these ill conceived thoughts since day one?

He was making me angry, sounding off and moaning as if I'd caused him nothing but endless problems.

"Showing compassion isn't a sign of weakness-" He clamped a sweaty, hot palm over my nose and mouth. The smell of sweat and metal stung up my nostrils.

"Just shut up!" He hissed.

"Enough…" a slender hand grasped Kankuro's wrist and prised it away.

BOOM! Kankuro toppled backwards over my desk.

The Mokuton branches worked as planned as I tumbled backwards. I ripped the remaining shreds of rope apart and whirled around to face my attacker. Finally I came face to face with the woman, my mouth dropped wide open.

"This isn't happening to me," I said in stark denial. "There's just no way."

But it was true and it was happening. The woman was wearing a daffodil yellow wrap top and black trousers; she _did_have viridian green hair. The only difference was this woman could speak with a voice of authority - clear and strong. This woman was supposed to be my mute housekeeper, only now I was the one who was speechless.

Her voice was tinged with regret. "Oh Yasu, please don't think ill of me."

"You drugged the tea?" I found my voice somehow.

"It was the only way to stop you leaving. You'd have been killed Yasu and I didn't want that."

We'd been living together for a whole year and I had never suspected. All those evenings weathering the sand storms in the rickety house, creating sign language to communicate, it had all been a hoax. She said her performance to date was impeccable then it struck me, _performance _like a stab to the heart.

"You _lied_ to me," I flared back stinging with the betrayal.

Shiro spoke calmly, "I told some little white lies perhaps."

"I trusted you - loved you as a sister. All this time, if there was one person I thought I could count on to be honest with me. Our whole friendship was just an act for you, wasn't it? You never even gave a damn."

Try as she might the older woman couldn't hide her guilt. Although she stood tall with a dagger at the ready it didn't fool anyone.

"They told me some kid was coming to Suna as part of the peace treaty. The council wanted a spy to keep tabs on what the Ambassador was up to. The pay was exceptional but there was a set of conditions."

"How terrible for you," I sniffed feeling my prickly temper rising. "It must have been so inconvenient to baby sit and make endless cups of tea."

"Maybe in the beginning but once I got to know you…"

"Oh save it! I can't believe a single word that comes out your mouth, you know why? Because you're not even meant to be able to talk! Gaara told me you were a mute, did he know?"

"Yasu…" she pleaded. "Don't take it personally, it was decided a long time ago."

"_Did he know_?" I barked, a cold chill running down my spine. She stood there the answer already plain to see. I felt winded like I'd been punched in the heart. It pulled and twisted inside. If Gaara knew they all knew, every single one of them and I was a pathetic laughing stock.

My chest heaved as power burst out of me - two thick oak branches pinning a stunned Shiro against the upturned desk. I gave a final glance before releasing my feet and making a quick getaway.

My rucksack was still waiting on the bed and I swung it roughly over my shoulder. There was no going back I couldn't picture my house keeper in the same light anymore. I thought she was a fragile human being that needed empathy and a friend. To find out that she'd been chosen only to spy and deceive her target by any means necessary was a bitter pill to swallow. I used to believe in what my father taught that the strongest person could let bygones be bygones. I wondered if he'd ever come across a situation like this with a team mate someone he trusted. Would he have followed his own advice so easily?

The determined run to the Administration building seemed to take forever, there was a biting wind snatching at my hair. My usual trail of reasonable thought was cast aside; the indignity of being treated so…coldly, so impersonally it was more than I could stand. How could they do that to me? Did my services this past year mean _nothing_ to them?

As I stormed under the archway heading towards the main door a startled guard called, "Hey, you got an appointment for today?"

"I don't need an appointment!" I roared back. "I'll be speaking to Master Gaara, presently whether he likes it or not!"

My unusual behaviour shocked the guard and he retrieved a kunai immediately from his pocket. Before he had the chance to consider the consequences for using the weapon against a diplomat, Baki arrived to see what the fuss was about.

"What do you want, Ambassador Katashi?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"I want to know," I replied with restraint. "If Master Gaara could spent a little of his most precious time to explain a troubling question that I have."

"Oh?" The older man enquired.

""LIKE, WHY MY MUTE HOUSE KEEPER CAN BLOODY TALK?!" I screamed allowing my voice to build into a shrieking crescendo.

"The Kazekage is otherwise engaged at the moment. Nevertheless I shall pass on the message, Ambassador."

"I don't want to speak to the Kazekage! My business is with Gaara – tell him to get out here or I will plant a forest in his backyard, you hear me?"

His voice grew soft as feathers which made me stop ranting. "Yasu, Gaara _is _the Kage."

The news floated in the dry air between us it wasn't going in. All fire and brimstone extinguished as I stood there dumbly. Gaara was the Kazekage, how was that even possible? He was so young, he was inexperienced and… he didn't tell me.

"He took up the post two months ago at the request of the high council. Gaara's efforts to control his previous homicidal tendencies have been met with approval."

"Oh…good," I replied stupidly. It was the ultimate role, taking the place of his father and leading Suna into a new age of prosperity and hope.

"I'm happy for him." My bottom lip trembled through the lie, "I think he'll make a great Kazekage."

Baki respectfully nodded and closed the door.

Was that it? I thought sadly. To rush up here only to be told news that was two months old? I felt out of kilter as if I'd been living in a completely different world to everybody else. My world of trust, companionship and light was brought crashing down. It seemed perhaps that nothing had changed, and the dark secrets that choked Suna were very much alive and well. I'd been ensnared in the web, responding to obvious and direct dangers completely oblivious to the covert ones. I had revealed my hand to everyone and in return their cards remained unturned hidden from my sight.

This village idiot didn't find the joke so funny anymore. Deflated with nothing left to do, my body went into auto pilot and I turned back the way I had come.


	27. A Story of Two Halves

**Chapter 27 – A Story of Two Halves. **

Gaara looked once more at the scroll in front of him it was a letter from the Raikage, the leader in the Land of Lightning. The swirls and tails of the beautiful handwriting danced across the page. It was a greeting of congratulations to the new Kazekage and an extended invitation to visit at the nearest opportunity. He picked up the fine brush and attempted to compose a reply. His strokes in comparison were scrawny and tiny he wasn't used to writing letters with big, important sounding words and a confident flair. His letter seemed disjointed and crude like he hadn't made the effort even though he knew he had.

Thoughts trailed back to the girl as he peered out the window at the moon. How he yearned to escape and sit on those same steps listening and talking about things that didn't matter. In this place everything was judged; his posture, his health, his power, his manner - his actions recorded, interpreted and analysed, day after day. The smallest mistake could lead to the biggest war, throwaway comments came back to stab you and most disturbing was the invisible gap that suddenly existed. The bubble that prevented him from touching reality and a world he had only just begun to know.

He closed his eyes nestling a heavy head into the cradle of his hands. There was bright sunlight and the flowers with a sweet fragrance that lifted the spirit. Laughter echoed and music, delightful, soft music that was played with delicate strokes. So many colours lain on the floor in bright paper chains, weaving patterns and banners with splodges of paint streaming down drying in the Suna sun. The pleasant chatter and shining eyes of the children embedded in his mind. Then of course there was the Ambassador…

His thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock at the door, and when it was ignored the knock became louder and more urgent.

"Come in," Gaara sighed, he filed the letter into a pile of steadily mounting paperwork before clasping his fingers together on the desk.

Kankuro jerked his body through the door with Shiro close behind him. He surveyed his younger brother trying to work out what kind of mood he was in. He couldn't get used to seeing Gaara like this. His face was already too pale but with the white and blue dress robes it made him look like a ghost; a ghost haunting the same place that his old man occupied only a year ago. When the council proposed that it was _he_who should carry the torch and continue to lead the village, Kankuro remembered clearly how he was shocked into silence.

"We've got problems." The black hooded ninja wheezed, clutching a bloody bandage to his head which was seeping with ruby liquid. "She's gone."

"Gone where?" The Kazekage replied without even asking whom.

"Pardon me, sir. The Ambassador is heading back to Konohagakure to visit her family, only she's a little upset at the moment…" Shiro tried not to stare at the boy wearing the Kage hat as she continued her story. "My cover has been blown. I'm afraid that I was unable to fulfil the additional duties of our contract."

"And what additional duties are you referring to?"

She looked puzzled then, "to eliminate the target should there be due cause."

The cool eyes widened and flickered towards the other male ninja who avoided eye contact.

"What due cause?" He asked slowly.

"Cause to believe critical information could be compromised, sir." Shiro replied. "Kazekage, forgive me for saying this but Yasu, – sorry, the Ambassador has always firmly respected and abided by the confidentiality agreement that was signed at the peace treaty. I have never had reason to suspect that she may betray us. Her desire to visit Konoha is purely for personal reasons and for that I do not believe she deserves to die!"

"I concur on that point. Take Temari and form a search party, Kankuro will joining you, shortly. Ensure the Ambassador is found and accompany her back to the Land of Wind." Gaara carefully leaned over in his seat across the desk, "Are my orders clear?"

The former house keeper bowed and smiled back at him with relief, "Crystal clear Kazekage, thank you." With that she left the brothers in the main office alone.

It was already hot and sticky enough in the room, with the Kage robes on top Gaara felt he was being smothered. He snatched the wide brimmed hat and threw it irritably onto the desk. His red hair was dishevelled and flattened against his scalp.

"What is this nonsense about?" He'd already accepted that his elder brother had gone behind his back and issued orders. It was clear Shiro had been unaware of the Kazekage's lack of communication with his head of security. Perhaps that was the mistake of having family involved in the organisation of the village. He was adamant that he would learn from the blunder.

"So I added a few details to the contract, big deal!" Kankuro stayed crouched on the floor clutching his head. The ninja growled in self pity unable to understand why he was facing such scrutiny. "It was something that had to be done – someone had to stop her! I couldn't just watch as she _took over_."

Gaara tried to weigh up his brother's justification. He thought about the Ambassador's behaviour since her arrival; what she had said and done over the course of the year. Was there anything suspicious that he could have missed? It seemed to be unlikely - the girl wasn't a very convincing liar.

"Do you take me as a fool?" He asked plainly. "You speak of the Ambassador as a traitor, yet from where I stand it is _you_ who has crossed the line."

"_I've_ crossed the line? What the hell gives you the right to question _my_ loyalty to the village?"

"It is not your loyalty to the village that I question. Your insubordinate actions are a clear indication that you do not trust my current leadership; that you believe the council made an error in judgement."

"You've got that right! The higher-ups might have put you in that chair, but they don't think much of you. Their praying that your reputation is gonna be enough to starve off take over attempts from the other hidden villages. Most people have to work hard and _earn the right_to become Kage. The job is handed to you on a plate at thirteen years old! Where is the fucking sense in that?

After two months of being Kazekage the villagers are still terrified of you. How the hell can you lead a village that hates your guts?" Kankuro looked at the young leader surprised he hadn't been punched or slapped by the sand. Gaara was listening intently although it be with a dangerous glare.

"I know that." He admitted grudgingly. "But to do nothing and reject the post would have caused more fear and suffering. In order to escape a path of loneliness, I decided to accept. You are right Kankuro, to become Kage you must work tirelessly and earn the privilege. Therefore from this beginning I choose to work hard and make my own path. That's why I became Kazekage as a Shinobi of Sand. So I can live a life connected to my village."

"Gaara..." The older brother couldn't believe what Gaara was saying.

"I want to work hard so that others will accept my existence. That's what I thought when I looked at Naruto Uzumaki."

"That blond haired brat?" He exclaimed.

The ninja remembered Naruto from the chunin exams; loud and fiesty, with a big mouth. What could he teach Gaara that would make him act in such a strange way?

"Up until now, my bonds with others have only been ones of pain. But, seeing him fight so hard made me wonder what a bond really is. I think I understand a little now. Suffering, sadness... and joy. To be able to share it with another person...Naruto Uzumaki... When I fought him, I feel that is what he taught me. He knows the same suffering as I do. And he taught me that you can change how you live your life."

"_Change_?" Kankuro wondered outloud.

"I can only change if others are willing to change with me." He looked carefully at his older brother. "If I can create a bond with my people, you must put aside your resentment towards the Ambassador."

He could see now that Gaara was not arrogant about his newly acquired status. Kankuro lifted his head and studied the Kage. The red haired teen had a natural air of authority and held a power that would never be underestimated. He spoke few words and as every Sunan knew a wise man says very little. Perhaps these qualities could be nurtured over time and Gaara would become the best Kazekage that Suna had ever had. There was so much his brother needed to learn. How could he take on such responsibilities and not moan or complain?

The black hood flipped back revealing Kankuro's chestnut brown hair. He sighed deeply, his thoughts wrapped in a mix of confusion and sudden admiration for his youngest sibling. After all that had happened to him over the years, to hear him speaking with such determination was incredible. Why would anyone want to be connected to a place that held so many unpleasant memories?

Kankuro wondered in his heart whether he was strong enough to drag himself away from the past and move forward. As the oldest son wasn't it his responsibility to set a good example?

"Alright Gaara, I'll give it a shot." He stood up finally, pulling the straps of his bandaged cargo a little higher up his shoulders.

"Kankuro, your actions will need to be atoned for at a later date."

"I get it Gaara, you coming to find Yasu? She might be a little mad about the whole Shiro thing..." The red head nodded although with slight hesitation.

"Yes, I also failed to mention my appointment as Kage."

Kankuro was surprised and whistled with sympathy, "Ouch, she's gonna be pissed."

"Indeed."

* * *

Trying not to think too much I huddled against the large boulder staring straight ahead. I had a tight knot in my gut – the same kind I always had in those dreams when I'm running away from something. My body tensed up and I had to force myself not to jump at every sound. I didn't know if Shiro and Kankuro were still onto me or if by some miracle I'd managed to lose them. It didn't matter anyway, if Gaara wanted my head I was already dead. Not that I completely understood why visiting my family was suspected treason!

The revelations of today were swimming in my thoughts. I had to get home to Konoha somehow, and once I was there I would be safe.

There were two guards I'd spotted with my keen eye patrolling the west gate towards the Land of Fire. There was a blind spot just to the left between the first two columns. That was where I could run to and wait for the opportune moment to use the Mokuton jutsu and sneak out. There wasn't much time and if I messed things up, I wouldn't have another chance.

"Hey," the greeting rattled into my ears.

"Shit!" I gasped aloud realising it was Temari. Instantly I was on my feet reaching for the kunai in my back pocket. "Keep away from me, I mean it!"

"What are you trying to do now?" She asked as though I'd lost my mind.

"Shut up, you know exactly what I'm doing! I'm not staying around here a moment longer," I hissed. "So if you're not here to drag me back to Kankuro and Shiro, leave me in peace!"

Temari leaned against the boulder casually, a smirk painted on her face. "Why are you acting _so weird_?"

I placed a finger to my own lips and rechecked the position of the guards.

She tapped me roughly on the shoulder, "Toshie's worried about you. The kid was whining saying Lady Leaf had just blanked her – went storming off somewhere. Are you listening, Loser?"

"I want to be left alone," I mumoured slowly not looking up. "I can't deal with your games right now. This is my life I'm talking about! I'm making my escape whether you like it or not."

"Escape through the gate? - That's original. They'll be more guards stationed outside you know, and they can drag escapees back in as well as keeping intruders out."

"All the same…"

"Look, this is getting old. Whatever the hell happened stop being such a wimp about it," Temari hissed back attempting to cut to the chase.

"Whatever Kankuro says I would never break the confidentuality agreement between our two countries."

My serious tone wasn't lost on the Kazekage's sister. "Have you completely lost it?" She asked, placing two strong hands on my shoulders, her teal eyes wide with concern.

"Just leave me alone." I pushed her away trying to keep my voice low. I'd been crying, the faint hints of tearful streaks hadn't quite dried. I turned around, fire burning in the pools of my liquid sapphire eyes. "Did you know about Shiro spying on me all this time?"

"Of course I did." The ninja replied immediately. "What exactly did you expect when you first arrived, that we'd just let you wonder around with no supervision?"

"You should have told me. There was no need for secrets and lies – I would have understood." my voice was laced with bitterness.

"What is your problem?" Temari demanded. "What's done is done. Think about it, if I was an Ambassador living in _your_ village would you trust me straight away?"

"It doesn't make a difference now anyway, Kankuro is after me and I have to get out of here. He said Gaara wants my head for treason and since Gaara is the Kazekage now…" I grunted with frustration. "All I wanted was to see my family. Temari, I haven't seen Naoki and my mother for a whole year. I haven't received a single letter from either of them-"

"What the devil are you jabbering on about now? Talk about paranoid, you don't have to justify any of that to me. Kankuro wants _you _for treason? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!" She paused noticing for the first time how scared I was. "Yasu, no one from the Sand Village is going to kill you, alright?"

I wanted to believe her but I didn't know who to trust anymore. I took a deep breath allowing my tense muscles to relax and wiped a clammy hand over my forehead. There was still an opening if I wanted it, all I had to do was run.

"You already know it's not pleasant to be caught up in the desert winds - very few make it back alive." Temari lowered her voice to a sinister whisper. "Even the hardiest traveller can be thrown miles off course from the nearest oasis in the dark. I've heard stories of bodies being discovered years later; brittle, chalky white bones sticking out under tatters of cloth. Bodies that have been zapped and stripped of all moisture baking under the furnace of the unrelenting sun.

I remember telling Kankuro the ghost story about 'the dead of the shifting sands,' arising from their nameless graves at midnight to stalk the living lost in the desert. You know those tales always have some original element of truth in them."

She looked from the gate and back to me quite amused, "The guards know something's up."

"I can make it," I growled, eyes still fixed on the dark shadow by the first column.

"So, what do you think about Gaara's new role?"

"Why bother asking it's obvious my opinion doesn't matter."

Temari chuckled lightly, "You're the Ambassador stands to rights that you'd be the last to know." I wasn't impressed with this particular argument. "You work for the Hokage, you're a diplomat from another country why should you know what happens first in Suna? On another note," She came closer to me. "Are you sulking because Lady Tsunade will have second hand gossip, or because Gaara didn't tell you?"

"I am not petty enough that I would sulk about something so trivial!" I hushed back sounding more indignant than mature.

"Right…" Temari drew the word out before clicking her tongue, "Gaara didn't tell you, he had his reasons - deal with it."

"I'm the Ambassador, he should have told me!" I grumbled.

"Yeah, and he's the Kazekage it's his decision when to announce the appointment. I don't understand why you're taking this so personally."

"_I'm not taking it personally_," I snapped back with rage. My voice echoed around the stone walls and the two ninja suddenly stopped their rounds and stared at me.

Temari grinned and waved a signal back at the guards, who returned to their patrols.

I knew that I was being stubborn of course everything about this situation was _very_ personal. My feelings were like a ball of wool slowly unravelling and coming undone. I was trying so hard to wind the strands back together but it was all happening too quickly.

"Yasu, for what it's worth I know you're over reacting."

"So I just imagined that Kankuro and Shiro tied me up in my own office?" I huffed back with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"Not Kankuro, Gaara. I think you're over reacting about Gaara."

I rested my forehead on the boulder and closed my eyes so tightly that I could see misty clouds of white. I couldn't help but think of him and the sting in my heart worsened.

"You're acting like it's the end of the world. Can't you think of even one reason why he _wouldn't_ tell you? I thought you were good at that, understanding why people behave the way they do…am I wrong? You go around changing habits of a lifetime, come face to face with Shukaku and live to tell the tale, avoid assassinations and organise festivals taking it all in your stride. Why is it when it comes to my brother, you start falling apart?" Temari looked hard at me and I couldn't bring myself to face her. My cheeks began to feel warm again and I struggled with an inner fire that made my pulse race.

After a while she gave up, "Look, if you wait until the desert storm is over I can escort you back to Konohagakure myself. In the meantime - smile! I hate seeing your miserable mug you're not some puppy I've just kicked. Are you the Ambassador of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, or not?"

In its own way Temari's reality check was a most effective medicine. I wondered about the questions she'd asked me and could find no acceptable answers. I didn't want to think about why I'd freaked out, and I certainly didn't want to think about Gaara. All I wanted was to get home in one piece.


	28. Reunion

**Chapter 28**

**Reunion **

I gazed calmly under the shady, green trees with glints of sunlight appearing and disappearing playfully. Another night under the stars was over and each was bringing me closer to Konoha. It was true what Takumi had asked me, how can you miss a place if you never leave it? At the time I didn't appreciate what he was trying to tell me. Maybe even he knew as Master Homura did that I was suffocating and needed to escape.

If Mother had her way I would never have left in the first place and feel the bubbling excitement that I did now. Had I missed the cool and forgiving breezes? Or perhaps the soft earth under my feet and the fresh air that filled my lungs? Whatever it was I was beginning to feel much better.

I didn't realise that being an Ambassador would be so difficult. Physically I looked fine with muscles and a toned body but inside it was a different story. It wasn't until now that I discovered how drained I felt, as if I had given too much. It was strange how you know something isn't quite right with you, but to try and explain it to someone else is impossible. Sometimes the only person who can sort things out is you and even if I wasn't quite there yet, I soon would be.

The sand siblings were having trouble keeping up with me as we dashed from tree to tree. Kankuro in particular found my enthusiasm most annoying as he was still nursing a rather solid lump on the back of his head. He had tried to apologise many times but I wasn't interested in what he had to say. Temari and the Kazekage were silent in equal measure following my lead and checking for dangers.

We continued at speed heading towards the clearing until finally there it was. I'd never seen the structure from this side and realised how majestic and imposing the Konohagkure main gate was. Its huge green doors stood closed with a large red hiragana painted above with the word retreat. My father had told me once that the Village Hidden in the Leaves was a place of refuge for many people. Its doors would open to those who needed help and provide a sanctuary for them. Above the gate stood the guards known as Kotetsu and Izumo.

"Ambassador Katashi, with escort," I announced looking up at them. The two men; one with a bandage that spread across his nose and cheeks had spiky black hair that jutted out in several directions at once. The other man wore a cap with a leaf village head band firmly fixed in place. His hair completely masked the right half of his face which reminded me funnily enough of Baki.

They looked at me suspiciously for a few moments before the pulleys began to turn and the gigantic gates creaked open.

"Come on in, Ambassador." They gestured, watching us closely for any signs of abnormal activity.

We walked down the street towards the Hokage residence until I stopped for a moment.

"I'm going to talk to Naoki first." I told Temari who was about to protest, before I quickly scooted off in the direction of the Yamanaka flower shop. When I arrived, the shop attendant smiled, she was a girl about my own age with a long blond pony tail and blue hooped ear rings. I asked immediately if Naoki was working today.

"Naoki only works on a Saturday," she told me. "Knowing him, he'll be training at the academy with Naruto right about now."

"I should have known, thank you very much!" I replied before sprinting towards the academy buildings. As I darted through town there were more and more villagers stopping to point and stare at our group. I knew this wasn't the way to present myself especially after what happened a year ago but I was desperate to see my brother.

"This may not be wise, Ambassador," Gaara spoke his voice very low. His eyes caught mine as we ran alongside each other. "You should report to your superior."

"And I will, just as soon as I know Naoki is alright."

The school buildings came into sight and I spotted two figures just outside near the entrance. They were leaping and jumping all over the place. I could see one figure wearing an orange tracksuit that had to be the ninja Naruto. I was glad that Master Homura had kept his promise and asked the Genin to check on Naoki from time to time. As I looked more closely Naruto was dangling his headband in the air, he managed to dive out the way just as his companion reached toward it.

My face broke into a smile as I recognized the tufts of strawberry blond hair. He had grown so much at least three inches taller than when I left him. To see him grinning like that again with such confidence and spirit, I couldn't believe it was the same boy.

"Naoki!" I shouted with joy. My arms opened wide and scooped him up. "God, I've missed you!"

Two utterly confused green eyes blinked up at me, "Big Sister?" He asked searching my face and then surveying my clothes. "You look…different," His voice sounded strange.

"So do you!" I chirped with much affection. "You look so much stronger after a year. Has Naruto been looking after you? I asked him to see how you were doing. Why didn't you reply to any of my letters? I've been worried sick about you and mother…oh it doesn't matter anyhow!"

Naoki released himself from my embrace and backed away slowly.

"What's the matter, Oki?" Naruto asked with concern as the boy continued to step back.

My younger brother's eyes had narrowed and he crossed his arms. The smile that had shone so brightly for all to see disappeared. I could tell he was trying very hard to remain calm. "I sent you letters every day for the first three months," He said. "But you never bothered to reply. I thought maybe you were busy and needed to settle down into your new job."

I couldn't help but glare accusingly at Kankuro.

"Hey, that wasn't me!" He said nervously taking a stab at telling the truth for once.

"I trained hard with Naruto and time just seemed to slip by; the birthdays and father's anniversary I…thought maybe you'd come home for that. Mother and I, we waited by the gravestone for hours - waiting for you to come. Even when mother gave up I stood there in the dark, alone. Why didn't you come?"

"Naoki…" I didn't know where to begin. "Listen to me,"

"NO!" He yelled back forcefully. "You promised me that you were never going to go away. I thought you cared about me, when all the time you only cared about yourself!"

"That is _not true_," I gasped. "I thought about both of you every single day. I didn't get the letters I swear, and I know that somewhere along the line my letters have gone missing too. How about we take Naruto to Ichiraku ramen? We can go together and talk this through there has to be an explanation."

"Mother was right you're nothing but a rotten liar!" Naoki shrieked. "I hate you!"

"Whoa cut that out! You can't talk to your big sister like that…" Naruto began waving his hands frantically in front of Naoki. Through the hands I could see two green irises gleaming with pure boiling hatred for me. My brother was in great pain and it was my doing. I'd made the decision to leave, to do something for myself knowing full well the consequences.

It seemed to me that it had been the right decision seeing how Naoki was now – willing to stand up and fight. In the past he was so clingy that even if he did disagree with me, he would never dare say so just in case I abandoned him.

"It's alright, Naruto." I said quietly drawing my arms around me.

"What, are you just gonna let him talk to you like that?!" The hyper active ninja cried out angrily.

"Whatever you think of me, I'm telling the truth Naoki. Bonds between family don't break down just because I'm in a different country. I know Mother has probably spoken ill of me throughout the entire year. But you know the real me and I hope you can see past her wicked whispers and forgive me." I stood up abruptly. "Let's go," I said not looking back.

"Just keep away!" Naoki cried out after me. "I never want to see you again!"

My lips drew together tightly in a determined frown.

"I'm guessing that wasn't exactly the tearful reunion you had in mind." Temari muttered under her breath.

I screwed up my nose and continued walking it was time for Naoki to have a good cry. Naruto was there he'd be okay.

Maybe it was true I had been selfish choosing to follow orders for the sake of the village. What was more likely though was that mother had been planting ideas into the nine year old's brain. I knew how she worked. Scorned and disobeyed by me she'd started working on my sweet, naïve brother the day I left. I felt wretched, what else could go wrong?

Suddenly the two ninja from the main gate turned up.

"Ambassador," Kotetsu spoke officially. "The Hokage demands to see you immediately. It is most urgent."


	29. The Bubble Bursts

**Chapter 29**

**The Bubble Bursts**

I left the Sand siblings in the waiting room and walked into the Hokage's office. A familiar feeling was creeping into my conscious – I was in trouble. I observed the painted coral walls and emerald green panels that supported the ceiling. There were many small piles of books stacked on top of each other tied with string dotted around the room. In truth the place didn't look particularly organised.

In the centre was an orange desk where the beautiful Sannin glanced up from her papers with an unfriendly stare. A steaming cup of tea was also on the table alongside a collection of scrolls. I marvelled at the beauty of the Hokage rumours that she was in her fifties couldn't possibly be true! Her long blond hair was tied back in loose pigtails that trailed down her back. Her skin was so smooth and there was that unusual purple diamond mark on her forehead. Perhaps that was why the villagers referred to her as Hime I wondered.

In the presence of such an icon I was hopeless, unable to open the conversation and ask why I had been summoned so hastily. There was a young woman standing behind her this must be Shizune I thought, Tsunade's apprentice. She too had piercing eyes that seemed to look straight into my soul. I bowed to both trying to be polite.

"Come here," the blonde commanded gesturing me to venture forward towards the desk. "Let me look upon you." There was a strange tone to the woman's voice almost as though she was analysing a patient. I obeyed without question. The two women studied me for a time their disapproval increasing with each passing minute.

"So, you'd rather visit your family before making formal introductions to your own Hokage?"

"I'm really sorry ma'am. It's just I've really missed them and-" I was immediately interrupted.

"They tell me you can perform the Mokuton jutsu, Yasu, is that true?"

"Yes," I replied gulping at the change of subject. Matron Shun had been right the village elders wanted to know everything now there was no escaping the scrutiny this time.

"Did you know that there was only one man in the entire history of the Leaf that could use such jutsu?"

"Yes ma'am, it was the honourable Shodai Hokage, Senju Hashirama."

"That's right Ambassador, my grandfather," she threw a slip of paper towards the end of the table. "Pick it up," she barked roughly. Automatically I complied unsure why the Hokage's attitude was prickly. "Read it," Tsunade continued still searching, for what I did not know. There was overt annoyance in the way she held herself, shaking her head in disbelief. I felt frightened, what else had I done to displease the Godaime Hokage so much?

The paper was a doctor's report; my own case file from the hospital containing details about previous injuries, allergies and basic stats. I glanced nervously at the woman a steady bubble of terror expanding in my chest. What was I missing here? Why was I looking at my health record? I tried to speak but it felt disrespectful to ask questions about the actions of the village leader.

In all this time Tsunade's attention never wavered. She was watching like a hawk ready to hunt, looking for a particular sign. When none came Shizune gave her a meaningful look.

"I'm sorry," I pleaded my feet rooted to the spot. "I fail to understand…"

"Read the additional notes regarding the blood test," Shizune prodded me pointing at the red ink scribbled at the edge of the page. I was blood type O positive an extremely rare blood type. I read on, my mother was A, and my father was…A, my hands crushed the paper as I gripped it tightly. That wasn't right, how could I have such a difference in blood type? The DNA strands from my mother's report matched my own. I hesitated not entirely sure that I wanted to go on.

"What's the matter, Yasu?" the unyielding voice echoed around the room.

There was no going back I realised, attached to this report - another slip of paper, with yet another record of DNA data. I devoured both slips despite the strain of reading such tiny writing. My eyes widened in despair my father Kenshin was a mismatch the notes said in capital letters. A cough squeezed from my throat. The DNA pattern of this other man was the missing link. I read the name.

"I don't know who this man is!" I cried out struggling to comprehend what I'd just discovered.

"Are you sure?"

"I don't know!" I shrieked back in alarm.

Tsunade rose from the table and slapped me hard. "If you're lying to me I swear I'll have you beheaded!" Her voice was like thunder rattling every bone in my body.

I stayed on the floor completely numb staring blankly at the pair of black heels. What dawned on me first was that the person I thought was my father couldn't possibly be. The second were thoughts to my mother and suddenly I felt sick inside.

"That man, the DNA results matched was my own father," the female revealed. "I want to know Yasu, when your _whore _of a mother took advantage of an older man. How she bewitched him to the extent that he would cuckold my mother!"

"Lady Tsunade!" Shizune protested in horror. "The girl obviously did not know please allow her to speak with those involved."

"You've got to be kidding," I laughed at the ridiculous situation not feeling quite sane. "That makes us half sisters?"

"The Mokuton gene obviously by passed my father but lay dormant in his cells. I did not receive the Kekkei genkai heritage from my Grandfather. We'd assumed that the power was lost forever when it died with Hashirama," the Hokage pondered with laughter to match my own. "To find that a grunt like you carries the same blood in your veins is repulsive. I can't think of a person more unworthy of the honour that it makes me feel raped to the core!" she was physically shaking.

"What about Naoki?" I whimpered back.

"My God, if that boy is the same I will personally slaughter the lot of you! Do you not realise what your mother has done? When I look at you all I can think about is slicing your treacherous Katashi family into pieces."

I fell to my knees and begged, "Please don't! It's been a secret this long no one needs to know. I swear upon my life that I won't tell another human being. As long as I live it will never pass my lips again." I tugged at the green robe the Hokage was wearing. "Do what you must, place a genjutsu on me anything, but please spare my family!"

The Godaime Hokage considered my grovelling form with contempt. There was nothing more I could do to pacify the woman. I was at a loss having felt betrayed and hurt only a few days ago I thought home would be a safe place. I could understand the outrage and indignity of Lady Tsunade's situation. What made things worse was that I was the sole cause of it. This was something that couldn't be put right, no matter how hard I tried.

"I'll throw you back to Suna with pleasure!" the Sannin growled. "You are _forbidden_ to use the Mokuton jutsu and if you disobey me, _you'll be sorry_! Now, get out of my sight!"

* * *

I don't remember the walk back to mother it was a fusion of sounds and colours. Someone was calling my name but I couldn't respond.

"I have to see mother," I told them and said no more.

Vaguely I recalled children running down the street and the leaves rustling in the wind. It was a woozy daydream I was floating unable to feel the ground beneath my feet. All the shouts and music was muffled as though my ears were underwater. My body was in the centre of the village and yet I didn't feel that I was here at all. It was a separate world I no longer belonged to. I could see the buildings, touch them. I could taste the squid cooking on the open grills and smell their overpowering aroma. Yet I felt detached, uprooted almost.

When I was in Suna all I craved for was the comforts of home and now… I sighed and asked myself hopelessly, "Where do I belong?"

At dusk the house was partially cast in blue shadow. The honey glow of light from the windows made a welcoming scene. I paused at the entrance removing my sandals

before finally stepping inside.

Mother was in the kitchen peeling vegetables as I came in. I sat down stiffly into one of the nearby chairs staring hard at her back. She was a petite woman with blond hair just like mine although hers had silver strands intertwined. At forty five years old and a widow my mother had certainly not allowed herself to become a shrivelled flower. She wore a scarlet red kimono fashioned with green lotus flowers and short sleeves. Her posture was always so grand, always so sure of itself, proud like a peacock. I couldn't help but wonder how this conversation was going to happen. Mother had a way that could make even the hardiest of men think twice. With a tongue quick as a viper's strike and a scolding temper to match.

Inside of me there was doubt battling with a desperate need to know the truth. If I wanted to settle this and find any peace of mind I had to do it. I'd faced worse things and lived to tell the tale, somehow they didn't compare to facing the wrath of mother. I searched for Naoki and when I confirmed he was nowhere about I took a deep breath.

"Mother, I need to ask you something." Speaking the words with a calm I did not feel.

"Trust you to ask questions when you can clearly see there is work to be done!" She turned around evidently annoyed. "Have you forgotten a daughter's duty to assist her mother? Or has becoming Ambassador wiped away any manners you have left?"

I jumped to my feet scuttling over to the bowls and chop sticks.

"I apologise mother…"

"So you should," she replied waspishly. "Honestly, you disappear for a year leaving your mother and brother to fend for themselves, living the high life!"

"I wouldn't call being Ambassador easy, mother."

"Don't you contradict me I am still your mother and you can forget your fancy airs and graces here. I don't want to hear any back chat from you…"

I looked at the bowls in my hands listening to the continued nagging and droning behind me. The negative ranting held no love or pride for the things that I'd achieved. Yes, I had made my own fair share of mistakes and abandoned home. However there were things that I had done well too. I had survived and lived a full life in Suna - without my mother's protection. I had grown and matured into a stronger person. The skills I had learnt and the people I'd met were fascinating. Surely a parent could make time to listen and forgive the mistakes.

Why was it that people felt they could shout at me like that? Putting me down and recalling my failings and short comings. Why was Yasu Katashi nothing but a disappointment to the people who were supposed to care about her?

There was a craziness spreading. A hot band stretched across my forehead then down into my cheeks making them flush. I held the bowls a little higher allowing the madness to sink in before letting them crash to the floor.

"What do you think you're _doing_?" my mother squawked. "Pick the pieces up at once you clumsy girl!"

I whirled around and held my mother's gaze deliberately. "No," I said.

"You will do as you're told!" the bully rounded on me.

"When did you plan on telling me that Kenshin Katashi was not my real father?"

That stopped her immediately. She stepped back towards the table taking care not to stand on the pieces of broken pristine china.

"Where did you hear such nonsense?" She asked her voice softening. "Did Naoki's friends say that to you? Little Yasu, always so gullible. I'm disappointed I thought you'd have grown up. Come now, pick up the pieces and we'll say no more."

"It was the Godaime Hokage," I corrected her crossing my arms. "She said you had an affair."

"An affair?" The older woman snorted. "How could you even think that I would cause such dishonour to our family?"

"I saw the records mother," my voice was dispassionate.

"You can falsify records Yasu, use your brain!" she sighed.

"Are you calling the Hokage, a liar?" I narrowed my eyes seeing for the first time how manipulative my mother could be. "Did father know that you cheated on him? Did you lie to him too?" I demanded raising my voice.

"How dare you!" she boomed the mask cracking in front of my eyes. The pose and control that she displayed was falling away. I could see now everything was true. The woman was in complete stark denial. "After everything I have sacrificed for you. I brought you up alone and for what! To be judged by a weak brat. I never wanted you!" she cackled slyly hazel eyes flashing. "You were a mistake."

In a strange way I was prepared for such cruelty. I didn't crumble and when she saw that her power over me was gone it infuriated her. The only regret I felt was that I'd not stood up to my own monster sooner.

"No, you made mistakes and you've been trying to punish me for them my whole life," I said bravely as my heart was breaking. "I tried to please you. I did everything you asked and it still wasn't enough. Mother, you _lied_ to me."

The proud woman had turned her back on me. I had no idea what expression she wore and nor did I care. My hands clasped together feebly. Time seemed to slow down and I felt the hurt sweeping through me. There was no reason to stay I thought licking my lips out of habit.

"Why didn't Naoki receive my letters?" I asked coldly.

"Do you think that I would allow my only son to read such utter nonsense?"

"Goodbye Mother," I said firmly walking towards the door and sliding it open.

Time was passing but I had no idea how long it had been since walking from the house away from the bustling streets. I had such dark desires to be completely alone cut off from human contact for the rest of my life. To jump into a lake and sink to the bottom where no one could find me. The freedom was elevating with the cost so high that I wondered if I could ever smile or be happy again.

I stumbled across the clearing which revealed a steeper slope, this I climbed. Upon reaching the crest of the grassy hill I fell onto my back exhausted. The anger sustained me for a while but before long the calm came. The tears also came, a forgotten release that I allowed in after rejecting it for so long - it was bliss. Yasu Katashi could weep and it didn't matter.

Light rain drops fell steadily onto the bridge of my nose. I stayed there feeling the damp seep into my robes icy cold, as cold as the stars. In a trance I folded my hands inside the sleeves and stared dumbly. The rain became heavier and more prominent. I should find shelter I thought lazily. Sneezing I dried my nose with a wet tissue and smoothed back the pangs of hair that clung to my face.

"It will not do much good to become ill," Gaara crouched by me the sand creating an arch above us stopping the rain.

"What do you care," I spoke freely. "Why should the great Kazekage of Suna give a damn about my welfare, hmm?"

Gaara cleared his throat. "Have you no respect for yourself?"

When there was no response the red head took a brief moment to rethink. It was no fun having two taciturn people in this conversation and Gaara found the experience uncomfortable.

"I followed you to the house," he confessed. "I heard the exchange..."

I continued to sulk. He'd heard every nasty detail about my life. No doubt further disgusted at my mother's infidelity and how it reflected upon me. "Your conduct was admirable in such circumstances. Are you…" He broke off abruptly. "_Are you_," he forced the question into the open air once more. "Alright, Yasu?"

The stinging in my throat was unbearable how could he ask me that?

"Like a few things recently, - I'm not the person I thought I was," I said glumly. Why was this happening to me? All the people and places that kept me grounded were disappearing. There were voices, cruel slurs and rebukes tearing into me. People I trusted had _hurt_ me. Was it because of my stupid, petty ways? Perhaps it was to punish me for the mistakes I had made. I was stumbling into a fog. There was a sinking feeling creeping in, dragging me down into emptiness. Somewhere that was devoid of all happiness, somewhere cold. I could feel my sanity draining away, so pathetic and so small. I was useless after all, what reason did I have to be here?

"I may as well just not exist." Tears stained my face the sinking tide threatening to swallow me whole.

Then it stopped. I could feel again, a warm hand clutching my own. It curled around mine tightly our fingers meeting together. There was compassion there I felt it, as we linked hands. In complete shock my stomach fluttered nervously. There was a look of panic on his handsome features, but he didn't let go. He gazed at the rain instead breathing steadily through his nose.

"You hate the rain…" I remembered suddenly.

"Yes," he confirmed saying nothing more.


	30. Loose ends

**Chapter thirty – Loose Ends**

The next morning I woke up in complete disorientation and more than a little panicky. I hadn't slept well. My bed hair jutted out in many different directions as though I'd been dragged through a thorn bush. As I gazed in confusion at my surroundings a table came into focus with a glass vase. Inside the vase were a bunch of red and yellow freesias with an overpowering sweet scent. The curtains were agape allowing a small trickle of sunlight to creep onto the covers of my bed.

What happened again?

I could remember sitting on the steep hill in the rain - beginning to catch a chill. I'd just spoken to Mother after the most disturbing of revelations from the fifth Hokage...

"Good morning Yasu," a cheerful and low voice sang from the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

I took one look at the elderly man wearing green rimmed spectacles and pulled the sheet forcefully back over my head. "Go away," I moaned.

It was childish perhaps to be speaking in such a rude manner, especially to someone as respected and honoured as Master Homura. What he didn't understand was that I was afraid. The people I had spoken with yesterday all hated me for one reason or another. I couldn't take another blow I just needed to stay here; under the covers, and reclaim my fragile state of sanity. It had been a lifetime since I'd stayed in bed all day and had done absolutely nothing.

A bony finger poked my upper arm and began to laugh, "come on Ambassador, we don't have the time to be messing about. I need you to read and sign this document."

"What is it?" my voice was muffled under the sheets. He didn't reply, I could tell he was looking down at me with great patience. I sat up resentfully and frowned glaring at the paper envelope stretched out towards me. I hesitated thinking how the last piece of paper I'd read had caused such pain and despair. "Is it a warrant for my death?" I asked only half joking.

The elderly man walked away towards the window opening the curtains a little more. I looked down at the letter and recognised the large and efficient scrawl of Lady Tsunade. My heart began to pound painfully in my chest with dread. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me I thought suddenly. I grinned it was a chant I'd taught Naoki when he was six. Whatever the blond thunderbolt wanted she wasn't actually here to yell and scream at me about it. I could cope with that – maybe.

After several attempts at trying to digest the meaning of the message I was still confused. There was no mention of my mother or the events of last night. My contract as Ambassador was to be extended for another year. The only thing left for me to do was to print my signature on the dotted line and agree once more to complete confidentiality of sensitive data for both Konoha and Suna. There was also a very generous donation of yen towards the festival of change and sentiments of good luck with the project. Had the Hokage drank too much sake when she wrote this?

"But, she hates me this makes absolutely no sense!"

"The Kazekage spoke with Lady Tsunade late last night," Master Homura spoke pointedly. "Apparently your professional role has been quite exemplary." I was speechless more so for the fact that Gaara had gone to face the Hokage, was he completely mad? Then I realised what had been said and my cheeks exploded in a bright scarlet. "The Kage asked personally for you to remain in Sunagakure so you would be able to complete the preparations for the festival."

"Oh, right," I wheezed. Memories of sitting together on the hill resurfaced despite all my best efforts to squash them away.

"What's the matter with you? You've just had a glowing report!" He smiled proudly trying to stoke up a sense of triumph in me.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't expect him to do that" I was still unsure whether I was talking about the unexpected visit to the Hokage or his warm hand holding onto mine. "It's more than a first time Ambassador could hope for. Having a personal recommendation is a great honour, Master Homura. Of course I'll sign, straight away." I took the ink quill and scribbled my name onto the paper before I had the chance to change my mind. As though reading my thoughts the old man snatched it away with a large grin and tucked it securely into his deep pockets.

* * *

Later in the day I found myself sitting next to Temari staring into a large bowl of Ichiraku ramen. I was surprised. I didn't even think my friend liked noodles or soup for that matter. The high chairs were slightly uncomfortable and I had to allow my legs to dangle because I was too small to place my feet onto the floor. I shifted from time to time trying to stop slipping down and watched my taller friend smirking uncontrollably every time I did so.

I held off from asking about Gaara for as long as possible. We talked about the village and I shared some more random historical knowledge that I'd picked up from Mother about the academy. Temari told me she'd taught there for a little while after rescuing Naruto and the other members of the squad who went after Sasuke. She complimented the teachers and the building saying it was one of the most impressive training facilities she'd ever seen.

"I've signed up for another year of punishment," I confided quietly, stirring the brown liquid with my chopstick.

"I know," Temari said in a monotone as she slurped more noodles. "I'll admit I was surprised. After what's happened this past year I think you must either be crazy or-" She stopped quite deliberately and chewed on another piece of tender pork.

"Or what?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Or with a mother like yours hell, even I would jump at the chance to stay a year in another country!"

"Hilarious Temari, so glad my family breakdown gives you such amusement!" I grumbled and placed my chopsticks side by side onto the plate. She was looking at me half wondering if she'd gone too far. "You're right of course," I smiled backed devilishly to which she punched me playfully on the arm.

"Gaara had to go back to the Land of Wind. Since he's Kazekage now, he can't be out the country for too long otherwise the council start whining." I nodded feeling both relief and intense disappointment colliding together inside my stomach. Temari's eyes scanned me and then she looked up staring at something else in the distance. "You've got some loose ends to sort out. When you're ready to go I'll be in the guest quarters with Kankuro. Take as long as you need, Yaz." She smiled reassuringly and patted me on the head. As I turned around to look in the same direction I spotted Naruto and a small familiar figure walking towards the noodle stand.

Naoki was looking back at me with a shy and embarrassed little smile. He waved a hand pathetically as I raised my left eyebrow.

"Have you come to yell at me, again?" I asked when they finally reached me. Naruto stood next to me on the other side and winked at Temari confirming the little conspiracy going on between them.

"I'm sorry," he began. My brother was clutching something in his arms I noticed. A pile of brightly coloured paper envelopes, each sealed with a familiar crest seal in green wax and labelled with a particular address in the Land of Fire. "I didn't know what was going on truly. I never thought Mother would do such a terrible thing. It was really dumb because she kept them locked away, and whenever the subject came up she just brushed it aside. I started listening to all the nasty things she was saying. I should have known better... "

I rubbed my temples trying not to respond to his pathetic little face. "Sit down and have some ramen," I sighed and passed him a set of chopsticks.

I gazed at him, my eyes softening as he poured out his story from the past year. Just as I thought he hadn't coped very well with my absence to begin with and withdrew further into his shell. When Naruto came on the scene however things changed.

"I told him to go away at first. I was really nasty to him and I said I didn't care that you'd told him to come. He smacked me on the head for that," he recalled and Naruto burst into uneasy laughter. "But he came back day after day and dragged me into the forest to do some training. I hated it and kept fighting against him saying I didn't want to be some stupid ninja. Then I dunno. I just stopped getting so angry about being there."

"Well, I'm very glad he didn't give up on you." I smiled warmly at the older boy leaning against the counter. He waved his hand randomly in the air brushing it all aside. "I was hoping his hyper active energy and enthusiasm for life might rub off on you."

"Ah shucks, it was nothing really!" Naruto laughed heartily and slapped me across the back. He had a strong palm I noticed and I winced whilst continuing to listen intently.

"We went swimming in the river, made a tent and went camping under the stars I was really happy. It was like even though my big sister was gone I had this 'big brother' guy to take over." Naoki grinned at me his face alight with mischief for the first time in many, many years. "You knew, didn't you?" He asked suddenly and the conversation turned very serious.

"Knew what?" I replied, stretching my arms above my head.

"That I wasn't quite right. Was that why you left me, so I could get better?"

It seemed a very odd question for such a little boy to ask. I felt very exposed suddenly sitting on a public street talking about very private things. Nervously I glanced at the other teenagers and couldn't find the right words. It was very hard to say such heartfelt things in front of an audience.

"Walk with me?" I asked the little boy. He nodded and we both climbed down. As we waved goodbye to the others and set about walking I tried to put my feelings into easy to understand chunks. When that didn't work I thought perhaps just mumbling my thoughts out loud would be the best way to start.

"Yes, there was something very wrong with you, and I wasn't helping" I admitted finally. "I wasn't the right person to guide you. I wasn't the right person because there was something wrong with me as well." Naoki ran to keep up with my rapid footsteps pounding along the street. We reached the local park with swings and slides and found an empty bench with a clear view of Hokage rock.

"I don't get what you mean. There's nothing wrong with you, sis." He scratched his head. It was understandable that a small child could never think ill of those of love them. In my case perhaps loved too much.

There was a lump developing in my throat and I sighed. "I protected you from the world, Naoki. In my own way I stopped you from living a life that was rightfully yours. I always thought that if there was a problem in the family it was my fault and I had to fix it." There was a tingling down my spine as the thought hit me.

"You okay, big sister?" He peered cautiously at my face. There was a long pause as I considered the question and allowed it to roll about in my mind. I remembered constantly asking Naoki the same thing over and over in an obsessive attempt at protecting him. Thinking back I always thought that I was the strong one but I was just as needy and afraid as Naoki. "What did you and Mom argue about last night?"

It was a very long and hard two hours that followed. I couldn't anticipate how a nine year old would react to the news that sister was in fact a half – sister and Mother was capable of keeping awful and dark secrets. I wasn't sure how **I** was reacting to the news it was like losing father all over again. Old wounds that I thought were healed had torn open again. Just as we had at the funeral we sat together in silence trying to make sense of chaos. The only thing that made it easier was that I was the one telling the truth - making good from the lies. Even if the truth was hard to take it was better than stumbling around in the dark.

He was very quiet but allowed his head to rest on my shoulder. "I don't think it really matters who your father was." He said slowly. "I mean, we both still don't have one, right? You're still my sister and I don't care what anyone says." He hugged me tightly it felt nice, like there was peace again in the world.

We spent the rest of the afternoon reading through the letters we had sent each other. As I read account after account I could hear the subtle changes in my own voice. I recalled so many different things it was hard to believe that it had only been just over a year. The two of us laughed long and hard at some of my stories until it was hard to breathe.

Naoki insisted that I read some of his letters but I was reluctant. I passed them over and encouraged him to read them alone for a few moments instead. I watched his bright eyes fade as he looked back over his composed replies. A brief scan through the letters showed that they became increasingly unfriendly and laced with threats. He blinked back at me with great embarrassment. I knew that he finally understood what I'd been talking about.

"Even when I didn't reply, your letters to me just sound worried. Mine are really horrible, I sound like am gonna kill you or something." He said cringing.

I gave him a weak smile, "At the time you were very angry because I'd left you alone. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that I never did receive them. Now here, this is a present that I've been waiting to give to a very special birthday boy." I handed the brown paper package to him and watched as it was torn apart. The smooth and shiny statue of the wolf dog was held carefully as Naoki admired it from all angles. "The wolf dog is used as a protection charm in Suna. I thought it might be worth giving it a try to protect little brother far away. Then again I think it's been protecting me all this time because I never got round to sending it."

My adventures continued and as I explained about the Kage's funeral and how I'd made friends with Temari. I told him about the other boys and girls in the village and how they looked after the peace garden near my home.

Naoki was fascinated, but I made sure that he told me just as much about what had happened to him. When he said he was beginning to play with his old friends again I was delighted. When he told me he was going with them to apply to the ninja academy I was overwhelmed with joy.

"I'm not looking forward to telling Mother. She doesn't take change very well."

"You have to weigh up how important this is to you. No matter what anyone says if you believe in what you want it will happen. If you don't allow yourself to take risks then you could miss out."

"Did he teach you that?" Naoki asked. "You know the red haired Kage, is he like a close friend of yours? He came to find me at Naruto's house and said that you always talked about me and that I was precious to you. I didn't want to listen, but when he showed me the letters it finally convinced me to find you and apologise. He's very quiet doesn't exactly say much."

So that was what happened. I must have been so exhausted and collapsed into bed without a second thought. In the meantime Gaara had been fixing all my problems before he had to head back. Why would he do that? I wondered. He was like the worst kind of puzzle; frustrating and small, so you couldn't really see it clearly. I smiled - there was a lot about his behaviour recently that didn't add up. He could be so destructive and mean. That side of him I hated; the arrogant and cold side that he used to detach himself from humanity. When he acted like that I wanted to claw his eyes out and wished sand coffin would malfunction around his neck.

Was Gaara a close friend? I had absolutely no idea. Ambassadors should never have thoughts of that kind about a Kazekage anyway, I thought crossly. Naoki was still waiting for an answer. If the Kage had never intervened I wouldn't even be having this conversation with my brother. I felt annoyed at this random act of kindness because it reminded me that he had another side. A side that I was steadily growing more and more attached to. To deny its existence in the male ninja was like ignoring diamonds buried deep underground because it was difficult to get them out.

Finally I turned back to Naoki and said fondly, "His name is Gaara and you're right, he never does say very much. Sometimes he doesn't need to." I glanced down at my hand, "but when he does it means a lot."


	31. Mr Sand Man brings a dream

**Chapter thirty one – Mr Sand Man brings a dream. **

**Lady Leaf**

"So, they call you Lady Leaf back at the village now?" Naruto pretended to bow gracefully. I nodded as we strolled together alongside the main coach and other carriages. I listened to the wheels squeaking and turning as they passed under the gravel path. The horses' hooves clipped and clopped in rhythm - it was a friendly sound. We were quite the travelling party; an entourage of supplies, decorations and a variety of other goodies, all heading straight back to Suna. I was still amazed at Lady Tsunade's generous gift, but simply put it down to Gaara's ability to tame the wild beast. At this I frowned realising the irony of such a comparison.

"I can't wait to get back. There's still so much to do and organise it makes my head spin." I heard a distinctive huff from behind the curtain in the main carriage. I forgot that Temari was there supposedly acting as my decoy. In reality I wanted to walk and take in the view before reaching the desert wastelands again. Never one to miss an opportunity the female shinobi had seized my position of comfort in the VIP transport and was thoroughly making the most of it. "Does the Hokage mind you escorting me back to the village? I'd hate to think she was a man down."

An impish grin spread from one ear to the other. "Oh, Grandma Tsunade won't mind," Naruto said completely laid back. "In fact she doesn't even know am gone!" I coughed in shock. "She keeps giving me stupid D rank missions like am still a kid. It's good to go off and keep up my training, and besides at least protecting a diplomat promises some action." The boy's eyes flashed, overflowing with excitement and energy. "Yeah, just coming along for the ride doing what a ninja does best."

"What's that? Mouthing off like you're something special?" Kankuro mocked from behind us.

"Hey, you better believe it!" Naruto yelled back. "Because one day I'm gonna be Hokage, and Gaara and I will be running the whole show!" He turned back in a proud sulk when both Temari and Kankuro erupted into laughter. I quietly admired his spirit and ambition.

We set up camp near the edge of the forest just before nightfall. I made a brief sweep of the area with Temari, keeping a look out for trouble that might try to find us. There was no reason to suspect that anyone important would be tracking the carriages but valuable cargo was a temptation for petty thieves. I smiled slyly at the thought of some poor soul attempting an attack, they wouldn't last five seconds.

"Try to get some sleep," the Kunoichi said seriously. I did as instructed ducking my head into the tent. I spent a few moments snuggling down into my sleeping bag trying to get comfortable. I wasn't sure why I rejected sleeping in the coach with its silk sheets and pillows. The thought of revelling in such luxury while my friends slept in cramped, leaking tents felt wrong. I closed my eyes and felt the reassuring cold floor under my side.

The world of dreams is a strange place, so many emotions being played out and the mishmash of images. Grandma Rooba had told me that dreams often held secret messages or warning about our lives. I didn't really believe in any of that. For me, dreams held an uneasy truce; at times they made me feel free and I resented leaving them in the morning. Other times they were so disturbing that I woke up exhausted, as though I hadn't slept at all.

In the past it wasn't unusual for me to traipse around the hospital in quite a bad temper due to lack of sleep. I envied friends who could wake up and happily admit that they had a great dream last night, but couldn't remember a single thing! Meanwhile dreams I desperately wanted to forget kept creeping back to haunt me. I had the annoying habit of retaining symbols, emotions and stories many hours after I'd woken up. It made my brain ache as though it was too full to take on any more information. I'd wander around in a daze for a while and then snap out of it.

I closed my eyes and listened to the chirping of crickets outside. Depending upon my mood the insistent songs of the insects in the warm night could either relax or irritate the hell out of me. My body decided it was too tired to be bothered and so sleep came easily.

I was in an office or what seemed like one anyway. The walls ebbed and flowed shifting in and out of focus. There was a book case over loaded with animal figures made from coloured glass. The back of the case had been removed allowing sunlight to strike though the glass. It cast a rainbow of odd shapes on the floor. Parts of the room were carved into individual sections using jagged white and black lines. The effect was making me dizzy, as I took several steps my perception adjusted to colour, monochrome and then back to colour. The wooden floor boards underneath moved of their own accord shifting me forwards. I was being drawn to a desk in the centre of the room whether I wanted to go there or not.

As I reached the desk and moved my fingers to touch it there was nothing there. The desk had moved to the other end of the room. I continued to try and reach my target only for it to repeat the same pattern always slipping away from my grasp at the last minute. Frustrated I turned away and in one sweeping movement I was sitting on a wire framed chair. The chair was placed in front of the desk that had tried so hard to escape my attention before. At the other end of the large oak table someone was there, hands clasped together. I knew who it might be and I immediately struggled against the images that my unconscious mind was carving into the dream.

"So, you came back?" The slow and raspy voice asked with a thin trail of his white breath rolling in the air. I realised it was suddenly freezing in the room despite the warmth from the sun streaming through the windows. My body struggled to comprehend why it was shivering and goose pimples plumped up on my arms. I looked up at the Kazekage and my heart skipped a beat. He was older now with his red spiky hair growing longer. The eyes were the same, a cool sea green that were illuminated in an unnatural glow. He regarded me with intense curiosity while I fought an electric sensation that made my skin feel as though it were on fire.

A familiar silence passed between us and I tried to stare at one of the scrolls on the walls. When he turned to gaze at the same scroll an amused smirk appeared. The desk seemed to shrink until we were only centimetres apart.

"That's a Bijuu, a type of Fuuinjutsu that attaches a tailed beast to the host's body." He stood up and stroked the parchment gently. "Hard to believe that signs and a few words can give a person such power, isn't it? I wanted to remind myself that I'm not a god. Some actions are beyond even my control. It could all be taken away in an instant through death."

I watched the scene unfold with a peculiar fear. There was light tapping at the farthest window which was frosted glass and Gaara gave me a serious look. He clapped his hands calling the sand around him. "Get behind me, Yasu."

"Why, what is it?" I called out in alarm. The tapping became much louder, it combined with groans and shouts from beyond the glass. There was a blurry shadow pushing against the milky white surface. Two black hands smacked against the glass with frightening strength. Its voice was painful to hear as the wheezing and gasping grew more and more desperate. I could see small cracks appearing and stared hopelessly as the fragile thin lines grew and climbed up the length of the window.

When the shards crashed down onto the frame I covered my head, and backed up against the wall. Gaara was in front of me and the wall of sand withdrew revealing a shrivelled and rotting human corpse. Without being told I already knew it was climbing into the room. Horrified I blinked back tears that saw the white, charred flesh and black empty eyes. There was a scream of intense and undeniable agony from the creature. As its twisted and decaying body swayed to and fro, the shaking detached fingers reached out in desperation.

"Gaara, that's..."

"Don't move!" He insisted firmly.

Then he was gone and evaporated before my very eyes. I glanced up and saw the slits narrow with recognition. There was no one to save me now. I willed the chakra in my arms to respond to the frantic hand signs that I made for**Jukai Koutan****. **When all else failed me, I turned to run and the monster lunged at my hair pulling it back. I screamed, my body bending over backwards looking up at the yellow, putrid teeth. There were maggots writhing from the nostrils and mouth. As I struggled with fierce repulsion at my captor it spoke to me. "I told you before, I enjoy challenging prey." The voice was hissing with ecstatic laughter. I stopped fighting and froze as two yellow, starry eyes gleamed within the dark holes with satisfaction, "You're mine." It said before the room was plummeted into darkness.

Whatever was shaking me it was beginning to really hurt, I didn't realise that I was still screaming until my head was shoved forcefully somewhere cold and very wet. Liquid filled my mouth and stupidly I tried to swallow forcing a large amount down my stinging windpipe.

"WAKE UP, AMBASSADOR!" I finally heard the distressed call and began coughing uncontrollably.

"What the hell are you trying to do, drown her?!" A female voice yelled as my body was dragged onto the bank.

"Well, I stopped her screaming, didn't I?" The other replied clearly agitated. "Geez, one minute you're telling me to do something and when I do – you complain!"

"Stop...arguing...guys," I choked through globs of water. Naruto and Temari immediately stopped bickering. It was hard to breathe, like when you drink lemonade and it goes down the wrong way. Everything seems fine but when you try to breathe normally you start coughing. It might start with little coughs but then you realise that your throat still isn't clear, so you cough some more and the next your face is turning red.

Back at camp I was shivering violently next to the fire. I tried to pull the rugged blanket more tightly around me and sip the hot water that was threatening to spill everywhere. Parts of the dream kept replaying in the darkness of the bushes and the trees. I focused on the bright orange flames of the fire tinged at the edges with a heated red. As the wood burned steadily I could smell the smoked, musky odour sinking into my lank hair. A light breeze blew some of the grey smoke into my eyes making them sting and water.

"You wanna talk about it?" my babysitter asked with the flames dancing in shadows across his painted face. I turned to Kankuro surprised at the interest - usually he never wanted anything to do with me. Temari was speaking with the caravan owners trying to reassure them that the screaming and commotion had all been a false alarm. Naruto was repeating a sweep of the area as another precaution. Apparently he was glad of the space between himself and a certain other blond ninja.

"They're just stupid dreams." I said with embarrassment. It was hard to understand why this nagging ache just wouldn't melt away and leave me alone. "It doesn't mean anything."

"Well, actually it depends on the symbolism used in the dream. You know, through the ages a whole language of dreams has been developed to help translate and understand them. Some signs bring good fortune, for example to see trees in full leaf, is a very happy omen. Your affairs will prosper; nature is seen as favourable, well, apart from sand of course. Sand means many small vexations which is true to life I guess. " I eyed him suspiciously aware that the black hooded youth would love nothing better than to torment me.

"I didn't know you had an interest in dreams. Isn't the subject a bit sappy for you?"

"Hey, just try working with me _for once_!" He said attempting a smile. There was a part of me that had always wondered what it might be like to share a sensible and normal conversation with Gaara's older brother. I certainly didn't expect to be talking about dreams. I remembered the first time we set out from Konohagakure and the provocative words that Kankuro had with me. What was it he said at the time?

"_My face is none of your business. Talk about it again and I'll snap you in half, you got that?"_

I remembered the tone and the face that went with it, my eyes instantly narrowed. I considered that this offer was just another way the sarcastic rat was trying to make amends. I had a feeling that Gaara was involved in his brother's sudden change of heart towards the 'Ambassador.' The whole situation made me weary. Dreams were very personal; they could tell you a lot about a person especially if you knew how to read them. I hated the idea of Kankuro finding out some buried secret in my sub conscious since I really didn't know anything about him.

He rolled his eyes and than sat a little closer. He pulled the mysterious object that he carried from his shoulders. "Ever wondered what this is?" He asked, uncoiling the white bandages slowly. I shrugged as if I didn't care and he responded with a tiger like grin. Underneath was what looked like some kind of grotesque puppet with three unfeeling eyes and shaggy brown hair. He began taking the lifeless doll's arms apart; one, two, three and then the fourth.

"I'm a trained puppeteer in the Suna puppet Squad. I connect one of my fingers to a part of a puppet's body such as Karasu here, with a chakra string." Out the corner of my eye I watched him trying to hold back a barrage of questions. "This allows them to remotely operate it in battle with the proper finger movements. For example if I move this finger... " I jumped as a huge needle jutted out the puppet's head. "And if I do this..." A cloud of thick black smoke erupted around us.

"Show off!" I coughed loudly as we waved away the remains of the smoke.

"So much for the master puppeteer," He grumbled wishing he hadn't bothered with the demonstration. I laughed a little before giving him a sympathetic pat on the back. He immediately flinched as though I was attacking him. Surprised I stopped and gave him a strange look. So it seemed both brothers had a major issue with physical touch. They expected nothing but pain even from allies, it made feel sad.

The hot water was finally making its way through my system warming my insides. "If you tell me about the face paint, I'll tell you about the dream." I said relenting an inch.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Okay...I guess that makes sense, to you."

"Sorry, you were saying something about the paint?"

Kankuro stroked his chin, "Alright, I get it. Yeah, in the old days there was a type of theatre called Kabuki. I used to go and watch the shows as a kid. The actors wore this crazy makeup that made them look like monsters or warriors. I remember getting hold of some paint and scaring the hell out of Temari." He smirked. "Tried the same thing with Gaara, went down like a lead balloon." His smirked turned into a grimace and I bit my lip to curb the laughter. "Anyway, in Kabuki the actors wear makeup for more than just looking creepy. All the patterns have a significant meaning and the colours as well. I use purple because it sums me up pretty well." He looked at me expectantly.

I panicked, "Erm, arrogant and grumpy?" it was the first thing that came to mind. His eyes widen in infuriation.

"No! Sublime, noble and superior, can't you tell?" I'll have to admit that made even me speechless. He picked up a cloth and began to spread a good layer of oil onto the joints of Karasu. "By the way," he said with a sigh, "Your turn."

Despite my reservations I retold the dream in glorious detail trying not to stare as he worked. I remembered to include most things; the corpse, being surrounded in darkness, the shattering glass and how Gaara had suddenly disappeared.

When I was finished he mulled the dream over a while. "So, let me get this straight. You were _alone_ with the walking dead? Well, that's okay. It's good to dream that you're left alone. It means that the idiots you call friends in real life will never forsake you. To experience great distress like you described is a sure omen that somebody will make you indebted to him or her all your life. If you were disgusted by something horrible in the dream, like this 'corpse' you described, I reckon you can expect to meet someone pretty influential."

"What about the window smashing, doesn't that mean anything?"

"To dream of glass breaking foretells a sudden end to a habit that you've been doing for a long time. Did you finally stop picking your nose or something?"

"Oh, grow up and stop talking about yourself! I'm serious, Kankuro. I can't shake off this feeling about the dream. I can't explain it, there has to be something else."

"Man, you're more tightly wound up than that Naruto kid! Well, that just leaves the darkness. It's not exactly a favourable omen." He warned. "To dream of groping about a strange place in darkness denotes great trouble in a faraway land."

"A faraway land?" I gulped and the tight knot in my stomach became worse.

"Whoa, face is turning a bit pale there, what's up?" Kankuro waved a large hand in front of me. "Don't go fainting on me again seriously, Temari would kick my ass."

"We have to go back there now!" I demanded, scared of the sudden urgency I heard in my voice.

"Go back, go back where?" He replied with confusion. I knew it didn't make sense; one minute ago I'd been laughing completely calm without a care in the world.

"Suna, we have to go back to Suna. There's something really bad happening in Sunagakure!"


	32. Upon Reflection

**Chapter Thirty Two**

**Upon Reflection**

I was already packing up the tent when Temari returned.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked with a rather exasperated expression on her face. Watching how those hands were firmly planted on both hips I could tell that my reasoning was simply not going to wash. She wasn't impressed with the weak smile that I gave her, nor the way I retrieved my backpack from the main carriage.

"We have to get back to Sunagakure as quickly as possible. Please, don't look at me like that, Temari. There's something happening in the Land of Wind, something awful..."

"So, let me see the scroll that informs you of this _emergency_," she thrust out her hand. I knew that disappointing the ninja wasn't going to improve the situation or stop the scary frown that currently greeted me.

In a nervous rush I tried to explain as convincingly as possible about the dream that I'd had. Admittedly Kankuro did his best to back up the rocky evidence that I presented, but our combined forces were not enough to satisfy Temari. By the time Naruto returned the sand siblings were engaged in a fierce argument, this left the bewildered boy looking to me for an explanation.

Angrily the eldest child glared at Kankuro, "What cock and bull story are you trying to plant in her mind now? You've done enough damage recently with your stupid jokes!"

"Who the hell said this was a joke?" He replied fed up with the unjustified accusations that plagued him at the moment. "You always get freaked out by stuff like this, you can't stand superstitions. Remember when you split one of the cloth straps of your geta? Dad said it would bring bad luck and you kept arguing there was no such thing as luck, only to sprain your ankle in training!"

"That was nothing but an annoying coincidence. There's no such thing as luck and as for dreams, they're pure fantasy for people with too much time on their hands!" Always the voice of logic and reason she took a deep breath before turning to me, "You're both making a fuss over nothing. There is nothing _bad_ happening at home."

"Hey," Naruto suddenly stood between us. He crossed his arms as though angry with the older girl. "You shouldn't dismiss dreams as if they're nothing. You can't prove there isn't a problem just as Yasu can't prove there is!"

"Keep out of this, you pesky runt!" Temari growled back. She looked at me again only this time begging for my assistance in silencing the loud teen. I didn't oblige only shrugging my shoulders showing my agreement with his trail of thought.

Naruto grinned and continued to make his point, "What if the Ambassador's right and there's something wrong? Just standing here won't do any good we should go and check it out!"

The pester power of Naruto was quite amazing. Whenever he believed strongly in something it was as if he threw his whole being into it; his voice rose and his body seemed to charge with a passionate energy.

Temari tried her best to ignore the hyperactive bundle of testosterone jumping up and down in front of her face. I watched with amusement as her resolve steadily disintegrated and finally after what seemed like an eternity she snapped.

"Fine, if you want to make a complete fool of yourself, be my guest! Go ahead pipsqueak and _check it out_ and remember to take dreamer boy here with you." She sneered at Kankuro. "In the meantime I'm sticking around because someone has to follow mission protocol."

We watched them go, leaping through the trees and accelerating at rapid speed. I felt relieved; if there was a problem then at least two ninja reinforcements were on the way to assist. I wasn't sure what Gaara would make of Kankuro and Naruto crashing on his doorstep if all was well, but then again better to be safe than sorry. I smiled gratefully at my friend who strangely enough didn't seem at all bothered that Naruto had got his own way.

"So, you are worried about Suna, then?" I asked quietly afterwards.

"A little," she admitted. "There's nothing worse than your brother having the upper hand and saying I told you so. Don't get me wrong, Yaz – I still think what you said is endearing tripe. But at least this way if they do get into trouble, there'll be two people left who can save their butts."

I eyed her skeptically and then just smiled at the floor. Temari was a master at manipulating other people and maneuvering them into position, but I wasn't convinced that she'd been quite prepared for Naruto's outlandish tactics!

We spent the next two days travelling exactly as planned with the fate of the Sand Village constantly at the forefront of our minds. I kept my ears and eyes open for any sign of a message from our comrades but there was nothing. As time drew on my dream seemed to fade in intensity as though it didn't appear to have the same urgency that it once did. I regretted being so hasty and dragging Kankuro and Naruto into the whole business.

I was beginning to understand why Temari always took her time when making decisions, and not rush into something just because emotions were involved. The fear that had provoked such outbursts from me had lost its power and instead was being replaced with a foolish sense of idiocy. No doubt the two male ninja were sitting in the Kazekage's office laughing and joking at my expense. I hung my head wondering if I'd ever be taken seriously again.

The forest scene was far behind us now and replaced with desert. I recalled several passages I had read from a book Shiro had kindly lent to me about the environment of the Land of Wind. My heart ached a little at the thought of my house keeper who had actually turned out to be an undercover spy. I tried to remember the positive things that she had done for me rather than the lies, but it was difficult. Upon returning to Suna there would be little point in trying to avoid her especially if Gaara insisted that I remain under her care. What would I say to her? I wondered how I could begin a fresh friendship with a person who I thought I knew like the back of my hand. How could it be possible to forget one image that had been built up in your mind and replace it with another?

I looked about me and thought about the words that had swam in front of my eyes after reading for too long. This desert was approximately 7,000,000 square kilometres long although it was known to shrink or expand according to scientists who had bothered to take records. The country at first glance could be mistaken as plain. On closer inspection the varied landscapes consisted of bulging rock projections, stone plateaus, large gravel plains, dry valleys and even sand flats. Although such areas were seemingly barren they actually contained different varieties of wildlife and plants unique to that particular region. Some researchers out in the field had identified species of wild cat, sand vipers and deadly scorpions. I had been astounded to learn that both felines and reptiles could survive out here and not only that, they had been doing so quite happily for thousands of years. I wiped some sweat away from my forehead reminded suddenly how intense the heat truly was here.

"Woo, it's pretty warm! I guess it could be as hot as 35 degrees or more, what do you think?" I asked Temari who looked none the worse for the long stretch in the sun's strong rays.

She turned around and began once more to educate me as she often felt the need to do. "A desert is measured not by how hot it is but how dry. There are times when we might not have rain for twelve consecutive months. It's also not unusual for temperatures to be as high as 45 or 50 degrees centigrade in the middle of the day."

I felt like wilting under her amused gaze and she laughed. My friend gave me a further lesson on the different types of sand formation that could be found in the desert. Some of the tallest sand dunes could reach an impressive 189 metres in height. To me one mound looked pretty much the same as another but Temari talked with me awhile about the subtle differences. Apparently crescent shaped dunes otherwise known as barchans were produced by winds blowing across a level surface of sand. Temari preferred to use these dunes where possible when leading large vehicles across the wastelands, as it was easier to see what was in front of them. Seif dunes were usually parallel to a strong wind that blew in one constant direction. Those dunes at a right angle to the wind direction were transverse, and star dunes were as they suggested, 'star-shaped' and had several ridges that spread out around a point.

Some people might have said Temari's attention to detail about her homeland was beyond obsessive. Had I not lived among the Sunans myself I might have agreed with them whole heartedly. However from a ninja point of view knowledge of the neighboring terrain was a simple matter of survival. With a precious cargo such as food supplies, herbs and spices being lead across the sands they made easy targets. Knowing which route to take to avoid unnecessary dangers was important. Knowing where the nearest oasis was or the nearest shelter in a sandstorm was vital. Citizens from Konoha were less than friendly towards their allies believing them to be guarded and hostile. I wondered if that would change if they'd walk in their shoes for a while and get some sand in them!

"Hey," the kunoichi stopped the transports suddenly and went on ahead. Patiently I waited with the rest of the company until she returned. "We'll continue another fifty metres," she told them before taking me aside.

"Is something the matter?"

"I told Kankuro to greet the caravans at a particular spot, he's not there." She grumbled.

"He could just be late..." I tried to reassure her gently.

Firmly my friend shook her head, "He's never late. He knows better than to be a sloppy time keeper especially if I give him an order. There's an old mining cave just before we reach the village. I want you to wait there with the caravans until I get back and give the all clear."

I began to protest, "I care about Sunagakure too. You can't just expect me to wait around here not knowing what's going on!"

"With any luck there won't be anything going on!" she hissed back. "My job is to keep the Ambassador and the cargo safe. All I'm asking you to do is keep an eye on things here for a few hours."

There had been no point trying to continue the conversation I tried to reason with myself, Temari was as stubborn as an ox. One of the drivers offered me some crisp monitor lizard that they had prepared on the small cooking stove. I declined politely, showing a brief smile that somehow didn't quite mask how worried I felt inside. What had happened to Naruto and Kankuro? Had she managed to find them yet? I hated feeling so useless especially when I knew there was so much more I could do. I clasped my hands together and tried to mediate pushing the irksome worries and guilt away. If something undesirable was happening in Suna, I shouldn't believe that I was personally responsible for it. It wasn't as if I was some sort of bad omen that brought woe and trouble to everyone I met. I shook my head forcefully, I thought as I beyond thinking like that by now.

The underground passage where the company and I found ourselves was as hollow as I felt. The walls were unusually smooth and a bright, almost chalky white. A small section crumbled away in my hand.

"They used to mine for the white sand that could be found here," a voice said. It was the same man who offered the lizard to me before. "That sand could produce the most exquisite glass if you got it hot enough. We used to take regular exports to countries all over the world, that and the opals of course."

"You said that you used to, sorry, I don't even know your name!" I ventured feeling there was more to the tale. He nodded with a wry smile that suggested it certainly wasn't his choice to cease trade.

"Name's Torao. The Kazekage was a pretty shrewd fella, he wanted to pool resources elsewhere and so the miners packed up their tools and left. I mean, there are literally hundreds of these caves dotted around the place ready to be tapped and they were just abandoned!"

"So, if the mines were set up again and the sand was available on the market..."

"You'd have orders out your ears," Torao said without a shadow of a doubt.

It all sounded painfully familiar; Suna had lost precious economic opportunities because the Kazekage had been blinded by a desire to become a strong military power. I reflected quietly on how much damage the Daimyo and the Kazekage had caused between them. They had left Gaara to pick up the pieces of a broken nation and somehow fudge it back together. The most unlikely candidate of all was to become Suna's salvation in these dark and troublesome times.

Looking at things that way, I supposed being an Ambassador wasn't so bad.


	33. Eye of the Tiger

**Chapter Thirty Three **

**Eye of the Tiger**

When the sun rose early that morning and there was still no sign of Temari, I felt physically sick. Three of them were missing now, all very capable ninja who could handle themselves in a fight. I tried to think of all the positive reasons why no-one had returned with news and could count them on one hand. When compared with all the negative reasons which took up a grand total of at least seven hands I sighed.

"Do you have a carrier pigeon?" I asked Torao urgently trying to weigh up the options of what to do next. My message to the Hokage would have to be rather short which I knew she wouldn't like. When that was done I checked over the food rations and water, enough for a few more days.

"We expected to be restocking in Suna," the other drivers moaned. "The horses will need feeding and re-shoeing of course, won't get too far if the sand is burning their feet."

"We can't turn back to Konoha without a guide either," I added feeling that the decision was being made for me. "Take the straw from the festival supplies to feed the horses that'll keep them going for a while. In the meantime I'm going to investigate what's happened to the others. If the worst happens Lady Tsunade's should have sent help to find you in a few days, so just hold tight till then."

The men looked to one another as if I'd gone mad. I ignored them and quickly changed into my regular khaki trousers and a white vest top which I wore for training. Carefully I slid a number of kunai and shrunken into my pockets and walked towards the tunnel entrance. The men shook their heads with dismay but nobody tried to stop me, they understood the situation could soon become critical.

"Ambassador, you can't go out there without a bodyguard! What if you're captured and held to ransom?" Torao asked, horrified.

I looked back at the men they were hardly what you could call warriors. They were more interested in drinking and larking about over a game of cards than fighting. To bring them along for the ride would leave the cargo vulnerable and probably serve only to lead them to suicide. In all honesty I wondered to myself, what exactly gave me the impression that I could handle things better than them? I didn't have an answer – just a feeling.

Slowly the rock face that housed the narrow passage leading into the hidden village came into view. I allowed my eyes to squint from left to right trying to spot any suspicious movement. There were no trails along the sand or footprints that might suggest recent enemy activity. I wondered if Temari had left a signal or a message for me somewhere but I couldn't spot anything out the ordinary. I tried to think back to her wise words about reconnaissance theory and the importance of stealth. It was hard work trying to keep alert and remember when the sun was steadily rising higher into the sky.

My movements were slow as I nervously crept from one sand dune to the next. There genuinely seemed to be no one about, not even the usual decoy could be seen. He or she was a token gesture stationed by the village to catch out enemies unfamiliar with the village's defences. I kept preparing myself for an ambush or pre-emptive strike; there seemed to be no need however, I reached the rock wall without incident. So far 'going with the flow' had been beneficial although I still wasn't sure _where to go_ exactly. To take a direct route through the passageway seemed like an open invitation to get caught but alternatives (as far as I was aware) were very few.

My wobbly legs carried me around the eastern side of the passageway where I lay low for a moment trying to think. There was still no sign of any intruders, even when I held my hand up against the bright light coming out the other side there was still nothing.

"Where could everybody be?" I groaned aloud.

I decided to start my search away from the main civilian districts and nearer towards home. The thought of thieves getting their hands on some of the more sensitive documents I kept inside the safe made my stomach turn. My house was still standing though where it had always been, roughly patched up and sinking to one side. I checked the building and relaxed as it had not been disturbed at all. It made me laugh - obviously the ram shackled hut had been overlooked as a place of any importance.

As I ran cautiously back to the market square it was completely deserted. Seeing Grandma Rooba's stall so empty, without her loud calls echoing through the air and her reassuring toothy smile was haunting. The houses had their shutters pulled down tight as though preparing for a sandstorm. There were broken pots and spoiled food rotting on the ground. I caught a sniff of a smoky odour coming from around the next bend. Upon arrival I realised it was the shop or at least the remains of the shop Hiro's Grandfather owned. The building was a charred and black mess, hundreds of quills, inks and parchments burnt to ashes and dust. None of the other structures had been affected which confused me. Surely if the store had caught fire then everything in the nearby area would be smouldering and burning too? I thought of the shy boy with his little brown curls and my fist tightened in anger. Whoever did this was going to pay.

My search continued until I spotted a dust cloud rising into the air. It seemed to be coming from the Suna training grounds and I turned quickly on my heels towards the source. The row of trees from my disastrous chakra lesson with Gaara still stood tall and proud, I took shelter behind them. I willed my heartbeat to calm down as I felt shaky enough without a throbbing muscle trying to burst out my chest. There was still no sign of Temari, Kankuro or Naruto. What was worse was the thought that everybody in the whole of Sunagakure had disappeared too! To think that the ninja village would become nothing but a ghost town was something I did not want to entertain.

"They have to be somewhere..." I whispered shaking such ill thoughts from my mind.

Suddenly there was a sound. I moved closer and strained to hear until at last I caught a familiar melody. I continued to listen and immediately my spirits rose – it was singing! Crossing to the furthest tree I climbed up into the branches of the emerald green foliage. Kneeling on a thicker branch close to the trunk I had a good view of what was going on.

The children were bunched together standing in rows with their hands tied behind their backs. Some were terrified eyes shut tight, refusing to look at the two men and one woman that were guarding them intently. I recognised Toshie's shocking blue hair in the distance. She was standing near the front glaring and singing at the same time. I scanned the other hair styles trying to identify the shaggy brown manes of Ayuta and Azuma. After a few seconds I finally spotted them nearer to the back. It was hard to tell if the children were okay from this angle I hoped they hadn't tried to do anything stupid. There were no adults from the village here only the children, which meant they were probably being held somewhere else.

Suddenly one of the men rounded on the children and bawled at them.

"Come on, sing! What's the matter with you? You said you wanted to practise for this festival you keep going on about!" he laughed cruelly. He marched up and down the rows cuffing a few of the smaller boys over the back of the head in annoyance. "You sound like a bunch of wailing wild cats, pathetic. Who in their right mind would want to listen to you?"

"Lady Leaf for one!" a defiant shriek came from the middle of the crowd. My eyes widened in horror as I realised which fool was trying to show such loyalty to me.

The man marched straight into the centre casting the children aside snarling and raging. "Who said that?!" he barked. "Which peasant dares to speak against Kamabisushii Kenta of the Sound?"

I gulped did he just say the _Sound_? Finally I was beginning to grasp the situation here. So the Sound Village had made a play for Suna after all despite Orochimaru's weakened state. My lips turned down into a frown this made things a lot more complicated indeed. Where was Gaara, and why hadn't he thrown the bastards as soon as they set foot here?

"So, you all want to protect the spineless little weasel do you? All right I'll soon put a stop to that." Kenta grinned slyly towards his comrades before turning around and grabbing Toshie roughly by her long hair, "It's usually you who is more outspoken than the rest. You can tell me who is copying your bad manners!"

Toshie twisted violently feeling the strands of her hair tugging and pulling away from the scalp. She scratched at the man trying to gouge his eyes out, to this end he laughed all the more.

"Get the hell off me!" She screamed back angrily. Her hands clawed at the vice like grip that I knew was causing her much agony and pain. I understood that she was trying to be brave as an example to the others, but if she wasn't careful she'd soon be bald and nursing a severe head wound.

My eyes narrowed as I studied the Sound members. As much as I wanted to step in and rescue Toshie there would be little point when faced against a group of three ninja. I had no idea how powerful they were and what skills they possessed. To use my moukton jutsu against one perhaps two at the most was a risky gamble in itself. Then with a grimace I remembered the promise that I'd made to Lady Tsunade. I felt out my depth wishing that I'd stayed in the cave with the other travellers until help had arrived. What the hell was I going to do now?

I heard Hiro's squeaky pitch call out in alarm, "Don't hurt her, it was me!"

Kamabisushii looked down at the small child and sniffed with disappointment. He dropped Toshie from a height to the floor and began walking menacingly towards Hiro. The man was at least six feet tall wearing a low necked white robe secured with a silver belt. From his left shoulder a tiger skin was draped across his bareback and a large white tooth pierced his right ear.

As he drew near Hiro and the other children frantically scrambled away, the bully swung a heavy kanabo into the ground. It made the earth shake and crack, sending his victim tumbling straight onto his back. I watched helplessly as the iron club was raised once more and sent more crashing shock waves towards the defenceless target. The resulting squeaks and cries of terror from the captivated audience excited Kenta and his laughter echoed around the grounds.

I considered how to distract the ninja from his hunt without giving away my position. The kunai I held in the grip of my sweaty palms was slipping despite wiping the sweat onto the leg of my trousers. If this bully didn't stop soon I would be forced to make a move ahead of time. Kenta's yellow tanned eyes shone with a dangerous thrill as he sized up his potential kill. I couldn't wait any longer even if the ninja squad of three was likely to pulverize me. My body slid down the trunk and taking a deep steadying breath I plunged into the fray.

The only problem with my self-confessed foolish plan was that I failed to consider the possibility that another fool was already taking matters into his own hands.

"Get out of here, you idiot!" There was a cloud of choking black smoke that smothered the area. I stopped dead knowing the heated insult was directed at me. As I hastily reclaimed my position behind the tree I began searching for Kankuro, who I now guessed was behind the assault. The unmistakable growls of Kenta could be heard behind the black curtain. I smiled to myself pleased that the human tiger would have to pass up this meal.

The smoke barrier had served its purpose of unsettling the ninja but it didn't take long for them to recover. The three guards stood opposite the black hooded puppeteer trying to psyche him out. I knew Kankuro was the last person in the world to be intimated by a staring contest. He was the type that invited scrutiny and threats like they were old friends. The more theatrical and intense the battle; the more the Kazekage's older brother thrived on the energy.

"Looks like Suna Security are running out of options if they have to call the freak squad," the woman mused. "From what I've read you puppeteers are nothing special. I fail to be impressed when I see a boy on the verge of manhood still playing with toys."

"The only thing The Crow intends to play around with here is you!" Kankuro swung back the blue strings of chakra connected to what I identified as Karasu. Crow blinked its three eyes simultaneously as it clattered and chattered next to its master. When the determined youth thrust the chakra streams forwards the puppet raced at the woman making her jump away. She readjusted her footing before dodging a second aerial attack of kunai. Another round of sharp needles sprung from the tilted wrists of the deadly weapon. Once more the enemy was forced to perform an incredible series of back flips and twists to narrowly avoid death. She couldn't avoid all of them though as one of the needles embedded itself sharply into her left foot.

I saw the look of disbelief on her face as she tried to move. The needle had ripped through the skin and bone releasing clamps underneath the ground. She was now anchored. Unbeknown to her, Crow had detached its head from the main body and was now preparing to play check mate. I heard the sickening squelch and winced remembering the large dagger that Kankuro had triggered from Karasu's head three nights ago. As the woman's body slumped to the floor, Kenta and the remaining ninja suddenly decided that the newcomer was actually a threat to worry about.

"Take another step and I'll kill him!" he warned holding the club dangerously high in the air. Underneath the club the other man had pushed Hiro into harm's way and looked ready to slice his throat should the club fail to finish the job. Kankuro brought Karasu back towards him and stood completely still. There was a rush of wind blowing from the East. The body of the fallen seeped its life blood into the white sand.

"Aww, kill the punk. You think I care about the lives of these brats?"

Kenta grinned wildly, a set of pointed incisors overlapping the spilt of his upper lip which further completed the human tiger like appearance. "Here is gathered the next generation of Suna. If they die you're precious village will die with them, I seriously doubt that even you, puppeteer, would be prepared to sacrifice their lives."

Seeing himself stuck in a bind the ninja had no choice but to withdraw the chakra strings to his puppet. Karasu fell lifelessly to the floor with a deafening rattle, the show was over.


	34. Better late than never!

**Chapter Thirty Four **

**Better late than never! **

This looked bad - at least Kankuro seemed to think so. It was the first time I had watched even a flicker of concern cross his black eyes that always glinted strangely. The puppeteer could not risk hurting the children and that was exactly what Kenta was relying on. I began to wonder if the decision to separate the children from the adult population was quite deliberate. If the villagers were held hostage and kept being told that the lives of their off spring depended upon their cooperation, it would a powerful tool to keep everyone in check. That explained a motive for the civilians but left an empty gap as to where the village ninja were supposed to be.

"Hand that over too," Kenta suddenly demanded eyeing up the bandaged puppet on his opponent's back. Reluctantly Kankuro did as requested with the most unique expression I had ever seen him wear. It was a look that promised Kenta that his head would be on a pike suspended high in the air by the end of the day. There was a finality about it that gave me the creeps. Kenta failed to notice any deep meaning in the dirty scowl and instead threw his head back to laugh once again.

It was at that point in the heat and ecstasy of his mirth that I decided to make a move. I concentrated chakra into the palms of my hands and pressed them onto the trunk of the tree. I willed the frail roots of the oak to begin growing and creeping towards the men. I increased the chakra flow gently taking care not to draw any attention towards the trees. In deadly silence Kenta's ally was constricted in a tight network of green ivy infused and strengthened by my own chakra. The whites of his eyeballs grew bloodshot as my grip grew tighter and tighter around his nose and mouth. Finally he passed out and my vines recoiled around the auditorium taking the hostage with it. All the while the black hooded ninja distracted Kamabisushii reacting calmly even when he saw his precious bundle had been thrown into the sand.

The Sound Ninja took his kanabo and began to swing it dangerously near to Kankuro's pride and joy. He lined up his own weapon like a golf club taking practise shots and from time to time winked at the younger male.

"Anything happens to the Black Ant, and you'll have that club of yours stuffed where the sun don't shine!" Kankuro jeered his hands twitching.

Such a coarse threat from anyone else might have sounded petty, but I now knew how much those puppets meant to the shinobi. I often felt that perhaps he cared more about the wooden creations than his own flesh and blood. The way he had almost lovingly rubbed oil over the joints of Karasu and the amount of attention he bestowed upon the marionettes was testament enough. It must have seriously pained him to lose the fight so suddenly due to a child.

"Now!" I screamed running towards the pair making frantic hand signs. It was Kankuro's turn to laugh as the wooden beam that shot out from my arm caught Kenta full in the stomach. The beam smacked him into the ground and held him there, while my partner took the opportunity to retrieve the Black Ant. The prison didn't last long as I watched the adult grunt and began lifting the wood away from himself until it snapped in half.

"Who the hell are you?" Kenta raged as he tossed the wood splinters to his side. Face to face with the tiger man I gave a small, pathetic laugh and cast a chakra shield over my body. Despite the training that I'd taken it was very different to be engaging a ninja from another village. I wasn't battle hardened like the others but it had been my choice to come here and help. I couldn't back out now just because my opponent was an ugly sight up close.

"Lady Leaf," the children called out with excitement. They bobbed up and down, hands still tied behind their backs.

"Shizuka, you're supposed to be keeping those pups in order!" I assumed he was talking about my unconscious captive still tightly bound in green vines. "Shizuka! Shizuka!" the tiger man roared.

"Toshie, take the others - you know where to go," I prodded standing in front of the troop. The girl nodded and just like the Pied Piper coaxed the children to follow her. It didn't take much convincing for the other youths to join the line and head away from danger.

Kenta whirled around to see the children unguarded scattering in several directions. I had never understood why ninja trainees took such great joy from outwitting an opponent rather than to be content that they kept their lives. Seeing the sudden change in Kenta made me realise that when a tide of battle turned and the enemy digested this fact, it was actually quite satisfying!

"They're not going anywhere, you interfering cockroach!" Kamabisushi sent a dashing sound wave towards them. I directed my blue chakra towards the wave producing a curved wall as it travelled. I captured the impact before it could reach the children much to my relief. With a determined cry I sent the reflected sound waves back to Kenta toppling him over.

"Hey," Kankuro yelled towards me. "This is my fight, stay out of it!"

Numerous strips began flapping and curling through the air. Kankuro stood in his black costume surrounded in this swirling white sea of bandages, another puppet's limbs glowed with chakra ready to strike. So, this was the Black Ant. It was a lot larger than Karasu with a snout and crudely painted mouth. Protruding from the head were two red devil horns and yellow eyes positioned with a third circle joined in a triangle. I counted six arms and wondered why Kankuro's puppets always had so many limbs! A grey cloak partially covered the Black Ant's large body which reminded me of a barrel. Kuroari had dark, dishevelled hair not unlike the shaggy manes of a pair of troublesome twins I knew quite well.

Kenta did not approve of the Black Ant and swiftly retrieved a scroll attached to his belt. He unrolled the parchment spreading it out in an arch before him. As he crouched down and bit his smallest finger I realised that this must be a summoning scroll! I glanced at Kankuro who appeared quite happy to allow the ninja to make his summons. Perhaps he was intrigued by what the Sound could do. The older man spread the blood in a horizontal line across the scroll and it began to tremble and crease.

"Neko Claw Strike!" Kenta boomed. There was a flash and in astonishment I watched as something very large came bounding out the pages. There was a piercing roar which caught me off balance. When the dust finally settled I was within two metres of the creature which was striking, it was a wild cat. The feline turned before swiping both paws powerfully in my direction. It sent razor sharp claws hurdling just like a shrunken attack. The claws struck me full on and I screamed.

"Interesting defence, Yasu," Kankuro shook his head with dismay. I looked out from the cover of my arms which I had crossed in front of my body. There wasn't a single scratch and then I remembered my chakra shield that I had set up only moments before. Feeling foolish I stood up and pulled my vest top down as it was beginning to ride up.

"Will you beat it, Ambassador? I've got things covered!" He insisted sharply while dodging another onslaught of claws carving up the air.

"You can't fight a Sound ninja and that _thing_ on your own!"

"Don't pretend you give a shit," I was infuriated by that statement. Of course I gave a damn he was the Kazekage's older brother, a member of Gaara's family.

"Kankuro!" The anger in my voice raised a cheeky smile from the puppeteer.

"Look, if you get hurt Gaara will kill me. Try to regroup and we'll meet later, now move!"

I was fuming, why did he have to be such a reckless idiot? He'd already turned away ready to tackle Kenta and the wild cat secure in the knowledge that I would take the hint. Furious I ran away from the battle with deep shouts of fury and thunderous growls growing fainter in the distance. There was nothing I could do now. It was irritating how the siblings shared a common stubborn streak. I only hoped Kankuro's confidence would be enough to finish off the pair he was facing. I certainly didn't want to experience the discovery of his corpse if I survived this.

There was a time when the most stressful aspect of this job was to pick the right dress and struggle to hold a conversation. I never thought that I'd be creeping about wearing ninja garb trying to piece together the disappearance of an entire population. At least there was evidence of some resistance still alive and kicking in the ninja stronghold, even if I didn't know how many people were involved. If Kankuro was around that suggested Naruto could be prowling about somewhere in the village. I had to find the knucklehead ninja and find out what the plan was (if there even was a plan!)

I glanced up wondering if anyone could be watching my movements right now and shuddered. You really needed nerves of steel for this sort of thing. How Temari could become a kunoichi as a personal career choice was beyond my grasp. All this sneaking business, flying by the seat of your pants wondering if some psycho was going to break your neck – it just wasn't healthy. The only motivation I had for plunging myself into chaos was the villagers. So much about this situation didn't make sense and as Ambassador I felt a strange sense of responsibility for them all. I was beginning to resent the 'what if' scenarios assaulting my brain.

Gradually I came to a halt a good ten metres away from the Administration's central hub. Ever since Gaara had been promoted I had renamed the famed establishment as the' Kazekage Ivory Tower,' due to the habit of isolating himself up there for days on end. An image of his brick red hair waving about as he signed endless scrolls came to mind, and for the first time that day I smiled. I didn't want to admit it, but I had missed our random evening conversations. As time had passed I had come to understand that the silence he often held was not just for silence's sake. There was meaning in those long pauses and although it may seem that he was self obsessed, on occasion he had a way of surprising people (especially me.) I simply couldn't understand how Gaara would allow the village children to be kidnapped like that. It didn't match his logical style of leadership. I sighed and realised that it was pointless to wonder without speaking to the Kazekage directly about his motivations, that much was clear.

There was a sudden buzz of activity from the Administration building. Underneath the archways linked to the largest building in Sunagakure were more villagers. I could see the men, hands tied behind their backs kneeling down in the sand and the women behind them. Some of the men's clothing was ripped and shredded suggesting signs of a fight. Many had raw bruises, bleeding cuts and swollen cheeks. They looked tense, eyes glazed with shock as they focused on something which was just out of my vision. With frustration I crawled on my stomach edging further around the wall trying desperately to see what the trouble was.

A team of Sound ninja armed with katana had begun prodding and poking a selected group of terrified civilians further into the open.

"You must maintain control!" a voice shouted and I recognised Baki's commanding voice. It sounded strained though and then I saw that he too was tied up, evidently furious about the whole situation. My mouth gaped open I couldn't believe that one of the strongest members of the advisory council had been captured. And of all the people to be standing next to the man (who was over six feet tall) was Grandma Rooba!

"You will be the first to receive your reward for such loyalty," one of the Sound ninja sneered.

"Oh, shut your trap!" Rooba warbled at him. "You tricksters think you've got everything wrapped up. Well, let me tell you-"

There was a sharp crack that immediately floored the old woman. I blinked, _where the hell did that come from_? Nobody in the close vicinity had moved a muscle. No weapon was unsheathed nor shrunken thrown, just who was on the attack here?

The old woman fought back the pain that was threatening to cripple her and wobbled back into a slouched standing position. Her gaze was fixed but it was a little less cocky now. She was no longer concerned it seemed about the younger man who was trying to intimidate the group. The fine lines of her wrinkled eyes had narrowed into a deep and unsettling glare. It took a lot to upset the elderly woman, there wasn't very much left in the world that could surprise her, let alone scare her. She had witnessed many wars and endured through hard times. She knew how to survive, when to react and when to remain calm. She had stood as a pillar of wisdom to the people of Suna. To see this woman silenced and unwary was the most disturbing scene that I had come across all day.

"Sabaku no Gaara," her croaky voice was strong despite her recent assault. "Has the kindness and dedication of the Konoha Ambassador failed to teach you what is most important? Even now, as Kazekage you would seek to strike one of your own people, a citizen you have sworn to protect?"

Such questions would make no sense usually... I abandoned all attempts at remaining hidden and pushed my body further forwards. The blind spot in my version was finally revealed and in horror I could now make out the familiar figure standing over Gaara who was kneeling on the floor.

"To think that the Kazekage would be responsible for the deaths of his charges, how pitiful you are." My body froze solid as a prickly realisation was coming to bear fruit. This was another voice I knew, one which I'd hoped never to see again so long as I was living and breathing on this planet.

A cold shiver rippled through me setting my teeth on edge. I saw the long white ponytail and the round spectacles which were glinting with the reflection of the sun. My legs refused to move I couldn't meet face to face with that wicked man, not again. The courage that had carried me through the Suna gates and helped me to rescue the children disappeared. My heart was beating painfully as anxiety and fear struck me down. I could see Gaara and the villagers were in terrible danger, I should do something...quickly.

"He'll kill us all!" one of the women shouted in terror as they watched Gaara's hands transforming from fingers into large yellow claws. There was desperation in his eyes and the rasping breaths coming from his lips were interrupted by disturbing groans and growls. Suddenly he clamped the claws on either side of his head screaming in agony. Baki stood bravely in front of the group nearest to the Kazekage knowing full well what would happen should Shukaku emerge.

No! I pinched myself. _Get up, get up and do something!_ Remembering what Gaara had done to the peace garden hit me hard, and that had by no means been the Jinchūriki's full power. What would Shukaku be capable of if he was allowed complete free reign? I knew exactly what it would mean complete annihilation and the end to the Hidden Village. I simply couldn't allow that to happen.

"There's no need to remain here," Yakushi chuckled taking one last look at the scene; the Kazekage losing control of his body to a demon's bloodlust and the fresh meat huddled together like mice caught in a trap. "The Sand Freak will finish the job quite nicely," he crouched down and whispered something inaudible into the younger ninja's ear. Gaara shook his head wildly and Kabuto smirked back with satisfaction.

I watched the bastard leave making sure no ninja had been left as a guard over the proceedings. It was a blessing perhaps that the Sound ninja placed too much confidence in the animalistic instincts of Shukaku. With no reason left to stall I sprinted over to find Gaara still on his knees. When I came near my hair immediately became frizzy with static electricity. My clothes clung to my petite frame in an uncomfortable way that irritated my skin. I could feel the air pulsing around me in a warped and unnatural manner there was definitely something wrong here. Just like in the hospital which seemed a lifetime ago, I ignored the warning instinct to run away and focused on walking. A little further in and I reached the eye of the storm.

"Ambassador, that would be unwise!" Baki tried to pull me away but I resisted and shook my head. He was a little taken aback, "you don't know what you're dealing with here."

I was already struggling to keep my own panic under wraps. He didn't understand how ashamed I felt watching Kabuto, how I'd been unable to move like a frightened child. I'd already left Kankuro behind facing a pair of deadly opponents I wasn't prepared to run away from this. "Gaara, what is it?" I was beside him in an instant assessing the symptoms and trying very hard to pretend that the sand wasn't rustling and circling around us. His forehead was dripping with sweat, signs of physical exertion that was taking a major toll.

"Keep away from me!" His whole body shuddered and jerked wildly in different directions.

"Lady Leaf, you must come away from that demon at once!" Grandma Rooba cried out.

"I haven't come this far just to abandon the Kazekage of Suna!" I snapped back at the old woman. I turned back to Gaara lowering my voice trying to appear calm, "Talk to me, tell me what's going on. Is it Shukaku? Is he trying to emerge and take over your body, but why?" His grimace was proof enough of my diagnosis.

"I have no chakra left," he grunted. I gulped. "When the message came that the Mist had planned an evasion from the shore I dispatched most of the ninja squads to counter the threat." His voice was a gasp, "pleas for reinforcements came soon after. The armies had described another person amongst the Mist ranks; a previous member of the Leaf with followers of Orochimaru, Sound ninja. Knowing Yakushi's influence it did not surprise me that the Mist, aware of new leadership would attempt to violate the treaty. I sent assistance leaving the village protected with a skeleton team and myself."

"You did what you thought was best," I tried to reason with him. His breathing grew more difficult and I undid the clasp at the top of his coat. My sympathetic words only seemed to further aggravate the condition as he howled again. This time he culled the words from his throat struggling and choking. With horror his face became paler still but I continued to listen intently, refusing to appear weak.

"The Sound had other squads stationed around the village in preparation. The assault from the coastal region was merely a diversion, something I may have noticed if I'd taken the time to think."

Another thought occurred to me also which sent guilt colliding into my heart. Had Temari been there instead of staying behind to help me, Gaara would have had an extra perspective to consider. I bet Temari might have spotted a pattern in the enemy movements and come to a logical conclusion.

"The initial wave failed as I saw to their imprudent ignorance personally. However the cost to my reserves was great and there was a secondary assault from within our own walls. I had not considered that an insider may infiltrate the village. When an evacuation was called the children were gathered ready to be escorted to a safe haven." Gaara was mournful becoming more distressed as his fingernails dug into the floor. "I was foolish, we gave them exactly what they wanted and now..." There was a brief pause before his teeth began chattering. He gnashed them together appalled by his human frailty, "I have nothing to keep Shukaku under control!"

"The children could be dead because of you!" one shrill voice rang out from the crowd. There was a snarl and Gaara's face became deformed as a sandy colouration spread from his left side. The same strange blue marks etched around his eye and drooling fangs emerged.

I looked up searching for the culprit, "who said that?" I demanded. A single man stepped forward unrelenting keeping a beady watch on Gaara.

"I have the right to say such things. If there was a traitor in the village they should have been caught!"

"Traitor or not, Master Gaara had a contingency plan in place," I told him firmly. "Please be assured that everyone is okay. I've spoken to the children myself and they are hidden in a safe place." Baki appeared most surprised at this news but still remained at the front of the group. He knew that the threat to Suna wasn't over yet.

"And the demon?" the man countered.

"God damn it! He's more than just a demon, can't you see how hard this is for him?" I offered my canister of water to Gaara which he knocked clean away. There were gasps and whimpers from the audience.

"You must get as far away from here as you can," his irises flickered becoming a darker, muddier green. I watched him desperately fighting to remain dominant. The villagers peered cautiously at him like some kind of zoo exhibit. Many were fearful but there was sympathy from others who could see how the Kazekage genuinely cared about their wellbeing.

"We should run for our lives!" the man called out pushing his way through the huddled bodies.

"He doesn't want to hurt anyone!" I protested, appealing to the villagers.

"You're a fool!" one of the women shrieked.

"Yasu, please come with me. Escape while you still can!" Rooba pleaded pulling at my vest.

"I'm not running away when there's something I can still try!"

"What are you doing?" Gaara's eyes becoming dark black with each passing second. "You know that I'll kill you." Kneeling down a little more closely I placed a hand on each shoulder.

"If you need chakra, you can borrow some of mine rather than _his_," the Kazekage tried to push me back but I held on, it was now or never! I closed my eyes and imagined blue chakra from my centre being transferred along the network. I searched for an open link with Gaara's nearly depleted chakra and when this was done began combining it with my own.

At first nothing appeared to be happening but I had learnt to be patient about these things. As my palms tingled I felt power being drained away from me. I could feel something dark probing my mind and tried very hard to remain fixed on the task at hand. This I managed to do for a good five minutes before the images in my mind's eye became increasingly twisted and erotic. Somehow I knew that these things were linked to Shukaku and his life as a priest. He was a corrupted priest and a man I remembered, trying to rationalise what I was seeing. The smell of incense that had come from nowhere was overwhelming. There was chanting that echoed in my head. Two large hands scooped up gold coins time and time again. The scene was so graphic; the body of a woman in nude tied to an altar and a knife posed ready to strike. Crimson blood splattered everywhere it was vibrant. Organs were torn from the body with lightening speed, first the heart, lungs, large intestine and the liver. Servants were ready with silver platters to transfer the precious sacrifice to the burning flames at the centre of the temple.

"Ambassador, that will suffice," I heard a distant voice say before realising that Gaara was holding onto my shoulders. "To leave yourself completely depleted of chakra would be irresponsible."

"I only gave a little, didn't I?" I said feeling fuzzy. He looked a lot better now, no longer shaking and fully stabilised. His body was human no longer blurry with features of the raccoon dog breaking through. I was glad to have taken the risk.

His head was tilted at an angle studying me, "half of your supply and more if I had not seen fit to close the connection." That was a shock no wonder I was feeling lightheaded!

As I looked about me the villagers were still here astounded at what they had seen. "Why didn't you run away?" I asked Rooba and the others.

"It didn't seem right for a stranger to show more loyalty to our Kazekage than the people whom he serves." She said and went over to the young Kage without hesitation. "I've been wrong about you, sonny. Please accept a meek apology from this frail old lady." She held out her hand and pulled the stunned leader back onto his feet. "We shouldn't run away when this is our home! The _real enemy_ is still parading around our streets. You saw how the Sound ninja treated our homes with disrespect and set our ink business alight as an example. My friends, honourable Kazekage," to which she bowed low. "The battle for Sunagakure is only just getting started!" There was a great cheer and I grinned back at Gaara who was still watching the villagers with complete mystification.


	35. Battle for Sunagakure!

**Chapter Thirty Five**

**Battle for Sunagakure**

I had never seen such a turnaround of events before, with the villagers making a grab for anything that could be used as a weapon in a sweeping frenzy. In times of crisis it looked like everyone wanted to pull together. The men and women were no longer fearful since hearing that their children were safe they wanted to make a difference and take the Sound down. The optimism of these people was something I didn't expect, they always seemed so preoccupied and isolated from one another. I genuinely felt privileged to see this side of Suna and how positive it was for Gaara to observe it too.

Grandma Rooba and the others turned to their Kazekage expectantly. I saw his eyes widen in the same way as when I presented him with the cloak all those nights ago. He glanced at me I understood that this was new to him but even I could see what needed to be done.

"They're waiting for you to give them instructions," I whistled from the side of my mouth.

He shook his head dismissively before saying, "They are not shinobi."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He knew that the ninja squads were still fighting at the coast it might take days for them to return. "They're your people," I implored. "Beggars can't be choosers! Why are you hesitating? They want to save the village, have faith in them – use them."

"Just as simple as that, eh?" He said to me whilst taking a moment to stop and stare at them. The adrenaline buzz charging inside me was ready for action, and here was the Kazekage killing the pace. I thought he was just going to stand there forever and never make a move. Finally he marched with purpose into the crowd to begin issuing orders.

The Sound didn't know what hit them they'd obviously expected an easy target. Perhaps they thought that the civilian population was so disillusioned and weak, that they would stand by and do nothing. I could see disbelief in their eyes when they caught sight of the angry mob which began driving them back towards the village gates.

We'd been lucky there was no sign of Kabuto and his crew just yet. If we could take back enough of the village to force retreat perhaps I wouldn't have to meet him. I held onto that optimism whilst continuing to duck and roll out of harm's way. The trained professionals against the have-a-go vigilantes, it was like something out of a fairytale. My instinct and wits were in hyper mode constantly trying to assess where the next attack might come from. The reality of fighting was so different from my training; it was too hectic and rushed - hard to keep up! Sometimes you could anticipate the path of kunai but more often than not you simply had to choose a direction to dodge and hope for the best. It was an exhausting technique for battle and I really wanted it to end.

As the distraction (bait in my opinion) it was our job to concentrate the enemies' attention into the northern sector of the village. From there I could recall a general idea that _something_ would happen. As to what this mysterious something was I had no idea. The Kazekage had been vague on that fact.

So, here we were gradually becoming overpowered the more we pushed towards the North. I didn't see the assault beginning to disintegrate until it was literally on top of me. The charging crowd's momentum was brought to a complete standstill. There were shadows surrounding us as the ninja manoeuvred into position for a counter strike. I heard the clinking of chains and the slice of swords being withdrawn from their scabbards. Then the triumphant row from the Suna civilians turned into screams of absolute panic. As I surveyed the scene I came back to reality with a bump. I was learning the hard way that the Good were not invincible and in tides of battle – they got hurt. When the person next to me collapsed with a collection of shrunken in their back I was hit by crippling remorse.

Projectiles came from the air and attacks on the ground. They herded us together like a flock of sheep taking sadistic advantage of the u turn in our fortunes. Powerless I watched several more civilians fall down onto the ground with their blood splattering onto the clothes of their neighbours. I staggered from one step to the next unable to make my body coordinate. The shock of such brutality was crushing but I yelled and discharged wooden spikes at the enemy in a frenzied attack. I took out the nearest squadron who had not anticipated ninjutsu from the rebels. The remaining Sound signalled to one another and then they came for me.

My hands smacked into the sand creating large logs to shoot up towards the sky. I called to the other civilians in the cross fire to get behind me. Having understood the signal they turned tail and retreated towards the safety of the wooden barrier. Grandma Rooba spoke gruffly into my ear trying to be heard above the racket.

"This isn't what I bargained for, Lady Leaf!"

"Neither did I!" I shouted back grimly.

There was some respite from the battle here at least as I caught my breath. I could hear weapons embedding themselves into the oak with loud thuds. My barrier was the only thing between our safety and certain death. I made a quick sweep of the survivors; all exhausted, some shaking after the awful scenes they had endured. Others in the crowd were slumped against the logs satisfied that their part in the mission was accomplished. I glanced at one old man who was still standing with shaking fists. He was practically snorting with anger and smacking his closed fist against the beams. Rooba went to him and I continued to focus on maintaining the stability of my chakra flow to the barrier.

_Hang on a minute_, I opened one eye and glanced back at elderly man. It was Hiro's grandfather who was making the fuss. I didn't recognise him without the huge and ornate eboshi hat that he liked to wear. His hair was short, mostly white with grey streaks that highlighted his rather large ears. He was wearing an informal navy blue kimono and sash. During my time in Suna I had only seen the ink shop owner sleeping at the counter or chattering wildly to anyone who would listen to his old war stories. I remembered Azuma mentioning how he was a man who generally avoided getting involved in other people's affairs.

"They took everything away from me!" He croaked at Grandma Rooba who was trying to calm him down. I watched the two elders square up to one another, hands on hips, eyeball to eyeball. Rooba snapped at him, calling him foolish.

"Yuushi, there is nothing we can do about your business at this very moment! For the love of Suna, can you not see how much trouble we're in?"

"I fought in the Ninkai Daisen! Don't you dare tell me about trouble, you incompetent old prune! I lost my son and I haven't lived this long to allow some insolent foreigners to burn down my home too. You know as well as I how long it has taken to nurture and expand my shop over time. When poverty struck and times were hard I stuck with it – and now, it's in ashes. They set it alight," he sobbed, "all the inks I made, the paper that I created with my own hands. I stood back and watched them burn."

"But you're still alive and Hiro is safe that is all that truly matters," the woman smiled at him as he hung his head in defeat. "And if you call me an incompetent old prune again," she lowered her voice. "Then I'll prise those false teeth out that big mouth of yours and toss them into the sewage pipes!" Yuushi made a funny squeak at that prospect and backed down.

The assault on my barrier had finally stopped. I crouched down and peeked behind the nearest beam. Gaara had arrived just as he promised. He walked slowly into the oncoming path of danger as though taking a leisurely stroll in the park. It was incredible to see how nothing could touch the Kazekage, that sand shield flowed and curved around his body with ease. He was focused on taking care of business and betrayed no sign of emotion. He came nearer and nearer to the Sound who were already shifting nervously in their positions. There were shouts for new orders but no one seemed sure of what to do. Again, seeing Gaara was something they hadn't expected, it threw them.

It didn't feel right. I kept thinking more and more about the assault and how things were progressing. There was something strange about the whole way the enemy was reacting. It had been too easy to take out Shizuka for example. The way I stumbled across the children without so much as a single confrontation. In fact, how I entered the village at all. This was supposed to be an invasion by the Mist and the Sound. I looked again at the ninja facing Gaara; disorganised, using weapons but no jutsu...what was going on?

Suddenly there was a flash of blue and Yuushi dashed out from a gap in the half spherical barrier into the open. Rooba and I traded horrified looks as we watched him scrambling through the dust and chaos. He ran back towards the market square not stopping for a second. I was surprised at how quickly he could move for an old man.

"Get back here, Yuushi Koshinuke!" She bawled after him. I managed to tackle the elderly lady to the floor before a stray throwing knife nearly embedded itself in her skull. "What the devil does he think he's doing? That idiot – he should be thinking about his grandson not playing war games."

"SAND DRIZZLE!" I jumped as Gaara's deep voice roared. He called to the sands making the grains rise into the air to form a gigantic cloud above the ninja. From this, the cloud swirled and grew denser until a powerful shower of sand rained down on the surprised group of men. The sand drops came crashing down mercilessly, continuing to batter the skin of Gaara's opponents like sharp hail. The drops grew larger until some were the size of small boulders, more and more came. There were many cries of pain but Gaara didn't stop. He watched as the enemy cowered, pathetically they raised their arms above their heads trying to stop the drizzle from touching them.

Rooba gave the signal for the others to now take cover behind the buildings and I released the wooden barrier. The curved structure retracted and sank into the sand. When it was gone, the full devastation was revealed. I could see the bodies of our dead at the feet of the Kazekage. The Sound and Mist had no second thoughts about killing the innocent civilians that littered the sandy ground. I couldn't believe that something so awful was happening in the village. I stood anchored watching heads snap backwards as they collided with the rain. The hail was beginning to tear clothes apart and strike their heads with such force that their bodies swayed as though they were being punched. The smaller pellets of hard sand struck the other adult men leaving gaping, bloody wounds. Those that curled up into a ball tried to escape, but they couldn't bear the relentless pounding across their raw backs. Eventually they cried out in a maddening agony and began crawling on their knees blindly swiping at the sand.

I knew that Gaara was trying to protect the village from these people. Their suffering was a punishment for the crimes they had committed. Despite knowing this I could feel tears forming as I continued to listen to those screams. I couldn't handle it there was a part of me that wanted to help, but this was tinged with a need for revenge too.

Revenge was such a hot, all consuming passion, something I hadn't felt since the death of Matron Shun. I had tried, tried so hard to forget the dark urges that called to me to slit the throat of Kabuto Yakushi. I had tried to forget how my dreams had painted the image of his head swinging to and fro from one hand, and a blood stained katana from the other. I was sickened by the feeling of satisfaction I'd felt. Whenever such a dream had occurred I would spend the morning in the shrine praying. I prayed that I would never be able to accomplish what I had dreamed, no matter how strong the temptation was.

"DESERT COFFIN!" A wave of sand chased after the men, who by now had the sense to run away from Gaara for their lives. I knew better than them however. The red head's face remained unchanged as he guided the sand towards his target. Once they were immobilized he would raise his fist and crush the life out of every last one.

I looked at the fallen bodies and back at the fleeing ninja. I couldn't understand why they didn't fight back. There were no shields or summons, taijutsu or chakra attacks. They were paralysed, hopeless as if they had been abandoned. They were trapped now by the sand and struggling in desperation. There would be more blood spilt, how did I feel about that? If I allowed this to happen there was no going back. I couldn't claim to believe that as a nurse human life was sacred anymore. My body was already lurching forwards as I fought against my conscience. I gained strength and ran full throttle in front of the enemy. Gaara lowered his fist and glared back at me. I was shaking, my nerves jingled as I wondered how I could explain what I was doing. A silence passed, his grip on the men remained.

"The more I think about this attack, the more it doesn't make sense," I told him breathlessly. I turned to the nearest man who was pinned with fright inside his sand prison. His pupils were wide and black as I asked him, "Are you prepared to die?"

He looked back at me, a sickening whimper jittering from his lips. He flinched as I came near and began weeping, "I don't wanna die." He said, shivering and stuttering through his desperate breaths.

"But as shinobi, you shouldn't fear death," I stated as a matter of fact.

His tears rapidly tumbled down his cheeks staining them. The jittering and whimpering continued and grew louder as if he couldn't control himself. "I'm not a shinobi," he shrieked. I took a step back and observed him very carefully.

"Are you saying that in the hope you'll be spared?" I snarled at him. "You claim not to be shinobi, but you see the people that you've killed lying there don't you?" He cried out and shut his eyes but I yanked the back of his head. "You can see them, can't you? Open your eyes and look at them!"

The man did as commanded, "I see them! I see them!" He was trying to nod despite the fact that I was still pulling his hair backwards. As he continued, an apology spluttered from his mouth and my temper was tipped towards breaking point. It was a mockery to say such a word when it made very little difference to the corpses that could not hear it. "

"If you're not shinobi, then who are you?" I'd forgotten that the Kazekage had been watching my every move and did not intervene. Automatically I let go of the man's hair and stepped backwards, away from the situation.

"Civilians from the Mist!" The captive shrieked, "We were told by Orochimaru that we could have Sunagakure handed to us. He told us that the Yondaime Kazekage had been killed and the village was ripe for an invasion fleet. Our Mizukage sent troops to the seas but needed additional fighting power. He declared martial law and imposed a decree of inscription. Any man old enough to hold a weapon was enlisted in the squads."

"A well thought out lie," Gaara dismissed him as he raised his fist once more.

The man broke down again, "Please, the Mizukage said if we wanted to see our wives and children again, we had no choice."

"So, he sent the pawns that could be discarded into hell itself," he blinked.

"Ambassador Katashi, it's true!" An urgent yell came from my side. Suddenly there was a firm grip on my arm and I glanced at the orange fabric attached to it. "Once we removed their weapons they all turned and ran away! Groups of fake ninja have been captured all over the village."

"But…I just saw Kabuto and that man Kenta, he had real powers!" I protested.

"Well, that was part of the illusion, pretty smart trick, huh? Nearly had me fooled too." Naruto wiped away some blood that was trickling from his bruised lip. "They mixed in a few of the Sound ninja to scare the villagers that were left and secure the whole complex!"

It made sense in a way. The Mist had dispatched their very best to keep the troops near the shore occupied. When reinforcements were sent and left the Hidden Village vulnerable that was the time to strike. All the real ninja had to do was throw their weight around and give the _impression_ that the village was under siege. If civilians were dressed like ninja, how could we tell the difference? It would be easy to secure the stronghold if the residents had fled in panic.

"Hmm, then what is to be done with these?" Gaara gestured towards the human sandcastles. The sand crunched underneath his sandals as he came closer to inspect the captives. The men were absolutely terrified of the young boy who held their lives in his hands.

"You can't just kill them, man that is just wrong!" Naruto growled beside me. "If their families are being held hostage what do you expect them to do?"

Gaara's eyes flickered towards the Leaf ninja and called his name. "Uzumaki," he said slowly. Naruto glanced up with a sulk plastered across his tanned face.

"Since our last meeting a great deal of change has taken place. My reason for living is no longer to prove the worth of my existence. My reason for living is to serve and protect the people of this village."

Naruto was astounded his sapphire eyes were shimmering with emotion. I looked between the two and felt like a spare part. There was a close bond here spoken without words that I didn't understand. I remembered the flashbacks of Gaara's memories and how determined Naruto had been to protect his friends. This wasn't the same person that I spoke to over a year ago asking for help with my difficult patient. It struck me how the events of that terrible week were still making an impact even now.

"What will happen to them, then?" He asked Gaara with agitation. At this the Kazekage released a sigh. He realised that since immediate death was out of the question, there was a new problem to be solved. I knew what was coming and to be honest I couldn't blame him.

"Ambassador?"

When I understood that the prisoners were not to be executed, I had started thinking of an alternative. It was difficult to remain emotionally detached though when innocent people had died. This however was my role and as well as considering Sunagakure, there was the potential of a similar threat being attempted against Konohagakure too. If we came down heavily on the Mist it might provoke outrage and yet treading too softly would encourage further attacks.

"Perhaps we should let the victims decide with a trial," I said quietly without looking up. I heard a sharp intake of breath beside me, "We didn't ask to be invaded, Naruto." I said quickly. Now the boy was sulking at me too. "No matter what the reasons are it was still their decision. You know that Lady Tsunade would suggest that a fair trial is an objective compromise. You can't just expect the Sunan people to conveniently forget this day ever happened!"

The young blond had no answer for that and closed his mouth.

Later that afternoon the village had been secured and all the Mist civilians rounded up. I discovered the remains of Kenta in the Training Grounds and several other dead bodies. I was beginning to realise that despite being a nurse in a hospital I'd been shielded from the ugly side of medicine. The part of the job were no matter what you do that patient will die; despite your best efforts, despite the prayers and the crossed fingers. Even if that person has never harmed a fly it happens. There were several rows of bodies draped with white blankets stretched out next to each other. I had stopped feeling sick inside there was a hollow gap where my heart should be bleeding. I wasn't sure what had happened. If you see enough of something does it really become normal? Could a human being become desensitised even to death?

"So, what happens now, Yasu?" Naruto was still standing beside me watching the scene.

It was a beautiful sunset, although the colours were blending into one another. The sky was awash with pale red and blocking the dying rays of the sun were dark wisps of cloud. They looked like painted shadows on an artist's canvas. The semi circle of gold continued to sink into the distant sand dunes producing a fine yellow haze around it. Such a tranquil setting usually calmed me but my mind was blurring all the things I had seen together. It was trying to make sense of events that didn't happen every day. It tried to translate the blood stained faces and frightening attacks into something I could comprehend. Suna had struggled through the past year trying to rise above the mistakes of the past. The whole village was beginning to see a hopeful future and then the Mist had to do _this_! Then I remembered it wasn't the Mist, it was Orochimaru, again. _God damn that bastard!_

"From what I gather any enemy of Suna has always been killed on sight without any consideration. The fact of the matter is this hidden village has never kept prisoners of war alive before. Conducting trials especially for enemies of the state is the complete unknown. I'll have to write a letter to Lady Tsunade and ask for advice."

"Geez, I'm sure glad I'm not Ambassador!" Naruto laughed. "Things just sound complicated with a job like that."

"I'd rather be an Ambassador than a Kage," I replied thoughtfully.

Naruto tilted his head, "Why do you say that? If you're Kage you have the power to change stupid rules and boss people around!"

"I don't think it's as simple as that."

"Sure it is!" He smiled back brightly and I didn't have the energy to argue any further. After all this was the future Hokage I was talking to, right?

I left Naruto and began trudging my way back to my house of residence. I suddenly felt very old, older than my years which I knew was completely ridiculous. This constant drain was difficult to cope with at the best of times. But I'd stopped complaining to myself long ago about how hard this job was. That was because I knew no matter how much of a bad day I'd had, it could never compare to the bad day of the Kazekage.

Everyone had played their part in the restoration of normality; when the prisoners were secure Gaara had returned to the ivory tower and began making immediate preparations for the trial. Temari and I had stayed near the hospital tending to the injured and compiling lists of evidence. Kankuro and Naruto had organised the recovery of the dead and clearing of debris. The villagers including Grandma Rooba had set up temporary shelters for those who were homeless. Some elders helped the children to be reunited with their families. Unfortunately others were assigned the task of delivering heartbreaking news to the relatives of those who had perished in the fighting.

This I carried with me like a heavy stack of firewood across my back. I released sweaty hair from the confines of my headband and allowed the cool evening breeze to soothe me. I stood still listening to Suna in the dark, quiet and undisturbed. _We didn't ask to be invaded, Naruto. _I smirked at the words as they came back to me. We, which suggested that I thought I was a part of this village now. So dissimilar from when I first arrived to the place of 'confounded yellow grains.' I couldn't believe that I'd ever thought that there was 'nothing worth seeing here.' It was like I'd been talking about a completely different world.

Suddenly something hard slammed into me from behind. I gave a short cry which was immediately silenced as I thrown against a wall. I'd hit my head and when I tried to move I was so disorientated that I collapsed back onto the floor. I couldn't see my attacker, "Who's there?" I called out into the black.

"You really are a nuisance," a voice said. There was a flash of blue light resonating to my right. I cursed my sight for taking so long to adjust and then just as quickly wished that it wouldn't. The illuming light was a chakra wave, attached to the chakra wave was an arm, and attached to this was sniggering laughter. I watched helplessly as the chakra seemed to increase with bright intensity. Without warning the light charged towards me with lightning speed.

"Now, be a good girl and die, quietly."


	36. The Invitation

**Chapter Thirty Six **

**An Invitation**

Lying down, with arms crossed behind my head I stared at the hospital ceiling. On the tables surrounding me were a variety of origami paper flowers and cards from well wishers. It seemed the news of my efforts to assist the Hidden Village had spread which still embarrassed me somewhat. Temari and Kankuro had paid a brief visit and tactfully avoided all of my questions about damage and casualties. Despite this I understood that Suna was safe again. I should have been happy, but since I'd been left alone in the silent ward nightmares were haunting me. There was nothing worse than being forced to lay down for strict bed rest with only your thoughts for company.

In my heart of hearts I was glad that I was of use to the people of Suna (at last) and most important - to the Kazekage. Somehow I wanted to repay the debt that I owed him after bringing Naoki and I back together as a family. Unfortunately as one debt was repaid another problem had sprung forth. As I tried to piece together my correspondence to Lady Tsunade which should have been sent to Konoha at least four days ago; I thought glumly about how to phrase 'disobeyed orders in relation to forbidden jutsu' in a favourable light.

In frustration I took up my koto. I resumed my practise continuing to work on my own personal composition for the festival. My fingers plucked and stroked the strings as I explored a variety of arrangements. At times the notes flowed together effortlessly and I was pleased with my work, other sessions produced little more than a bad headache. It seemed today that my creative talents had decided to abandon me and I lay the instrument next to me on the sheets.

There was a knock at the door, another sign that reminded me that I was isolated in an individual ward. The nurse wearing white overalls came into the room.

"Miss Katashi," I smiled at her. She was one of the few people in the whole village that preferred to use my surname (rather than title) for address purposes. "Are you up to seeing another visitor?"

"If it's Toshie, please go and tell her to play for a while!"

The young woman laughed sympathetically, she understood how the children could be over zealous during visiting hours. "No," she looked nervously at me for a moment before speaking. "It's Lord Gaara, he wishes to see you."

"You better let him in." She nodded and disappeared for a few moments. _Oh, here we go _I sighed, it was time for the lecture I was sure of it. For four days I'd been dreading it knowing that I was responsible for the death of many due to my own inadequate judgment.

He swept in, his eyes watching me from a distance. As always he was silent and brooding with stillness in the dry air that followed him wherever he went. I had noticed before how time seemed to stop in his presence. That was part of the super natural mystery about Gaara being linked with Shukaku.

"Good afternoon," I tried a greeting and before waiting for his usual non response I jumped straight into a question that had been plaguing me for some time. "Was everyone accounted for?" I continued, pretending to tune my strings. Silence still surpassed speech in his eyes it seemed.

When there was no reply to this I twisted my head behind me to see him looking at the floor. This was a particular habit the Kazekage employed when thinking not of the immediate answer but what to say afterwards. I used to think that he merely tolerated our exchanges as a form of entertainment, now I wasn't so sure. When he held my hand back on that hill it yet again changed the perception that I had of him. Nothing had been mentioned since and therefore I took this signal to mean I should confine the incident to the past, which I did.

"Over seventy civilians were injured, with thirty fatalities including Hiro's Grandfather."

I ignored the sting in my throat and nodded with understanding, "I'll ask Grandma Rooba to keep an eye on him."

He immediately shook his head, "I have already made arrangements." I couldn't hide my surprise. "Despite appearances the old woman was apparently close to the family. I have already prepared the appropriate documentation for guardian rights to be transferred. She above all others wishes to care for the boy while she is able."

"I think Hiro would appreciate that..." I tried to smile but my muscles felt glued together. I noticed the green orbs flicker for a second in my direction before resuming their safe and neutral position on the floor. He must be making an effort to get to know the villagers a little more, how else could he have known how much a comfort Rooba would be to Hiro?

I placed a heavy hand on the cast that was currently keeping my right leg in position to set and heal. Glaring at the plaster prison encasing my limb I tried to twist the cast from left to right but it was stuck hard. The distracting tingle was unbearable at times as my trapped skin cried out to be scratched. I had so far managed to distract myself from the maddening itch but there was no escape, especially at night time.

My visitor saw fit to change the conversation once more after a drawn out pause.

"Ambassador, I have received two letters; one from the leader of the Wind Country and the other," he stopped and frowned. He was reluctant to continue it seemed. "The other is from Katashi Yui."

I glanced at the letter burning it into tiny shreds in my head. What did that bitch want from me, now? I was surprised at how easy it was to dismiss the news.

"I'm afraid that I have absolutely nothing to say to the woman. Kazekage, please burn the letter and do not let it trouble you again. I certainly will not."

It was strange to hear myself speak so impartially about mother. She was the woman who had brought me up and was my complete world for such a long time. I didn't think twice about what I'd said even when Gaara's eyes widened for just a second.

"Perhaps you may feel differently with time," he replied simply and I gave a frown to rival his own straight back. He could tell I was serious, the way I felt about my mother was not an area of discussion. To my relief he nodded and produced the other letter which was sealed with purple wax, this he handed to me to read. Afterwards he went to the opposite wall and leaned against it watching my reaction.

He smirked as my eyebrows travelled further and further up my forehead whilst I scanned through the details. A brief summary was that the daimyo having heard the news about the attack on Suna saw fit to engage in a discussion with the new Kazekage about village affairs. I was shocked that Gaara and the leader had not formally introduced themselves to one another. To add further interest the daimyo had heard of an Ambassador from the Leaf making excellent progress in the region. He wanted to meet personally all new arrivals in the country first hand. I wondered where the man had been sleeping this past year and a half.

"He seems a little… out of touch," I kept re-reading the letter over and over to check I hadn't missed anything important.

"Communications between the Hidden Village and the Wind Country leader have always been minimal. The daimyo dislikes confrontation, therefore face to face briefings with the Kazekage do not happen. Hence when my father discovered that his leader had withdrawn further financial backing into the ninja squads of Suna, via letter, he began to make decisions into his own hands."

So much time had passed since the attack on Konohagakure that it seemed like a bad dream. Still, the attack had been a most startling catalyst for change and it was a shame to waste such an open invitation.

I grinned back, "I think meeting with him would be a good opportunity to get Suna's economy running again. I've already thought of a few ways we can generate some revenue and it wouldn't take much investment."

"Is that so?" Gaara gave me a knowing look that suggested I was being naïve. "I have learnt so far that quick decisions and swift action in politics are rare. Rivals opposed to proposals are," he searched for the right word, "annoying. Those in power see change as an enemy sent to dethrone their comfortable lives. Unlike a match against an opponent, the political arena does not have stable outcomes. I may not have the necessary control to discuss matters with such men."

I assumed he was talking about controlling his desire to smother the Wind Country's representative. Part of me could sympathize with the teenager having been thrown headfirst into the adult world myself. Whether the softly spoken Jinchuuriki liked it or not the duties of Kazekage were traditionally handled by an older person with life experience. It was the first time in the Wind's history, that a shinobi leader under twenty years old was responsible for the security of the land. Gaara had to accept that he would get some flack at first!

"I'll take care of the negotiations," I offered uselessly poking at my leg. "You can't ignore the daimyo forever-"

"I will do as I please. It has worked thus far," Gaara grumbled immediately and I stifled a giggle. He looked angry at the thought of meeting with this 'official' and being forced to have a civil discussion. As far as I knew most meetings involved a lot of small talk, drinking, flattery, eating, laughing at jokes that weren't particularly funny and in between this verbal game of musical egos, somewhere a deal was struck. The thought of him being placed in the midst of such social chaos alone, made me flinch.

"How do you know what can be accomplished if you never try?" I asked him. He was becoming defensive again. "Gaara, if you want what's best for the village sometimes you have to work with people rather than…crush them. The Third Hokage always told us that a leader needs to show more than brute strength and power; he needs to show wisdom and patience. You can't expect Suna to be isolated from the other nations forever - it would be unfair on the villagers."

"My focus needs to be on the trial," he said shortly trying to avoid further discussion.

"As an Ambassador of the Leaf, do you trust me?" I tried a different tact and watched as the pale faced ninja blinked considering the question. He was put out because I had switched the conversation in this way. The sand began rustling in the room around us, but I sat up straight and stared back at him awaiting the answer.

"Yes," he said begrudgingly as though accepting defeat in a sparring match. I felt a surge of happiness melt through me as I pressed the letter gently back into his hands. His worried eyes met mine for a few seconds and I tried to smile at him with reassurance.

"If Suna is not only going to survive but _prosper _in the times ahead, I have absolutely no doubt that this meeting must happen! You know that I will support you in any way I can, don't you?"

A strange look crept onto his delicate features. "Meddlesome," he said with a huff.

"Pardon?"

"You're a meddlesome mother hen," he continued now with his face fully upturned glaring frostily at me. "You make decisions on a whim without considering the consequences."

I pulled away from his cold and criticizing gaze to the windowpane. I'd been a fool he'd lured me into a false sense of security before the lecture! Couldn't he just leave me be? I was feeling bad enough without him dumping further guilt into my lap.

"You asked me, why do you hesitate?"

I remembered saying that.

"Have faith in them, _use them_, I believe were your exact words."

And they had been, at the time it felt like the right thing to do. Everyone was so eager to fight and reclaim the village. I thought that we were invincible as if nothing could touch us because…I was being silly. Why would we win? Just because we had the element of surprise it didn't mean that we would succeed. Sitting here listening to Gaara repeat those words they didn't have the same justification. He was right I hadn't thought about what would happen to those people. _Use them,_ it sounded like I was throwing something away in the trash.

"I made a mistake. We're only human," I whispered weakly.

"No," his voice rose and I shrank back on my bed. "I am the Kazekage," he corrected me. I winced expecting further stern words about my foolishness. He sat on the chair next to the bed and hung his head. When he looked up the harsh glare was gone and had become softer as though he was battling with his own guilt. His red hair was limp and unkempt, he looked tired.

"The judgment you made was sound. However it was not your decision to make. You are facing a guilt which should not be yours to bear." I still didn't understand where he was coming from. "Your duty, Ambassador should not be to prompt the Kazekage to take action. As Kage, I am responsible for the security of the village and any deaths or casualties within." I noticed his frown was directed towards my elevated leg.

"My current predicament is my own fault and no one else's," I tried to say benevolently but my lips drew together as flashes of darkness and blue light darted in front of my eyes. I took a sharp breath and wrapped my arms around me. _I should be dead_.

"Are you cold?" He asked, standing immediately to retrieve a blanket.

Poor Yuushi. When Temari had found me unconscious the following morning it was not a pretty sight... I couldn't think. The pieces of what happened escaped me even four days later.

I thought instead about the long list of jobs that needed taking care of in relation to the festival. Again these were quite a burden. I regretted being unable to run around like a headless chicken anymore taking charge but it couldn't be helped. Grandma Rooba and the children would just have to do without Lady Leaf for a while, surely they would understand?

"Oh, that reminds me!" I sat up straight and struggled to reach a pile of cards next to the table. "There was something Toshie wanted me to give you. Now, where could it be? Aha, here we are." I plucked a single purple piece of card from the deck. Gaara's forehead wrinkled as though he could be raising an eyebrow, before taking it from my waggling fingertips.

He examined the picture on the card for a few seconds and squinted at the writing. "She may require additional lessons in drawing with accuracy," he said light dancing in his eyes as he suppressed a bare hint of joy. Gaara's hair in the artwork was over exaggerated and spiky, his stick arms and legs protruded from a triangular red body. I thought using emerald green sweet wrappers for the eyes was a nice touch, and although the picture was crude there was a certain charm about it.

"Who is the Kazza?" He asked taking another glance at the written scrawl.

"I believe Toshie doesn't know the correct spelling for Kazekage. I apologise, she means no disrespect by it I'm sure." I winced on the young girl's behalf, "I'll ask her to correct the spelling the next time she comes in."

"No," Gaara said quite forcefully. I snatched my fingers back alarmed that he might strike me. At this he became troubled. He was still holding the card tentatively as though it was fragile as glass. "You misunderstand my intentions..."

"You would prefer the message to remain exactly as it is?" I enquired.

"To think, the girl wished me dead that day in the garden," he replied softly. "Toshie would interpret such a request as an insult." He secured the card within his coat and settled back into the chair. "I have no desire to change it," he told me. "This is a very precious thing."


	37. A Captive Audience

**Chapter 37**

**A Captive Audience **

Over six weeks later I was finally free of the accursed cast that had held my limb prisoner. Still wobbly on my weakened leg it would be a while before I could rush around completely carefree. It felt good to sit out on the porch in the shade and watch the sunlight beaming down on the flowers. Their pretty heads had blossomed despite Gaara uprooting them and I felt content.

It seemed a lot had happened during my stint in hospital. The civilian prisoners of the Mist village had been tried by a committee. Members of the committee had obviously included Grandma Rooba and Gaara. To ensure fairness and an objective view, evidence was heard by a guest judge from the Land of Lightning. Tsunade allowed Naruto to stay a little longer to represent the Leaf on my behalf. A council member from Iwagakure had travelled especially to Suna for the occasion. But funnily enough the Mizukage declined the invitation to attend the trial at all.

Temari was keeping me company and took a measured sip of tea from her cup. It was particularly hot this afternoon with the heat rising up from the ground. I was losing track of the seasons in this never ending blaze of sunshine that surrounded the desert lands. I remembered first arriving at some point in the spring. Her long lashes flicked open when I released a sigh.

"Yaz," she said with a critical tone. "However cruel it may seem death simplifies everything. Think about it, Suna can't do right for doing wrong in this situation. Even the people are divided. We've got demands for immediate retribution on one side and pacifists on the other."

"Yeah," I understood perfectly what she was saying. "It's just unfair that's all."

"What is?" Temari smirked with intrigue and came a little closer.

"In the end a verdict was declared - that the Mist civilians were guilty, right? We all knew that, we didn't need some judge from Kumogakure to confirm it. He was supposed to help the Kage decide on a punishment not throw it back at him, like some hot potato!"

Temari raised a blond eyebrow and continued to smile. There were times when I looked at the Kazekage's sister and wished that I possessed some of that inner confidence. Without the scowls and sarcastic comments designed exclusively to intimidate, Temari was actually 'ok' maybe even close to normal. I'd also noticed that she was incredibly beautiful when she was open.

"There were only ever two options available: if they're executed their wives and children grieve for their passing. If we set them free they'll be killed anyway for their failure. Not even the judge could be certain that the Mizukage would allow the men to return to their families in peace. But the judge did discuss that with Gaara, you know." She placed the cup back onto the tray, "That's probably why he wants to take the daimyo up on his offer. It'll give him some space to think things through and make a decision."

I nodded gently, "Hope so, I think a decision like that would be enough to drive me crazy!"

The eyes became sly slits as she leaned forward and whispered, "That's why you're _not _the Kage."

As I pulled a tongue the coach from Konoha finally arrived. It was made from beech wood, not too grand but enough to get someone from A to B. To be honest I was glad that Master Homura had taken heed of my letter and attempted to send an inconspicuous transport. I felt the two magnificent chocolate brown mustangs were perhaps a little overkill. The driver waved and I suddenly realised, it was Torao.

"Hello there Ambassador, you weren't held to ransom then?" He laughed with friendly cheer I couldn't help but grin back.

"No, not this time, it's good to see you well. How are things at home?"

"Same old, same old," he jumped down from the coach. As he made his way towards me his wobbly belly jiggled and shook. "I was asked to pass these onto you."

I looked at the letter and immediately recognised Naoki's disjointed writing. The package Tarao presented was wrapped securely in brown paper and labelled with my mother's precise and refined hand. I took the letter and dumped the box onto the porch as I made my way towards the transport. Temari looked from the package and back to me.

"Hey!" she called out. "Aren't you even going to open it?" I didn't answer and heaved myself inside the dim cabin. As the door slammed shut and Torao gave a cry to the horses, I felt the carriage lurch forward and then I was away.

The interior decor of the carriage was burgundy velvet with cushions placed neatly in a row. The two small windows either side allowed a little light and air to enter, although in the hot climate more of both might have been welcome. The door handles and window hinges were brass and polished to a high shine. An ugly carving of a lion's head was centred on the wall nearest to the driver. Its large hollow eyes were disturbing to look at. The sculpture's mane was jagged and painted black, with the face highlighted with a violent blood red. The jaws of the beast were wide open showing a hungry set of sharp teeth. I wasn't sure whether to sit under the lion so as to avoid staring at it for the journey or to put up with it!

We paused just outside the Ivory Tower for a few moments. I tore at the top of the envelope in short jagged rips with my thumb until the contents were released. Naoki had been busy training hard at the ninja academy. He talked about his sensei, a man known as Iruka and the forthcoming final exams. I knew full well it was too soon for Naoki to attend, but that probably wouldn't curb his enthusiasm for going on about it!

He'd written about the changing colours of the autumn trees in Konoha. It was pleasant to be reminded about the more normal aspects of life in the Leaf village. Naoki then went on to a thorny subject: mother. He asked if I might find it in me to forgive her. The following questions centred on why I had ignored her letters and refused to respond. He felt that mother had seen the error of her ways and was desperate to make contact. He said that she had literally turned over a new leaf and was trying to change for the better. She was supportive of Naoki's ambitions to become a ninja and no longer obsessed about her reputation. Life in the family home was much more relaxed and calm, he said.

I folded the letter back together and tucked the envelope inside my robes. There was a warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart combined with a lump in my throat. I wasn't quite sure what this conflict in feelings was trying to tell me. I wanted to believe what he had written. There was however a nagging sense of doubt that mother was simply using Naoki to get to me. What she had said was unforgivable. I had seen the menace and hate in her eyes when I accused her of the affair. The fact that she couldn't tell the truth even when found out; the way that she had twisted everything around to make it my fault. I couldn't just accept that she would change so quickly and wish to be reconciled. And anyway I couldn't return home just yet there was the festival to consider. There was nowhere for me to live back in Konoha as mother's house was out of the question. What exactly could I do even if I did go back?

_I wish I'd brought that package_, the thought stabbed at me.

The door suddenly opened and Gaara stepped inside dressed in full Kazekage attire. I could see faintly that the length of the long flowing white robes had been altered by a skilled seamstress. His thin body however was lost in the tent of material, which only served to further emphasise that he was an adolescent rather than a man. He was carrying a large white hat trimmed with green. I nodded my head in a greeting, but as he sat down he didn't say a word.

It felt strange to leave Sunagakure behind and travel towards the more habitable parts of the Wind Country. The village where the daimyo resided was due south of Suna nestled next to a shipping port. To the east separated only by the Great Sea was the Tea Country. This was the furthest I'd ever been away from home. I didn't know if this was Gaara's first time in the region, he wasn't interested in any of the facts and figures that Shiro had researched for me.

In my head I began rehearsing an opening conversation with the daimyo – it was going to be difficult. I could just see his face when presented with two teenagers; one, the Kazekage of his hidden village and the other an ambassador of an allied country. What if the guards didn't believe us and refused entry?

"I placed you in a difficult position with your own Hokage."

Because he was so quiet I had briefly forgotten that Gaara was there.I sat up straight and saw how sad and distant his eyes were gazing out the coach window.

"Well, she's not exactly happy about the situation; I used a jutsu that was forbidden and my safety after the attempted assassination has been put into question – again."

It seemed a long time ago when Temari was attacked by the swordsman but I could still recall how terrified I'd felt. Knowing that someone was out there with the sole intention of taking your life was not something that could be laughed off. To me, I was still Yasu – an ordinary person. In reality I was the Ambassador of Konohgakure, and despite my personal beliefs that I had very little importance or power, there were those that disagreed. The assassins saw my death as a way of gaining attention and scoring points. It was still difficult for me not to take this personally.

"Have you remembered anything about your attacker?" He closed his eyes so they became two complete black spots.

"I know who I _don't _want it to be," my hands came together protectively.

"You refuse to say his name, even now?"

I scowled. I'd been looking forward to a contemplative trip with my taciturn companion; of all the times to strike up a conversation, and of all the things to talk about, why did he have to pick on this?

"Saying his name is bad luck," I said tartly.

"Nonsense," the Kazekage immediately dismissed my argument. I sighed, why would anyone bother to assassinate me when even the Kage thinks I'm an idiot? At this point an adult would probably turn around and say, you can't talk to me like that. I just couldn't take myself that seriously and yet I knew that I should be.

"You don't understand..." my voice lowered. "If it _was_ him I wish that I could just smash his head open, and stomp on his glasses like a ninja should be able to. I think about what he did to Matron Shun and it fills me with anger. I can't help how I react, he toys with people."

"More excuses for a lack of ability to suppress emotions."

I held my tongue – just. We were about to descend upon a group of officials to try and negotiate plans for additional commerce and financial backing. It would do no good to be arguing amongst ourselves. I kept telling myself this over and over but it wasn't helping. I took the long sleeve of my emerald green dress and wrapped it in my fingers. Crushing and squeezing the soft fabric brought a little relief. I decided it was better not to answer back and concentrate instead on what I was going to say to the daimyo when the opportunity arrived.

"Have you considered a course of meditation to control your emotions?" he asked softly.

_Why are you pushing me?_ I thought dully and began to pull and twist the other sleeve of my dress.

The coach had suddenly become a lot smaller. As the question lingered between us I tried to simply pretend that we hadn't spoken. But Gaara was waiting, and if there was one thing I knew that the Kazekage was good at, it was waiting. After all he stayed up every night watching the moon, waiting for the sunrise to come.

I pretended to read my notes, stared at the lion on the opposite wall, looked out the window, played with the hem of my dress and he was still waiting. What was maddening throughout was the evil smirk creeping across his face. He knew I hated long silences more than anything - it made me uncomfortable. I was beginning to resent being cooped up in here with the only escape being an undignified leap from the coach door.

"I've told you before I can't just switch off and become a killing machine," I growled.

He wrongly took this an as invitation to continue the conversation. "As a nurse in an emergency situation, surrounded by blood and death, you were able to continue your duties without pause?"

"If you can't perform under pressure patients die. They rely on you to keep control and take care of them in their most vulnerable state. You can't just freeze up!"

"I see," he said deliberately and I was aware of the full focus of his attention on me as he made the next point. "Strange, how you separate your ninja training and nurse role so easily when they have many similarities. To freeze at a crucial moment and a patient could die. To freeze in battle and your own life could end. Surely, the pose and calm that you employ on a ward could be transferred to the field?"

"Not with _that man_," I hissed, refusing to make eye contact.

"You speak of Yakushi as though he is a phantom, impervious to attack, yet you have seen him bleed and come to harm."

With an exasperated huff I turned away, "I can't explain why I act the way I do." I tried to think logically, come up with a reason that would silence him. "It's like he gets into my head and then I can't do anything about it!" The smirk was still there and I realised that I was losing the debate. "Look, I'd rather not discuss this anymore."

But he chose to ignore my warnings, "Yakushi is a deceptive ninja that preys upon emotion. His ability to manipulate collated data to his advantage is quite disturbing."

"Shouldn't we think of ways to persuade the daimyo to help Suna?"

"Despite all this," he continued with determination. "He is only able to direct such tactics against those who think too deeply about his words."

"You mean people like me," I accused him.

"If you do not face the truth Ambassador Katashi, the Sound ninja will be the death of you."

"Good, one less hassle for you to worry about!" I said with a mordant air before regaining my wits. I clamped my mouth shut and wished the ground would swallow me whole. _Oh God, why did I say that?_ We remained in silence my stormy blue eyes concealing a look that could kill by directing it towards the outside world.

As we came to the last leg of the journey I began to feel angry at myself for taking part in such immature antics. What a stupid throw away comment to make and all because I'd lost my temper. I'd forgotten my place and probably just offended one of Konoha's most powerful allies. Again, I wondered why Master Homura felt that I could do this job well!

"That was rude and unnecessary, I apologise." I bowed my head out of respect, trying to glean any sense of pride that I had left.

Gaara's head turned, "at the hospital you encouraged me to share my problems and to ask for help." He looked thoughtfully at me for a moment before asking, "Can you not follow your own advice?"

My eyes narrowed, "I thought you were criticising me again for being weak."

"I was," he confirmed plainly and my nose screwed up.

"That isn't helpful..." I replied shortly.

"Pointing out the truth is not helpful?"

I could feel a ridiculous laugh threatening to burst from me as I realised his question was a genuine one. His green eyes were wide with innocence, it was the first time I knew that he wasn't deliberately trying to wind me up.

"Sometimes when you tell the truth so bluntly it can hurt my feelings," I tried to explain. "There are different ways to tell the truth and for _some_ people being straight and direct is definitely the best option. I'm not saying don't be honest; but if there's something I need to address or think about calling me weak is not going to achieve the desired effect!"

"I don't understand." Gaara frowned crossing his arms.

"Okay," I smiled. "There was a story my father used to..." I stopped for a moment hit by a rush of sadness. "Erm," I faltered. Many times I had shared with Gaara the stories that father told me when I was very young. It usually brought such happiness when I could pass on his wisdom by word of mouth. There was something very special about recalling a tale without reading from a dusty piece of parchment.

"Go on," he pressed. The Kage had developed a taste for folktales, taking them in, understanding what they meant. I had never seen anyone so hungry to hear foreign stories from other lands. For someone as serious and sober as he, I found myself quite bewildered. I couldn't understand why Gaara gave the same intense attention to these flights of fantasy, as he did to his own training. There were times when he looked almost afraid that a single lack of focus may result in missing something of great value. But he was an intelligent person - not that I would ever say that much in public. Surely he knew that these riddles, myths and fables were just a bit of fun?

"The Sun and the Wind were looking down at the world below." I began pointing out the coach towards the blue sky. "One day they saw a man wearing a heavy fur trimmed cloak walking through the fields. The Wind made a bet with the Sun that he could make the man remove his cloak first. The Sun agreed and watched as the Wind began to blow a chilly breeze. The man shivered and buttoned up his robe securely. The Wind blew harder and the man walked faster. The Wind blew harder still and the man pulled the cloak more tightly around him. The Wind continued to blow more and more fiercely but the man refused to remove his cloak. Eventually the Wind ran out of breath and defeated went back to the Sun.

The Wind grumbled saying that the man would never remove his cloak. The Sun however came out of the clouds and shone down on the man. At first the man looked cautiously at the sky and then continued walking. As time passed on however the Sun's rays became too warm and he removed the cloak. The Sun returned to the Wind who was struck with awe. When the Wind asked how he managed the task, the Sun simply reminded him that kindness effects more than severity."

When I had finished Gaara reflected on the story. His forehead furrowed in wrinkles of concentration. After a short while he spoke, "To use force – severity, when unnecessary will impede progress. Alternative ways will achieve the same goal by using less aggressive means. Is this a correct interpretation of the moral?"

"You've got it." I clapped and then immediately stopped due to his disapproving glare. He began staring at me strangely before a shriek came from the window. In alarm I spun around, outside a sea of white wings took flight.

"Weclome to Minatomachi!" Tarao's voice called from above us.


	38. Honoured Guests

Author's note - this has been a while coming, sorry about the wait! Allybee x

**Chapter 38**

**Honoured Guests**

The scare from the seagulls gave me quite a start. In annoyance I held onto my heart, waiting for the painful beating to subside. Gaara's glare suggested he found the incident none too amusing. It didn't help that Tarao was laughing uncontrollably, as I gave an embarrassed, squirm of a smile to some fishermen who were hoisting the sails of their boats.

"Never seen a gull before?" one of the men cried out. His naked torso was shining with sweat from the sun. He flexed his bronze arms and secured the white bandana around his head which had begun to slip to one side.

"Yes, just not so many!" I admitted watching a single bird strutting along the wooden boards. Its proud white head was held high on the lookout for scraps of gutted fish. Once the gull had secured a tasty morsel I watched with fascination as the silver flesh was tossed into the air and gobbled up whole. The pure white wings flapped as the greedy gull's meal slid straight down its throat. It stared back at me and squawked as though angry with my intrusion before flying away. I tilted my head wondering what it might be like to be so carefree, to have the luxury of being rude to people and to do as you pleased. After offending all manner of officials to be able to take to the skies to escape the penalty, how marvellous it must be!

I continued to keep my head out the window as we ventured on, tasting the salty sea air on my lips. There was an overpowering stench of masago at this end of the port I noticed. There were many aquatic delights that dotted the seafront including: kani, slippery ika and much sought after tako. Life was bustling in this very popular town as the residents went about their daily business. I still couldn't believe such a place existed in the Wind Country.

"Don't you want to see any of this?" I enquired to my travelling companion who was still quite fixed in the same position as when I left him.

"No." Came the solid reply and I shrugged my shoulders in a way that suggested it was certainly his own loss.

Along the way I spotted many statues of Ebisu carved out in stone facing out to sea. He looked cheerful enough with his smart beard and happy smile. The poor fish he had tucked under his left arm however was a different story! Ebisu had been considered a patron of fishermen since the olden days. He favoured fishermen with a good catch if they were lucky. He also ensured safe journeys for all seafarers since he himself arrived into the world from the sea. I thought I recalled mother telling me something about how he was also a guardian of rice fields in the country. Sadly this was mingled in a fog of faded memories that I couldn't quite pull together. Not that it mattered I tried to comfort myself, but secretly I knew that I would try to remember the annoying details for the rest of the day!

We moved on, away from the fishing boats into the centre of Minatomachi. Here the scenery changed, the buildings becoming taller and more pronounced. People of wealth took leisurely strolls rather than dashing from place to place. It was here that the coach came to a final stop and Torao leapt from his seat to open the door. As I carefully stepped out ensuring not to trip I was met by a great golden statue. This was certainly not Ebisu, on the plague shining silver words read: Yori Quanto, honourable daimyo. I looked down at the photograph in my hand and back up at the smiling face and squinting eyes. It wasn't a bad likeness at all - the craftsman who painstakingly manipulated the gold into shape was a genius. To my left I snuck a peek at Gaara studying a similar statue. His face held a chary look of distrust. He hadn't even met the daimyo in person and was already making judgements about him!

"Do you think he's a reasonable man?" I asked seriously.

"He's a politician," Gaara's focus didn't leave the daimyo's golden features. "If what you say is agreeable with his agenda he will be most reasonable."

"You're far too sceptical."

"I believe realistic is the term you require, Ambassador." His brow wrinkled.

"Do you always have to have the last word?"

Gaara didn't reply and placed a sturdy foot onto the first marble step. My heart sank, there were at least five hundred steps leading to the entrance. From the foot of this colossal mountain I couldn't even see the top! I didn't try to disguise my groan of disbelief, "How the hell am I supposed to get up there?"

I could see the Kage's crimson cloak flapping and twisting behind him as he continued his ascent without a sound. It was only when he was a quarter of the way up that I suddenly realised - he was _not_ going to wait for me. I winced and began the uncomfortable journey up the stairway of torture. Don't get me wrong here, the daimyo is an important man and probably thoroughly deserves a palace and all the trimmings. But why do important people always have to build such steep stairways?

When the first flight was successfully navigated I felt that I could actually manage without assistance. By the next set however my Achilles tendon was burning and it was becoming increasingly awkward to lift my protesting leg. The medic nin had warned me not to overdo it, but what choice did I have? I forced my aching limb to move and instantly regretted it. The foot shook uncontrollably and before I had a chance to sit down, it gave way. I could feel my body tilting, slipping sideways with no way to stop it. Automatically my hand flew out to stop my fall but it smacked down onto the hard surface. My knees crunched onto the narrow ledge - what followed, was pain nothing short of excruciating. I knelt there for a few moments controlling an internal scream of agony. It was a strange sensation, I remembered as a child falling over, grazing my knee and bawling for hours. As you got older there was an expectation to simply 'deal with it' despite the watery gleam in your vision and the throbbing sting of your damaged body. I breathed slowly before finally sitting up, balanced precariously on the steps.

I looked up wondering if the Kazekage would at least show a diminutive hint of concern. Gaara hadn't even noticed and continued his own path towards the large arched doorway at the top. I massaged my temples in frustration, how could he just leave me here? I couldn't believe that he was so self-centred to just abandon me and walk straight into the daimyo's palace. There was nothing for it, I had to use my jutsu otherwise I would be late for the appointment. I clapped my hands together and prepared to make a hand sign.

"Do you wish to further test the patience of your Hokage, by use of forbidden jutsu in a public place?"

"Oh!" I gave a squeak of surprise when greeted by the serious look of the Kage. He'd somehow managed to descend to my position in a matter of seconds. "My ankle's not right yet, how else am I supposed to get up there?"

A familiar rumble came from his throat- he always seemed to do this when considering a problem.

"I guess a piggy back is out of the question?" I joked trying to lighten the atmosphere. His shining eyes widened at the suggestion before narrowing again. In the back of my mind I wondered if he was considering kicking me over the edge.

"Remain still," he commanded before raising upturned arms into the air. There was a rustle of sand beginning to spread around us. I watched curiously as the grains gathered underneath me and then felt my body rising into the air. Gaara was standing on a platform of the same construction and just as a jet of water may spurt upwards from a fountain, the sand began to move in a similar fashion. It must have been quite the spectacle for onlookers. The Kazekage of Suna standing straight and tall commanding the sand to his bidding. My hands became claws trying to get a grip on the sand as we began to move higher and higher.

The entrance slowly came into view a beautiful arch encrusted with creamy pearls, jade and mother of pearl. A script had been written across the arch in gold leaf signifying the kanji of Wind. Six columns supported the almighty entrance these were built with abalone, iridescent hues of green, blue and pink glistened in the light.

"Thank you for the lift," I said brightly as we stepped away from the suspended platforms. The sand disappeared back into his gourd while I stood taking in the full splendour of the architecture, "Quite impressive, eh?"

He glanced briefly at the arch, "Unnecessary profligacy," he replied obviously not impressed by rich furnishings and fancy decor. I guessed that creating the daimyo's palace had been an expensive job – and Gaara had a point, perhaps it was unnecessary. For example the Hokage Residence back in Konoha was not adorned with jewels but it was still designed to stand out. That distinctive red building with white spires on the roof couldn't exactly be missed!

As we entered the building there wasn't a soul about which I thought was rather strange. Surely most daimyo were not so lacks about security that they would let anyone stroll in? I stayed near to Gaara keeping my ears open but he seemed unconcerned. There were dozens of mysterious corridors leading off in all directions. I'd heard that the daimyo had separate buildings for storage of weapons and artefacts. Each building was rumoured to be just as grand and ornate as the palace entrance. His private living quarters spanned three floors and were off limits to anyone except the chosen few and his family.

Since the outbreak of war between Sunagakure and Konohagakure the Wind country's leader had kept his head down. I realised that this may have been due to the deceased Kazekage's decision to take action without permission. It didn't exactly help that Orochimaru had been thrown into the mix with the Sound's ambition to overthrow the third Hokage. I wondered how he might react to such a conversation at the meeting it was bound to come up at some point.

Suddenly I became aware of something scuttling about in the darkness. Two beady yellow eyes were spying on us and whenever I stopped to pinpoint its location it was gone. We came upon a large set of steel doors but yet again there was no one around to direct us.

"I guess we knock then..." I muttered before rapping three times. Nothing happened for a good five minutes and I began to wonder if the daimyo's invitation had been forgotten. "Maybe they were expecting us on different date?" I tried to double check with the Kage.

He shook his head, "There has been no error this is the correct date and time."

'_Okay,' _I thought to myself. _'But we're still stuck out here with no way to get in!'_

Just then a groan of metal came from the left hand wall as a panel swung open. A tall man with short ginger hair stepped out and waved. "Welcome, honoured guests!" He gushed, "Please let me introduce myself! I am Sakan Daisure the Wind Country's Ambassador." He held out an eager hand which Gaara examined and promptly ignored. Daisure's smile faltered for a moment and he drew his hand back in embarrassment. He took a handkerchief and wiped it across his forehead. This was quickly tucked away into the breast pocket of his chequered red and yellow waistcoat.

I immediately felt sorry for Sakan, knowing how difficult it was to break the ice with strangers. I remembered with such clarity how my own feeble attempts to open dialogue with the sand siblings had failed miserably. He didn't understand that Gaara was standoffish with everyone, even those whom he knew well.

"Thank you Ambassador Sakan, you must forgive the Kazekage it has been a long journey. My name is Yasu Katashi, pleased to meet you." I grasped his hand in a firm handshake which appeared to be gratefully received. "I'm a representative from the Leaf village accompanying Lord Gaara."

"Excellent, excellent, this way please, follow me." He gestured towards the wall panel that he had just come through.

"But..." I glanced back at the huge steel doors with confusion, "Shouldn't we go through..."

"All for show I'm afraid. A trick to fool would be assassins – quite ingenious I might add, although a trifle overzealous!"

It didn't take long for Daisure to regain his friendly demeanour as he showed us the way towards the conference room. As we walked I soon learnt that Mr Sakan was also the minister for tourism in the town. He went to great lengths to sell the positive aspects of the Wind Country to anyone who would listen. It was easy to see that he really loved his job as he continued to talk about it for quite some time.

"I do hope that I have not displeased the Kage with my forward greeting," he confided to me.

I smiled sympathetically, "Of course not, Ambassador." He breathed a sigh of relief before continuing to glance over at the ninja a few steps behind us.

"Forgive me, but is he always this... unapproachable?"

I was determined to remain professional no matter how friendly the man might appear. Due to this I refrained from smirking and looked him directly in the eye. "Lord Gaara is not here to make friends." I pointed out honestly. "He wishes to serve and protect his people. That's why he has agreed to come."

"I understand," he nodded. "I'll try to ensure that all discussions on the agenda today will be kept short and to the point." He frowned a little before admitting, "It may be difficult to control the other council members however. They do have a tendency to babble and as for...oh dear."

I tilted my head trying to work out the cryptic message behind his words. What exactly was the Ambassador trying to say? Before I had the opportunity to probe further we had finally arrived at our true destination. Sakan led us passed an armed guard of soldiers by flashing a talisman of some kind. Two sliding doors were prised open and he went inside. As I automatically went to follow him I suddenly stopped and remembered an important rule about official engagements.

"After you, Lord Kazekage," I bowed slightly and then stepped back to allow Gaara room. There was a momentary pause but it was enough to show he was surprised. So far I'd taken the lead and tried to keep things running smoothly. Despite this, out the two of us, _he_ was the most important guest. It would be extremely disrespectful for a person in my position to enter before the Wind Shadow of Suna. I wasn't sure whether he appreciated this gesture or if he thought I was being my usual 'over polite' self. I knew however, that first impressions really did count. No matter how much I might hate pomp and ceremony, there was nevertheless an unspoken set of rules that had to be obeyed. Failure to acknowledge the rank and file of authority would only end in ridicule for the poor person on the receiving end, and I most certainly did not want that to be Gaara.

The young Kage made his entrance and I made sure to wait a few moments before joining Daisure and the daimyo. I tried in vain to smooth the creases in my dress and dust off the scuff marks from my fall. A glance in the shiny marble floor showed my hair was slightly dishevelled due to the sea winds. _Great, Gaara looks immaculate and I'm a mess!_

"Miss Katashi?" I heard the Ambassador coo. Snapping back to attention I pulled my shoulders back and stood tall before walking gracefully as possible into whatever awaited me on the other side.

The heels of my sandals became muffled by a soft carpet that stretched out across the length of the room. It was a lot warmer this far into the palace than the cold and echoing corridors that I had just left behind. This was an area designed for the comfort of guests and for entertaining. As I took a look at my surroundings I realised that the room had seven walls. Seven I knew was a very lucky number, and it made sense to build the foundations of a base within that tradition. In front of me there was a table the shape of a regular heptagon with black marble top. Gaara was already seated next to the only female member of the council; a woman with the scrawniest neck I had ever seen. Opposite to her was Ambassador Sakan and to his right a large man with a black moustache that twitched manically underneath his button nose. The Daimyo was seated at the head of the table with an empty chair but then again there was also a chair directly in front of me. I wasn't quite sure which one I should take.

The decision was made for me as something brown and furry brushed past my leg. Before I had the chance to identify whatever _it_ was it had sat down next to Yori Quanto! I tried not to stare at the creature however this was simply too unusual to ignore. Sitting in pride of place was a brown furred rat! This rat was nearly thirty centimetres tall and wore a ninja headband across its forehead. It began whispering something into the daimyo's ear. He began chuckling and then gestured towards the final empty chair towards the head of the table.

"You'll have to forgive Nezumi" the leader gestured towards the rodent. "He's my head of security at the palace. He does not intend to make guests feel unwelcome but must complete his regular checks before allowing me to have an audience. Please take a seat and let's begin shall we?"

I nodded half heartedly and took my seat, trying very hard not to continue staring at the rat. Sakan took a large scroll of parchment and unrolled it carefully onto the table. He swallowed before reading the contents in a formal tone. "The first item on the agenda is in regards to the current whereabouts of the Yondaime Kazekage, would you care to comment?"

Daisure looked nervously at Gaara who glared back at him before turning his attention to the daimyo. Gaara went on to explain just as emotionless as before how his father had been murdered by Orochimaru.

The Wind Country leader listened attentively throughout the young Kage's explanation and at the end shook his head miserably. "That is most unfortunate," he sighed. "Your father was a great man and a loyal servant to the Wind Country."

Gaara did not acknowledge this compliment and remained silent. I thought the daimyo's comments were odd considering the true events. Gaara's father may have been a great man but he had been a cruel one too. It was he who had asked for the one-tailed Shukaku to be sealed into his unborn son. He'd also gone to war to teach the daimyo a lesson because he was holding back resources and missions. Were these the actions of a man who was completely loyal?

"And now here we have his own son, Sabaku no Gaara as the new Kazekage. I extend my personal congratulations to you and of course my most high expectations."

"Expectations?" Gaara enquired his guard up immediately.

"Well, is it not the duty of every son to surpass their father? I have already heard how remarkable your powers are, you have certainly earned a considerable name for yourself. However power alone is not enough to be a successful leader-"

"A leader needs to show more than brute strength and power; he must show wisdom and patience."

I blinked. The feudal lord sat back in his chair with a grin spreading across his face, "So very true." Now he came nearer to the whole group his fingers tips clasped together as though in meditation. "Allow me to pass on the wisdom of my years in office and guide you, young Kazekage. Together we shall ensure that the Wind County remains strong and is admired by all nations."

"I assume Sunagakure is included within that statement?" Gaara's eyes looked cold and unyielding. "It is within the equality between a Country and its Hidden Village that strength is maintained."

The daimyo sniffed and reset the amethyst coloured eboshi atop his head. "You forget that this is a time of peace Kazekage. The Wind Country only provides a stable place of residence so long as the economy is maintained."

"There are those that exist to disturb the peace my Lord. It is not a secret that should a problem occur it will be Suna's military assistance which shall be called upon. However a village cannot operate without continued financial support. There are enough ninja squads but too few missions that have been designated to us."

"Sunakagure has enough to survive and Konohagakure's services are less expensive. To spilt funds and resources further between two places would not be prudent during this time, I'm sure that you understand."

I was beginning to see why the Yondaime Kazekage had preferred to communicate by the written word with this guy! Gaara didn't seem willing to accept the daimyo's final word, but appeared stuck with how to continue the conversation without sounding argumentative. He crossed his arms and sat back trying to rethink his strategy. There was an easy way to solve this problem and it was currently sitting in the inner pocket of my robes. All I needed was a signal from Gaara to proceed...there was nothing. He was trying to find an alternative way on his own – again.

I gave a short but loud cough, "Lord Kazekage, perhaps this may be the opportune time to relay the proposal that we discussed?" He looked back at me strangely as if realising that there was someone else on his side here.

His arms uncrossed, "I believe so, Ambassador Katashi."

Six pairs of eyes were now entirely focused on me. This was it, the opening that I'd been waiting for and I only had one chance. _I better not mess this up!_


	39. The Fine Art of Negotiation

**Chapter 39 – The Fine Art of Negotiation. **

It's funny sometimes when you want everyone's attention, and when you finally get it you'd rather they were looking elsewhere. Laughing when nervous was still a highly, unprofessional habit that I hadn't managed to shake off. Ambassador I may be, but well versed in public speaking – no! I shook my head trying to refocus and remember the little speech I had practised in the coach. Alas as always when adrenaline was pumping through me I had forgotten everything. This was bad timing.

I began to retrieve the trading contract from the inner folds of my outer robe when suddenly I was pounced on by the rat. The flash of brown fur shot across the table at lightning speed and pushed me so hard, that my chair tilted dangerously backwards.

"What is the meaning of this?" Nezumi's yellow teeth snapped in my face. The smell of cheese breath was putrid. His claws were pinned against my chest with surprising strength. I looked back at the small creature with astonishment.

"I demand to see the weapon you have concealed!" He roared. Again I was at a loss, how do you respond to a situation like this? It wasn't exactly normal behaviour!

"Erm, if you allow me to remove the offending item I can show you, Mr Nezumi..." My throat was jerked back at a funny angle so my voice was gurgling.

"That's Mr Raigo to you! We ain't on first name terms, sweetheart." His accusing eyeballs were boring into my own.

"Right," I wheezed. "Still, if it's all the same I would like to breathe, Mr _Raigo_." Whiskers tickled my face as the rodent withdrew and sat down heavily on my stomach. He was reluctant to release me completely before examining the suspicious object. My hands were shaking as I finally released my now crumpled paperwork. The tiny paws snatched the scroll away.

"So, what's the deal?" He sniffed at the paper before tasting the ink with his tongue.

"Ahem," I coughed again trying to get back on track. "That's the terms and conditions of a trade agreement between the Kazekage, Daimyo and a free lance mining company. The idea was for Sunagakure to generate additional funding via the trade of white sand from the desert region to glass makers in other countries. Apparently this was a stable source of income in the past."

"Get your mits off that!" The woman sitting next to Gaara spoke up suddenly, "Give it here."

I was surprised when the rodent did as instructed. As he retook his position he glared at me evilly, "Don't bother trying any more funny business, kiddo. I ain't in the mood _today_ or any _other day_, so do yourself a favour and be nothin but peaceable."

I was under the impression that my ability to be a law abiding citizen was being questioned. Peaceable, just what did the rat mean by that anyway? He was the one who jumped on me! Once my chair was in a secure and upright position, I smiled back pleasantly at everyone. I was beginning to learn that if weird things happened I had to let it go and carry on as if nothing had happened.

I turned my attention to the lady who was currently scrutinizing the contract. She was wearing several layers of clothing so that her arms and shoulders were puffed out. It wasn't particularly cold in the room as far as I could tell. Matron Shun had used a term for people like this she used to call them coldly oldies; people who in the height of summer would still insist on wearing a woollen scarf to avoid catching a chill in the breeze.

"This is Osamu Kozato, our financial adviser." Daisure introduced us but she didn't bother to look up and acknowledge me. Her pupils darted from side to side as she read the script. A pair of brown rimmed spectacles swung from a red cord around her neck, and these were swiftly scooped up to inspect the fine print. She looked in her thirties, but I couldn't really be sure and anyway - it was rude to ask a lady her age. A chorus of hums came from behind the rustling paper. I was very glad to have taken the time to research things properly. Temari's insistence about following the strict guidelines (despite their often frustrating clauses) was well worth the effort. For once I was fairly confident that at least this aspect of the meeting would go without a hitch.

"Acceptable," she finally said to me. "I'm pleased to see that you have followed the new legislation about profit margins, although do you not believe ten percent for the upkeep of staffing and equipment is over the top?"

"I know Tarao and his men personally; they've worked in the terrain before and it's not easy. Grains can clog up the mechanisms no matter how careful you are and there is always the threat of getting caught up in sand storms. I think ten percent is reasonable enough they work hard and deserve a good wage."

She peered down her spectacles, "You may have a keen eye for the paper work but you're too soft to make a good business manager."

"So long as Sunagakure can gain something from the arrangement that's all that matters, any revenue generated will help keep the village self sufficient. It takes the pressure off the rest of the country during peace time." I tried to back up my case giving as many solid reasons as possible. Osamu nodded and stood from the table. She walked briskly to the feudal lord and presented him with the document.

I remembered the daimyo's striking portrait hung in the guest room back in Suna. He had looked proud and healthy; his clothes luxurious and in pristine condition with a fine head of jet black hair. His moustache and trimmed beard were in the same style as his ancestors and powerful fore-fathers before him. I looked at the man presently sitting at the head of the table and it made me feel sad. Yori Quanto had seen better years, that much was evident from the premature wrinkles and dark patches underneath his eyes. His moustache was unkempt and beginning to grey and underneath the eboshi erratic strands of black were escaping. They sprouted out so that it looked like the lord's hat was resting on several pairs of black, spidery legs.

"Yes," he remarked absently. "All looks to be in order I shall sign at the next available opportunity." He picked up a small cup from the table and began to examine it.

"Surely, that would be now, my Lord?" Osamu pressed gently taking care to lower her voice.

The man growled back at her, "I will sign my dear, when I am ready to sign and that is all you need concern yourself with." At this Miss Kazato was overtly disgruntled and returned to her seat. The daimyo was not bothered in the slightest and clapped twice, "Come, I expect that the Kage and his companion are in need of refreshments!" He clapped again, "Food and wine – you cannot make serious decisions on an empty stomach."

Within minutes a great number of gold platters had been planted onto the table. I was amazed at the sheer variety of the delicacies on offer; the Sand Dango I knew to be a regional speciality of the Land of Wind. There were five dumplings stacked on top of each other with a drizzling of some kind of brown sauce. They were made with soy flour, prepared especially to resemble sand. Apparently they tasted very good although I had never tried one. Daisure very kindly identified the other specialities for me which included Rock Rice Cakes which had a particular crispy texture. These were originally from the Land of Earth and were very popular here.

"This is Mist Mitsumame Beans from the Land of Water," he pointed towards the steaming plate with a chopstick. "You must be sure to try a little of everything ambassador they are all quite delightful."

I admired the soups, sweets, meats and other pastries but my appetite was nonexistent. I was nervous because the daimyo hadn't signed the contract yet, and I couldn't help thinking that I'd just been snubbed. Gaara ate only duck gizzard which didn't appeal to me and I had to look elsewhere. I knew it was rude not to try and eat something, so I decided to play safe and took a dango dumpling. It was sweeter than I expected which pleased my sweet tooth and I helped myself to another.

My ears picked up to the sound of the daimyo and the larger gentleman that I had spotted as I entered the room. They seemed to be locked in an intense conversation which I found intriguing.

"Mr Sakan," I whispered. "Who is the man by the Lord Yori?"

Daisure wiped his lips with a napkin before smiling, "An old acquaintance, Michio Hogosha. They've known each other for years even before Lord Yori became daimyo of our land. They went to school together and trained for a career in politics, quite competitive even now!"

"What does he do?"

"He plays a small part in things, acting as a mayor I suppose. Takes charge of policies relating to agriculture for example or settling minor disputes in the town. I must admit I'd be quite lost without him sharing the burden."

"Burden..." At this the man's face darkened again just as before. There was something else going on here I could feel it, and whatever it was the daimyo was at the centre. None of his advisors were keen to upset him. They acted like they were walking on egg shells.

"What say you, Ambassador Katashi?" A cheerful voice rang across the table.

I lay my chopsticks side by side, "I'm sorry, would you mind repeating the question?"

At this both men laughed loudly, "The riddle of course! I'd heard people from the Land of Fire were supposed to have a sharp wit." It was Michio who was speaking, "Now stop teasing us all and put us out of our misery. I have something. When you look at it, it's there, but when you look for it, it's not. What is it?" He sat back confident in the challenge he had set.

Riddles? I certainly didn't expect to be thinking about such childish things in a formal setting. This surprised me, was it custom for games and mental tricks to be played? I expected to be flattering egos of course but it would appear that more would be expected from me. They were trying their best to turn this into a matter of honour for the Fire Country. I thought this to be unkind seeing as they knew full well that I was younger.

It was a concern that throughout the whole meeting I could be poked, prodded and tested in such ways. Luckily for me and for the first time I had something to thank my mother for. This was a riddle I'd heard over ten years ago. It took me back to the old house in Konoha and the dresser that mother kept in her room. It was when father was still alive and we often had visits from the neighbours who they were friendly with. As always I would have to go to bed early and stay out of sight. I remembered wandering in to say goodnight to mother who was combing her long blond hair and gazing into the mirror. She allowed me to sit on her knee back in those days and smell her perfume.

* * *

"It's a shame you can't keep it," I remembered sighing deeply.

"What's that?" Mother asked turning her attention to my hair, combing it gently.

"It's just a shame I can't take my twin with me outside." When I pointed at the looking glass she had laughed and kissed my forehead. "I want someone else to play with. It's boring being on my own."

"Well, your reflection would only be able to copy you anyhow." She rubbed her stomach protectively, "And very soon you will have someone to play with Yasu, I promise."

* * *

I smiled at the memory and then grinned at the two older men, "That would be your reflection. Now, perhaps you could find it in your heart to sign the contract?"

That shut them up. I saw the approving smirk from Osamu, and although I knew that this was probably a mistake, for the time being I revelled in my triumph.

"My friend it is obvious we have underestimated the young lady. I believe she has earned the right to seat up here next to me, don't you agree?" There was a deadly pause between the mayor and his daimyo. It looked as though Michio may protest but instead he rose quickly and encouraged me to do the same. He took the silk cushion he had been sitting on and went to the edge of the table. So it was that we changed places, and I sat down with renewed hope that I could finally squeeze the vital signature onto that damned parchment!

"Do you have a riddle?" Yori asked me with a gleam in his eye. I smiled back determined to please the older man.

"What thing comes of itself without being looked for? What thing does not break under the blow of an iron hammer? What thing closes by night and opens by day?" I said expecting one of the party to instantly call out and name the object. Instead I received only blank looks and the shrugging of shoulders. After a few moments it became clear that Lord Yori was growing tired of this game and called for a bottle of sake. Still the contract remained unsigned.

"Would you like some?" He offered brushing his hand against mine as he reached for the bottle.

I did a double take before shaking my head in a panic, "No thank you, sir. I'm underage!"

"A great pity," he remarked winking. I caught Gaara's eye he was frowning.

Raigo was equally unimpressed, "Young upstart, trying to be smart, eh? Konoha spyin brat out to cause trouble!"

"There is no need for such ill manners!" Daisure laughed uneasily. He began rubbing his hands together, "We're all allies here, aren't we?"

"Stay out of my business Sakan. Your constant suckering up to these diplomats make the rest of us look bad. Hey Kage kid, bet the dame here caused no end of grief for you. Makes you kinda wish the takeover went as planned, eh?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed and I could feel a sudden surge in his chakra. I wondered if people from the Wind country knew how central Gaara had been to that mission. The rat was attempting to stare the red head down.

_You won't win that one, _I thought with amusement watching the pair's staring contest. A tense five minutes ensued with the human and rat locked in tunnel vision. Gaara was used to winning and I suspected that Raigo did too. Security officer or not he was bang out of order and needed a stern talking to. I couldn't understand why the daimyo was allowing such a farce to continue. It was like the feudal lord allowed the rat free reign to say or do anything.

Finally it was Raigo that backed off with a smirk. He turned his attentions back to me and continued, "A village headed by a fe-male, I never heard such garbage. Supposed to be called The Legendary Sucker and from what I hears she's a gamblin drunk."

"You just watch what you say about Lady Tsunade," I warned. I had sudden attack of village pride when the rat began to insult the Hokage. I didn't know if he was telling the truth. My own interactions with the Sannin had not been very 'loyalty inspiring' but the whole point of me being here was to represent the Leaf. I couldn't just let him rattle out insult after insult without intervening.

"Why not have another bout, eh?" He beamed at Gaara. "Put that woman back in her place and show em that Sand shinobi ain't softees no more."

The more I learnt about Nezumi the more I knew instinctively not to trust him. I found the thought of another war distressing. How could the animal even suggest such a wicked thing?

"That was all in the past as well you know. We have to move forward for the good of all countries." It was Daisure again yawning slightly, trying to coax the topic of conversation along to neutral ground. I believed it wasn't the first time that the ambassador had to reign Nezumi back in.

"Bah!" Came the snooty reply, "Don't give me that political correctness spiel. Times may be changin but it don't mean we have to follow it blindly, and have chains round our necks. Konohagakure might be our pals now, but mark my words that won't be forever. Oh and don't forget Kage kid that war is a profitable business too...SQUEAK!"

The chakra energy that had steadily been filling the room rounded on the small creature. Gaara had run out of patience with the daimyo's pet and set about silencing him. I watched in horror as the rat was dangled unceremoniously in full view of everyone at the table. The sand had immobilised him completely and clamped his mouth shut.

"You will refer to me as Lord Kazekage," his voice was slow and quiet. I suddenly realised that he had been rather tolerant up to this point. "Your idle talk is irrelevant to this meeting, do you understand?" The rat refused to answer. "You will apologise to Ambassador Katashi." At this the rodent's teeth were barred in defiance.

"There is no need, Lord Gaara." I protested feeling a crushing anxiety in my stomach.

"What, nothing to say?" his heated focus was still intent on Nezumi. I watched as the creature's cheeks began to bulge and turn purple. If Raigo did not submit to the Kage's request he was going to be squeezed to death. I saw an image of entrails and blood splattering across the room and felt queasy.

"You're hurting him," I said gently. Gaara looked at me and I felt embarrassed, this wasn't supposed to happen. "Be merciful," I pleaded whilst reaching towards the sand. I placed two firm hands around Nezumi's middle ready to catch the security guard. Gaara released him but there was still an angry wave of menace hanging in the air. I knew he wasn't pleased, and I stood holding onto the rat for a moment forgetting where I was.

"You gonna put me down, please?" Raigo blinked in shock back at me. I set him back down onto the floor, "Thank you," he muttered sheepishly before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"He'll be fine," the daimyo said reassuringly. "He just needs to cool off."

Throughout the rest of the meeting Gaara spoke only when he absolutely had to. He did not attempt to initiate conversation with any of the council which was driving me mad. Daisure gave his very best to encourage the young Kage but every time he was shot down, and in the end he simply stopped trying. The only time Gaara made a specific request was to ask if the kitchen could serve a dish of salted tongue, which they happily obliged. It was rare to see Gaara eat so I supposed that was one positive thing.

As the afternoon became evening Osamu was next to leave. After confirming that no further topics of a financial nature would take place, she concluded her business and left quickly. She gave Daisure a serious look before departing and he nodded. I had no idea what was going on between them. I began to day dream that they were secretly in love and trying to avoid detection. Perhaps it was forbidden for work colleagues to have relationships when working for the feudal lord. Maybe they could only steal moments away together when the daimyo was distracted. In any case I poured myself some water from the crystal jug and tried to focus on more important matters.

"Perhaps some music?" Yori asked the group who were all immersed in their own thoughts. He clapped twice and called for dancers but none came. Confused the Wind Leader turned to Michio, "What is the delay?"

His friend smiled weakly before patting him on the shoulder. "Do you not remember, my Lord? They displeased you and they were sent away."

"I don't recall doing that," the man's face became tinted with annoyance. "We have guests and no music, Daisure is this true?"

"I'm afraid so, Lord Yori." Sakan seemed miserable watching as his leader drained another cup of sake in an inglorious loud gulp.

The bottle stood nearly empty and I could smell the fine rice wine on his breath. He handed another glass of water to me before asking urgently, "Do you sing or play, ambassador?"

Straight as an arrow I admitted to practising the koto. This was of immediate interest to the group who wished to hear the talent. It was too late to sway their attention to anything else and I had dug myself a nice little hole. I laughed and admitted that unfortunately the instrument was tucked away safely back in Suna. Not to be put out a message was sent to find and retrieve a spare. There was no escape from my performance and I suddenly felt quite faint.

I asked to be excused for some fresh air, and upon return there was a koto waiting for me. It was a most beautiful object no doubt a family heirloom. How Ongaku would love to get to grips with something like this! I was surprised to learn that this particular koto was a gift from the Sandaime Kazekage. This was the man who had ruled Sunagakure before Gaara's father and was considered a most gifted ninja.

"The only songs I know by heart are my own compositions," I gulped handling the koto with extreme care. "I don't know if they would please you, my Lord. They may not make any sense as they were designed to be played for a festival in Suna. I do not possess a strong voice..."

Yori was not interested in my excuses he wanted to hear music. "My dear you are far too modest. If you play consider the contract signed, I will consent to Suna's sand trade," I nodded with determination. That was some serious motivation he had placed in front of me. "Now please, sing for us."

To sing for yourself with no audience was pleasurable. I had always found difficulty however in adapting my approach in front of others. My voice would take such inopportune moments to choke inside me and become about as harmonious as a screeching cat. I couldn't get my breath it was as if all the air in my lungs had suddenly been pushed up into my throat. I tried to calm down and breathe but it was painful. Fighting with nerves I began the song:

Stronger than a mountain,

raging streams of water.

Here is where the wind doth blow.

Bare the flames of fire,

Lightning strikes are far too slow.

Moonlight clouds are drifting,

quiet in the darkness.

Here is where the wind doth blow.

When the morning comes,

the sun shines again once more.

Hear the steady drum beat

see the dancers leaping.

Here is where the wind doth blow.

Songs that we sing on high,

can be heard down below.

Dunes of sand are rising,

towering the desert.

Here is where the wind doth blow.

Sun will go on shining,

never set on Sunagakure.

It began as a simple and soft melody with the notes repeating until the final verse, which was much louder. Afterwards there was an enthusiastic round of applause and for the first time a more relaxed atmosphere descended upon the room. I wasn't sure how it sounded but was very glad it was over. Lord Yori was cruel however and desired another song. This constant breaking of promises was exhausting me I couldn't see how to conclude our business. Whenever I did as the feudal lord asked he would simply raise the bar. There were no windows in the room so I couldn't tell how long we'd been here. At this rate I would be falling asleep at the table before the contract was signed.

For the sake of Suna I took up the koto and sung one more song. This particular composition was based on the story of the desert flower. Throughout the recital I could feel the daimyo's presence growing ever closer and by the time the song was ended I looked up to see a great hunger in the man's eyes. I didn't quite understand what he was looking at. I tried to shuffle away slightly increasing the distance between us but he closed the gap. I gave a forced smile and tried to ignore the bad feeling that was spreading in my gut.

Finally Quanto called for ink and a quill and signed. Never in my life had I been so joyful to hear brush strokes sliding steadily onto paper. With my prize claimed I could look forward to the conclusion of the meeting in the knowledge that I'd done my best. There was little else on Daisure's agenda that would take much time. And so we came to the end.

"Another bottle," called Yori. At this I saw how Michio glared at his friend in anger.

"My Lord, have you not had your fill for the evening?" He laughed but there was seriousness in his words. "After all, first the man takes a drink. Then the drink takes a drink. Then the drink takes the man!"

"What are you trying to imply?" He moved closer to me and brushed away a stray blond curl. This was far too intimate for my liking. It was as if he had forgotten every other person in the room. I realised with an uncomfortable certainty that Mr Hogosha was quite right it was time to lay off the booze. "You are excused Michio, I have no further need for you tonight."

A groping hand slid up my thigh and I pushed it away. Yori's smile was becoming less charming and more perverted by the minute. Temari had given me some advice about being touched up by a guy. A simple kick in the testes would be enough for a man to get the message. I rubbed my forehead; a glowing report _that _would be for Lady Tsunade. The Konoha Ambassador charged with assaulting the leader of the Wind Country! This was getting out of control and I had no idea of how to stop it.

"I will not stand for this," the mayor suddenly looked as one in pain. "You have lost your way my friend."

"Be quiet, Michio. You're rambling."

"If you keep walking this path you will be ruined. Look at you now, can you not see it?"

"You would insult me, Yori Quanto, honourable daimyo of the Wind?"

"Whatever honour you once had is long gone," Michio said this bitterly almost overcome with emotion. "I have covered up your indiscretions for the last time! I will take no further part in this idiocy – destroy yourself as you see fit." He tore a heavy gold medallion from his chest and threw it on the table. It spun loudly on its edge until it came to a stop. Mr Hogosha's face was grim as he stormed from the building. I took another gulp of water terrified of what would happen next.

**Author's note **- I did often wonder what happened to the daimyo after Suna had attempted to invade Konoha. I know from the manga that there is a different chap who takes over later. This gave me the idea of Yori's fall from power due to drink and depression. Yori is not the daimyo's name in Naruto but I couldn't track it down in my research. If anyone else knows feel free to tell me!

I've been listening to an album called The Ambient World. In particular track 2 seemed to be stuck inside my brain so I started coming up with lyrics for it. Eventually it was these words which became Yasu's song on the koto. It's probably more Chinese based than Japanese but if you can get your hands on it - it's quite calming after a stressful day!


	40. A Midsummer Night's Dream

**Chapter 40 – A Midsummer Night's Dream **

She was drunk, funny considering the ambassador hadn't touched a sip of the sake that was on offer. She was underage for a start. Yet Yasu was acting strangely uncontrolled with jerking actions as she reached for her glass. Her arms flailed around as she was talking with eyes drooping now and again.

"Daisure, I'm sure the Kazekage would appreciate a tour of the palace."

"But Lord Yori," Mr Sakan appeared dismayed at Michio's abrupt departure. He also didn't want to leave Yasu alone with the daimyo and for good reason.

There was no doubt about it the daimyo had spiked her drink and his plan to become 'fully acquainted' with the young lady later had an entirely different meaning. The way he was rubbing her leg and despite giving very clear signals that this was not what she wanted he still pestered her. Gaara frowned he could guess what probably might happen if they didn't stay.

Daisure was powerless to intervene and so, it was the young Kazekage suggested the ambassador would like to retire for the evening. Yasu agreed immediately and tried to move. The older man put pressure on his guests to stay, evidently disgruntled at their premature exit. He tried to blackmail them saying that his pride had been mortally wounded. Then he asked if he had offended the ambassador in some way and begged to make amends. Through all this Gaara took control apologising and turning down the offer politely and reassuring Yori that no offence had been taken but it was getting rather late.

It was at that point that the leader confessed he had sent away the coach and escort that had accompanied them to the palace. His face broke out into a wide smile as he invited them to stay in the guest quarters and make themselves at home. Gaara had surveyed him with an icy stare, angered that the man should dare to make such care free arrangements without consultation.

He had explained without a doubt that the Kazekage and Konoha Ambassador would take _alternative transport_ back to the Hidden Sand Village. No further assistance was required from the daimyo and his 'efficient decision making skills' at this present time. Immediately after this firm reply he had helped Yasu to her feet and kept a cautious eye on the host as they bid each other a final goodnight. She hobbled unsteadily on her bad leg and clung ungraciously to the young male.

Once outside with the door safely closed, Daisure could only offer more apologies for the behaviour of his leader. He thanked Gaara for his time and recommended an immediate exit from Minatomachi.

"I can't predict how the daimyo will react when I go back in there," he put his head in his hands. "He may send someone after you or he may just fall asleep, goodness knows!"

"Ambassador Sakan, if Quanto is corrupted it is time to take action." Gaara spoke quietly but firmly, "You cannot allow such abuse of power to continue. I offer assistance from Sunagakure if required."

Daisure was touched by the Kage's support, "I don't believe that will be necessary, Lord Gaara. After tonight I don't think Mr Hogosha will delay in exposing the shamble of the current court. I'm not afraid to face any judgement upon me either I have been a weak fool."

"We learn much from our mistakes. Do not judge yourself too harshly." Gaara held out his hand and the startled Daisure shook it. With that he said goodbye to them both and left them alone in the night.

She made an attempt to stagger without support to the steps leading away from the main building. In a chorus of huffs and puffs the ambassador struggled to retain much dignity. Gaara watched dumbfounded as she slouched to the floor breathing hard.

"Such an old perverted man," she gasped for air. "Did you see the way he was looking at me? I'm old enough to be his granddaughter. I should have smacked him!"

The thought of the girl smacking respect into anybody at the moment seemed ridiculous.

"No, it was better to stay your hand. Your decision was the correct one. I will take you home, please... lean on me." Gaara uneasily took the girl's arm around his shoulder and allowed her to put her full weight against him. The contact with another human in this way felt very alien. As the sand lowered the pair down the stair case and onto more solid ground, she tried to wobble away from him.

"Just give me a minute I'll be able to move on my own," she protested.

"That is not wise you are not fully in control of your movements."

"I can control my movements, _just fine_. I am not some drunkard that you've picked up off the street!" She shrieked indignantly, "Hand on heart I could walk in a straight line, turn around and touch my nose to prove it if I wanted to!"

"Such actions will not be necessary," Gaara said gently, unsure whether to take such a promise seriously. "The water was laced with a drug and the fact remains you are under its influence."

"Under the influence? How dare you! I take my role seriously, very seriously, do you understand me? I'm the _Ambassador_. I would never do _anything_ to embarrass Konoha or Suna, never ever never! He drugged the water...What a filthy trick! Why would he do that? Oh God...why are all men so awful? They either try to kill me or worse, they are so stupid! They're pigs that should be slaughtered and hung up!"

Her words shot out like ammo from a machine gun assaulting the Kazekage's ears. She changed from one subject to another so rapidly that it was difficult to keep up; there were rhetorical questions and questions that demanded answers, anger then sadness, references to home then comparisons to Suna, worries about the villagers and fears about friends. Once it began Gaara wasn't sure how to make it stop.

"Then I should be slaughtered like a pig also?" Gaara turned the conversation back to the last words he had fully understood. Immediately the wish wash of ramblings ceased.

"No, not you, you're nice!" she giggled. "Oh, you must think I'm completely deranged!" Her hands moved up and down erratically trying to emphasise the point. Gaara thought it to be a miracle that she had avoided poking out her own eye.

"Why should it matter what I think?" he asked puzzled. He was aware that his opinion seemed to matter greatly to the girl. As to the need for his blessing, (when it came to the duties and decisions of the Ambassador) he couldn't understand it.

"You're the _Kazekage," _She gripped his coat whilst saying this which alarmed him. "Everyone looks to you for leadership and making serious decisions."

"I prefer not to allow such thoughts to occupy my mind," Gaara admitted releasing her grip sharply.

She stumbled and tripped onto the floor and proceeded to begin giggling. The giggles quickly developed into sniggers followed by belly laughs that brought tears to her eyes. "I don't think my legs want to work anymore."

Suddenly her mood changed and she brought her knees into her chest wrapping her arms around them. Her body began shivering just the same as when she had developed sunstroke out in the training grounds. This turned into a rocking motion back and forth and her eyes were wide as saucers. "I remember..." Her voice became a murmur and Gaara had to kneel down beside her to hear a single word.

"It was dark and I was drained after the fighting. There was a flash of blue light, a chakra wave. He was laughing and charging towards me. Be a good girl and die, quietly, he said." Gaara looked at her unsure exactly of what to say. One minute she'd been laughing so hard and now she was lying in a crippled heap.

It was all he could do to try and make sense of the whispers, to find out the meaning behind these snippets of speech. "You said he."

Yasu's eyes sparkled with tears as she turned to Gaara. "It _was_ Kabuto and he was about to kill me. There was no way I could fight back all my chakra was gone. So then, someone came..." She began beating the side of her head with a frustrated palm. There was a look of recognition before the rocking started again, "Oh God, poor Yuushi."

"What do you remember?" He demanded harshly.

"I don't want to remember," she gasped trying to wipe away tears.

Gaara stood up and surveyed the tangled blond mess that was covering her face. He was beginning to realise that when the ambassador cried he didn't like it. It just didn't suit her. He couldn't stand the sniffing and choking..._She is stronger than that_, he thought angrily.

"Does Hiro not deserve to know the truth about his grandfather?"

"It's not like it would make him feel any better!" The slurring words were difficult to understand. This was one of the many side effects of the drug taking hold.

Gaara had always been surrounded by people that never touched a single drop of alcohol. His uncle, father and even Baki had always been cold stone sober within his presence. Maybe because this was how he was brought up, he expected everyone to have their full wits about them at all times.

Apparently sharing sake was an enjoyable and sociable experience. He couldn't see any of that displayed in the ambassador. He was overcome with disgust at how a substance could make a person act so unpredictably. The way there was no control over both body and mind was disturbing. How words tumbled so thoughtlessly from the mouth. The ambassador was completely different this way it just felt wrong to him.

"Can you stand?" Gaara asked abruptly. When there was no reply the ninja impatiently lifted her into his arms and began striding quickly along the road. The Ambassador clung tightly to him in shock as they paced. She could hear his heart beating near to her ears.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed heat rushing to her cheeks.

"I do not intend to spend the entire night waiting for the effects of the drug to wear off, ambassador. We must leave immediately and return to Sunagakure."

"Ambassador," she huffed into the folds of his claret coat. "Why do you never call me Yasu? That's my name!" The complaint sounded almost like a wail. The sand ninja had never understood her obsession with names. It annoyed him intensely.

"Names are irrelevant. I'm expected to call you by your title," he wheezed increasing speed as they turned down a cross roads.

"Put me down," the ambassador demanded. "I said, put me down!"

Gaara stopped immediately and dropped her roughly to the floor. "I suppose you think that's funny!" she stared back at him waspishly.

"What do you want?" he replied. His green eyes illuminated by the light of the whole moon behind him.

"I'm not going a step further until you call me by my name," she answered, trying in vain to stand up.

Gaara's throat growled, rumbling like crunching gravel. He was trying to be courteous and all she wanted to do was waste precious time. He didn't have to stay. Perhaps it might easier on him if he _did_ leave her fumbling around in the dark.

"A name is a part of who you are. Never mind titles – are you happy when everyone keeps calling you Kage all the time, even your brother and sister? It's Kazekage this and Kazekage that!"

"Kazekage is preferable to being called a demon." He breathed deeply forcing himself to calm down. Only she had the ability to do this, irritate him to the point of losing his temper. Didn't she understand how difficult the sand was to control, when she was around him?

"Kage means shadow. You'll be some blank face hidden under a white and green hat! Why are you still hiding yourself away from your own people?"

Her words struck a nerve with the young leader that he did not anticipate, "That is enough."

"You've achieved so much, but you're acting like you're scared." Yasu insisted, walking towards him with a smile. "What are you still afraid of?"

"I will not answer such a pointless question."

"You're afraid of being rejected," the girl spoke slowly. There was a stab inside his chest followed by an uncomfortable realisation that she was telling the truth. "You've been promoted to the highest rank and you'll protect the villagers with all your might, but you won't let them get any closer. Is that how it's always going to be? Keeping your people at arm's length just in case they turn on you; how can you be content with such a half hearted life?"

"You're a self righteous hypocrite, to speak of fear and keeping others at a distance, when you refuse to speak to your own mother."

"Don't drag my mother into this." She glared at him stinging from the unkind reminder, "When _you_ are doing exactly the same thing with your father!"

"Be silent," he snarled feeling the chakra inside him beginning to boil.

"Make me!" She yelled back with foolish provocation.

That was the final straw before Gaara could do anything it was too late. The sand had already whipped forward and struck the girl across the face with a powerful smack. He shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe that he'd actually lashed out, it hadn't happened in months. In the silence he stood there wondering just how hard he'd hit her.

"I'm sorry," he shouted but his voice was too stern.

She was lying on the floor staring up at the stars. After a few more moments she sat up and curled in a ball, arms crossed protectively over the head. When he reached out towards the shaking arms, she jerked away.

"Just leave me alone," she pleaded. This had a bigger impact on the ninja than any counter attack ever could. Reluctantly he did as she asked.

There was pain and he realised that it was his actions that had caused the pain. A bitter feeling poured into his soul. Was this guilt? Since Yashamaru's betrayal he'd always lived doing exactly what he wanted. There had never been any consideration about how he _should_ feel when hurting others. Kankuro had asked him once if he ever felt guilty after the fight with Rock Lee. It was reported that the ninja would never recover from his injuries. Back then Gaara had shrugged away the comment and moved on.

He took a further step back and willed Yasu to look up but she did not. She was usually so happy, a busy nuisance running around the village for one madcap reason or another. He had taken to drinking more green tea these days as an opportunity to glance out the window. To his charges it simply looked as though he was contemplating. In truth he was searching for a familiar head of blond hair and pondering what she was up to.

"Ambas-," he screwed up his eyes. It had become such a habit that it was very hard to break away. Yasu was a name that meant peaceful. It should be the easiest word to say but there was a connection attached to it. If he said her name it meant that she was more than just a guest from a foreign country.

"Yasu," he said at last in a softer voice. "You told me once that I couldn't promise not to hurt you again, and you were right."

"You've got a rotten temper," she said sulkily.

"You have a loose mouth," he smirked a little at this before apologising once more. This time he meant it.

With a sharp nod, her head shot back up and she smiled shyly, "Would you mind helping me up?"He nodded and held out a hand.

Gently the girl took hold and pulled her body from the floor. She swayed and suddenly pressed close to him. This made his breath catch for a moment. She didn't appear to sense how awkward this made him feel. She was looking at him a trickle of blood sliding gradually down her forehead.

"Did you work out the riddle yet?" She laughed.

He had to think back for a moment. What was she doing looking at him like that? She had beautiful eyes, deep blue like the ocean he didn't like water it could drown him. He shouldn't even be looking in those eyes.

She reached up to touch his hair stroking it tenderly through her fingers and still grinning, stroking it brushing it past his ear all the way to the top pulling a little and then beginning from the bottom again.

"It's very soft," she said dreamily. "I thought it might be tatty and harsh."

"Yasu, please you're not quite yourself," he tried to pull away.

It was difficult to leave now she had an arm wrapped around his waist and was touching his hair with the other. It felt very hot all of a sudden even in the chilly night air. Their bodies were in close proximity her light frame nestled into his side. Her fingers slipped over the surface of his skin caressing the cheek of his face. His body tensed up immediately, heart racing threatening to burst out his chest with force. She was putting herself in danger the sand was outraged hissing and spitting around them. He tried to keep it at bay with soothing thoughts, he mustn't strike her again. He was in control there was nothing to become angry about. She was drunk, powerless there was nothing she could do to threaten him in any way.

"Such smooth skin I never thought…"

The tips of her petite fingers explored every inch of his eye lashes, nose, chin and mouth. Tracing the lines of his lips she came nearer still unafraid, trance like almost, reaching up to him. Her golden hair was draped across his shoulder with the intoxicating smell of lavender. She was too close their bodies shouldn't be so close. He'd been wrong there was something threatening about her. His blood was throbbing and accelerating. The way she was touching him made him feel weak.

"Are you blushing, Kazekage?"

His cheeks were burning but how could she tell that in this light? He fought against the embrace only his body wasn't moving it was frozen. His skin felt electrified and with each carefree caress it sent a wave of shivers down his spine._ Stop that! _ He thought incensed.

"Gaara, can I kiss you?" the words travelled along the breeze and before the startled ninja had any time to react their lips met.

Gaara's fists were clenched so tightly in defence that they were bone white. He slumped back against the wall still desperately willing the sand not to intervene. He didn't want to hurt her. Her eyes were closed whilst his in comparison were wide open in panic. It was a slow and tender kiss. Their lips brushed lightly against each other then gradually the pressure increased ever so slightly more. His breath was sharp and painful, was he going to die?

The sensation was overpowering skin touching skin sent jolts throughout his body. There was tingling, his nerves trying to cope with whatever was happening to him. She tilted her head slightly so the kiss became deeper their mouths meeting together and joining completely. The shape of her lips changed to match his. Gaara could feel the hot, wet breath of the girl and the sand stopped swirling.

There was something else here with them.

_A first taste of lust must be quite extraordinary._

_Leave me be. _Gaara fought back the intrusive thoughts of _Shukaku. Whatever the Ambassador was doing to him, he certainly did not want to share it with the demon. He heard laughter in his ears as the presence shifted to the back of this mind. _

After what felt like an eternity their lips parted ways and she snuggled into his shoulder as they leaned against the wall. Gaara came back to his senses trying to reclaim the fresh oxygen that seemed to have been sucked out of him. He was still alive.

He brought his pale palms up to the moonlight and could see indents where his fingernails had been clamped so tightly into the flesh that they had left marks. His lips were still wet and flushed. His senses were overactive he never knew his body could feel charged like that, as if every cell and nerve had been assaulted with energy. Relief washed through him as the sand settled down once more.

"Yasu? Yasu…" he whispered in the ambassador's ear.

When he tried to shake the ambassador she did not respond. Her chest was rising and falling steadily she had fallen asleep. Gaara blinked unsure whether the last few minutes had truly occurred. It felt like a dream.

He said nothing and began to walk away with troublesome thoughts chasing after him. He stopped and looked back at the sleeping body lying out in the road. Could he just leave her there? He didn't know what to do, he felt frightened by this new experience. If he returned to the same spot it meant he would have to touch her again.

"Why did you do that?" He demanded from the sleeping form as though expecting some reply. It wasn't like Yasu to cross the line and confuse him so. He wanted to breathe but his chest felt different, constricted almost. The Kazekage gazed again at the body and snapped away angrily.

Suddenly he growled and went back to the Ambassador. Gaara tried not to think about the lips that had touched his own, only to relive the kiss intensely. He staggered back and clamped two fists either side of his forehead, pressing hard.

"We must return to Suna," his rasping voice shook. He forced his unwilling arms to lift the cause of his distress and continued the long walk back to the village.

**Author's note - **It took forty chapters but we finally got a kiss! Hope you enjoyed it.


	41. Pieces of the Puzzle

**Chapter 41-****Pieces of a Puzzle ****  
**

It was a month after the meeting; and I concluded that I would never remember how _exactly_ I got home, but should just be glad that I did! I remembered waking with the biggest crick in my neck that I'd ever had. The muscles in the upper part of my neck were swollen and felt very sore. It had been painful to try and move my head too far in one direction, and the medic nin diagnosed that I'd developed a neck spasm! I wondered if I'd slept awkwardly on the ride back in the coach.

I recalled minor panic before I spotted the contract on my bedside table. I'd picked it up and checked thoroughly that the daimyo's signature was still signed on the dotted line. I believed that he might have tried to pull a cruel trick - like invisible ink for example, to take away his precious permission for trade. Luckily the contract was complete and intact, and soon afterwards I had contacted Tarao to begin making preparations for the business, and that as they say is that.

There was a knock at the door, when I called out Shiro entered carrying a tray.

"And how are you this morning?" She said cautiously.

I'd finally forgiven Shiro for lying to me before I'd been due to travel. I missed having her about the house, the house that we cleaned and fixed together. It didn't seem right to be living there knowing that my former house keeper was relying on the good will of friends, and sleeping rough on hard floors. We couldn't go back to exactly the way we were and there would always be a nagging doubt in my mind about the woman's sincerity. Life though was far too short and there were people in the world that had tried to do worse things to me.

I glanced at the contents of the silver dish and laughed, it was a sand dumpling. The tea was steaming hot and I drank it eagerly all the while Shiro smiling back at me. She wore her sand ninja headband proudly now and seemed relaxed. We talked a while about what I was going to do with my time left in Suna. I assumed that after the festival there would be no further need for an ambassador. Sunagakure was truly on the mend both its people and leadership secure. Where once there had been distrust and suspicion between the two nations, there was now an open peace. Things really had settled down and there seemed very little left for me to do.

I struggled with sadness that touched my heart now and again. It was when I began to think about saying goodbye and leaving the desert behind, that I felt low. Perhaps thinking ahead to the future was a scary place that I didn't want to go right now. There was still a little time before I had to turn and face my problems head on. For now I was simply content to potter about and tie up loose ends.

Later on that day I was accompanied by Grandma Rooba to inspect the sand mining project.

Rooba was astounded, "Would you look at all that!" She was excited, taking the worksite in full view at the top of a large sand dune. There was a huddle of orange tents pitched up near to the sand caves which provided shelter from the winds. Large cranes had been erected to dump vast quantities of sand into nearby waiting transports. I spotted Tarao barking orders to a group of men who were shifting through chunks of white rock on a conveyor belt. Even from up here I could hear the noise of drilling, hacking and scraping of both man and machine.

"It does spoil the landscape though," I said regretfully.

Rooba poked me with her walking stick, "Hogwash!" She said. "This is exactly what Suna needs, Yasu. Don't be getting all sentimental about a bunch of sand! Nobody comes to the Village Hidden in the Sand for the view."

I couldn't disagree with that. We made our way back down the dune and headed straight towards the site. As I took a sip of water from my flask I sympathised with the men working under the Suna sun. Some were quite red faced obviously not used to working in such conditions. It was strenuous work; shifting and digging through what was called 'dirt sand' the top layer of sand which was full of impurities. About twenty metres under was white sand which was the precious material that the merchants wanted. The dirt sand had to be collected and stored so that it did not blow into the white sand and thus create more work. When the white sand was ready it was taken to the 'plant' to be filtered, weighed and priced up.

Tarao knew about the old filtration station that had been abandoned by miners years ago. He spent less than a week making repairs and fixing broken parts. Meanwhile his crew of men located and mapped the caves and potential digging hot spots in the desert. All this in under a month was pretty impressive by anyone's standards. But then Tarao was a driven man when it came to trade and business. 'Digging is in my blood!' I remembered him bragging. It had been his dream to return here and make something of his life.

"Well, looky here!" The larger man couldn't hold back his delight and charged at me with a bear hug. After being smothered for a while I punched him on the shoulder. He let me down and stood back beaming. "What you doing coming all the way out here?"

I caught my breath before answering him, "I came to see how things were going." I was looking past him trying to take it all in. "You've taken the idea and flew, it's amazing. Just...wow I can't believe how quickly you got things up and running! I never thought that I would actually get to see the whole process in action."

He was glowing in his pride but came down to my level. "Miss Katashi, if you hadn't recommended my team, none of this would ever have happened. For that generosity you have my thanks." I squirmed trying to take the praise graciously but felt it undeserved. Rooba poked again with the stick.

"You'll be a modest mug till the end of your days, Lady Leaf."

I sighed and wished again that she would stop calling me that silly name.

We took a tour around the facility before resting under the sunshade of Tarao's tent. Inside was a gigantic map plotted with different coloured pins. Areas that had been tapped were crossed out with red crosses and the desert had been carved up into different sections. A coloured team was assigned to scout the area and estimate how much white sand could be harvested there. There were also white pins to symbolise the caves which were likely to hold opals. This was all explained to me by the gentleman making amendments to the map.

I rested for a while with Rooba who although trying not to show it, was exhausted by the short trek away from the village. She drank greedily from the water rations we had brought with us. When she had regained a little strength the old woman asked curiously about the workers.

"You've managed to employ over forty men here. They can't all be your own, Tarao. Did you have to advertise to outsiders?"

"Well no," Tarao began as he pulled a boot off his leg and shook out the sand. "Alongside my boys we've been assigned workers by the Kazekage. They're the prisoners from the Mist that were captured." The look of surprise on my face made him laugh. "It was about two weeks ago I think. I was sent for and he asked me how was progress. I said a bit slow and could do with more man power. I had put the usual recruitment posters around town but there weren't many takers. Mining in the heat isn't exactly desirable!"

He removed the other boot before placing them both next to the chair he was sitting in. "Anyways the prison folks were still locked up waiting for a decision. Alright, they might not be fighters but they've got skills. We'd made a good use of them to rebuild the village and they did a decent job. Word got round they were still fretting about their families which was causing some grief. Well, you know how they say the devil makes work for idle hands? So, he puts it to me that I need men and he's got a bunch sitting idle in jail. We'll pay, feed and water them so long as they work hard. Any money they earned could be sent back to their families."

"But, what about the Mizukage?" I asked with concern. "Wouldn't he wonder where the families were getting extra money from?"

"Aye, the Kage said to leave that to him. So I have no idea what plans he's got!"

"Well, that's Lord Gaara for you," Rooba mumbled to herself before smiling.

I left the pair chattering in the tent and stood outside. I recognised the civilians from Kirigakure, all wearing similar brown smocks as opposed to Tarao's men who dressed in their own choice of clothes. Despite this deliberate effort to distinguish the workers from one another they seemed to be getting along. They sang as they worked and told jokes during tea breaks and poked fun as men do. I watched as one man fell, he was instantly taken to shade and offered water. I was pleased to see that they were looking after each other.

There was no getting away from the heat - those from the Land of Water would take a long time to acclimatise to the weather. It had taken me over a year to become adjusted myself. I had learnt that from twelve to about three o clock you were better to take a nap and sweat out the heat than try to fight it. If you wanted to get any work done you were better to rise early and take advantage of the cooler mornings. I knew there was one certain person who would be the exception to this rule and sighed. This reminded me of a question that I needed Tarao to answer.

"Can I ask you something?" I turned back into the tent. He nodded slightly as he pulled the boots back onto his feet. "On the night when I visited the daimyo, you did drive me back in the coach, didn't you?"

His eyes became confused as he stood up and looked at me very carefully.

"Hmm, it's a funny thing that you should mention that after all this time," he scratched his head. "I was approached by one of Lord Yori's officials. He said that you'd decided to spend the night - then he gave me a little something for a room at the inn. I mean I just do as am told! I'm not bothered about waiting around a bit longer so I wasn't put out or nothing. Anyways, I had a few jars and went to bed with the idea that I'd collect you the next morning. Thing was when I went to the palace I was told that you'd already left!"

I froze.

"Ambassador, you alright? Gone as white as a sheet you have!"

I wasn't sure how I felt about this. I couldn't remember a single thing about what happened that night and it was beginning to worry me. Both adults showed immediate concern and made me take a seat.

"You'll think I'm being silly," I growled in frustration. "I don't remember how I got home that night, Tarao and I've put off asking you in case you didn't know either! I know that I got back with the contract signed and obviously Gaara made it home too."

"Then why not ask him?" Rooba said.

It all sounded so simple, why not just ask the Kage? I sighed heavily again, that was the other thing, since we came back from Minatomachi things hadn't been the same. Maybe it was paranoia on my part or perhaps he was genuinely busy but...I couldn't put my finger on it. Our meetings at Ivory Towers which followed were short and abrupt. It was almost as if the Kazekage couldn't stand to be in the same room as me. He was distracted and irritable speeding through the agenda with very little input. Before I knew it, time was up and he refused to be drawn into a conversation that wasn't strictly business in nature.

"I think I did something at the palace that made him mad," I confessed after a very long pause.

"Now, what would make you think something like that?" Rooba rubbed my shoulders briskly trying to jolly me up. It wasn't working.

"He won't talk to me," I said breathlessly. Suddenly the tears were threatening again and could feel the anger stirring inside me. "I worked so hard to get that contract... I can never get anything right when he's around. He hates me I know he does!"

"Oh Yasu, you're talking nonsense," the older woman tried to soothe me. The wisdom of a life lived well shone back from her dark eyes. "Young uns, eh?" She smiled at Tarao who winked but said nothing. "Lord Gaara does not hate you. If you were so awful he would have killed you by now, hmm?" It was a joke but Rooba's tone suggested there was some truth in that.

"Do you know what happened when you were in the hospital?" She asked and continued when I shook my head. "He came to the house and asked what was still to do for the festival. At the time I was struggling with a rowdy group of boys who refused to learn a dance that I was teaching. They were moaning and complaining like a bunch of brats. Would have clipped the lot of them round the ear had the Kage not arrived, but that's by the by. Well, he memorised those steps taking them in and learnt the lot, near perfect in five minutes."

"Gaara was...dancing?" I said sceptically not believing my ears. The thought was so ludicrous it just didn't even enter the realms of reality. There was more chance of hell freezing over. There was more chance that Naruto would give up becoming Hokage than to see Gaara dancing.

She snapped, "Yes, he was dancing, don't interrupt! Now, these boys were watching all starry eyed, you know? He puts it to them that the dance is actually just a set of moves, the same sort of moves that might test a ninja's discipline and focus. Well, soon as he said that they took it on as training. They nailed the whole set in one afternoon, saved me weeks of work!"

"He never told me," I said quietly. "I thought he didn't care about the festival." There was a twinge of guilt in my heart when I said that. It got me to thinking that I was missing an important piece of the puzzle. I hadn't felt like this since Temari told me about the painting. When I thought Baki had presented the gift and in fact it had been Gaara all along.

I tried to pretend that my spirits had been lifted by the story and we continued with the tour. After spending another hour in the sun I'd had enough and dragged Rooba away. As Tarao waved us goodbye he reminded us not to be strangers.

Later that evening I was sat at my desk staring at the box wrapped in brown paper. I couldn't leave it alone and yet there was no way in hell that I was going to open it. How could such a small box cause so much trouble? Once or twice I had almost ripped the paper to satisfy my burning curiosity, then my pride got in the way and I resisted.

I had spent many a day staring at a blank piece of parchment while the ink on my quill dribbled black blobs onto the oak table. Writing letters to Lady Tsuande had become the bane of my life. The mastery of phrasing events that had happened without causing undue panic and alarm was very difficult. At first I had unwittingly told the entire truth and wrote down the first things that came into my head. The result was a further sequence of letters with more questions and advice than I could handle; _do not_ do that again, remember where your loyalties lie, always strive for excellence, consider finding out and always at the end of letters - don't mess up. Over time my letters had turned from weekly to monthly updates which did not go down well. My rambling diary entries became short and concise, if it was one thing I had took on board it was if I wrote less then there was less to criticize. It had worked so far - not that there would be many letters left to navigate anyway.

The time had come for the festival and I would finally find out whether all the hard work was worth it. The preparations had gone smoothly. By the end of this week it would all be over and life would be normal again. I didn't realise how the details of such a large event could take over your life. I'd had countless nightmares about a multitude of elements going wrong. In one dream I had completely lost my voice, in another I was playing the koto before realising I was naked. Then there was the children transforming into dragons and destroying the yagura. Watching helplessly as the central bandstand tower went up in flames along with the paper flowers and gifu umbrellas. The worst one however was when Shukaku broke through Gaara and slaughtered every last person in the village. Shiro had to shake me awake that time and was insistent that I took the day off. For the whole day I couldn't stop thinking about those black and yellow eyes, they made me sick.

For the opening ceremony there was to be a grand parade through the streets. Each ninja family had been asked to create a banner or to wear costumes to represent their clan. Toshie had been very competitive in her desire to create the best. I tried to explain that it was more about celebrating the Sunan community rather than individual people. Not to be outdone the little girl insisted that she would clap and cheer for others but still wanted to win! There was no denying Toshie's determination which reminded me of a certain knuckle head ninja back in Konoha. The twins had built paper kites painted with the Sand Village emblem in many colours. Meanwhile Hiro was alternating between making pinwheels and his own costume which he was keeping a closely guarded secret.

Personally, I had designed and sewn a flag to represent the Leaf. It wasn't meant to be anything special but I was still pleased with the finished version. The background was a pine green and in the centre the symbol of the Konohagakure Leaf had been painstakingly stitched using brown cotton. I had never been the type for arts and crafts and the number of times I had pricked my fingers was beyond count. I had only recently been able to unwind the final bandage from my thumb which still looked like a tenderised piece of meat.

Regarding the parade I would take my place with the rest of crowd at the very back and walk approximately two miles in total. At the end of this precession there was to be an outdoor stage which would entertain with puppet shows and a variety of theatre. This was also the time when the children would sing and I was expected to play a koto solo. I didn't relish the prospect of performing in front of the entire village, but it wasn't as if I had a choice.

There had been smoke from the chimney tops of houses all over Suna. The women had been baking almost none stop for the street party which was to be held after the theatre. Delicious smells wafted through the village making the children's mouths water. A few tried to sample some desserts that had been left to cool on a windowsill, the cook however had sharp eyes and immediately chased them away.

"Not until the festival!" She'd barked menacingly shaking her fist.

The final highlight of the Festival of Change would take us into the evening. Where under the light of the moon (preferably without clouds) the whole village would feast and dance. This was the naive plan in my head of course. I knew I was getting carried away with the romance of it all; floating dresses and sweeping dancers under the stars indeed. To expect the festival to run like clockwork and without incident was unrealistic. If nothing burnt down and no one died I would be a very happy ambassador!

Disturbed by another knock at the door, I looked up to see Temari with what could only be described as a 'cross' look on her face. Shocked, I bolted to a standing position catching the tops of my thighs underneath the table as I did so. The bottle of ink spilt over the letter I had just written but all of this I ignored.

Temari stared across the room still remaining fixed by the door. One arm was leaning heavily against the door frame with the other hand grasping the handle. There was a queer look in her teal blue eyes that I couldn't read. It was only when seeing her there that I realised we hadn't spoken or trained together like we used to. I'd put it down to the extraordinary number of high ranked missions that Suna was now beginning to receive. This was another sign of the Village's changing fortunes in prosperity.

"We need to talk." She said firmly before immediately leaving the room. Without question I followed her out the house and onto the main road towards the market place. She never turned to check up on me, taking it for granted that I was blindly following as usual. I smiled and waved at passersby who returned the greeting. We crossed through the shopping district and took another path which led away from the civilians. It was easy enough to keep tabs of Temari's blond ponytails that jutted out like spikes from her head. She wasn't moving particularly fast.

"So, what's this about?" I asked walking beside the female kunoichi.

"Not here," was all she would say.

We continued a little further towards a part of Suna cast in shadows from an outcrop in the rock, here we reached a gate. The patrol guard saluted Temari smartly and stood aside to allow us through. I now found myself walking towards an unbelievable sight - a tree. In fact a small collection of trees definitely _not_ created by me. Their leaves were thick and light green, incredibly healthy, how could they grow all the way out here? I could still see the towering yellow honey buildings of the village peeping over which reminded me how strange this all was. On the ground grew grasses and bushes about half a metre high and there was a wooden sign inscribed with the character: medicine. There was more to see even after I had recovered from this small wonder. There was something shining out there in the sunlight. Its shape reminded me of an old treasure chest on the deck of a pirate ship. This chest however was made entirely from glass and was a lot bigger! It was a greenhouse about as tall and wide as a small shop. The huge sheets of glass were plain, allowing sunlight through retaining its heat. It was something that I was accustomed to seeing in Konoha, many of the neighbours had smaller greenhouses for the winter to maintain an emergency supply of food. Suddenly I recalled something:

_"We don't really have gardens here, lady." Hiro explained. "We have the greenhouse on the other side of the village though. We grow herbs and crops there and sometimes our school teacher takes us there to draw sketches so we can recognise the nice plants from the poisonous ones."_

_"It sounds wonderful, I'd really like to see that one day,"_

Could this really be the same greenhouse that Hiro had been talking about? I remembered how disappointed I'd felt when Hiro had told me that strangers from other lands were banned from visiting the centre. I couldn't help trembling with happiness at the prospect of finally being allowed to see all the strange and exotic plants underneath one roof. Not everyone in Konoha could say that!

I was handed a pair of covers for my shoes. It was a safety precaution to prevent contamination of the carefully cultivated soils. Apparently the special habitat had been painstakingly created over many decades and needed constant care and attention. Temari was selective about which of my questions to answer. She knew me well enough that I had a strong and inextinguishable sense of curiosity. There was only two other medic nin in the greenhouse that I could tell. As soon as they saw the Kazekage's sister they immediately scattered elsewhere.

There was a lot of moisture and humidity in the air. I could hear rushing water and inspected the plots where many different plants were growing. The labels were helpful identifying herbs and giving each a distinct number. I knelt down next to some sprigs of scurvy grass their small heads poking out from amongst the stones. There were purple blooms here too that reminded me of the desert flower and they had all grown fairly successfully.

At the farthest end of the greenhouse Temari began circling the outer rim looking for particular herbs. There were plants hanging in baskets from the ceiling. Some were spilling out from containers and others were pressing their long stalks against the glass growing towards the sun. I leaned against a solid column, one of the supportive struts of the greenhouse and waited. There was a long table laid with a blue cloth, resting on top was an arrangement of different tools including a pestle and mortar, sieve, knifes and graters. When Temari had gathered enough herbs she began to prepare them.

"What are you making?" I asked fascinated. Temari took a small sharp knife and began chopping a eucalyptus leaf before transferring it to the granite bowl. I could tell that she had done this many times before and could select without too much thought.

"Kankuro has a rotten cold, and I need something to loosen the phlegm before it gets on his chest."

"That's a bit of kind of you, isn't it?" I said slyly knowing full well that this was probably not out of sisterly affection for her brother. She said nothing but a twisted smirk was making its way onto her lips.

"If Kankuro gets a chest infection you can guarantee no sleep for at least a week."

Now I understood. If there was one thing more precious than her fan to Temari it was to get a good night's sleep. I knew all too well the dangers of Temari after a sleepless night she had an extremely foul temper.

Next she added several measured drops of water from a pipette and began grinding the leaves into a fine paste. This took a little time and we didn't speak again until a strong and fresh odour drifted to my nose. The remedy required a few more things petals of one flower and the sap of another. I retrieved some mint to improve the aroma and handed this over to the botanist. This followed another session of grinding and twisting with the pestle until the colour changed to a darker green.

Temari dipped her middle finger into the mixture checking the consistency of the final product. Satisfied she took the paste and spooned it into another container ready to take away with her. She placed the mortar onto the window sill to dry out and rubbed her finger clean with a rag. Throughout all this she still hadn't actually told me why I was here.

"Yaz," she said carefully. "Why did you kiss Gaara?"


	42. Uncomfortable Truth

**Chapter 42 **

**Uncomfortable Truth**

"I...did?"

The words were out my mouth before I could stop myself. Had I thought things over this was perhaps the worst answer I could give to Temari. Instantly she had jumped over the table and pinned me against the wall. The collar of my shirt was pulled tightly in her shaking fist. I could hear her snarls like a raging bull preparing to charge. The teal eyes burned and became wild with a disturbing hatred, this reminded me of how much I preferred the Kazekage's sister as a friend and not an enemy. She was trying to restrain herself and not to punch me into oblivion.

Before events got out of hand I shut up and absorbed the ranting. The more I listened the more embarrassed I became. I could feel my skin tingling with a warm wash spreading from cheek to cheek. In the glass I could see them transforming from a rosy pink hue to a shiny tomato blotch.

Temari was accusing me of having kissed Gaara on the way back from Minatomachi. All this, and I could not remember a single thing about it! I waited desperately for a cheeky smile or hint that told me this was a wind up. Temari was determined to _make me_ remember, but it was like trying to make me grasp smoke in my hands. Every time my thoughts returned to that night they became blurred and disjointed.

Finally she released me and allowed my feet to be reunited with the floor, "Hmm, he did say your drink had been spiked."

"Erm..." was the best response I could muster.

"Never thought you'd have the nerve, I mean damn it Yaz, he's the Kazekage!" She rubbed her forehead which suggested that she still didn't quite believe it herself. "I warned you that diplomats will do anything to make a meeting go their way. Did I not teach you to look for signs of tampering with food and drink?"

"It was the first time I have ever represented any village in such an official capacity. I... tried my best!" The pitch of my voice had risen by a couple of octaves. I couldn't bear the look of disappointment – it was so unfair, how could she expect me to get _everything_ right? "I know I messed up and I'm sorry."

Temari turned up her nose and I suddenly realised how ridiculous the whole situation was. I was apologising for trying my best. I was apologising for putting up with offence rats, leery daimyos and using what little I had to make a deal come through. I'd had little or no training and yet, I was expected to pull off a perfect negotiation and to make no mistakes at all.

"You know what?" I looked at Temari, "Why don't _you_ become an ambassador and see what it's like? It's so easy to point and criticise when you look in from the outside. You use a fan and kunai to cut through problems and make a point. All I have are words. You don't know what it's like fighting a battle across the table, when more experienced people are waiting for you to choke. You can't cut through the bravado or threaten to kill someone if they piss you off. Sometimes it's so claustrophobic that it feels like your insides are being squeezed; the intensity of so many personalities pushing and shouting, clawing their points of view into the conversation. There are times when all I want to do is cover my ears and run for the door. I've felt my foot waggling underneath the table because yet again I've been cut off mid-sentence. You hear the noise build and grow louder. You know that you've probably got a short window to make yourself heard and it has to count, but everyone else in the room is thinking exactly the same thing!"

The sound of trickling water was the only element puncturing the silence. I pulled my shirt back down into position before giving us some distance. There was a stool next to the table where the ingredients and utensils had been and I settled into it.

"I wasn't questioning your ability as an ambassador, Yasu. This is more to do with knowing where the line is and not crossing it."

"I've told you, I don't remember kissing Gaara!" I threw my hands up into the air with frustration, "It's just not the done thing for an ambassador to seek a romantic liaison with the leader of another country. There is nothing more important to me than to do the job I was sent here to do."

I could tell that she believed me, that my words were genuine. Her anger had begun to melt away into a simmering pity that left me confused.

She spoke in a whisper and touched my cheek, "alright, you don't remember, but he does. I want you to listen because if you don't you _will_ over step the mark." It was the first time since I'd met the kunoichi that she couldn't look me in the eye. This made my arms break out in goose pimples. "Gaara is finally pulling the dregs of his life back together. He's only just beginning to understand about love in terms of family. He has to worry constantly about the strength of the village and winning over his own people. He doesn't have time for anybody else."

"But I..."

Temari was in no mood for my bashfulness and growled, "Don't insult another woman Yaz, I've seen the signs. The harder you try to hide your affection as something else, the easier it is to see." Her lips were set in a firm, hard line. "Do you understand what I am trying to say to you?"

I nodded slowly and hung my head. After a few moments I listened to the footsteps becoming fainter until I could hear them no longer. Left alone I suddenly felt a deep tear somewhere inside of me. I knew politicians did not marry the ninja elite. I'd never wanted a happy ending, so why did I feel like this?

If word got back to Lady Tsunade that I'd acted shamefully under the influence of alcohol my life was over. What had started as a simple crush was obviously growing into something more dangerous. Soon others would notice and begin to gossip. In order to maintain a professional alliance with the Sand certain sacrifices had to be made. After reflecting on such a serious matter I came to a cold conclusion; to minimise the risk of falling any further for the Kazekage, I would have to lose Gaara's friendship entirely.


	43. Inner Struggle

**Chapter 43 – An Inner Struggle**

It was the day of the parade, but my flag was still rolled up gathering dust underneath the bed. I was sat up focusing on the thin light beams peeping through the blinds. It was a gorgeous day outside or so Shiro kept telling me. I could hear her shuffling around in the corridor wondering what was I thinking and doing. She couldn't understand why I had hidden myself from the many visitors that had come knocking. Seemingly without any reason I had refused to see a single soul, and sent everyone away.

I wouldn't be attending the festival. Soon afterwards I would be heading back to the Land of Fire and I could forget about Sunagakure forever. I paused before shaking my head in dismay; no matter how many times I tried to harden myself to these thoughts, I just couldn't believe it. An aching pain, still raw and throbbing in my gut had robbed me of sleep, appetite and any sense of wellbeing.

Stubbornly I had refused council from my friends. Rooba had tried to force her way into the house, and was only stopped by the equally determined Shiro. I'd heard Hiro cry out to my window and Toshie threaten to tell the Kazza. I highly doubted that Gaara would come running if the blue haired girl stormed into Ivory Towers. I understood now why his behaviour had been so odd of late. I still cringed at my lack of control, how could I kiss the Kazekage? It was no wonder that he wanted to end meetings so quickly.

To let it end like this... I didn't know if I could cope with the music and fun carrying on into the early morning. To hear the crowds and know that I wasn't a part of it would be enough to drive me mad. Yes, I had expected the day of the festival to turn out very differently. I admit that my motivations were partially about the gratitude and pleasure of seeing everyone enjoying themselves. How I would love to taste the sand dumplings that I'd smelt over the past few days. Having finally practised my koto pieces to perfection over many hours this would be thrown aside. Never to see the costumes the children had created or the beauty of the village transformed. I had to accept that despite the effort and late nights I could not enjoy the fruits of my labours. It all seemed grossly unfair to me, but then I thought once more about Temari's warning.

"_He doesn't have time for anybody else." _

The words still made an impact in my stomach. This cold shower of the truth continued to kerb any anger which might lead me to disobey.

"Yasu, there's still time," I heard the house keeper pleading.

"I SAID, NO!" I didn't recognise the voice as my own, it was frightening. My fist punched the wall and I recoiled with the pain. I had never spoken to anyone in such a manner, why did poor Shiro always feel the brunt of my tempers?

The bell chimed from the front.

"As you wish, ambassador, please - excuse me." Her softness and politeness made me feel wretched. I didn't deserve any courtesy or respect.

Suddenly there was an almighty ripping sound, and swirls of furious yellow sand burst through the screen door. It turned one way then the other before spotting me. Before I had time to react it curled swiftly around my leg, and proceeded to drag me across the floor through the house! I watched Shiro's horrified face as she tried to stretch out for my hand, but she disappeared as I rounded another corner. I grabbed onto a wall support beam and held on as tightly as I could. The sand tugged harder it felt like my leg was going to be pulled off!

"Leave me alone!" I shouted with rage towards the open front door. Out the corner of my eye I could see Gaara shrouded in shadow. His fist was clenched and he grunted as I continued to cling on for dear life. Unmercifully he sent some of the grains to slip between my fingertips making my grip impossible. Finally I came loose and was dragged once more into the sunlight, landing right at the Kazekage's feet.

I cursed the black open toed sandals that he wore and refused to look up. _Just what the hell did he think he was doing? _I could tell my face was scrunching up into an awful sour scowl, but I didn't care. _He_ was the one who was being childish, dragging people from their homes just because they refuse to talk! _He_ was the one who couldn't stand the sight of me. _He_ was the one who never even thanked me for the trade contract. _He's_ the one who keeps making me do stupid things!

After a few minutes I was still afraid to look up. I didn't know what he was doing - probably crossing his arms and glaring at me like usual. More silence followed and I did not respond, determined in my prayers that he would simply disappear.

"You are not dressed appropriately for the festival," he stated.

"That's because I'm not going." I kept my focus glued to the sandy earth refusing to meet his gaze. It was hard to keep my voice steady. I wondered how long I could hold out sitting hunched over like this until my back broke.

There was a deep grumbling from Gaara's throat furthermore the sand receded away from my foot.

"Then I shall not attend either," he said coldly and turned to walk away.

"What are you talking about?" I called after him, "You're the Kazekage! You're the central reason behind this festival in the first place!" He was still walking. "If you don't go you'll be letting the entire village down! Will you just wait one minute? Lord Kage, you can't do this!"

Quickly I was running behind him now, worried sick that he meant every single word. There was still a part of the Sunan that was capable of crushing the hopes of the villagers. If his mood was dark enough he would let everything just topple down around him regardless of the consequences. Surely he knew that all the hard work of the past year would be ruined.

"Kazekage, just hold on a second!" I could feel a familiar fire of anger lighting up in my belly. He was treating me as when we first trained in the stadium all that time ago. Surely we had moved on since then?

Reflecting on Gaara's actions for a moment I stopped running. Back then I was a nuisance, unworthy of attention and time, weak. Was that the whole point? Naoki had noticed that I was stronger and surer of myself now. I had the Sand to thank for all that. These people, not my own clan, had accepted and helped me to grow. Was this how to repay them?

"Hey Gaara," my voice became stronger. "Don't think you can just walk away like that." I clapped my hands together and smacked them into the ground. Before the young Kage three oak trees sprang from the ground with their branches stretching towards the skies.

"I don't want to fight you, but I will!" I warned through gritted teeth. I didn't want to think about what would happen if he actually called my bluff.

"Do you believe all of what you said?" Gaara asked me directly.

I was surprised to see him looking so...festive. He wore a long navy blue kimono decorated with the symbol of the Kaze Kanji in gold leaf. Most surprising of all the usual dark black rings around his eyes had also been painted gold. I suddenly realised that he'd put a lot of effort into getting involved.

"Gaara..." I knew that I should stop staring, but I couldn't help it. "You look great."

He rose what would have been his right eyebrow, "For the past month this village has spoke of nothing else but the Festival of Change. _You_ are the central reason behind the festival. Have you not considered how your absence would disappoint the people of this village?"

I could see now why he'd been so rough and dismissive with me before. The sudden shame that crept into my heart was overwhelming. There was no logical explanation for my behaviour, except for Temari's warning. He was confused by my worthless argument. How could I possibly say that he must attend, but that I couldn't be bothered?

"I...I'm not important," I continued feebly. "The festival will continue regardless of whether I'm there or not."

The sand began to stir near to Gaara. I should have known that he wouldn't accept this. It wasn't easy to make light of any situation at the best of times whenever the Kage was around. At that moment he looked deadly, ready to lash out like a coiled snake. My senses homed in on him and forgot about everything else. The young ninja was dangerous and untamed, but strangely attractive. Behind the gold paint a pair of turquoise orbs flashed in annoyance.

"Ambassador, how do you propose to explain to the fifth Hokage that you failed to represent the Leaf?"

"I don't know..." I snapped back, fast running out of excuses.

Gaara was still observing me with that unwavering and impatient stare.

"Why does everything involving you have to be so bloody awkward?" I asked honestly. There was a rant coming on I could tell. Fed up with keeping secrets locked up inside I began to throw my frustrations like missiles.

"Since that night with the daimyo it's all been so crazy and messed up! I'm sorry that I kissed you, heh obviously it was _so_ terrible that you had to tell your sister! I can't take it back and to be honest I don't even remember the damn thing! But let me tell you - since then you've been really horrible to me, even though I don't deserve it. I know I was behaving... Anyway, Temari's explained everything, alright? I get it! So, I don't see why I should have to go along with this festival. I know for a fact that all I'll be doing is pretending to get along with you, when clearly you hate my guts. I've had enough of playing games and being put down. How can you possibly expect me to attend with all that going on in my head? And another thing..."

"The kiss was not wholly unpleasant," Gaara interjected above the din.

"_Don't_ interrupt me when I'm... pardon?" There was still so much I needed to get off my chest, but he stood there with a faint smirk on his lips. His eyes had softened no longer pinning me down as prey.

"I said the kiss was not wholly unpleasant," he said calmly, stepping forward with purpose to avoid another barrage of complaints. "Temari has upset you, I am sorry. Sometimes she does not possess the right words, and since I am also illiterate in such matters the blame lies with me. I was afraid, because I did not understand. I acted hastily and punished you when perhaps... You have always helped me to understand many things. When the source of my confusion became tied to you, it was very difficult to accept. I did not know how to respond. When I saw that our failure to reconcile was affecting others, I felt powerless."

"So you came and smashed down the door?" I cried out in disbelief.

He considered this interpretation of events, and nodded slowly.

"There are _other ways_ to get people's attention you know." I tried to look kindly at him. The Kazekage, one of the most powerful ninja in the world had serious anger management issues. I considered what it might be like to live under the same roof as Gaara. He was the Kage and took on all the roles and responsibilities quite naturally however, he was still incredibly young and vulnerable. It couldn't be easy for Temari and Kankuro to be supportive of their little brother, especially when facing the hazards of growing up together into adults.

"If you attend, I shall attend." He broke the spell with a tone that could not be swayed. Either I would come under my own steam, or be dragged there and held hostage by the sand until the finale. He wanted me to go that badly?

Sighing, I shrugged my shoulders in mock defeat. "I guess I better get ready then," I stopped suddenly and frowned. "Oh heck, I'd spent so much time on the flag that I assumed..." Seeing Gaara dressed so elegantly I squirmed with embarrassment, "I'm afraid to say that I shall look a bit out of place!"

There was a suspicious sparkle in his eye as he gestured back towards the house. "That has already been taken care of," he said confidently.

I cocked my head to one side there was something very strange about the way he was acting. I followed though for my sheer sense of curiosity was once again too tempting to resist. Upon my return I could see Grandma Rooba, with Shiro waiting on the porch steps.

"At last!" The old woman cried out, before wrapping a warm hand around my wrist. She pulled me inside before I had the chance to blink.

"The Ambassador will take her place in the procession as planned Lord Kazekage," My house keeper bowed to the young Wind Shadow outside before closing the doors once more.

"Just what is going on?" I asked with annoyance. I hated the way people seemed to be weaving me this way and that, along some plot of their own devising. "I don't even have a costume!"

"Of course you do!" Shiro laughed sweetly as she came back into the bedroom.

"See?" Rooba pointed her long stick towards to a garment hanging across the mirror. The curtains had been pushed aside and the blinds opened to allow more light through.

It was made from a beautiful emerald green silk. As I fed it through my fingers I could feel how smooth and light it was. I watched it shimmer. The kimono had been decorated with many different coloured leaves all painted and stitched with silk. It was as if the autumn trees of Konohagakure had been captured in a storm of copper, mint green, scarlet, burnt orange and russet.

"The spin of this silk is extremely fine. It comes directly from the silk farms in the Land of Rice Paddies, you are one very lucky lady!" I watched a familiar toothy grin erupt before the elder continued. "Each leaf has been hand painted by the children. They wanted to give you something special so that you would never forget them when you return home."

I was speechless. For Toshie, Hiro, Azuma and Ayuta to go to all this trouble and I had refused to speak or acknowledge them because I was so tied up with being miserable. I would have to make it up to the little ones when I saw them.

The kimono was smaller than I was used to, but fitted like a glove. Shiro complemented the design explaining that it emphasised my best features.

"There's nobody at the festival that I need to impress," I growled still fidgeting with the material to try to loosen it a little. The two older women cackled at this and smiled whilst tying the sea green obi into place. Shiro fussed over my outfit one last time, whilst Rooba expertly pinned a comb into my hair.

I rescued the Konoha flag from underneath the bed and blew away the dust. The three of us, together with our flags, ran like excited children down the road. I could hear the relentless banging of drums dead ahead - the parade had already begun! We slipped into the crowd quickly and followed the long line of villagers through the streets.

Suna's buildings were littered with banners, streamers, bunting and paper chains. The roaring sound of hundreds of people clapping and singing at the tops of their lungs took my breath away. So many of the villagers had created gigantic flags that danced to and fro, along with this, many were dressed in colourful costumes. There were animals with huge ears and long tails, ninja with swords, puppets and outrageous masks, a fantastic spectacle. Even if I had tried to describe the atmosphere to Lady Tsunade, it could never have done the event any justice.

"I can't believe I nearly missed this!" I sang as we marched on towards the theatre.


	44. Dreams and Duty

**Chapter 44 - Dreams and Duty**

After the march the crowd soon stopped and began swarming around a large stage. This was the entertainment venue; constructed from a skeleton of wooden beams provided by myself and a clever combination of screens and mirrors. As a background there was a large golden circle that represented the sun. From this wide red beams stretched out to the four corners. Painted on top of the brighter colours was a silhouette of the village of Suna. I recognised the familiar honey pot shape of the Administration Building along with other distinctive landmarks such as the training grounds and the market. The details of windows and doors were suggested with white paint that made the whole effect look three dimensional. I had never seen anything like it whoever created such a lavish backdrop was extremely talented.

The audience lowered their flags to the ground or leaned them casually against the walls, before settling down. I spotted Kankaro waving his arms manically in our direction and sighed.

"I think we're wanted," Rooba dug me in the ribs. "It's time for the opening ceremony."

On stage Gaara was already lighting two large and ornate candles: one red and one green. He paused for a moment in his work to glance at my costume. I wasn't sure whether he approved or considered my outfit to be merely adequate.

"Ensure to hold this securely," he whispered placing the red candle into my quivering hands. He held aloft the green candle and spoke out to the crowd.

"These candles represent the continuing light of peace between the Land of Wind and the Land of Fire. May these flames never be extinguished throughout the Festival of Change!"

There was a great cheer, and hundreds of hands joined together in thunderous applause. I looked out into the sea of people, so many happy faces. Families close together, children balancing on their father's shoulders and the women with rosy cheeks flushed with joy. This filled me with a sense of accomplishment, however it was far too much to handle. I wondered if Gaara too was struggling with the emotionally charged energy. He was breathing through his nostrils again, but stood tall with authority.

"This year has been hard for all of us," he spoke directly. "We must not forget those who have sacrificed their lives for our sake. I implore we take a few moments to pray for the dead, and to remember them with respect."

A silence descended. The ghost of Yuushi Koshinuke came into my mind instantly along with a loss of closure. He'd always been ridiculed for staying clear of trouble, not wanting to get involved in the affairs and problems of others. His little ink shop had been an isolated haven steeped within the history of a time long gone. The battle with Kabuto was his last. He saved my life and yet no one knew about it, what a brave man he was. I decided that before I left Suna I would have to change that.

The bowed heads turned back towards the stage with anticipation. Rooba pushed me forward and I smiled awkwardly at the audience. Okay, so I hadn't prepared a speech exactly because I didn't expect to be here, no problem. I tried to breathe, fighting back the urge to run away. What to say, where to start? There were so many people, why did the whole village have to be here today? Couldn't a few considerate families have stayed at home? I swallowed loudly and cursed again my disliking of long silences.

The faces of the crowd began smearing into one making me feel dizzy. I had to say something, _anything_ would do! Temari was watching my painful stage fright becoming more and more exasperated. She took out her fan and began to polish the sharp metal.

"I think I'm going to faint," I wheezed.

Gaara moved closer to me, he didn't particularly enjoy large crowds either. I felt a strong hand push into the small of my back helping to keep me steady.

"Perhaps it would be easier to speak honestly." He said not quite meeting my eye.

"Can I do that? I thought I'm meant to say something really impressive and smart, you know? Maybe quote a proverb or two, try to sound wise and stuff."

"Wise or not, if you continue to think about it I do not believe it will matter either way."

He had a point, already some of the spectators were chatting amongst themselves. I spotted some children near to the front, they were an odd bunch. There was a soldier waving a blue and green pinwheel, two long tongued dragons and a bright pink flower head on legs. The four children were jumping up and down much to the disapproval of the adults around them. At that moment my nerves disappeared and I finally found the words I wanted to say.

"I want to begin by thanking a small group of misfits," I laughed knowing that Toshie would probably resent such a description. "This beautiful costume was given to me so that I would not forget about Suna. I just wanted to say that such a thing could never happen. Perhaps I would like to forget about the horrendous storms and constantly tipping sand out my shoes! But as for the spirit and life of this village, to forget that would be to lose a part of myself. For you see as Sunagakure has healed and become stronger so have I, and for that you will always have my gratitude."

It was brief, but seemed to hit the right note. I grinned and waved back to Toshie and the others. Most of the crowd nodded in understanding, "As ambassador for the Leaf Village I would now like to entertain with a koto recital."

There was loud applause, after that the evening flashed by; Kankuro led a Bunraku performance with some young volunteers. The Crow, Salamander and Black Ant thankfully had been left back the workshop. The 'show' puppets were made from wood; their faces painted milky white. I could tell which were made by the professional puppeteer; attention to detail was everything for the older brother of the Kazekage. For example the female geisha's shiny black hair was immaculate. I suspected that the hair used might even be human! She moved elegantly on the stage taking on a life of her own. It was as though the experienced ningyōtsukai played no part in her movements at all and was simply a spectator.

The children's puppets in comparison were less polished. I could hear the joints squeaking as small hands tried to control the many strings. The eyes and ears of the dolls seemed to forever be blinking and wiggling. When they walked there was a clunking sound and the movement was unpredictable. There was a lot of giggling going on in the tesuri, but the audience didn't seem to mind. I could see Kankuro however trying to stop himself from smacking the 'would be' puppeteers into next week.

During a particularly shaky entrance, one of children dropped the chakra strings of the male lead entirely! Kankuro rescued the situation and afterwards stood behind the trouble maker whispering death threats into his ears.

"I don't know which is more nerve wracking the performance or watching Kankuro!" I said to Gaara seriously, "I'm surprised that he agreed to work with the children at all!"

The Kazekage put a hand to his mouth hiding a smirk, "Every member of the Suna Puppet Squad has to start somewhere. Kankuro knows that without new members learning the skills and craft of the puppeteer the jutsu will soon die out. He has taken it upon himself to preserve the ninja art and if he must work with children, then he will do so."

I shrugged my shoulders and continued to watch the performance. One story was about a dancer who was prized above all others for her beauty and skill. Her mother had died during child birth, and she was pampered and spoilt by her father. She did not care for the affections of her many suitors. In fact all the geisha truly cared about was material things such as fine clothes and precious trinkets.

One day as she painted the cherry blossoms in the garden, an old man stumbled into her sight and begged for food and shelter. Repulsed was she by his appearance that she spoke to him as one would to a dog. There was no kindness or charity shown by the beautiful geisha. The old man was thrown from the garden by the family guards and died of hunger soon after.

As time passed the dancer's father became ill and died. The family wealth was squandered as the daughter in her grief went to betting houses. She lost a lot of money and did not realise that her reputation was disgraced. She was forced to sell all of her possessions in order to pay the debt. Her services were no longer required by the most respected houses in the village, and soon she fell into despair.

No longer did her beauty turn the head of any man. No longer was she worthy to wear the makeup of a geisha. She was forced to accept the truth that she had nothing. Her treatment of the old man made her feel ashamed, as now, she too was begging on the streets.

Starving, she went to the river to catch some fish, where upon she met a young man fishing. He threw out the nets and pulled them in. After some time he called out to her and demanded to know who she was. When the girl came nearer to the fisherman she was surprised to learn that he was blind. She was amazed that he could catch so many fish without his sight.

He explained to her that although it may seem that he has very little, that is all he needs. His life is a happy one. He does not need gold to live, only the river and his health.

The geisha now understood that her greed and pride was to blame for her downfall. She stayed with the man and began to share his happiness also, for she had learned; that true happiness is entwined with sadness, for a person cannot fully appreciate one without the other.

After the show there was a great feast. I decided to take the opportunity to sit next to Toshie's group. There was some outrage at this with members of the village demanding that I take a place at the head table. I declined the invitation however and instead complimented the effort of the children on their marvellous costumes.

Hiro explained with great pride that he was wearing a replica of his Grandfather's armour. He had been a solder once during the era of Great War many years ago. This used to be called Ninkai Daisen. It was a time when the hidden villages were in their infancy and battling for control of the central lands. There were a sizable army of men who had been trained in the ninja arts. For those who were not so privileged the way of the sword was weapon of choice. Koshinuke was renowned for his skill with the blade, and so Hiro was also wearing a small sword.

"I hope you're not going to go around chopping and hacking at things," I told him seriously.

The boy smiled, "It's only a blunt sword, Lady Leaf. Grandma Rooba wouldn't let me run around with a sharp one!"

I felt relieved, watching Azuma and Ayuta whacking each other with their spiky tails I could just imagine the play fighting getting out of hand.

Toshie was very quiet. The blue haired girl was usually interrupting any conversation and bossing Hiro around. I watched her pick up a small chilli and place the food in her mouth chewing absently. There was no reaction. I suspected that she did not even taste the full flavour of the explosive fruit. She seemed bleak inside herself.

When I asked about her costume however there was still plenty of fire in the youngster after all.

"I'm a desert flower!" She cried out as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. I apologised profusely. When I asked if anything was wrong the young girl huffed and replied, "Nothing important."

I persisted for another five minutes to squeeze the sorry story out of Toshie. It transpired that her brother, (whom I had never actually met) refused to attend the festival. He had promised to help make a costume and accompany his little sister to the celebrations. The day before the festival however he'd changed his mind. After a fierce row Toshie was left to make a costume by herself. She'd wanted to be a kunoichi, unfortunately there was no time to gather the necessary materials and since she could not sew it was hopeless.

"It doesn't matter though I can always be one next year!" She said pretending to shake it off. Her gaze wondered up and down the table for a moment before asking, "Hey Lady Leaf, since obviously _I_ can't win the costume competition, which would you pick?"

My eyes flickered briefly to the head table further down the row. The mischievous scamp stood up a little and followed my trail of sight. She smiled back at me slyly, "The Kazza looks pretty cool, don't you think?"

"I hadn't noticed," I lied trying to think quickly of another topic of conversation.

After the long meal I took a walk towards the ___yagura_. All appeared to be in order; the floor had been lined with wooden floor boards and red lanterns were swinging gently from above. The musicians were busy tuning their instruments and running through scales.

I wandered to the other side of the yagura double checking that it was securely in place. There I found a box of straw hats lying on the floor. I took one up studying the paper flowers curled tightly into a ball with small, delicate petals. It was a while before the folk dance began this was to be the opening number - probably the most important of the whole day. I'd practised whenever I could, although dancing was not an activity that came naturally to me. My two left feet at times were reluctant to reproduce the steps that I was able to do only moments before.

Stepping through the motions one last time might help; so I spun in a tight circle followed by waving the hat to the left then the right. Another spin was accompanied by a change in direction when the steps repeated once more. In the second part everyone would face the main bandstand walking towards it and then back with longer strides. Another cycle to match the first part came next with the key change afterwards. The dancers would weave in and out of each other until they returned to their original position.

This all sounded simple enough and I knew that even if I did get lost all I had to do was follow the person in front! Compared to my koto solo this dancing business would be much less of a hassle.

"You will need to move to the right first, rather than the left."

I froze. So, someone had been watching the whole time. I hid the decorative head gear instinctively behind me in alarm, as if by doing this I could deny dancing completely on my own! It was Gaara again, always ready to be the mentor and catch me off guard. In his hand was a paper fan of his own blue and gold to match his kimono.

"Actually, I checked with Hiro. I think you'll find it is from left to right!" I revealed my source immediately in the hope that just for once I wasn't wrong.

"For the male dancers, yes," he admitted. "They must take the lead in order to avoid confusion and I believe it is also a tradition. Since the festival is a celebration of both old and new adhering to such customs will be expected."

_Well, there's no come back from that I suppose. _

"Oh great, So, I've learnt the whole dance the wrong way round?" I groaned. "This couldn't get any better!"

He stood opposite me without a saying a word flicking out the fan without blinking. I watched in wonder as he slowly walked through the steps beginning from right to left. If Temari knew I was here alone with the Kazekage she would have a fit!

"Try to clear your mind of all you have learnt before. Your body must also be retrained as it has developed a muscle memory of the original movements."

Asking me to forget what I had crammed into my mind was no mean feat. I kept looking at the patterns of my companion's feet and tapping my arms to memorise the direction of the sweeping fan. Rooba had been right, Gaara was actually dancing and not only that, he was a pretty good one too! So strange it was for the ninja to kill with one hand and dance so gracefully with the other. There was no way to describe his motion only that it was smooth and flowed like water. As in his fighting style no energy was wasted, momentum carried one action to the next, seamless.

So entranced was I that I failed to notice another stranger approaching. Suddenly there was a great flash of light causing white stars to float in my vision.

"Pardon me, miss. I couldn't help but admire the costumes of your good self and the young gentleman there." A charming voice came from behind a large black box. I circled the box trying to find the owner, but from behind there was only a black curtain half covering a pair of sky blue boots. A few seconds later the owner of the camera came out. His height was unusual, barely three foot tall. He stepped off a red stool and came to shake my hand.

"I'm Bokeh, a travelling photographer," he introduced himself. "I've captured quite a collection of events from all over the world. This is my first time in the Sand Village though, the gossip and buzz about this festival has got everyone talking. So, I thought why not take a few snaps and show the folks at home what they're missing?"

He wore a brown hood with a curious collection of grasses sticking out at odd angles. He didn't seem fazed by the way Gaara stopped dancing immediately and glared at him.

"Pleased to meet you, Bokeh, my name is Yasu and this is my good friend Gaara. He was just showing me the steps of a dance that I need to learn."

"Delighted," Bokeh laughed. "I don't want to keep you then. Would you mind if I took a quick photo of the pair of you together?"

It was a perfectly innocent suggestion.

"Erm, I don't know whether..." I glanced in panic back at the red haired shinobi.

Bokeh failed to sense my unease about the situation, "Come on now! Young sir, you wouldn't take offence standing next to such a pretty lady, would you?" His brown eyes shone bright and wide giving them a puppy dog appearance.

Predictably Gaara said nothing. I expected him to send the sand rushing towards the photographer snapping him and the camera in half. However he instead folded the fan and stood beside me.

So there we where together waiting for Bokeh to refill the precious powder in his camera box. One arm protruded from the black curtain holding a tall grey stick. His cajoled us into position closer and closer insisting that we were still out of shot. The Kage had to bend in towards me to avoid his head being chopped off. It felt like a decade had passed before finally there was a great puff of smoke and I broke away.

The photographer took a small scroll and quill, "I'll make you both a copy seeing as you've been so helpful and all. So, Yasu, where shall I send it to?" I gave my mother's address seeing as it would take over a month for the picture to be developed. Bokeh nodded with understanding and proceeded to repeat the same question to Gaara.

"The Kazekage Residence," he replied simply. Bokeh did a double take and looked as though he may say something, but decided against it. Instead he nodded and jotted down the address for reference and closed the scroll.

With the photograph taken we returned back to the task at hand. With the Kage as my partner I managed to relearn the dance just in time to greet the evening crowds. The sun began to set like a blazing fire amongst the shadows of the tall sand dunes. Day became smothered by night and the band played a triumphant welcome to the villagers.

The children performed first still bursting with energy. Grandma Rooba watched with an open and tearful pride at seeing the old ways reborn through youth. In fact all the elders continued to clap long after the performance had finished. This amused the children immensely and it was difficult to see when they would stop bowing to this endless appreciation.

An encore was called for and as an additional surprise the elders and children sang together. I recognised the tune from somewhere, before realising it was the anthem I had written for my koto solo. Visibly moved by the song everyone was invited to join in the final chorus which they did. At this point I could see that the words were no longer mine they belonged to Suna, and to be honest I didn't mind one bit. If I could try to imprint this sound into my memories then perhaps when times were hard, I could sing the song alone and feel better. Music was powerful like that - I believe it has a special magic all of its own.


	45. Signs

**Chapter 45 - Signs**

There was nothing quite like the aching muscles of weary body ready for sleep. Sinking into bed with a feeling of deep happiness and contentment, I settled into a peaceful slumber. In the darkness of my closed eyelids I could still see dancers floating and swooping. A shower of multi-coloured papers fluttered from above coating the crowd. The music was slower with its sound distorted in muffled bursts of high and low notes. I saw a hand and took it swinging around wildly in circles. There were long sleeves of navy and gold, which I followed quickly keeping in time. Then he turns. Sharp turquoise eyes seeking mine, ensuring I remembered the key change in direction.

The drum beats like my heart as I struggle to contain my admiration for the Kazekage. I want the dance to last forever to always touch his hand. To others his face is set, neither a frown nor smirk. I however can see an inner smile shining through, the jinchūriki hides it well but it is there. My fingers reach out to caress his cheek and suddenly the music stops. With Temari unable to pry or judge, I blush in my sleep as inner desires rush to the surface. A thrill of yearning heat spreads throughout my body.

There is a sudden shift in my fantasy, an uncomfortable tingling down my spine. My mind becomes drawn to leave behind the warmth and pleasant scene despite my protests. Gaara's handsome face disappears into clouds of fog. I try to hold onto the light ignoring the dark and chilling shadows that have begun to claim the dream. I am powerless to stop new visions creeping soundlessly into place. There are images of fires in the night burning with ferocious flames that create faces. Some faces are monstrous, but there are others contorted in pain trapped inside. Their yellow fingers reach out to me but as they leave the core of the fire they become ash. The spitting embers force me on and every time I try to turn around, another fire springs to life blocking my path.

Desperately I cover my ears to try and stop the senseless moaning boring further into my brain. At first I believe the screeches and cries to belong to the people inside the fires. As I continue my journey however I realise there are faces in the mud that I am walking through. Great clumps of squelching mud churn and bubble underneath my feet. I can see the shapes of hollowed black eyes and gaping mouths, these are screaming. I place a flat palm near to one and feel a rush of air.

"Who are you?" I cry out into the darkness hearing the echo surrounding me. All the eyes turn toward me and the screams cease.

I can feel a presence now, it is a powerful energy. My search for the source is fruitless at this time and I guessed that the only way forward was to follow the path. With no sound at all, the nightmare felt even more threatening than before. Where was the crackling of the fires? The silence was disturbing on a level that made my soul quake and shiver inside. Something was wrong. I could not feel the flames heating my face, and the cold mud coating my feet. These things I was exposing my body to here and now, however it was as though I was completely numb. Yet, there was a distinct sensation on the nape of my neck, something wet and very warm. It was odd however as when I touched my skin my hand came away dry. I try to ignore the moisture that actually isn't there. More ghost sensations occurr: hair from my scalp being tugged and droplets of water dripping on my forehead. Instinctively I reach for my hair which is flat and resting loosely on my shoulders. My forehead dry there is nothing there. A panic brews so I slap my face hard, it doesn't hurt. I can feel something crawling up my leg, but again there is nothing.

With little choice I plough on, maybe if I reached my destination I would finally wake up. A building comes into view and for the first time in a long while I was deeply afraid. It was the temple, the same temple I had seen when sharing my chakra with Gaara during the spinning tree incident at the stadium.

"Shukaku, is that you playing with my mind?" I whispered.

That did it. I was suddenly thrown back into the waking world, and the sight that met me made me wish that I had stayed where I was. There in the night sky bright and blinding was a full moon. I struggled to move before realising my body was tied down securely with ropes. My hair was grasped in the quivering yellow palm of a near perfectly formed tanuki. A pair of yellow irises with a singular black star each, and four spots squinted at me with pleasure. There was no hint of Gaara left at all. I couldn't make out a single strand of red hair only the demonic smirk stretched over bony features. The possession was near completion. I'd heard the bloodlust of the creature was particularly potent during a full moon. He'd been searching for a way to get passed Gaara's guard ever since tearing up the peace garden over a year ago. I'd been warned that Shukaku would devour my body and soul before too long. The corrupted sand priest demanded sacrifice to satisfy his murderous lust for revenge.

I could feel the sticky oil applied to my legs and the red paint anointed down my neck. I understood that although I had been asleep these odd 'ghost' sensations I'd experienced, were things that Shukaku had been doing in preparation for my death. The thought that he'd been touching me without my permission or even consciousness in the same plain made me shiver. I tried to twist my head to get a better view of where I was. We were up high somewhere I knew that much.

His laughter a hollow sluggish sound, whistled near my ears. A single crooked nail teased slowly across the skin of one arm. I could then feel the sharp finger nail slicing into the vulnerable flesh. White flecks of skin cells and blood clung to the brown nail which Shukaku placed in his mouth and sucked clean.

"I'm going to enjoy making you suffer, little pest. You should have stayed back in Konoha." The tanuki began to sharpen a set of short thin daggers against one another, slowly grinding the screeching metal. I was hypnotised by the blades, my breathing becoming so fast that I was in danger of hypo ventilating. "It's taken a long time for the boy to finally succumb. He used to embrace my philosophy - quite freely. He understood that only a regular flow of crimson blood from lifeless eyes can sustain me. Their life blood bestows greater power upon me, and in return I allow him continued use of this vessel for..." He laughed at this heartily, "Life."

"You call living to kill others a life?" I asked bewildered.

"Humph, like I have to explain myself to weakling like you!" He bawled into my face before returning to his work. "Bloody humans, think you're masters of the universe performing party tricks you call jutsu, bah!"

I was beginning to see a pattern with any creature from another dimension. They really seemed to have it in for us. I was reminded of the daimyo's rat and his equal lack of manners.

"Whatever you think of humans, you're only alive because of Gaara you know." I argued back not quite sure how this would help my cause. "I reckon you're pissed because you know you're not needed anymore."

"Oh, but you're wrong I am needed!" Shukaku laughed. "He's become weak. Started with that brat back at the forest, he dared to strike me. If there is one person I will kill after you, it shall be _him_." He gazed lovingly at the dagger, "Once you're dead things will go back the way they were, with blood, lots of blood!"

"What if Gaara doesn't want to kill anymore?"

Slowly he brought the blade just above my naval, "My host doesn't get what it wants. I get what _I_ want." He smirked unpleasantly with increasing amounts of saliva dripping from his enormous incisors.

There was nothing I could do tied up like this, far away from anyone and help. I thought about what Temari might do, and then recalled her telling me about how frightened she was of the sand spirit. She told me the first time Kankuro saw the beast he couldn't eat anything for a whole week. This was the second time I'd witnessed Shukaku and his gagging inducing smell that was never far behind. He spoke crudely with little reason aside from his own needs and desires. With such a fierce intent to kill I sympathised with Gaara, perhaps the will of the priest was too powerful to sway. I wondered what it might be like sharing your mind with another voice, hearing it call to you and whisper in your thoughts. When the life you'd led thus far was lonely and full of pain; to have this entity with a wealth of experience offering you the answers, when only the sand concerned itself with the preservation of your life. To hear Shukaku explain and offer his own poisonous perspective day after day, night after night, would I be strong enough to ignore him? I couldn't imagine it. 

_It's okay_, I thought laying my head down. _You can kill me, I won't hold it against you, I swear._

I felt strangely calm as though a wave had washed over my head, and taken the fear with it.

"Let what is past flow downstream," I said dreamily allowing the burdens to drift away. None of it mattered anymore...

Suddenly the peace was shattered loudly by the splintering of wood. I was jerked awake and saw the dagger stuck fast in a thick oak branch that had sprung from my stomach. Shukaku roared with annoyance as he tried again and again to thrust the weapon into flesh. My body it seemed had not given up on me.

There was a fizzing noise as a bright yellow ball soared through the air. It landed on the surprised creature before exploding spectacularly separating arm from body. Another cocoon of wood spiralled around me protecting me from the blast. By this point however I could feel the ropes loosening and wriggled free. I swung my legs over the edge of the make shift altar and finally I realised that I was sitting on top of the yagura in the main square.

"Get her out the way, quickly!" A familiar male voice shrieked with agitation.

Efficiently I was removed from the scene and spotted more glowing yellow balls descending upon Shukuku's position. It was like a firework display with fizzing trials of white and loud bangs. As I was taken to safety there was a chaos of raging emotions battling inside me; I was relieved on one hand to be far away from danger, on the other hand I realised Gaara was still possessed. I watched transfixed from the rooftop. The yagura was wobbling precariously having snapped away from the fixtures holding it in place. The gigantic drum shaped structure finally toppled directly onto Shukaku with an almighty crash! This was followed by more paper bombs, and the metallic stretch of restraining wires tossed across the creature's body.

I could hear shouting.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"It's Kankuro." Baki's face was grim illuminated by continuing blasts from the paper bombs. "He's trying to convince Gaara to take back control."

"I don't understand. He's been able to control Shukaku until now!"

A sigh escaped from the man, "Gaara has managed to repress the bloodlust of the demon for quite some time. That does not mean however the problem has gone away. The Kazekage maintains his guard against possession at all times, this takes a devastating toll on his energy reserves and state of mind. Recently he has become distracted. Ambassador, I'm sure you know by now that your continuing presence here is putting Suna in danger."

So here it was again, another person I respected and trusted telling me to leave. I thought Temari was being an over protective big sister, but to have Baki emphasising the point too. I looked upon the destruction of the yagura and saw burning wood, a reminder of my nightmares about the Festival. This was the final straw. No matter how awful the prospect of returning home was I had no choice but to comply.


	46. Goodbye

**Chapter 46 - Goodbye**

My cart, (which was the only transport available at short notice) rolled slowly down the deserted streets. There were scorch marks on the clay buildings, miraculously standing after Shukaku's possession of Gaara. I still didn't know how Kankuro and the others had managed to contain the destruction. There was evidence of a fight with scraps of lighting papers and blood splatters, but this I regarded as minor. After all I had seen with my own eyes what was possible and it could have been so much worse.

Muscles tugged at either side of my mouth dragging it into a frown. I remembered entering the village in a violent sandstorm, clutching onto Temari's back tightly as a shell to a tortoise. Of course back then I had no idea who or what lay ahead of me, it had been a voyage of pure discovery. I laughed thinking back to my horrendous judgements the first week including the letter I had sent to Master Homura.

_The sun may shine here for more hours than any other continent in the whole world, but it has the coldest heart on Earth. _

"It was all going so well," I grumbled into my boots.

"You mumbling something back there, Yasu?" Torao asked giving the reigns another quick flick. He'd been sent here to pick me up and help make my exit in the early hours. A few of the more important possessions belonging to the Konoha elders plus all the paperwork I had accumulated was stashed here with me.

I felt like a thief stealing away having said no goodbyes to the people who cared. They would be disappointed by the sudden absence some might say even furious. Toshie for one might even throw kunai at the door of the ambassador residence. She'd never really developed those anger management skills we'd talked about. Maybe I should drop by her house and leave a note at least? I thought about it for all of a few seconds before realising there was no such thing as a short letter with me. It would take at least an hour to come up with the right way to put things, craft the words to ease her pain. By that time Toshie would be awake and opening the door wondering why I was there!

With a sigh I glanced at the Administration Building. Buried within a prison of guilt, Gaara would be trying to make sense of last night's chaos. It didn't do any good to ponder on the Kazekage at the moment I was being strangled perfectly well by my own doom and gloom.

We passed through the narrow rock tunnel leading outside the village. All far too easy then again Temari was a master at making plans come to fruition. I'd been told to pack immediately, and at dawn several men had come and placed everything onto the cart in total silence. She did not want to hear my plea about Gaara's condition - to her the Kazekage was not in charge until he had regained complete control. Until he was back in Ivory Towers in human form my fate rested in the female kunoichi's hands. And because of the danger that I posed to her brother I was to be removed effective immediately. In the meantime I'd be left to the fiery will of Lady Tsunade back in the Land of Fire.

"Please wait!" A shrill voice rang out accompanied with clumping footsteps. It was a single figure, who tripped over his own feet in rapid succession. Each time with renewed determination he stood up and continued to run his disoriented stagger. When eventually he caught up I recognised the brown curls and exhausted face sweating like a pig.

"Tell me," he gasped. "What do you know about Grandpa?" He said impatiently, aggravated at my lack of response. "I know you've holding something back."

My eyes blinked as I considered carefully what the young boy was referring to. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said at last hoping to throw him off the scent.

He seemed undeterred however as two chocolate brown eyes widened. "I heard Lord Kazekage talking to Grandma Rooba. He said that Grandpa died to save you. Please tell me – is it true?"

"Hiro... You shouldn't listen to adult conversations."

"But you're leaving!" He protested. "You can't just walk away and leave the people here thinking he'd gone mad! They won't believe anyone else."

"I can't tell them the truth if I don't know what the truth is. I know that I survived that night _somehow_, but..." I was lost I hadn't expected Hiro to come running after me demanding answers. "I have to go Hiro. When I remember I promise to write to you and explain exactly what happened."

"Do you promise?" He puffed out his chest trying to seem taller than he was. "Cos when I'm old enough am gonna go travelling to Konoha and find you if you don't!"

I couldn't explain how much I wanted to forget that night and so all I could do was nod. The cart moved on.

"Goodbye Lady Leaf!" He called sadly.

I watched transfixed as the figure slowly disappeared through the increasing distance. After an hour when I squinted my eyes I thought I could make out a hand waving dumbly I waved back thinking Hiro could still see me.

By the time we reached the edges of the desert there was a sand storm moving in. Torao continued to a stream and made camp for the night. In the morning the journey continued taking us further into the fresh terrain, leaving the sands behind as a bad memory. Looking around for clues it was the first time I had considered the time of year. It felt cold. I searched for any flowers still alive for signs of the season, there were none.

Torao told me we had begun to enter winter. The first snows had reached the taller mountain ranges to the North. From the sea colder air fronts had made themselves known to the farmers in the Land of Rice Paddies and they had returned home.

Winter in Konohagakure, I vaguely pictured making snow angels with Naoki, lighting fires and watching glistening frost spread onto window panes. Compared to the Land of Snow which Naruto had once mentioned, Konoha enjoyed fairly mild winters. He had travelled there many years ago with Sasuke and Sakura, when they were still Team Seven. They had fought to save a princess, a princess who did not want to be one. Naruto had rolled his eyes at the mention of the many escape attempts she had made to avoid the role.

I was lucky it was all out of my hands now. I had to be honest and admit there were very few things I would actually miss about being an ambassador. The power held no appeal to me any longer and the title could be thrown away for all I cared. Becoming ambassador had been nothing short of an endless headache and I was glad to be free of it. The only thing I missed was my friends...

Maybe in another time I would still be sitting on the steps gazing at the sun. In another place where I never had the cursed blood of Hashirama Senju, where Hiro's Grandpa was alive, working in the ink shop, Lady Tsunade was a kind, gracious leader and Gaara was not possessed by a demon. I clutched at the unlikely dream just a little longer despite the threat of summoning more tears.

Suddenly there was a heavy jolt, which launched me from my comfortable perch onto the chest I had securely placed by my side. I lay there paralysed by the impact of the landing, having managed to fall squarely onto its curved wooden lid with a sickening crunch. To make matters worse a sizable collection of objects buried my face in dark shadow. The sky disappeared for several moments until I felt the cart lower as though a person had jumped onto it. I blew a scroll away from my nose, and then scowled as it fluttered and settled once more. I was desperate to scratch my nose. How it tingled persistently!

Blue sky appeared inch by inch like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle slotting into place. When my arms were free I lay down fiercely attacking the scratch with my nails. It was not enough to simply scratch the itch, there was further rubbing with my fists in round circles to the sides of my nostrils. A sickening squelchy sound was accompanied by a satisfying groan of relief. When I finally opened my eyes ready to greet the laughter of Torao for rescuing me, there was something else.

"Oh crap!" I spluttered out.

"Ambassador..." Gaara acknowledged before narrowing his green eyes.

"Lord Kazekage!" I replied in alarm regaining my wits. I tried to sit up but couldn't, for my body was still reeling from the fall only moments earlier. "Oh for goodness sake..." I tried again to move leaning backwards on my elbows and then slipped due to the rolls of paper scattered on the floor. My pathetic rueful laugh was accompanied by the shrugging of shoulders, "Can't move."

"So I see," Gaara agreed looking down with the same air of superiority that he always held.

I couldn't believe it - I had followed Temari's instructions down the last letter. I was supposed to have been tucked away in Konoha for at least two days before Gaara realised I was even gone. Yet here he was glaring at me! In one beat my heart boomed with excitement at seeing the young shinobi, I would be able to say goodbye properly. Then I saw the faces of Baku, Lady Fifth and Temari yelling and bawling in a haze of red smoke; angry at my deception and for speaking to the Kazekage. I had to get rid of him quickly. We were less than seven miles away from the majestic gates of The Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Gaara leaned against another set of drawers to the side of me. Absently he slid his finger across the wooden surface and watched as it became lined with a film of dust. He rubbed his finger tips together removing the dirt.

I lay there trying to guess what troublesome thoughts might be dashing about in his mind. Shukaku and my sacrifice on the yagura altar were top of my guess list. The hideous and wild face of the monster standing above me with a blade still haunted even my waking hours. How much of that had Gaara witnessed? Had he heard my submission to death? Did it freak him out? So many questions that I never expected answers to, I had been prepared to shut myself away and forget everything.

"Why are you here?" I began, still aware that I was flat on my back. Mind you there was no one spying on us now. No Hokage, mentors or sisters to advise what was best. It had been a very long time ago when we last sat together on the steps outside my shack. I understood that the duties of a leader left very little time for the Kazekage to have time to himself. There was even less time for nonsense social chitchat about haiku, fables and myths. In fact had it not been for the festival I would rarely have seen Gaara at all.

He seemed relieved that I opened the dialogue, and as always took the opportunity to answer my question with one of his own, "Why did you leave?" His gaze wandered to the clouds as though afraid of the answer.

I didn't know what to say. There were so many reasons why I was leaving; being ordered to came first, then there was the threat of being pulverised by Temari, Shukuku destroying the village, the accusation of treason by my peers and of course being the Hokage's half sister! All this was irrelevant however as the most dangerous reason was that when it came to Gaara I couldn't trust myself.

Somewhere along the way I had fallen short of my ambassador duties and got too close. When I first came to Suna it was a nightmare and I longed for the trees and Hokage rock with a deep passion. Over time when it became clear that the Sand Village was becoming more of a true home to me than the place of my birth, I knew something was wrong. I had immersed myself so deeply within the social fabric that I had literally forgotten what it meant to be a citizen of Konohagakure. I couldn't simply brush this aside. If it was possible I had performed my duties a little _too_ well.

"It was nothing to do with you," I joined him by looking at the sky. "My contract is up and I have to return home, that's it."

He sniffed at this, "ambassador, you are still a poor liar."

"Well, I'm not the ambassador anymore. I have no title... I'm just Yasu." I smiled at the simplicity it felt genuinely good.

"Is that what you want?"

I snarled at him, "Don't be so bloody naive, it doesn't suit you."

He was taken aback by this, eyes widening with confusion.

"We don't always get what we want, Gaara. Sometimes there are bigger powers at work that can't be controlled. I have the secrets of Konohagakure locked into my DNA, the elders of the village would never let me run around and live my own life now. If I stayed in the Land of Wind there would be great unease. They'd be worrying that I might betray the village or become a rogue for hire or something! It's happened before.

I get the feeling that I'm a problem for them. I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to do when I get back either."

This was becoming more difficult than I had ever imagined. I forced my eyes to stare at the streaks of white cloud dragged across the pool of blue. I wanted him to hold my hand just for a moment to feel the warmth of his skin. He was barely half a metre from me, but it felt like there was a wide chasm between us.

He considered his words, "Perhaps you could return to work at the hospital?"

"Three murders, the theft of your gourd and an oak tree planted in the main building, all linked back to me. After all that scandal I don't think I'd be welcomed back there somehow.

No, I think Lady Fifth will have a mind numbing, safe job lined up for me, something that will keep me _very _close in her line of sight. Let me see, maybe stacking books at the library or completing D rank missions for the rest of my life? I can hardly wait..."

Suddenly he coughed violently and took water from a flask. He drank in small sips taking the time to moisten his mouth which I noticed was chapped. I thought suddenly how far he must have travelled to come and see me. He wasn't even wearing a basic travel pack, what was he thinking?

"To become a prisoner within your own village seems wasteful. You have...talents which should be utilised not simply swept under a mat and hidden."

"Does anyone know where you are?" I asked suddenly. There were times when it was easy to forget that the young boy was actually the leader of an entire village.

"By the time Kankuro discovers my sand clone sitting at the desk it will not matter." He said with a devilish look of enjoyment.

Upon hearing this particular piece of news I was horrified. Trying to imagine the expression on the puppeteer's face when he realised his own little brother had tricked him good and proper! What panic and chaos would ensue trying to track down the missing Kage, I knew Temari would pull the pieces together soon enough. All of Suna's elders would know that Gaara had discovered their attempt at a cover up; that my swift exit had been engineered in their eyes to protect the village. However whether Gaara would interpret such events in that light upon his return would remain (for them) an uncomfortable and tense mystery.

I shook my head in disbelief, "I can't believe you just upped and left! You're supposed to be Kazekage." I realised how much like Temari I was becoming, and groaned in exasperation. "They will know that you've come to find me!"

Gaara's face came closer and spoke softly, "It was my own choice, Yasu. You must not worry for my sake for I know that you do, more so than your own well being at times. I was unable to offer my apologies for that night which was unacceptable. You knew what I was about to do"

"What Shukuku was trying to make you do," I disagreed firmly whilst attempting to sit up once more. "And so long as I'm around he'll continue to try and possess you, putting the whole village in danger again."

"Who said such a thing?"

"Nobody, forget it." My voice became strained as I finally managed to scramble up and leaned against the chest.

A clean break would be the best thing I kept telling myself desperately. After a few months I was positive that the Kazekage would be so busy that he would not even give me a second thought. My resolve was so weak that all I could do was swallow the bitter bile that bulged inside my throat.

"Do you believe I would punish them?" His low voice rumbled.

"I know you would."

He knew I was right.

"Do you realise there are times when I envy ninja from the leaf?" He changed topic suddenly. "The way you protect others in both thoughts and actions, it is to be admired. Naruto Uzumaki taught me that true strength comes from protecting someone who is precious to you. If I am unable to do that friendship is worthless."

"No friendship is ever worthless...it's just complicated." I picked up one of the scrolls and placed it back with the others. To start talking about friendship after everything that happened was crazy. I continued to tidy the mess around us in a frenzied annoyance. Gaara said nothing and watched evidently amused by my sudden urgency to reorganise the cart to satisfaction.

Knowing Tarao was probably still eavesdropping I gingerly slid my body off the end of the cart, and walked hastily towards the trees. Gaara followed and there we stood. I didn't know how I could feel so many different things just by looking at a person. He'd taught me how to stand up for myself and to realise that I could do more in this life than I ever believed possible. In his eyes my right to exist had been proven, and that meant more to me than anything else.

"I don't know what you consider to be our friendship," I hissed, the anger making me shake. "You've drawn enough tears from me to fill a well, beaten me to a pulp and never let me to win an argument – not even once!"

"Aside from insulting my intelligence," Gaara nodded. "You are accurate in your statements."

His smirk was maddening I wanted to punch him. How could he joke at a time like this?

"You just don't care do you? I never came to Suna to be your entertainment, Gaara. In fact I never wanted to come at all." I took a shuddering breath, "I wish I'd never met you."

This seemed to make no impact whatsoever. He tilted his head as through studying a curious painting, "Must you become so overwhelmed by your emotions that it clouds the little common sense that you possess?"

Hands flew to my hips as they often did when I heard criticism, "I have plenty of common sense, thank you _very_ much!"

"You said a true friend will accept both the light and the dark. That which you have seen in me you have accepted. I followed because I finally understand."

Distraught dark eyes looked into my own - it was my turn to be confused, "What do you understand?"

"I came because I fear, I am about to lose someone precious to me."

The shock of hearing such genuine words was both bliss and torture. He always came across so guarded and aloof that it was hard to read him. To hear Gaara speak of even a ghost of an attachment was bizarre. The way he acted and spoke around me was as changeable as the weather.

"You have introduced me to things I would never have considered worth my time; Haiku, cultivation of plants, opening presents...to others insignificant. At first I could not comprehend why names are more important than titles. Why sharing a burden is not weakness. How kindness effects more than severity."

"You came all this way to tell me that?"

"Come back to the village," his raspy voice demanded.

"I can't..." The two words crushed together inside my windpipe. I saw the disappointment in his face and wanted to reach out and embrace him. But he still didn't realise how cruel the demon truly was. There had to be some way to show the young Kage what I meant. I didn't want to hurt him, to make him resent his situation, but how else could I prove my point?

"Why does it hurt so much," He pleaded with me. "To hear you say that?" His dismay was painful to watch. He'd come all this way and yet would return empty handed. I would never forget the green eyes barely holding together some kind of control. He clutched his coat near to the heart, his breath wheezing.

I tried to smile and make light of it, but my voice trembled. "I'll always be your friend."

My hand reached over to his and I held it gently, bracing myself. Then it happened, the sand shield burst into life trying to rip us apart with great force. Strangely, despite knowing what would happen, it didn't prepare me. Like a swarm of angry hornets the sand grains buzzed and crackled. Gaara's mouth flew open, but any sound was drowned out.

To comprehend that a person Shukuku perceived as a threat would be attacked in close proximity could only be experienced firsthand. Gaara could never be told - he had to see for himself. The sand spirit hadn't realised what was happening between the Kazekage and me until it began to change Gaara's motives. Of course upon coming to the conclusion that such a relationship was dangerous the tanku had pulled all his energies into a relentless tug of war with his host. And despite Gaara's best efforts and desires he was not strong enough to stop Shukuku.

I held onto the hand knowing full well how much damage was being inflicted. At first Gaara held on just as tightly, but when the sand began to scratch and bite at my face his grip loosened. I needed him to understand that _it was not me_. How could he possibly believe that I would choose to leave Suna behind?

Shukaku left his host alone and solely set about tearing me apart. I bit my lip holding on, despite the terrible, searing pain. I wasn't sure what hurt the most the physical pain or my heart breaking into a million pieces. He still could not see, refusing to believe the truth that was clearly laid out. Was he so stubborn that only my dead body would be evidence enough? Then finally something solid, the Kazekage's own fingers prising our hands apart. Now I knew, he truly understood.

The sand continued to lash out whipping me. Gaara's nails clawed at my hand before finally I allowed myself to snatch back the limb. I could feel the throbbing flesh, and knew that deep red scars were already forming. Strands of my tatty blond hair were scattered across the forest floor. I was amazed to still be standing up straight, but expected to collapse at any given moment.

"Like I said," I sucked up a gulp of air. "We don't always get what we want."

He nodded dumbly, battling with how life could offer so much with one hand, before taking it away with the other.

"We must therefore make the most of what we have," he said finally in a fragile whisper. I had never seen Gaara on the verge of tears before, he faltered, calming himself before moving on. He produced a box from his inner pocket. The box was wrapped in brown paper and I realised it was the same box from my mother. "I have added something to the contents," He explained with a hidden smile. "But you will need to open it to find out."

"I don't want to open that box."

"You are correct, we don't always get what we want," he said slowly. "Sometimes we receive only what we need." The Kazekage still dressed in the coat I had given to him began walking away. He paused briefly and placed the box on the ground. "Thank you, Lady Leaf."

I watched the Great Wind Shadow leave knowing there was nothing else to say. He didn't dare look back and in a way I was very glad. As I ran to the box I could tell how the paper had been painstakingly taken apart. With the same care and attention to detail it had been folded back together. Somehow I tried to pretend that a present would make all the difference, that I would feel better. It rattled annoyingly as I returned to the cart. Even now he was testing me – seeing how many days I could last before peeking, no doubt. It was hard not to laugh at that.

"You ready to rumble yet, Yasu?" Torao yelled from the front.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I replied with my bravest smile. "I can handle _anything_!"

**Author's note** – This is the end of Lady Leaf I hope it's given at least some enjoyment along the way. I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed and encouraged me. In particular Gaaras1girl who has been very helpful, you are a star.

If you're reading this and in the middle of writing your own story, I wish you the very best of luck!

Allybee x


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